Marvel Premiere 2 (May 1972)

Ladies and gentlemen… the writing stylings of Roy Thomas! Yay! Yay!

Oh, wait. Umm. No. Not yay.

I suppose if someone wanted to read some really bad seventies young person counterculture dialogue, he or she could read Roy Thomas’s Adam Warlock story. It’s painful to read. And eventually painful to see too.

It’s another issue where Gil Kane’s art falls apart after a certain point. There’s this private detective who Kane draws terribly, but also disturbingly. He looks like an evil, poorly drawn Peter Lorre.

Oh, and the villains. The villains are these giant animals–a rat, a snake–and Kane butchers them. It’s like he can’t draw anything but regular people. Worse, the art all starts good and then plummets.

It’s a confusing story. Thomas loves to overwrite.

There’s a Jimmy Woo backup too, from Jack Kirby. It’s not any good, but it’s mildly interesting as a fifties relic.

Creatures on the Loose 17 (May 1972)

For some inexplicable reason, probably because he liked to read himself (I don’t think Marvel paid by the word in the seventies), Roy Thomas has his protagonist spouting expository dialogue every panel.

Thomas and Gil Kane do the feature, Guillvar Jones, and it’s beautiful to read. Kane eventually does have some weak panels, but most of them are fantastic. Lots of fluid movement. Just great.

And Thomas doesn’t do bad with the first person narration. It’s fine. All the expository dialogue (protagonist talking to himself) is terrible and narratively pointless, if not incompetent.

The issue also has some old reprints. There’s a pretty good giant sea monster one from Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko. The twist is the sea monster is intelligent, but Lee doesn’t explore that point enough. Nice art.

The other reprint is sci-fi (from Lee and Don Heck). It’s fine until the moronic ending.

DC Retroactive: Wonder Woman – The ’80s 1 (October 2011)

For three pages, Wonder Woman has good art. In their all-knowing wisdom, DC only had Carlos Rodriguez do three pages. The first part is by Rich Buckler, who’s not terrible, just not even mediocre. But the last part, by Tim Smith III, is absolutely hideous. I wonder if they were willy-nilly hiring artists, trying to make the issue a mess, since Roy Thomas’s script doesn’t deserve good art, much less publication.

Thomas’s script, full of casual sexism and atrocious expository dialogue, is one of the worst things I’ve read in a while. My favorite moment is when Silver Swan calls herself something 2.0. Now, since the story’s set in 1983, is just a dumb anarchism or is Thomas giving Swan credit for that catchphrase (based, presumably, on DOS releases).

Oh, I forgot how he kills her because she’s ugly.

It’s crap. Thomas probably can’t write grocery lists.

CREDITS

Double, Double…; writer, Roy Thomas; pencillers, Rich Buckler, Tim Smith III and Carlos Rodriguez; inkers, Joe Rubinstein, Jack Purcell, Norman Lee and Rodriguez; colorists, Kevin Colden and Matthew Petz; letterer, Travis Lanham; editors, Chynna Clugston Flores and Kwanza Johnson; publisher, DC Comics.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #12

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Conan has another dalliance, this time as consort to a queen. It doesn’t turn out so well for him—well, he gets in trouble because of her fetching handmaid as well. At least in the queen’s perspective. To Conan, he’s getting weary of women.

The sex is so obvious, I was a little surprised to see the Comics Code on the cover.

Thomas gets in a first and second act here, not much of a third one. There’s an organic feel to the plotting though—it’s very nice how he passes two weeks in brief narration.

The ending is Conan and the handmaid against the queen’s pet monster. Windsor-Smith does an excellent job of the action, using pages full of small panels to convey the scene.

The backup is a story of a knight’s machinations to marry the king’s daughter. Great art from Kane. Thomas paces it poorly though.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #11

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Windsor-Smith has this amazing close-up of Conan during a fight with an ape (the ape has gone amok, the pet of Conan’s target). There’s still the significant nose problem, but the panel just looks so great it’s hard to believe Windsor-Smith didn’t think maybe drawing a reasonable nose was in order.

Thomas continues the previous issue, somewhat awkwardly but welcomely. He backtracks a little—and shows Conan and his lady friend post-coital—but it all works out. There’s a nice continuity between the issues now, with Thomas weaving in and out of Howard source material.

This story’s double-sized (nearly) and gives Thomas a lot of room. He gets to layer the story (no idea if it’s from the Howard source) and show Conan not just as the problem-solver, but as the thief and avenger.

The series is really finding its legs.

Just not noses.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #10

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Oh, the noses. Why, oh why, can’t Windsor-Smith get noses right? He didn’t start out having problems with them. It must have been some kind of weird creative decision to draw bad noses. I don’t see how any of the characters gets enough air to breath.

Otherwise, he does a good job with the issue. There’s a very grandiose battle scene with a growing bull god and an escape from some guards. He handles those aspects fine. It’s just noses.

Thomas does his own thing here, giving the previous couple issues some closure. Conan has a sidekick return and we get resolution to his situation with the girl.

Until the last couple panels, the entire story takes place in town, which seems a little off for Conan but Thomas paces the story well and it feels right. It’s almost too bad he didn’t take another issue to finish it.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #9

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So, The Garden of Fear–Howard’s original story this issue is based on–did come out after Burroughs’s Out of Time’s Abyss. They feature a very similar evil winged race of men… though with different motives for kidnapping women.

That possible “homage” of source material aside–and Windsor-Smith’s continually weak noses and prominent brows–this issue is excellent.

It continues the last issue, with Conan and the girl, and gives them an immediate action scene. Once that scene is resolved, there’s a little calm and Thomas moves into the next part of the story. Basing the issues on Howard’s short stories gives them a nice epical quality. You get three acts an issue and the feeling things happen.

Conan mounts a rescue to save his girl–who still isn’t his girl, which makes their relationship interesting–and has to get through the obstacles.

It’s probably the best issue yet.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #8

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How sweet, Conan ends the issue with a girl on his arm. Well, actually, they’re on horseback fleeing for their lives, but it’s the first time he’s gone off with anyone else and the first girl to be around for the last page.

Windsor-Smith is doing something bad with the noses. It’s not the inkers. They’re these really small noses. I have no idea why he’s doing it, but it ruins his faces.

This issue is a direct sequel to the last, though some complications occur off-page.

It’s a treasure hunt–and Conan does get a sidekick for a while–and ends with Conan fighting some inexplicable giants during the place.

Thomas does a great job with the pacing again. This time the issue even has a longer third act (I’m curious if they’ll continue next issue straight from the cliffhanger).

Besides the nose, the book’s quite good.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #7

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The art this issue is a mess. Buscema and Adkins each hurriedly handled a half of the book. I assume Windsor-Smith was speeding along too because the result is people with huge eyes and minuscule noses. Sometimes it looks like Conan’s face is off-center on his head. It’s an ugly issue, which is too bad.

The story is mostly solid. Thomas is adapting God in the Bowl and has a lot in Conan’s head at the end. Except they don’t visualize what Conan’s seeing, it’s all in the narration. So even though Conan’s fighting a serpent god, he’s thinking about far more visually intriguing things.

The fault must be with the hurriedness—Windsor-Smith’s panel composition isn’t up to par here either (the letters page mentions the rush). Thomas does manage to get a lot in—his one page third act is the series norm; it reads fine.

Conan the Barbarian (1970) #6

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Thomas is really bad about following a story with something very similar but not exactly alike. This issue Conan has to rescue a girl from a tower, a tower where there’s something mysterious going on. Thomas doesn’t come up with anything awesome like a flying elephant from outer space, just a giant bat. Sure, it’s supposed to be a god….

In the little background Thomas gives though, he’s able to make the giant bat god work. It seems like some prehistoric beast, now revered by a cult. It works.

Buscema’s back on the inks and it shows. Windsor-Smith has some fantastic panels here. Still can’t figure out his oddly rectangular eyes though. And the splash page has some weak horns on Conan’s helmet. I thought he was wearing goggles.

The pacing is good–there’s a first act, then a second, finally a one page third. It’s a fine read.