Category: Secret Wars II crossovers
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So, in this Secret Wars II epilogue, the Molecule Man finally gets a happy ending. And since Shooter isn’t writing it, Volcana’s just a dim bulb, instead of being the target of endless misogyny. There’s also an (early?) example of She-Hulk tramping around, picking up Hercules in the conclusion of the issue. But the Silver…
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Strangely, the John Byrne Beyonder does not look like the standard John Byrne male. No idea why he chose to do something different. Maybe it’s just the eyeshadow. Maybe he started with the Byrne male and then the eyeshadow ruined it. It’s an utterly goofy story, however, featuring some mind boggling continuity turns–the Dr. Doom…
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I’m banging my head against the wall trying to figure out this question–how the heck did Uncanny X-Men sell? I mean, Claremont’s writing is the wordiest drivel I think I’ve ever read in a mainstream comic book, possibly because he refuses to shut up. He writes on and on in his exposition, on and on…
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Wait, hillbillies don’t know who the Avengers are? The things I learn reading Secret Wars II crossovers…. This issue features–finally–the scene where the Beyonder reveals his body is just a modified copy of Steve Rogers’s body. Well worth reading thirty issues for that non-moment in comic history. Otherwise, Stern seems to be doing his best…
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The Beyonder and Mephisto place a bet on Spider-Man’s ability to sacrifice his personal wellbeing for others. How stupid a storyline is that one? It’s Spider-Man. The character’s entire premise is based on his personal misery. It’s a mess of an issue, as the Secret Wars II crossovers are clearly straining the entire Marvel line…
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While I’m loathe to say anything nice about Chris Claremont, especially in an issue where he apes dialogue from Little Big Man to show how conscious he is to the plight of Native Americans regarding the John Wayne cavalry movies, he almost does a good issue here. Well, maybe not. I mean, the Beyonder’s still…
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As far as lame battles go, I think Puma vs. Beyonder–actually continuing it–is about as lame as you can get. Maybe it’s just Priest’s writing (The issue credits Priest, online says Peter David wrote it. Hmm. Who’s really at fault?). I usually like it, but here it’s tired. Between the blabbering thought balloons (for every…
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Um. I never read The New Defenders so I don’t really know what the deal is with this issue, given it’s the final issue and it resolves a bunch of New Defenders stuff–is Valkyrie still dead and was Manslaughter supposed to be gay? I also didn’t know there were so many X-Men in the New…
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Say what one may about Romita’s artwork, but damn if he doesn’t draw the cutest little feet on the Beyonder the last issue? Does Secret Wars II really boil down to penis envy? Similarly, even with Claremont’s awful writing–he really thought he needed to explain Cerebro to readers in an endless expository thought balloon–he does…
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I probably grew up on Tom DeFalco’s Spider-Man and never even knew it. All I think of when I hear the name now is Spider-Girl and that’s about it. I guess I did read another DeFalco Secret Wars II crossover Spider-Man issue and the result was me thinking I should read more. This issue just…
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I mustn’t have ever picked up a New Mutants comic as a kid when I was getting Secret Wars II crossovers. I think I’d remember being this totally perplexed. Claremont’s approach to this title is apparently to throw everything he can think of into the issue, up to and including a floating subway car (and…
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So apparently Christopher Priest could always write. This issue of Power Man and Iron Fist makes me wish I had the rest of the series, or at least Priest’s work on it. The really strong part about the comic is how well Priest paints the ranges of characters’ motivations. When S.H.I.E.L.D. is about to blow-up…
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Is this my first issue of Thor? It might be, at least as an adult. I thought there was a miniseries I read, but probably not. I’ve always just assumed they sucked. I mean, I don’t all of a sudden love Thor or something; it’s still really wordy and obnoxious and not even when it’s…
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People actually read this comic? I mean, I couldn’t understand a single word of it. It’s got an insane continuity to follow, but you also have to be able to translate Gillis’s writing into narrative. It’s just a bunch of events, without any connecting scenes, over and over again. All in one comic book. It’s…
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Power Pack might be one of those ludicrously irresponsible titles–really, the kids skip school to go on vindictive, violent rampages (if Millar had the Power Pack kids kill a bunch of other kids by accident in Civil War, well, that one would be something)–but it’s got Brent Anderson artwork so I’m not sure I really…
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I can’t believe Marvel didn’t relaunch Cloak and Dagger during the Bush years. It’s a neo-con wet dream (complete with discreet racism, with Cloak being the evil black, corrupting Dagger, and cops beating witnesses). This issue is, I think, my first Cloak and Dagger ever. I wasn’t missing much. They’re both really annoying. She’s holier…
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Holy shit. I thought Byrne was going to do some kind of responsible story about a kid lighting himself on fire to be like the Human Torch but he does not. There’s certainly an element of that story in this issue, but there’s no responsibility. Byrne turns it into A Christmas Carol (but with only…
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What can make the Beyonder whole? Why, sitting through a partial retelling of Dr. Strange’s origin, of course! Every once and a while I’ll come across a comic where I’m completely unfamiliar–so far as I know–with the creative team. I’ve never heard of Peter B. Gillis, though maybe I’ve heard of Mark Badger, but certainly…
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Where to start? The Beyonder is suicidal this issue, which is pretty stupid. The Thing is some kind of pro-superhero wrestler, which is also pretty stupid. What else…. No, those two pretty much cover the big stupid parts. Then there’s the wrestling politics, the promotors trying to make it in that hard world, which isn’t…
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This Secret Wars II tie-in is a regurgitation of all the other Secret Wars II tie-ins–well, maybe not all of them, but a lot of them. It’s the Beyonder trying to understand the human experience, this time playing with the Avengers. It’s as lame as his costume on that front. And his costume is really…
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Oh, is Rick Jones green and fat as a superhero because he’s supposed to be “hulking out?” Mantlo never made it clear in the writing. I think I’ve tried to read Rom before and failed. This issue is better–and Rom-free–than the last one I tried. Maybe because Ditko draws the Beyonder like Gene Simmons with…
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You know, Alpha Flight? Not bad. I’m always somewhat loathe to compliment John Byrne (he draws Guardian’s wife like a whore, by the way, there’s something about redheaded white Canadians in boots and glasses, makes them look like whores), but he manages a team book pretty well. I had some trouble keeping up (did Marvel…
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I didn’t mention it in the previous Secret Wars II response, but is Dazzler always a loose woman or is she just being written as a loose woman for the Secret Wars II crossovers? Shooter handled it better, but here, Goodwin points it out and it just makes her look cheap. On to the art,…
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I know people love The Avengers, but I never really got into them. I think I read West Coast as a kid, but I don’t know. Probably. I probably did. Anyway, this issue reminds me more of Star Wars (one of the second two prequels mostly) than it seems like what an Avengers comic should…
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What a goofy comic book. It’s the Hulk’s origin again (I’m not sure if it’s the first time the abusive father has been included but I imagine Mantlo came up with the idea of Thunderbolt Ross destroying Bruce’s childhood stuffed animal). It’s the origin with Bruce’s father abusing him and murdering his mother (this issue…
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Jim Shooter co-wrote this issue (the first Secret Wars II crossover I’ve noticed him work on) and it shows. There’s a lot of idiotic nonsense about the Beyonder trying to buy the world legally. Of course, what lawyer to go to for help? Matt Murdock. This issue might be my first Mazzucchelli Daredevil and, I…
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You know, when John Byrne said Hispanic women with dyed hair looked like whores or whatever, I figured he knew how to draw Sue Storm to look like a chick instead of a John Byrne dude with a crappy haircut. I grew up on Man of Steel so I think I always gave Byrne a…
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People read this crap? Deadpool‘s the stupidest comic book character I’ve ever read and this might be one of the worst comics I’ve ever read. A gaggle of drunken rhesus monkeys would write a better comic book. Seriously, Marvel prints this crap–and people who want to be taken seriously still work for them? But let’s…
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This issue reveals Ronnie is not, as it turns out, in bed with the Kingpin. He just contracts him on special assignments. If Marvel had any real nads, they could do Kingpin owning Blackwater. But whatever. Ron Frenz draws a good Spider-Man comic. Not sure what I think of him overall, but this issue had…
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No doubt about it, there’s some good stuff in this issue–it’s all about the government (Ronnie Raygun in bed with the Kingpin–how did that one fly in the eighties?) dealing with the Beyonder turning a building into pure gold–but can Fingeroth overwrite thought balloons or what? No one ever stops thinking about what they’re doing.…
The Stop Button 