The Legion of Monsters (1975) #1

Legion of Monsters opens with a defensive letter from editor Tony Isabella, responding to the Marvel faithful who were mad at the inglorious cancellation of the other black and white magazines. Isabella explains the books weren’t ever losing money; it’s just not in Marvel’s best interest not to make money. If readers really want black-and-white monster magazines, they better buy Legion.

They did not.

Although there’s a subscription form in the issue, Monsters only had this one issue.

And kind of for good reason.

There are four features. One Monster of Frankenstein, one continuation from Dracula Lives, and two original horror stories. All of them are uneven, starting with Doug Moench, Val Mayerik, Pablo Marcos, and Dan Adkins’s Frankenstein story. It’s after the Monster has woken up in the modern age, and he’s wandering around. He sees a princess, and even though he knows it always ends with villagers and pitchforks, he follows her.

Now, if it were just about the Monster following some girl, it’d be tired fast. But the Monster finds himself amid intrigue; it’s a costume party, and the jester tells him someone’s out to kill the princess, will the Monster help? Of course, he will. But will it be helpful help or disastrous?

The art’s sometimes excellent. Mayerik inking himself, Marcos inking Mayerik, it works out. The Adkins inks are wanting. And the story’s really dang long.

But at least it’s not the Secret Origin of Manphibian, the following story. Tony Isabella scripts from a Marv Wolfman plot. Dave Cockrum pencils, Sam Grainger inks. It’s about a Creature from the Black Lagoon type coming up through an oil well and getting in a fight with another monster from the same species, as well as some husband out to kill his wealthy wife. Or something.

It’s tedious. Maybe if the art were more distinct.

Ditto the next story, about kids picking on a former circus “freak” whose only friends are flies. It bleeds empathy, but the story’s way too long, and the art lacks Paul Kitchener pencils, Ralph Reese inks. They also share story credit with scripter Gerry Conway.

Maybe if Marvel wanted more people to be excited about Legion, they should’ve gotten together a better first issue.

The next chapter in Roy Thomas and Dick Giordano’s adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula wraps up the issue. After a lengthy (and welcome) recap of events to date, this installment covers Mina going off to marry Jonathan in Europe while Lucy’s condition worsens in England. There are multiple diary and journal keepers: Mina, Steward, and eventually Lucy.

It sure seems like Lucy has no idea she’s been Dracula’s steady blood bag for months, and, to this point, Mina hasn’t read Jonathan’s diary, even though he wants her to do so. But what Thomas doesn’t fix—and Giordano doesn’t help with—is Dr. Van Helsing, who arrives this issue to commit medical malpractice.

With the timeline visually broken out so nicely, it’s even more apparent than usual Van Helsing messes up with Lucy’s initial diagnosis and then waits too long to tell everyone what they’re dealing with.

Giordano draws Van Helsing like a combination of Santa Claus and a leprechaun.

Otherwise, lots of good art, but Lucy’s the only sympathetic character, with Seward whining almost nonstop about her marrying someone else and Van Helsing blandly kind and incompetent.

There’s one page of single-panel strips from Stuart Schwartzberg. They’re a highlight and shouldn’t be. There’s also another text article recapping monsters in other media, like it’s a real magazine again. Too little, too late.

Is it a bummer Legion didn’t continue? Sure?

But it makes sense why it didn’t.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #256

It’s one of those Legion of Super-Heroes issues where they’re asshole teenagers (actually much older people pretending to be teenagers to deceive their time-traveling friend Superboy), and it seems more like the Legion of Super-Delinquents.

This issue, they assault some theme park owner and terrorize innocent people out of the place so they can create a trip through Brainiac 5’s memories. He’s still “insane,” and they’re desperate to cure him. That cure involves one person programming his trip down memory lane while someone else reads his mind to figure out how to manipulate his feelings. When they do find a traumatic event, they change it instead of contextualizing it.

Oops, spoilers. Whatever. They want to brainwash their friend better. Is the Legion a cult?

Anyway.

While one team is trying to cure Brainy, Superboy and Cosmic Boy are destroying space police cruisers. Good thing they’re experts at saving falling ships since now they’re the ones causing the falling. Since I’ve started reading this book, I don’t think the Legion has ever been wrong. I also don’t think the government squares have ever acknowledged their infinite wisdom. Why wouldn’t they tell the government what they needed for Brainy?

Why ask when you can take, I guess? They’re not not little fascists.

And sometimes they’re scantily clad. I’m pretty sure you can find whatever nudie magazine was in the DC offices based on one of the girls, but Cosmic Boy’s got lots of lewd shots in this issue.

Gerry Conway’s still writing. He’s got a few good pages, mostly not. He drops the names too much in conversation, presumably for new readers. Given the arc is a sequel to an arc, which was a sequel to another arc, accessibility is not the series’s strong point.

No matter how often characters refer to each other by names and cool monikers.

The art’s Joe Staton and Dave Hunt. Not their worst, but not any good either.

Legion is wearing me down. Who wants to read about these asswipes.

Dracula Lives (1973) #13

They do briefly mention Dracula Lives’s impending demise; very, very briefly. It’s an excellent finale, with a couple surprising successes, but—outside a three-page Russ Heath portfolio (two Draculas and a Lilith, with lots of nipple bumps the Code’d never allow)—it’s a very different kind of issue. Besides the letters column (which doesn’t seem to reference the imminent cancellation) and the “Marvel black-and-white magazines coming soon” (which includes all the canceled titles still), there aren’t any text pieces in the issue. Lives has had a bumpy ride, so at least they go out strong with the comics.

The first story is a Western set in Transylvania. An Old West sheriff has-been goes bounty hunting Dracula; some rich guy’s son fell for a vampire bride, and now there’s a bounty to collect. Tony Isabella writes, Tony DeZuniga on art. It’s gorgeous, slightly experimental art from DeZuniga, playing to the situation’s unreality. Isabella splits the story between the bounty hunter’s Old West forced retirement story and tracking Dracula through the castle. It’s absurd, but thanks to the art, it more than works.

There’s not good art on the next story—George Tuska pencils and Virgil Redondo inks combine into a bland Dracula outing, but the peculiar story more than makes up for it. Rich Margopoulus gets the writing credit, and it’s an ambitious tale. In the present, Dracula meets a hippie artist chick who reminds him of a vampire bride he had a lot of fun with a few hundred years ago. This hippie chick’s a New Yorker moved to Paris, where she finds dudes are really more interested in bedding her a few times than staying with her. On the further negative, they’re also shitty to her about her art.

Unfortunately, there’s never a scene where Dracula likes her paintings, but it’s a fine, bittersweet tale deserving much better art.

Then comes the surprise of the issue—Tom Sutton. He writes and arts the story of a swamp mutant and how the local normies abuse him. It’s a devastating seven pages, with shockingly good art and narrative sensibilities. It doesn’t feature any vampires, much less any Dracula; not sure if it’s coincidentally great filler, Sutton’s flexing (or just his personal work), but the story’s an incredible, devastating success. It doesn’t reinvent any wheels, instead perfects them.

The last story is a Gerry Conway “History of Marvel Dracula” tale, with art by Steve Gan, set relatively soon after Dracula’s conversion, which means anywhere from ten to 100 years. Dracula’s still playing local despot, defending his serfs against outside aggression. He saves a village girl—collaterally, he’s trying to kill the enemy soldier—and she becomes enamored with him. Dracula’s not interested in school girl crushes, however, he’s got the other local warlords to argue with. They don’t seem to realize the vampire bit is for real.

Conway’s always done a little better in Lives than Tomb (despite being the first Tomb writer, I think), and even though he lays it on a bit thick—the story’s about how Dracula decided to free his serfs—there’s solid character development and excellent Gan art. It took them a while, but Marvel eventually figured out these origin tales.

It’s an outstanding late period Dracula Lives; mostly strong art, all solid or much better stories. I’m going to miss this book.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #255

In a genuinely startling event, it turns out when it comes to Joe Staton, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire—this issue features Staton’s most successful work. His inker? Vince Colletta. It’s not good art by any stretch, but it’s far more competent and consistent than Staton’s been on the book. Will Colletta be back to save the world from Staton’s pencils? Who knows, the issue feels like a fill-in.

The end of the last issue promised a Brainiac 5 resolution. This issue also promises a Brainiac 5 resolution… for the next issue. Instead, it’s a very Superboy story for Superboy and the Legion. He’s back home in Smallville, trying to be a regular kid in the fifties or sixties or teens, except he’s just too darn super. Lana Lang is on to him, so he’s got to do hijinks while helping out at Pa Kent’s store.

The Smallville sojourn doesn’t last long, with the Legionnaires coming back in time on a mission. Someone robbed the Superman Museum in the future, and they need Superboy’s glasses, except the future villain already came back in time and stole the glasses while he was distracted at work. They go back to the future, fight, fail, then go back to Krypton before it explodes to swipe some more Kryptonian glass, which is renowned around the galaxy.

Why couldn’t the bad guy go back in time to Krypton himself, maybe even head to a glass factory? Don’t ask.

There’s a funny moment when the Legionnaires ask Superboy to suit up–they wouldn’t want anyone seeing Clark Kent with some scantily clad exhibitionist time travelers. It’s unfortunately not self-aware; writer Gerry Conway keeps the plot moving, but there’s nothing to it. Clark’s bored in Smallville because it’s dull, and he’s not wrong; Conway writes a dull Superboy solo story.

It’s a mediocre narrative, but the not-horrendous art gets it through. Staton and Collettta. I’d never have guessed it.

Dracula Lives (1973) #12

No mention of Dracula Lives!’s forthcoming cancellation in the letters page, nor any explanation for the Bram Stoker’s Dracula adaptation skipping a month. Instead, the issue seems committed to origin stories; how Bram Stoker’s Dracula became the Marvel Universe’s Dracula. Or, in the case of Doug Moench’s three-part feature, how Marvel’s Dracula became Bram Stoker’s Dracula became Marvel’s Dracula.

Moench’s story is set in 1597, which is only important compared to Gerry Conway’s set in 1465. Moench’s Dracula is a sad, solitary sort. He hangs out in the castle, writing in his diary, whining about how he can’t find any good human blood these days. The villagers have gotten wise to Dracula being a bloodsucking vampire, though it turns out there’s plenty about vampires they don’t know yet.

While Dracula mopes, a stranger comes to town and offers to ride the village of Dracula for a thousand gold coins. He’s going to wait until Dracula comes to the village to feed, then head up to the castle and try to find some way to kill him. Except on this particular night, Dracula’s really, really pissed the humans are staying inside instead of coming out to be fed on—don’t they know he can’t enter a domicile without an invitation!

They do not, of course, because they don’t even know Dracula’s afraid of the sunlight yet. Or his aversion to crosses. Drac’s got a few surprises up his sleeves for the villagers, not just near the castle but also in a second village where he goes to feed the next night. But the stranger is somehow one step ahead, preparing those villagers for the attack; dejected, Dracula commits to his new role as lord of the undead and gets busy raising an army.

There’s a different artist for each chapter. Sonny Trinidad does the first; he and Moench have done some nice Lives stories. Trinidad’s work is quite nice this issue as well. Yong Montaño does the second part, which features Dracula and the new villagers, but also the first villagers getting too cocky. Montaño’s decent enough, but more on the people than the vampire. He’s got a comedic sensibility, and it doesn’t work here.

The third artist is Steve Gan, and it’s full Gothic horror. Beautiful stuff. However, his Dracula’s not as good as Trinidad’s. You’d think they’d have just ordered everyone to ape Gene Colan at some point.

Moench’s very intentional about Dracula’s character development. At the story’s start, Dracula’s a withdrawn, self-loathing monster. By the end of the story… well, he’s in a different spot. It’s an excellent feature and Moench’s best writing on the series. Does it make up for the missing Dracula adaptation chapter? Sure, fifty years later; at the time, I think I’d have been concerned.

Moench also contributes a text piece about Christopher Lee. It’s long, detailed, and enthusiastic because Moench’s a fan. It’s unclear why, however, since he seems to agree Hammer movies stink and Lee mostly made Hammer movies. The article’s disconcertingly spread throughout the magazine, presumably to make room for more advertisements.

The second story is the Conway one. Set six years after Dracula’s transformation to vampire and over a hundred years before Moench’s, this Dracula still has vampire orgies. He decides to go on a culinary trip and messes with the wrong German, who vows to avenge his sister’s death at Dracula’s hand.

Fang.

Whatever.

So Hans goes to kill Dracula in Transylvania, but times it wrong for vampire-killing success. Still, it’s warm and sunny, and Hans falls for a fetching local girl. Will Hans’s thirst for vengeance ruin their romantic bliss? Will it somehow tie into Tomb of Dracula? Will Conway bull in a china shop his way through the subtleties? Will it even matter?

Just to answer the last—no, it won’t matter, none of it will matter. Tom Sutton does the art, and it’s terrible. The story’s ten pages, and he manages to get worse every page. It’s indescribably bad art and a lousy way to finish an otherwise outstanding issue.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #254

One of the disappointing but reliable experiences of reading Joe Staton’s Legion of Super-Heroes has been the panels where his art seems to be improving but then doesn’t. In this issue, the same thing happened, and I reminded myself of the phenomenon. First, the art would seem reasonable, then go disastrously wrong.

Even with Dave Hunt inking Staton, the art doesn’t go disastrously wrong in this issue. There are some problem panels, to be sure, but there’s consistently better Staton and Hunt art on this issue than I’d have thought possible.

I wouldn’t bet on much more improvement, but I also wouldn’t have bet on the art getting this reasonable.

The story’s also surprisingly okay, with writer Gerry Conway exhibiting a knack for writing Brainiac 5. The story doesn’t cure or redeem Brainiac 5, which adds a layer to his participation—Superboy goes to him for help; no one can save the seemingly dead Legionnaires but Brainy.

Only Superboy then gets killed with Kryptonite lasers, which seem like such an obvious idea Richard Pryor should’ve used them. Or did he?

Anyway.

Brainiac 5 will figure it all out and save the day with the help of some familiar but irregular guest stars, which allows Conway one of those enthusiastically belabored Legion fights where everyone’s powers are essential. Conway keeps the reader in the dark about Brainy’s plans, so the big battle specifics come as surprises. It’s perfectly decent superhero stuff.

Besides the Brainiac 5 as bad guy stuff, the only other subplot involves the Legion finally tracking down their financier R.J. Brande. He doesn’t tell them how he escaped the shit monsters a few issues ago, but he does finally tell them he’s broke and they’re up a creek.

It’s not a great scene, especially not for the art, but it’s brief and doesn’t drag the rest down.

I’m not optimistic about the book with the current team; maybe someday, though, which is a long way from the norm.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #253

With the not insignificant caveat of art by Joe Staton and Frank Chiaramonte, which never fails to disappoint–even for that duet–it’s a fairly good issue of Superboy and the Legion. Gerry Conway scripts, and it’s a full enough, compelling enough issue.

Even if it does start with the Legion being a bunch of little pricks.

They’ve gone to the President of the Federation or Earth or whatever and pleaded for funds to rebuild their clubhouse. When the President tells them Earth has just survived an invasion and needs to focus on rebuilding infrastructure for the common people, the Legion tells him off. Why would they risk their lives if it weren’t for perks?

Superboy tries to talk his teammates down—got to stay loyal to the state, no matter what, and all—but they’re pissed off. The Legion’s going to split up; some are going to ask RJ Brande for money, forgetting they were supposed to save him from a shit monster a few issues ago and never located him. Had they found him, of course, he would’ve told them he was bankrupt and couldn’t help them. It’s not much of a C plot, but it’s something.

The Legionnaires staying on Earth are going to go out clubbing. There are six of them, including Superboy. He and Colossal Boy are the odd men out; the other four are romantic couples. Conway does a strangely good job with the mopey superheroes. They seem immature and impertinent, which probably isn’t intentional, but it’s inevitable, given the content.

Of course, the Legionnaires don’t know it, but a group of intergalactic assassins is out to get them. The six who just happened to stay on Earth and go clubbing. Those six destroyed these assassins’ planet, and these six “cousins” got lethal Fantastic Four powers. They’ve been on their way to Earth the whole issue to take out their targets.

Their thorough, vengeful attacks are pretty good when they get there, considering the art. Some of Staton’s compositions are fine, though Chiaramonte doesn’t improve the detail.

Every time I think I’m ready to give up on the book, there’s a story capable of overcoming Staton and Chiaramonte, so I cannot. Not when the story keeps such horrors at bay.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #252

This issue’s the first in the first post-Levitz era. While they left it to Jim Starlin to screw up Levitz’s epilogue, wrapping up that epilogue falls on new writer Gerry Conway. The credits promise “a new beginning” for Superboy and the Legion, with Conway writing, Joe Staton penciling, and Dave Hunt inking.

They’re off to an inauspicious start.

When we left our heroes, Earth had been destroyed (again), betrayed by Brainiac 5, who the Legion told could be emperor of the universe if he stopped the monster he’d imagined into existence from destroying reality. This issue opens with the Legion consulting Brainiac 5 about Matter-Eater Lad, who sacrificed himself to save the world at the cost of his sanity.

It’s not a great opening. They try hypnosis to cure Matter-Eater Lad, which doesn’t work, then they gotcha Brainiac 5 about him still being a prisoner. They tricked him for his intellect, which can’t figure out they’re tricking him.

Matter-Eater Lad and Brainiac 5 are going to be one of the ongoing subplots, along with the Legion’s moneybags running out of money. They’ve been teasing the latter for ages, even making it part of the previous arc. I just realized there’s no follow-up on how it resolved (off-page).

The main plot is the Legion fighting these aliens who are trying to mine the sun. Unfortunately, their technology produces red sunbeams, which render Superboy powerless. In reverse from the usual Legion approach, the bad guys beat the heroes’ individual powers instead of those powers combining to defeat the enemy.

Obviously, they defeat the enemy, but not with their powers.

Conway’s got some okay sci-fi ideas, but not Superboy and the Legion ideas. His characterizations seem either off or limited; new Legion leaders Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl are standoffish with their teammates and cloying with each other. Former leader Wildfire is now the comic relief. Conway’s not trying very hard.

The art’s in the red even for Staton and Hunt.

I didn’t want to give up on these post-Levitz issues without giving them a chance, but I think I’m only committing to one more try.

Dracula Lives (1973) #9

Until the last story, which might be the least impressive entry in an issue of unimpressive entries… I think the most successful art, overall, in the issue is Ernie Chan’s one-pager. It opens the issue, with a Tony Isabella script, all about the various ways of killing vampires. It’s amusing and practical; statements it’s difficult to make about the rest of the issue.

The first story’s the most disappointing, just because it continues Doug Moench’s okay “Dracula vs. the NYPD” story from the previous issue. This time Frank Robbins is penciling with Frank Springer inking. It’s a cartoony style, with disappointing character work. Not sure if it’s Robbins or Springer, but the people look lousy. Neither good nor bad is Dracula, who’s more inhuman. The story involves Dracula tracking down the guy who looted his castle and having to figure out how to get his wares back.

Meanwhile, the cop whose wife Dracula killed last issue is out to get him. His fellow cops believe his story of a vampire forcing the guy to kill his own wife, which tracks. Imagine what police accountability was like in the seventies.

Interestingly, Dracula’s still a somewhat mythic figure, with the lady who buys his stuff at auction (seriously, hasn’t another Tomb story used this bit) wishing he were real. Well, she finds out.

For a panel, it seems like the Franks are at least enthusiastic about good girl art but then not really.

The disappointing art sets the tone for the rest of the issue, with the most personally disappointing coming up next. It’s another Moench story (there are four features, one movie review, and a letters page, yet another change of regular content), with art by twenty-one-year-old Paul Gulacy and inks by Mike Esposito. It’s about Dracula versus some other vampire; this other vampire’s terrorizing a European village, which pisses Dracula off because it means no easy feeding there.

I’d love to say baby Paul Gulacy has the chops.

He does not. He’s got better panels and worse panels, and you can see proto-Gulacy at work (even the almond eyes), but you can’t really see how good he’ll get from this one.

The story’s got a strange finish, kind of jokey. What’s more bizarre is the other two stories have the same kind of finish.

They have a different writer, though—Gerry Conway.

His first story has Alfredo Alcala art. Alcala’s a better inker than penciller and inker. His faces are flat in the wrong places, and his figures are strange. His backgrounds are fantastic. The story’s about a young couple; the evil girl convinces the boy to rob a jewelry store for her.

Meanwhile, Dracula’s around. Their paths cross. Unlike the Moench story, this one begins and ends with light humor. It’s a weird tone, especially with the art. The whole issue just feels off.

The last story—the only one where the art’s more successful than that Chan one-pager—is about a mysterious figure in a top hat hunting Dracula. Sonny Trinidad does the art. The art’s good. The story’s terrible. Conway takes a big swing with it and completely misses. So again, the issue feels off, especially with usually sturdy (on Lives anyway) Conway fumbling both his stories. Moench’s got more art problems, so it’s hard to say. But Conway’s stories go wrong because of the writing.

The movie review—by Gerry Boudreau—covers the Hammer Dracula film, The Scars of Dracula. Boudreau hates it, though with less personality than Moench or Isabella had in their previous reviews.

No Bram Stoker’s Dracula adaptation here.

Unfortunately—and unexpectedly—I’m back to wondering if Lives is worth it again.

Dracula Lives (1973) #7

I fear Dracula Lives has reached a turning point and not for the better. While this issue retains the same page count as previous issues, there’s a lot less content. Comics content. There’s still text content, including Tony Isabella finding his voice in his Taste the Blood of Dracula review, but there’s a little bit less of it. Lots more ads. No reprints, just the three original Dracula comics… including the Roy Thomas and Dick Giordano Bram Stoker adaptation. It’s a far cry from three fifties Atlas reprints, three originals.

And the art’s not great. The art’s usually pretty good, but it’s never great. Giordano’s is the best and even he’s clearly rushed, slowing down when he can but he’s never not visibly in a hurry. There are some good panels; they’ve reached the point in the novel where Jonathan Harker runs afoul of Dracula’s brides. It’s good work from Thomas and Giordano.

Though they include two pages from the previous issue’s entry at the start, which isn’t the worst idea for reminding readers, but with this specific cliffhanger, doesn’t work.

Still. At least there’s the Thomas and Giordano entry. Because otherwise, the high point’s Isabella’s review.

The first story is the most disappointing because it seems like writer Gerry Conway’s excited at the beginning. It’s Dracula in Washington D.C., getting involved in political intrigue. Or at least politics-adjacent intrigue. A bunch of people are getting killed in mysterious ways and Drac’s invested because one of them is a Dracula stooge.

Vicente Alcazar’s art is okay. Lives’s turning point includes not getting inkers, so Alcazar’s looks like high contrast pencils. Lots of work in the pencils, but still… it feels unfinished. It also can’t save from Conway not having a plot. Turns out Dracula playing Woodward and Bernstein with a disposal guest star doesn’t the Parallax View make.

The second original’s worse but not more disappointing. Dracula versus pirates only seemed so interesting to begin with. At twelve pages, it’s also the longest story in the issue, which is strange. Just what a boring story needs, two more pages.

The script’s from Mike Friedrich, who does an okay pirate story. Shoehorning Dracula in doesn’t do any good, especially not since Friedrich doesn’t write Dracula well. Or, at least, he doesn’t have a handle on Dracula Lives Dracula. If it were a pirate story about raiding Dracula’s castle (traveling across land to do it) and Dracula guest starred, it’d be fine. But Friedrich opens with a retcon involving Dracula’s dead human wife’s necklace, tying it to Lives’s Dracula origin stories. They’re usually so much better.

George Evans does the art. It’s competent, never anything more. In a good issue, this misfire would be the lacking outlier. In this issue, it’s way too close to the norm. It’s also misogynist, which just makes it more unpleasant as it goes on too long.

Throw in another chapter of the Dracula text story (written by Thompson O'Rourke, illustrations by Ernie Chan), a recap of Dracula in other media, and the issue’s done.

I hope it gets better next time. But I’m scared it won’t.