Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #266

Half of this issue reads like writer Gerry Conway’s excited to be on the book. The other half reads like he’s miserable, detailing the petty bickering of superhero teen bros as they try to upstage one another. But when Conway’s writing about married colonists Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel? He’s having a ball.

The marrieds are on an ice planet. Bouncing Boy feels like he doesn’t have any challenges to face outside Legion life, while Duo Damsel’s just trying to keep him happy. The two of them have such a nice Silver Age vibe; it feels like a reunion sitcom but good.

Then they uncover an ancient golden… lamp, and a genie appears, speaking Arabic and talking about Saladin. Conway’s got a weird amount of detail in the story, with Colossal Boy somehow making Islamophobia a thing in the thirtieth century. Colossal Boy says Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel are making the whole thing up, but the released genie is hurtling through space at enormous size and speed. It destroys space stuff along the way (Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel are in conveniently timed hot pursuit).

The stuff with Colossal Boy and Element Lad is lifeless and draining, but the genie—Kantuu, is a potent, if problematic, villain—and the marrieds are just fantastic together. Conway enjoying himself on Legion is rare, but it pays off when it happens.

Artists Jim Janes and Frank Chiaramonte have the occasional wanting panel, but their combined style matches Conway’s Silver Age but talky vibe. The art can’t make the bickering bro Legionnaires any more interesting, though. They’re too blandly written. At least when Conway’s got a big cast, the numerous characters can cover flat characterizations, but when it’s just two of them… the cracks show fast.

But, still, so much better than I was expecting. When Conway has to think about the future besides Legion business, he’s actually got some ideas.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #265

Given Jim Starlin once took his name off a Legion story because it wasn’t published as a Super Spectacular, I started wondering if regular writer Gerry Conway just did the plot for this issue—letting J.M. DeMatteis handle the script—because there’s a Radio Shack advertisement posing as a Superman comic accompanying. With pencils by none other than Jim Starlin.

I mean, I doubt it, but it’s a question.

The Legion story wraps up the Tyroc arc, which Conway’s been cooking for a couple issues. Tyroc—the only Black Legionnaire–ran off when they needed his help, causing team shithead Wildfire to go on a very pointed rant about Tyroc’s audacity and whatnot. Last issue, we found out it’s because his island homeland dimension hops every three hundred years or something. This issue finishes up that story and gets rid of the Legion’s only Black person, about four years after his first appearance. He doesn’t die; he just doesn’t escape with Shadow Lass and Dawnstar. The optics outweigh the spoilers—it’s not a particularly compelling tale, anyway.

Not the modern-day part, at least. Tyroc’s having a panic attack and ignoring all Shadow Lass and Dawnstar’s questions about being locked away from their own dimension for the rest of their lives. Eventually, he tells them the origin story of the island. A group of captive Africans, being transported in the slave trade, defeated their captors and found the island somewhere in the Atlantic. Soon after landing there, the island disappeared into another dimension. Then a few hundred years later, after they’d settled in, the island went back to Earth. And repeat. So they’re isolated both by being an island and also because they’re not permanently part of Earth’s history.

Tyroc’s a mutant (they don’t call him a mutant, of course), and he’s worried the use of his sonic powers has accelerated the window the island spends in Earth dimension.

There’s a lot of iffy and worse art from Jim Janes and Dave Hunt. It wasn’t worth the build-up, but it’s not absent good ideas.

Is The Computers That Saved Metropolis!, brought to you by DC Comics and Radio Shack, also not absent good ideas? It’s an almost thirty-page combination advertisement for Tandy Computers, a middle school computer history lesson, and Superman versus… Oh, wow. I thought writer Cary Bates created villain “Major Disaster” just for this comic (a giveaway at Radio Shack, reprinted in a number of DC comics), but he’s a Green Lantern villain. I thought for some reason they didn’t want to use a good villain like they’d need Radio Shack’s permission to use him; presumably, school teacher Ms. Wilson (Margaret to Superman) doesn’t appear again.

Anyway.

Starlin pencils, Dick Giordano inks. It’s funny how the “backup” has so much better art than the lead story here. Starlin’s always okay, sometimes better. There are some particularly good Superman action panels, as there should be, given Bates refers to him as the “Action Ace” a couple times.

Now, I must’ve had this comic at some point. I can’t imagine it wasn’t everywhere in the early eighties, either for free or close to it, but I’ve got no memory of the story. Major Disaster gets Superman to breathe in Kryptonite dust, then sets about showing off how Superman’s lost his super-smarts, which he uses to calculate all his action acing. The issue’s revelation Superman’s constantly doing math to figure out how not to kill everyone with his derring-do is… cool. Like, Superman as super-smart was always a neat bit.

Good thing Superman just gave Margaret’s class a couple Tandy TRS-80 microcomputers, which can do the math for him. Of course, he and the kids have worldwide micro-radio communication, but the best computers for crunching numbers aren’t in the Justice League Satellite; they’re available at your local Radio Shack®.

Major Disaster’s a lousy villain, and it’s too long—not to mention Bates (and Superman) contribute to erasing Hidden Figures’s NASA Black ladies (wait, is that erasure the connection with the first story?)—but it could be a lot worse. Like, Starlin’s heat vision panel’s fantastic.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #264

Turns out the only time Wildfire isn’t a raging asshole is when he’s ostensibly worried about his kidnapped parents. Either I forgot, didn’t realize, or didn’t care his parents had gotten taken last issue. They didn’t stand out (I think some parents got kidnapped off-page) because they weren’t assholes like their kid. It’s a really weird failing for writer Gerry Conway, who can write Wildfire freaking out about someone not saying hello to him, but when he’s actually supposed to be concerned….

Nothing.

The issue opens the Legionnaires causing a sky-traffic accident. Unlike the last time (I can’t remember who was writing that issue), Wildfire doesn’t threaten to incinerate the civilians in their car. He’s almost sympathetic this issue, though it’s probably just rebounding from him being such a prick every other issue.

After serving a bunch of red herring—including on the cover (which features Shadow Lass and Tyroc fighting, whereas they’re pals in the comic and Tyroc’s literally in two panels on the last page)—the issue settles into a mystery. After tracking the bad guy and the kidnapped parents to a remote power station, which turns out to be a trap, the Scooby gang starts investigating who might be after them and why. Well, they know the why—Legion patron R.J. Brande going bankrupt.

Or should I say, “B.D. Brande,” as his company’s building reads this issue. Jack C. Harris didn’t pay much attention when editing. It’d be difficult to pay too much attention—Jim Janes and Dave Hunt’s artwork is exceptionally bland and exceptionally boring. Janes occasionally does some okay composition work, but he’s also got some goofy angles. And his figures are terrible. It’s unclear how much Hunt’s inks help or hurt.

The bad guy turns out to be another of Conway’s rote Legion villains, though next issue promises something different, which is something at least. The cliffhanger reveals Tyroc’s got a good reason for running off last issue, though if he had a smartphone (in the year 2972 or whatever), the calendar app would change his life.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #263

When I was a kid reading Who’s Who, I always thought Wildfire had one of the coolest designs. I can’t believe I hadn’t seen Cosmic Boy or whoever’s dressed like a male stripper (maybe I blocked it). But, as ever, Wildfire proves to be not cool; two big examples this issue, first being shitty to Dawnstar with some major misogynist vibes, then being shittier to Tyroc (the only Black person in the future?). Tyroc’s got something going on back home and has to get there. Wildfire yells at him for having obligations while Black and promises to see him ejected from the Legion.

Though, given his living situation, Wildfire’s very much an incel, so all of it tracks except why he wasn’t kicked out of the Legion already.

In other words, duck that guy.

Anyway.

The story’s about some Legion parents coming to Earth and getting captured by a new villain. Not Wildfire or Tyroc’s parents, or any of the issue’s Legion roll call, actually. Not having anyone be too invested—except Wildfire being super mad at Tyroc having agency—lets writer Gerry Conway off the hook for some character work. Though he’s got a surprising lot of it in the opening with the parents. It’s downright fascinating. They’re these future parents from different planets (some who’ve never been to Earth), and they’ve all got powers like their kids, only they don’t use them for superheroing. They’ve never met, so they’re bonding. It’s like a really good “Love Boat” first arc.

The parents don’t seem to know it was Brainiac 5 who created the monster who destroyed Legion headquarters and killed untold billions or trillions, then got a pass on it from his paramilitary gang. Weird thing for the Legion not to tell folks when asking for government handouts and demanding no oversight.

The issue ends on a rote cliffhanger. I wonder if they’ll save the parents.

Jim Janes pencils with Dave Hunt inks. Janes’s very bland, very generic. His heroes look like the illustrations on eighties, Made in China generic action figure packaging. So… not good, but could be a lot worse. Especially for Legion.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #262

James Sherman is back on art after an extended period, now going by “Jim.” His style’s simplified, with a lot less detail. He’s still got fantastic composition and his people—again, simplified—have a lot of personality in what he does give them. Last time he was on the series, he was doing these lush, expansive sci-fi action panels. Now, he’s still got the sci-fi action, just not the lushness (well, a few times). He’s not as good as before, but he’s still pretty dang good.

Leagues ahead of the norm on Legion, anyway.

Writer Gerry Conway opens with Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl on Earth talking about the Legionnaires off on their missions. They’re telling readers everything they need to know to jump on (including who’s married to who, who’s dating who, and so on; it’s a tedious exposition dump). Anyway, last issue, we read about the space circus mystery, this issue, we’re going to read about the Legion team trying to help R.J. Brande rebuild his fortune. He makes stars. Zaps space dust and turns it into a star, which he then moves around for performance art. Or something. It’s unclear. And they get distracted from their mission when they discover a destroyed star system.

It ends up being a pretty good issue. It reads like Conway’s trying out for the “Star Trek” license, with the Legionnaires encountering a strange, dangerous planet with a complicated secret. Conway even makes a “final frontier” reference, inviting the comparison. It’s okay, especially with Sherman’s art giving the characters chemistry on their detour.

There are a few times the script and the art don’t match. First, when Light Lass rescues some other Legionnaire, he wants to give her a thank you kiss, but they’re seeing other people. In the reflection on Wildfire’s helmet, we see them locking lips, but it’s not written as ominous just fun. Maybe everyone in the Legion can swing now Superboy’s gone with his Midwestern values.

Later, there’s a space travel moment made nonsensical by the art and writing being out of whack, which is far less interesting than illicit behavior.

It’s nice to have Sherman around. Conway works better with him—even taking the occasional disconnect into account—than anyone else on the book so far.

I’m sure he’s not staying. Can’t catch a break on this one.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #261

Ric Estrada takes over on pencils—John Calnan still inking—and I guess I hope he takes over from Joe Staton. Estrada’s not great on distance or action shots, but his close-ups are okay. And his not-great stuff fits with writer Gerry Conway’s Silver Age-y Legion. For example, this issue has the Legionaries hitching a ride on a warp trail. One of them just grabs it. And not Star Boy. Timber Wolf can do it.

Though based on Conway’s occasionally insipid narration, Timber Wolf can do anything. Except keep his mouth shut. He barks a bunch of orders before chasing a bad guy, with the narration talking about how he never talks.

He just talked–more than anyone else.

The story has the Legion stopping the Space Circus Assassin, who is apparently trying to start an intergalactic war between Earth and one of its former colonies. The only thing to unite the two peoples was the Space Circus, but if meanies are going to try to incite violence, what’s even the point? The silliness gets the comic through quite a bit.

It also helps they’re trying to uncover the assassin, so it’s a mystery with various reveals. Brainiac 5 is around to tell people when they’re right or wrong; whether they listen to him is another story, sometimes leading to trouble. Based on the conclusion, not only should they have really listened to him, Conway should’ve written it better. It’s a decent espionage thriller at its core, but the Space Circus stuff is just too goofy.

Except then again, Estrada does better with the goofy. The finale’s weird and enthusiastic.

I’m not sure Conway Legion is ever going to be “good,” but it’s certainly better than usual.

I really hope Estrada sticks around.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #260

Writer Gerry Conway finds his tone for Legion of Super-Heroes and it’s Silver Age homage. The issue has Joe Staton and John Calnan on the art; it’s not great, but it doesn’t have to be for a Silver Age homage. Obviously, the costumes are different, and it’s hard to imagine Wildfire having his temper tantrum in an older book, but the story’s silly Silver Age.

So, in the future, the only thing no one in the galaxy thought about doing except humanity is circuses. The circuses take up giant space stations, but their content is the same as always, which will be important when the Legion goes undercover. But first, there’s this very deliberate Legion action sequence where Conway showcases how the individual heroes’ powers come together to Voltron out and defeat the bad guy.

Or, in this case, save the intergalactic circus barker from a crashing spaceship. It’s implied the spaceship is trying to kill him, but they never actually confirm it. It could’ve been a coincidence.

The main action involves the Legionnaires pretending to be circus attractions to ferret out the assassin. Some of it is just regular circus stuff, only with the occasional alien around. For some reason, Conway draws attention to how circus “oddities” don’t make much sense in the future when people aren’t shitty to each other but then leverages them anyway.

There’s also Staton’s best page in terms of composition, with annoying bro Timber Wolf—pretending to be an acrobat—recovering from a fall. Glorious splash page. It’s still weird looking because it’s a strange mix of Silver and Bronze Ages, but it’s the first time Staton has come through with movement.

The story ends with a cliffhanger—the Legion (thanks to now fully reformed Brainiac 5’s intellect) has their prime suspects, but is there someone even more nefarious behind the circus-hating villainy? Sadly, yes, we’re going to have another circus issue.

But it’s better than I was expecting. Maybe Conway really did just hate having Superboy around.

Legion of Super-Heroes (1980) #259

I actually did a quick Google, and nothing came up (despite the image results showing the very obvious covers side-by-side), so I’m going to assume this detail isn’t an undeniable fact: Legion of Super-Heroes #259 looks ridiculously like Whatever Happened to the Man on Tomorrow a couple of times.

I didn’t even realize the covers until after reading it; I was thinking more about the last page, which has a sad Superboy flying away from his future pals. It’s time for him to go back to Smallville and stay. And his reasoning is so goofy I’m going to spoil it.

Superboy is quitting the Legion of Super-Heroes because he came across Ma and Pa Kent’s gravesite in the future. He imagines they die from some weird tropical disease, and he’s not there to save them. He realizes it’s not real and doesn’t know how they died, which sets him straight enough to fight the bad guy, Psycho-Warrior.

Psycho-Warrior is writer Gerry Conway bringing his late seventies laziness to Legion of Super-Heroes. Last issue, Conway established P-W is from the same mental hospital as Brainiac-5 but not the connection. The connection is P-W saw the Legion going and visiting Brainy and being nice to him, and P-W hates friendly people, so he decided to kill Legionaries. Or at least render them comatose.

P-W’s got a surprisingly bad secret origin too, but he’s basically just a done-in-two super-villain who can move the story along.

After the bad guy’s defeated, Superboy tells his Legion friends he’s going to the past to stay because he can’t forget death’s serious business, and he’s been having too much fun in the future. Or something. It makes no sense, and it’s poorly written, with Conway apparently trying to do a Silver Age homage—an even more gracious interpretation than when I opined he might be trying camp—and it’s more about the spectacle. They’re really doing this nothing-burger of a farewell.

The Legion all waves, knowing they’ll never see Superboy again and whatnot, but none of them are particularly affected. “We all knew this day would come,” one says.

None of the Legionnaires mention they’ve been doing body modification to appear young to Superboy before he leaves, so it’s more like he’s their pet. They’re secretly mentally abusive to him.

Whatever. Conway never used Superboy enough for it to matter he’s leaving, and Conway’s been so disappointing it doesn’t matter if Conway’s not stuck with Superboy anymore.

The Joe Staton and Dave Hunt art tries a little harder than usual. Fails but tries. Staton’s at least got the Silver Age composition down.

Why the heck did they put Conway on this book he’s clearly not interested in doing.

Anyway. Farewell, Boy of Tomorrow.

P-W’s got a surprisingly bad secret origin too, but he’s basically just a done-in-two super-villain who can move the story along.

The Legion all waves, knowing they’ll never see Superboy again and whatnot, but none of them are particularly affected. “We all knew this day would come,” one says.

None of the Legionnaires mention they’ve been doing body modification to appear young to Superboy before he leaves, so it’s more like he’s their pet. They’re secretly mentally abusive to him.

Whatever. Conway never used Superboy enough for it to matter he’s leaving, and Conway’s been so disappointing it doesn’t matter if Conway’s not stuck with Superboy anymore.

The Joe Staton and Dave Hunt art tries a little harder than usual. Fails but tries. Staton’s at least got the Silver Age composition down.

Why the heck did they put Conway on this book he’s clearly not interested in doing.

Anyway. Farewell, Boy of Tomorrow.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #258

Is Legion supposed to be camp? I’m not sure what else makes sense, given writer Gerry Conway’s actually quite good plot and his reliably insipid exposition. Quite good plotting after tricking me in the opening—I thought the splash page said the issue was jumping away from R.J. Brande’s bankruptcy plot, but I just hadn’t reread the exposition enough to understand what Conway was saying.

The Legion has finally met up with Brande, and finally discovered who took his fortune. Then these rogue science police officers attack them, and we get a reasonably good “Legionnaire’s powers are perfect for this situation” action sequence before cutting away to Brainiac 5’s prison island.

Brainiac 5 is not in this issue. Not unless he turns out to have stayed evil and just gotten worse because now the comic’s about a mystery villain. The cover says his name is “The Psycho-Warrior,” but one of the Legionnaires refers to him that way. It’s not his villain name. I mean, it’ll be his villain name, but it doesn’t make any sense. I’m not sure there’s anyone worse at naming villains than late seventies, early eighties Gerry Conway. It’s like he saved all the okay ones for Firestorm and everything else is like… “Psycho-Warrior.”

Conway toggles between the stories, the Legion and the missing fortune, and Psycho-Warrior breaking out of his and Brainy’s prison. Is he Brainy? Probably not; it’s too obviously logical and can’t be drug out.

Because there’s barely a confrontation between the heroes and this new villain (who already hates the Legion, making him just like all their other villains, who hate them for being shitty white kids). He does his escape thing; they go to the Federation Council to have a showdown.

The showdown’s bad but a good idea. If Conway had built to it over a few issues instead of just having a reason for the twist… might’ve been good.

There’s a good narrative device setting up the cliffhanger and then some otherwise lousy writing.

Maybe slightly better than usual art from Joe Staton and Dave Hunt.

This issue’s the last Superboy and the Legion. I wonder if dropping the Boy of Steel’s going to help Conway at all.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #257

If it weren’t for the backup, which pairs writer Gerry Conway with Steve Ditko (penciling, with Dan Adkins inking), this issue would give the impression Conway doesn’t like the Legion. Or, if he does, he thinks their positive traits are being smug asswipes.

In addition to the charming, sexy (really) backup story about Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel’s misadventures trying to be regular people colonists, Conway writes the feature. Joe Staton and Dave Hunt are on the art. Maybe if the story weren’t so lackluster, something about their lackluster art would’ve stood out more (I mean, there are some weird Cosmic Boy panels thanks to that outfit, but otherwise).

The feature story is all about how important it is to lie.

The Legion is in trouble with the science police for hijacking the amusement park hovering over the Grand Canyon last issue. They needed to holographic something something to make Brainiac 5 sane again. Except now, no one knows if it works, so they’re just supposed to trust Brainy as the cops and the amusement park owner yell at them.

The issue basically takes place over fifteen minutes, with the morale of the story—for Superboy, no less—being sometimes it’s better to lie to escape accountability. Did the Superboy from Superboy and the Legion go on to be the bad guy in Final Crisis or whatever? It would make sense. They’re all a bunch of assholes.

The subplot involves the rich guy who funds them being out of money—for like the sixth straight issue—but now the Legion knows about it, so Chameleon Boy’s going to get it resolved. At least there’s some momentum on that story, though it’s also a little obnoxious. Especially since it turns out the Legion does have most of their base left, just not the ostentatious part.

This book’s a trip.

The backup’s wonderful, though. Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel are a cute couple; Ditko’s layouts and Conway’s script have a lovely retro but not condescending thing going on.

I wish they’d take over the feature slot.