Dracula Lives (1973) #9

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Until the last story, which might be the least impressive entry in an issue of unimpressive entries… I think the most successful art, overall, in the issue is Ernie Chan’s one-pager. It opens the issue, with a Tony Isabella script, all about the various ways of killing vampires. It’s amusing and practical; statements it’s difficult to make about the rest of the issue.

The first story’s the most disappointing, just because it continues Doug Moench’s okay “Dracula vs. the NYPD” story from the previous issue. This time Frank Robbins is penciling with Frank Springer inking. It’s a cartoony style, with disappointing character work. Not sure if it’s Robbins or Springer, but the people look lousy. Neither good nor bad is Dracula, who’s more inhuman. The story involves Dracula tracking down the guy who looted his castle and having to figure out how to get his wares back.

Meanwhile, the cop whose wife Dracula killed last issue is out to get him. His fellow cops believe his story of a vampire forcing the guy to kill his own wife, which tracks. Imagine what police accountability was like in the seventies.

Interestingly, Dracula’s still a somewhat mythic figure, with the lady who buys his stuff at auction (seriously, hasn’t another Tomb story used this bit) wishing he were real. Well, she finds out.

For a panel, it seems like the Franks are at least enthusiastic about good girl art but then not really.

The disappointing art sets the tone for the rest of the issue, with the most personally disappointing coming up next. It’s another Moench story (there are four features, one movie review, and a letters page, yet another change of regular content), with art by twenty-one-year-old Paul Gulacy and inks by Mike Esposito. It’s about Dracula versus some other vampire; this other vampire’s terrorizing a European village, which pisses Dracula off because it means no easy feeding there.

I’d love to say baby Paul Gulacy has the chops.

He does not. He’s got better panels and worse panels, and you can see proto-Gulacy at work (even the almond eyes), but you can’t really see how good he’ll get from this one.

The story’s got a strange finish, kind of jokey. What’s more bizarre is the other two stories have the same kind of finish.

They have a different writer, though—Gerry Conway.

His first story has Alfredo Alcala art. Alcala’s a better inker than penciller and inker. His faces are flat in the wrong places, and his figures are strange. His backgrounds are fantastic. The story’s about a young couple; the evil girl convinces the boy to rob a jewelry store for her.

Meanwhile, Dracula’s around. Their paths cross. Unlike the Moench story, this one begins and ends with light humor. It’s a weird tone, especially with the art. The whole issue just feels off.

The last story—the only one where the art’s more successful than that Chan one-pager—is about a mysterious figure in a top hat hunting Dracula. Sonny Trinidad does the art. The art’s good. The story’s terrible. Conway takes a big swing with it and completely misses. So again, the issue feels off, especially with usually sturdy (on Lives anyway) Conway fumbling both his stories. Moench’s got more art problems, so it’s hard to say. But Conway’s stories go wrong because of the writing.

The movie review—by Gerry Boudreau—covers the Hammer Dracula film, The Scars of Dracula. Boudreau hates it, though with less personality than Moench or Isabella had in their previous reviews.

No Bram Stoker’s Dracula adaptation here.

Unfortunately—and unexpectedly—I’m back to wondering if Lives is worth it again.

Dracula Lives (1973) #8

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I may be committing sacrilege, but I’m not a fan of Pablo Marcos’s Dracula. Sure, the outfit looks good, but Dracula himself—with his seventies stash—looks more like a plumber than the prince of darkness. The issue opens with a Marcos pin-up; I’m not just taking the chance to gripe.

In other words, I was again concerned a few pages into Dracula Lives. Would the book continue its seemingly inevitable downward trajectory?

Nope.

There are still causes for concern. The issue has even less content than the previous one, with no movie review, no Atlas horror reprint, just an even longer prose piece. Chris Claremont has the honors this time. He’s better than many of the prose writers—possibly the best even—but it’s still… a prose piece in a comic book. Also, Claremont repeats the same paragraph structure every third or fourth one, which leaps out. Marcos contributes the art.

And the Bram Stoker’s Dracula adaptation is losing momentum, primarily because of Dick Giordano. This issue’s entry involves Jonathan Harker loitering around Castle Dracula, waiting for the story to take off; Giordano’s got very little enthusiasm for Jonathan Harker. I get it; lack of enthusiasm for Jonathan Harker is the big problem with Dracula.

Harker spends most of this chapter alone, during the day, no vampires in sight. I’m guessing Roy Thomas faithfully adapted the novel because the doldrums are familiar. It’s not a horror story right now; it’s a Victorian hostage thriller; Giordano’s not the guy for Victorian hostage thrillers.

Just like all Dracula adaptations, they promise once Drac gets to London next issue, it’ll start getting good.

But the issue’s also got two excellent original stories. The first is from Doug Moench and Tony DeZuñiga. DeZuñiga’s art is lush and gorgeous and a perfect fit for the plot. Though I just realized the story’s somewhat out-of-order; it’s a “Dracula’s U.S. Vacation,” which Lives has been loosely doing, only I thought he already went home.

Anyway.

Drac’s in New York to get back the artifacts Americans grave robbed from his castle. Moench’s got a simultaneously thin and potent subplot about Dracula becoming a pop icon and everyone being fascinated with him. Neither Lives nor Tomb addresses the general Marvel-616 public’s reaction to Dracula being real. I’m not even sure Moench’s making that flex (it’s thin, after all), but there’s also potential.

But this one’s not about the artifacts (maybe next time). Instead, it’s Dracula versus New York beat cop. Moench cuts from Dracula’s perspective to this copper’s; he hates his job, hates the working poor, and wants to quit; just one more night. And, wouldn’t you know it, Dracula attacks the streetwalker the copper didn’t arrest, and the cop intervenes.

It quickly becomes an action piece; the cop injures Dracula (slightly), but enough Dracula decides to destroy the cop. But he’s also hungry.

Great art from DeZuñiga, good script from Moench. It’s really effective.

The second original is from Len Wein, Gene Colan, and Ernie Chan. Once again, Chan proves a perfectly able inker for Colan—at least in black and white—which continues to surprise.

Thank goodness for the art. Wein’s script is surprisingly okay, but the story’s absolutely goofy. The year is 1936, and Dracula is in Rome. He’s hitting on the ladies, even when those ladies belong to the local mob bosses.

Except these mob bosses aren’t like the Sicilians from The Godfather Part II; they’re 1930s Hollywood gangster types. In the extremis. Incredibly, Colan and Chan can get away with it even as the story lends itself more to a spoofy style. It ought to be absurd comedy; thanks to the art, it’s not.

The more interesting part of the story is Dracula and the ladies. Wein writes brief flirtation and courtship scenes for Dracula and his lady victims, only without Dracula—in his thought balloons—acknowledging he’s going to kill them. They’ll be dead, and he’ll wonder what happened to that lovely Italian gal he liked so much. Still, there are some stories only Len Wein could write, and this story is one of them. Multiple times it seems like it ought to be entirely derailed, only Wein’s chugging along just fine.

Also, Colan and Chan’s Rome is absolutely incredible. Such good art.

Even as its problems continue piling up, Dracula Lives remains a very worthy read.

Dracula Lives (1973) #7

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I fear Dracula Lives has reached a turning point and not for the better. While this issue retains the same page count as previous issues, there’s a lot less content. Comics content. There’s still text content, including Tony Isabella finding his voice in his Taste the Blood of Dracula review, but there’s a little bit less of it. Lots more ads. No reprints, just the three original Dracula comics… including the Roy Thomas and Dick Giordano Bram Stoker adaptation. It’s a far cry from three fifties Atlas reprints, three originals.

And the art’s not great. The art’s usually pretty good, but it’s never great. Giordano’s is the best and even he’s clearly rushed, slowing down when he can but he’s never not visibly in a hurry. There are some good panels; they’ve reached the point in the novel where Jonathan Harker runs afoul of Dracula’s brides. It’s good work from Thomas and Giordano.

Though they include two pages from the previous issue’s entry at the start, which isn’t the worst idea for reminding readers, but with this specific cliffhanger, doesn’t work.

Still. At least there’s the Thomas and Giordano entry. Because otherwise, the high point’s Isabella’s review.

The first story is the most disappointing because it seems like writer Gerry Conway’s excited at the beginning. It’s Dracula in Washington D.C., getting involved in political intrigue. Or at least politics-adjacent intrigue. A bunch of people are getting killed in mysterious ways and Drac’s invested because one of them is a Dracula stooge.

Vicente Alcazar’s art is okay. Lives’s turning point includes not getting inkers, so Alcazar’s looks like high contrast pencils. Lots of work in the pencils, but still… it feels unfinished. It also can’t save from Conway not having a plot. Turns out Dracula playing Woodward and Bernstein with a disposal guest star doesn’t the Parallax View make.

The second original’s worse but not more disappointing. Dracula versus pirates only seemed so interesting to begin with. At twelve pages, it’s also the longest story in the issue, which is strange. Just what a boring story needs, two more pages.

The script’s from Mike Friedrich, who does an okay pirate story. Shoehorning Dracula in doesn’t do any good, especially not since Friedrich doesn’t write Dracula well. Or, at least, he doesn’t have a handle on Dracula Lives Dracula. If it were a pirate story about raiding Dracula’s castle (traveling across land to do it) and Dracula guest starred, it’d be fine. But Friedrich opens with a retcon involving Dracula’s dead human wife’s necklace, tying it to Lives’s Dracula origin stories. They’re usually so much better.

George Evans does the art. It’s competent, never anything more. In a good issue, this misfire would be the lacking outlier. In this issue, it’s way too close to the norm. It’s also misogynist, which just makes it more unpleasant as it goes on too long.

Throw in another chapter of the Dracula text story (written by Thompson O'Rourke, illustrations by Ernie Chan), a recap of Dracula in other media, and the issue’s done.

I hope it gets better next time. But I’m scared it won’t.

Dracula Lives (1973) #6

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I’m trying to decide if this issue is lackluster or if I’m just peeved I’ve managed to outpace Tomb of Dracula in my Dracula Lives read-through. The first story refers to future issues of Tomb, which would be spoilers if the comics weren’t fifty years old and I hadn’t read them already. Well, except this Lives.

The first story is from Steve Gerber, who does a better job than his last story in Lives, but it’s just a Tomb of Dracula story. Complete with Gene Colan pencils. Inked by none other than Ernie Chan, who does… dare I say it… a fine job. It’s easily the best art in the comic, though they’ve only got one serious contender, unfortunately.

Dracula’s off in Rome, hunting a priest who knows a dangerous spell—dangerous to Dracula, anyway—except there’s all sorts of Christian imagery around, which Drac doesn’t like. Crucifixes don’t cause physical damage; Dracula just really doesn’t like looking at them. It’s a far more amusing distinction than it should be, especially since it just means they haven’t thought through the 616 vampire lore.

But it’s Colan illustrating the Vatican, Dracula in disguise; it’s a good read even if it’s just a “too extreme for Comics Code” story. No way they’d let Dracula off a bunch of priests in the regular series. So it’s rote, I’m reading it out of order, but it’s also perfectly okay. And it’s gorgeous.

The text pieces might be some of the issue’s luster lacking. Doug Moench contributes a lengthy historical Dracula piece, which is fine, but it doesn’t allow him to show much personality. Later, when Tony Isabella takes over the Hammer film criticism (Dracula Has Risen from the Grave), the write-up severely lacks Moench’s personality from previous entries.

Then Thompson O’Rourke writes a prose story with Chan art. It fills pages, not much else.

The only Atlas reprint is a quick one illustrated by Mac Pakula; four pages. A man is convinced his newly arrived brother is a vampire terrorizing the town and has to deal with it before the villagers get wise. It’s middling; Pakula’s art always seems like it’s going to get better but never does, then ends up working against the story.

The second original story’s the weakest in the issue, though for complicated reasons. Isabella writes, with John Buscema and Pablo Marcos doing the art. I read the credits thinking I was in for a treat. Instead, I got a decent French Revolution history lesson from Isabella and a meandering Dracula tale. All Isabella’s energy goes into the lesson, not into integrating Dracula.

The story’s a direct continuation from last issue—a different team—and continues the Dracula vs. Cagliostro stories they’ve been doing since Lives started. Only Cagliostro has almost nothing to do with this story, certainly not the rivalry between him and Dracula, and instead focuses on the French Revolution aspect. Fine, but it’s a Dracula comic… right?

I don’t know if it’s Buscema’s pencils or Marcos’s inks, but the art never delivers either. While some of the faces are good—not Dracula’s, ever—the figures are usually off, like Buscema’s drawing them too big for Marcos’s inks.

It’s a rather disappointing story.

Luckily, the second chapter in the Bram Stoker’s Dracula adaptation is fine. And has Jonathan Harker realizing Dracula was his carriage driver last issue, though he makes the connection in narration, not thanks to the art.

This entry covers Harker’s arrival at the castle—burning through at least a page on recap, which is interesting—and Dracula attending his guest. They get through the shaving scene, Dracula telling Harker to write home and say he won’t be back, and Harker getting lost throughout the castle. No vampire brides yet. The cliffhanger’s the wall walking.

I’ve read the adaptation before—they reprinted it in the early aughts—but reading it in the context of Dracula Lives is a little different. The details echo not just through the adaptation but into the new continuity; is this Dracula story the 616 Dracula story?

Harker’s not so obnoxious this issue either; he’s a victim-in-waiting, far outclassed by the count. The cliffhanger’s at a weird point; writer Roy Thomas is keeping straight to the novel’s narration now, so he’s too tied to Harker.

Dick Giordano’s art is good too, but I remember it being better in the previous issue. His Dracula looks a bit like an old guy playing dress-up. Hopefully, it’ll get better once they get to England.

So, it’s not a bad issue; it’s just not a particularly special one. Except for making me compliment Chan.

Dracula Lives (1973) #4

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I’m getting to be such a Mike Ploog snob. Seeing him ink his own pencils, then seeing others ink his pencils… the latter always seems to come with qualifications, asterisks, and compromises. Ploog pencils this issue’s first story, written by Marv Wolfman, with Ernie Chan inking him. Chan keeps much of the detail, even much of the personality, but not the energy.

The story’s about one Louis Belski, Dracula actor. I thought Wolfman was doing a riff on Bela Lugosi: switching the initials, portraying the actor in his has-been days, ready for Ed Wood to show up with an offer, but apparently not. Belski’s instead just a hack who never achieved the greatness of Lugosi, John Carradine, or Christopher Lee—according to Dracula himself, who’s come to Hollywood to stop Belski from continuing his career.

His career’s incredibly long; Belski started at the studio when it was constructed in 1927. It’s the early seventies; the actor’s apparently in his early to mid-sixties, which kind of explains why he’s not doing well in the part. He’s also a raging drunk who starts pretending he’s really Dracula after shooting’s stopped, attacking those who wrong him, and trying to seduce an ingénue. So the actual Count doesn’t just have to contend with an obnoxious actor; he’s also got to intercede in that actor’s drunken, murderous rampage.

It’s a jam-packed story, with Wolfman sort of overwriting it but never thinking about it—Belski’s age, for instance, but then also the idea Dracula got his stake pulled in Tomb and went out to revival theaters to catch up on how he’d been portrayed in popular media. Also, Belski’s a lousy lead to follow around. It’s like a horror comic where you’re waiting for the villain’s comeuppance, but the collateral damage on the comeuppance is almost too much.

While not bad, it’s definitely disappointing. Especially for the only Ploog in Dracula Lives so far.

Then there are some text pieces; lots of text pieces this issue. And the movie stills with new text are back, though not as jokey as they’ve been before. Now they’re just interstitials. The first two text pieces are a book review about the real Dracula from Chris Claremont. The book’s called In Search of Dracula (and appears to still be in print if one’s interested), but the review’s way too overwrought with Claremont trying to be personable, then the typesetting on movie stills makes it hard to read.

Then Dwight R. Decker contributes a one-page joke vacation text about real Romania? It’s too bad the filler’s not better in Lives. Especially since they appear to be upping the text and lowering the reprint count. There are only two reprint stories.

The first is about a village where everyone thinks this lovely lady is a vampire seducing the local boys, then killing them. The truth’s more complicated and not particularly rewarding, but Joe Maneely’s art’s really good, and it’s only six pages.

The following story is another original (thank goodness they’re still doing three an issue). Gardner Fox writes, Dick Ayers does the art. It’s Dracula versus Countess Elizabeth Báthory. She’s the one who bathed in human blood to stay young. Dracula doesn’t like her getting in on his business, especially when she’s a poser. It’s a tedious twelve pages, partially because the idea’s one-note, but also because Fox’s script isn’t great, and then the Ayers art is a considerable downgrade from the rest in the issue. Not just the new features either, the reprints as well.

Then comes a couple more text pieces. One’s a jokey biography of Marv Wolfman, and the other’s a review of Horror of Dracula by Gerry Boudreau. It’s more a combination of behind-the-scenes and scene-by-scene recap with some scant critical commentary. They threaten more reviews at the end.

The second reprint is a short one, art by Tony Mortellaro, and it seems like they should’ve run it in the first issue because it’s so well-suited for Lives. A German villager only wants his daughter to marry royalty, so he kills off her poor suitors, sometimes letting vampires feed on them for cover. Despite his daughter wanting to choose her own destiny, he decides for her and makes an exceptionally bad selection.

The final story is the third original, written by Gerry Conway (easily his best Dracula in Lives or Tomb and some of his best writing from this era), with art by Vicente Alcazar. Alcazar has maybe two less than perfect panels, but otherwise, the art’s consistently breathtaking.

It’s another of the Dracula origin stories, with the former Impaler retaking his castle from the invading Turks. He’s got to deal with the newly installed regional commander but also the neighborhood Catholic priest who’s got a fairly big secret. Then, of course, there’s still the castle, which the Turks have occupied, and the local girls they’ve enslaved.

The feature’s a page shorter than the issue’s other two—eleven pages instead of twelve—, and it’s a bummer they didn’t give Conway and Alcazar more pages because it’s outstanding. Conway’s characterization of Dracula as vampire king is rather thoughtful, and—given the particulars—Drac gets to be an unproblematic protagonist. Everyone else is doing far worse things than just retaking from occupiers.

Alcazar gets a variety of action to visualize, with Dracula fighting soldiers but also finding himself in his first vampire transformation duel. It’s great.

I had been thinking I’d jump off Dracula Lives after a while, so long as Tomb doesn’t keep citing it; I don’t think I can give it up. Not just for the art either; the Conway writing on the last story is fantastic. Plus, the fifties reprints are surprisingly good. I’d always assumed fifties horror comics would be rote and stale, but nope. They’re succinct enough their initial impulse carries through.

The text material, obviously, is take or leave. Meaning leave.

Detective Comics (1937) #466

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The feature has Ernie Chan and Vince Colletta art and all the visual failings such a pairing promises. But the story’s… oddly… good?

A Silver Age Batman villain—The Signalman—returns for a bunch of themed heists. What makes it interesting is how well Signalman does against Bats. Len Wein writes; Signalman has a lot of bravado speeches, which work. Batman has a lot of descriptive speeches, which do not. Though when Batman’s just got thought balloons, it’s a little better. Especially after Signalman gets the upper hand.

It might just be the Silver Age feel of the story. While Chan’s pencils are still bad, they’re not failing to realize some brooding, dark knight detective Batman; they’re failing to realize Batman stopping a panic at the ballpark. There’s no heavy lifting to the art.

And Signalman’s outfit is ridiculous, so having a better artist on it wouldn’t do any good. The resolution’s disappointing, but it’s an entertaining enough read on the way there. Signalman’s just a colorful villain. He talks a decent amount of good smack.

It’s a totally fine feature against some considerable odds.

The backup’s more of the Calculator series from writer Bob Rozakis. This time he’s got Green Arrow fighting the Calculator, with Elongated Man along as cloying sidekick, and Marshall Rogers and Terry Austin on the art.

I was expecting quite a bit more from Rogers and Austin, but it’s either just okay, visually confusing, or downright bad. Not like, Chan and Colletta bad, but “someone else drew these faces on these heads, and you can tell” bad. The visually confusing parts come with the Calculator’s attack on Green Arrow (also at a ballpark, which they mention in the feature); Calculator is shooting baseball bats out of his head at Green Arrow, who’s breaking those baseball bats with baseball bats.

Rogers does a lousy job staging the superhero action. Though Rozakis’s script doesn’t explain Calculator’s plan at all, just having a plan. It’s bewildering, tiring, and disappointing. The only reason I was reading Detective this early was for Rogers’s backup; I wanted to get the whole story. Silly me.

I probably would’ve bet cash money against ever saying I liked an Ernie Chan and Vince Colletta story than a Marshall Rogers and Terry Austin, but here we are. The only star, obviously, is Wein. He knows how to write that Signalman story and does it well.

Tomb of Dracula (1972) #8

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Oh, no, Tom Palmer’s not inking Gene Colan this issue, and they got Ernie Chan to do it instead!

While I suppose Chan’s inks could be worse, it’s a profound downgrade in the art. During the human vampire hunter stuff, it’s reasonably okay—if chunky-lined. During Dracula’s vampire plot? It’s just wondering what it would’ve looked like with Palmer or someone better. Especially during the giant bat fight, which takes place over a few pages, and Chan does an abysmal job with.

The issue’s not just unsteady due to Chan, unfortunately. Writer Marv Wolfman employs an ill-advised declarative statement expository device, and it’s not good. His dialogue’s got more expository dumps, too; luckily, both devices go away by the comic’s second act, like Wolfman thought he had to keep it accessible for the potential new reader. Who wouldn’t have seen Chan’s name in the credits and put it back on the spinner.

Anyway.

While the vampire hunters try to survive a dozen hypnotized children trying to kill them, Dracula rushes off to tend his wounds. Quincy Harker shot him with a poison dart at the end of last issue, and it’s apparently toxic to vampires… which, obviously, makes no sense. How’s it going to move through the inanimate heart of a vampire?

It also doesn’t make sense when Dracula flies to a doctor’s house in a faraway village and reveals the doctor’s a vampire. Who’s got a twenty-year-old daughter, either meaning vampires can have babies the old-fashioned way, or Dracula wasn’t on ice very long before the first issue of Tomb. It wouldn’t be a big deal if they’d just establish some actual pre-series continuity instead of being so wishy-washy. They could even have vampires' hearts work if the swimmers still swim.

Dracula’s got plans, though. He’s in full Bond villain mode; turns out his vampire doctor pal has created a ray to awaken the dead and turn them into vampires. I’m not sure why they wouldn’t be zombies or how Dracula found a graveyard with so many still fleshy corpses, but it’s Chan inking Colan, so I also don’t care. I can’t imagine Chan would ink bony zombies any better.

The vampire hunters and the kids plot is less disappointing in terms of art. It doesn’t need to imply the supernatural, just the mundane gone terribly wrong, and Chan doesn’t detract. The writing, on the other hand, is a little pat. At no point do the vampire hunters consider killing the kids, which is dark, but it also should’ve been discussed. The resolution is a deus ex machina with a Bond gadget; the Dracula plot compensates, concluding with a whole lot of impressive dramatic heft.

It’s impossible not to wonder how the issue would read without the Chan inks. Still, it’s all right. The Dracula plot makes up for the vampire hunters one.

Also, they really need to deal with Renfield-wannabe Clifton Graves. He starts the issue with Dracula smacking him aside for being useless, then the vampire hunters smack him aside for being useless. It’s almost like he’s useless to the book.

Detective Comics (1937) #465

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I’ve never heard of writer David Vern before, but I hope it’s a while before I read another of his comics. The Batman feature’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s pretty annoying thanks to the Ernie Chan and Frank Giacola art.

Also, the story’s written like a Hostess Fruit Pie advertisement, like they’re targeting the eight-year-olds, which is about as old as you can get without the art grating.

The story’s about Commissioner Gordon and Batman’s plan for when hoods kidnap Gordon and demand to know Batman’s identity. There’s a flashback explaining Batman gave Gordon the name to say, which would then trigger a response from the Caped Crusader. It’s a delayed response, but it’s pre-smart phones; what can you do?

In the present, a mysterious man visits the offices of this red herring, which then triggers a video call to Wayne Tower, where Bruce and Alfred watch agog. Bruce immediately realizes it also means Gordon’s been kidnapped and gets into his long johns. Only he’s got to do some investigating to figure out who’s got Gordon, which means going to “The Boards.” At first, I thought Vern was going to do a Sherlock Holmes and the Baker Street Irregulars thing, but it’s just a throwaway device to get Batman on the right track.

And for the only Black guy in the comic to try to mug a white lady. Cool.

After starting with an emphasis on the detective work, the story quickly just becomes a series of poorly illustrated fight scenes, with accompanying bad exposition and dialogue. When Chan’s clearly penciled some atrocious physiology, it’s obvious what’s wrong with the art. The rest of the time, there’s just something off-putting about it, which might be “thanks” to Giacola’s inks.

The backup’s another in the Calculator series, written by Bob Rozakis (no Laurie helping him here), with pencils from Chan and inks from Terry Austin. There’s a good panel in the story. A good panel. A reaction shot of Sue Dibney (Calculator is messing with Elongated Man this time). With better art—and maybe more pages—the story ought to work; Calculator makes Elongated Man’s elongating powers contagious, just as Ralph goes to a Comic-Con with a bunch of cosplayers. So it’s these various not-heroes dressed as DC heroes elongating and mad about it.

It’s a bad story, but what else would it be in this comic? And that one panel’s good. I didn’t think there’d be one in the comic when I saw Chan was on the backup too. But I was wrong.

There’s one.

Detective Comics (1937) #464

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I went into this issue expecting the back-up—Black Canary versus the Calculator, continuing writer Bob Rozakis’s back-up from last issue—to be better than the feature, which wraps up guest star vigilante the Black Spider’s first appearance. I was wrong. While the feature is not good at all, the back-up is even worse.

The feature starts with writer Gerry Conway resolving the last issue’s cliffhanger, which had Batman about to be run over by a passenger jet. Luckily, the jet didn’t run him over; tres exciting. After some quick fisticuffs with the Black Spider, ending with Black Spider beating Batman once again—without the “gunshot wound to the shoulder” excuse because Black Spider takes him out with a kick to the knee—Batman has to figure out where the vigilante will strike next.

Luckily, Batman has some streetwalkers he can ask. The story’s take on the informant is simultaneously objectifying and moralizing. Most amusing, when she tells Batman giving him information will result in her death, he’s okay with it, continuing Conway writing Batman as a dick. In his one scene with Alfred and two with Commissioner Gordon, Batman’s more concerned with the problem of vigilantism than being rude to them this issue, however. There’s lots of soapboxing from Bats about why vigilantes are dangerous, but deputy policemen like him are jim-dandy.

The thread is a strange attempt from Conway to give the comic some heft. Apparently, the editors and Conway didn’t realize they could just as well not address it, but the reveals on Black Spider aren’t enough to fill pages. Frank Castle Jr., he ain’t. Black Spider is, as predicted, a Black man; he had a friend who got hooked on junk and went from one tragedy to another.

There’s a moment where Batman’s confused at junkies having other qualities to hammer in more moralizing. Again, Conway could’ve skipped the moment—he had that ability—but instead, he just reinforces the problems with the story.

Ernie Chan and Frank McLaughlin’s art isn’t as bad as last time, but only because Batman doesn’t have as many action sequences. Conway’s finale for the issue seems more appropriate for a Spider-Man, though Black Spider doesn’t have any webs. It’s a slight, severely undercooked story.

And leagues better than the back-up, which is six pages of atrocious dialogue and storytelling. It starts with Black Canary blowing off the Atom reporting on last issue’s adventures because she’s got better things to do. Except then, the Calculator immediately ambushes her, and she realizes she should’ve paid attention.

The Rozakises (Bob got an assist from wife Laurie) write Black Canary like an asshole but then have Calculator be a sexist piece of shit to her. His supervillain plan for this story’s goofy but also barely explained. Instead, there’s just fighting and misogyny.

The art, from Mike Grell and Terry Austin, is good… way better than the script deserves. It ends, like last time, with Calculator plotting his next move from a jail cell; presumably, they won’t explain the prison escape next time either.

Besides the Grell and Austin art, the issue’s the pits.

Detective Comics (1937) #463

Dc463

The feature has art by Ernie Chan and Frank McLaughlin. Chan’s figure drawing is rough. Batman looks silly and uncomfortable, contorting his way through the story. Gerry Conway’s got the script credit, so when the mystery villain turns out to be a Punisher clone called the Black Spider… well, at least they got Conway to write it?

I’m assuming the Black Spider turns out to be a Black guy. Not because of the name, or at least not entirely because of the name; Black Spider rants about the superfly drug dealers who need a Black Spider to eat them up. He doesn’t want to fight Batman, who’s already injured, and can escape their first encounter.

The story starts with Batman interrupting a drug deal and getting shot in the shoulder. The injury will plague him the rest of the story—the fight with Black Spider and against other assorted thugs—and maybe it’s why he’s such a dick to his friends. When Commissioner Gordon shows up at the scene of the drug bust, after saving Batman from a pissed-off city official who wants to arrest him, Batman’s condescending to his old pal. Who even gets a thought balloon thinking about how shitty Batman’s being to him.

When Batman’s similarly shitty to Alfred, a few pages later, Alfred gets no thought balloon.

Not sure why Batman’s got to be a prick, but Conway’s fully invested in it.

After the big fight with Black Spider, Batman gets in more trouble with Gordon and the city official (Arthur Reeves, who I’m pretty sure recurs), then heads off to the cliffhanger.

If the art were good, it’d probably be fine. But the art’s not good, so it’s tiring. And it’s tiring at eleven pages.

The backup has good art—Mike Grell pencils, Terry Austin inks—and it’s better. Bob Rozakis scripts: it’s the Calculator out to get a college professor during a lecture. Luckily for that college professor, his good friend the Atom is in the audience and able to protect him from the Calculator. Except the Calculator knows the Atom’s weaknesses.

Just as writing, Rozakis’s exposition is only slightly better than Conway’s, but Rozakis isn’t writing a dick Batman and jive-talking thugs. Instead, he’s just doing an action bit about the Atom trying to save his friend, who gives a boring lecture. And the art’s real good; superior superhero action in only six pages.

The backup’s cliffhanger reveals next time the Calculator will be fighting Black Canary, so it’s a villain backup. Novel enough for the seventies.