You know who should be writing DC’s new Wonder Woman? Geoff Johns.

You know who can’t write Aquaman, apparently, in Justice League? Yeah, Johns too.

This issue opens with Wonder Woman, gives a really quick look at her arrival in the new DC Universe, immediately establishing a strong female character. It’s utterly fantastic.

Shame the rest of the comic is crap.

Why is Jim Lee doing Jack Kirby creations? Lee’s denizens of Apokolips look awful. Darkseid shows up for a second. My “Super Powers” action figure looked better.

Just to elucidate, Lee’s art on the Wonder Woman scenes is pretty weak too.

Justice League was previously absent any quality. Johns brings some and doesn’t even seem to notice the difference.

If Johns and Lee–DC’s chief creative officer and co-publisher–can’t even figure out their own strengths and weaknesses, how do any DC comics have a chance?

I’m bummed.

CREDITS

Justice League, Part Three; writer, Geoff Johns; penciller, Jim Lee; inker, Scott Williams; colorists, Gabe Eltaeb and Alex Sinclair; letterer, Pat Brosseau; editors, Darren Shan and Brian Cunningham; publisher, DC Comics.

Superman’s a dick.

And so is Cyborg’s dad.

Other than those two developments, I’m not entirely sure what new developments Justice League has to offer. Jim Lee and his funny new superhero outfits?

Towards the end, when Darkseid’s minions break through to attack, it almost works. Johns and Lee almost get the issue to the point where it achieves some kind of visceral moment. But it’s only a two page spread… the rest of the comic is totally ineffective visually.

Marvel Studios guy Kevin Feige describes the Marvel team-up style as heroes who “fight each other, then they fight together.” So, yet again, the new DC Universe is just the old Warner Bros. underwear washed with Disney-brand detergent….

It’s better than the first issue if only because Barry and Hal are slightly amusing together. They remind of better comics, whereas Batman and Superman remind of crappy Frank Miller.

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p style=”font-size:11px;”>CREDITS

Justice League, Part Two; writer, Geoff Johns; penciller, Jim Lee; inker, Scott Williams; colorist, Alex Sinclair; letterer, Pat Brosseau; editors, Rex Ogle and Eddie Berganza; publisher, DC Comics.

So what’s Geoff Johns’s big insight into relaunching the DC Universe? Make it a lot like Marvels. A super-lot.

And there’s another difference. It’s not superheroes in the new DC Universe. It’s super-heroes.

What other big changes? Jim Lee draws Superman like a teenager and everyone’s costume now has small, unbelievable (and nonfunctional) bulky little patches. Maybe Lee likes to draw egg shapes or something.

I’m trying to think of what else is so special. Batman talks about Green Lantern like his fights with the Air Force are the Hulk fighting Ross… Oh, wait, there’s a “special” moment. When it becomes clear Johns’s “Year One” Batman talks exactly like Rorschach out of Watchmen. Better than Frank Miller, I guess.

Pre-Cyborg Vic Stone shows up for a useless scene. Johns should’ve told the comic through him.

Lee gets lazy immediately after the pages DC released as preview ones.

CREDITS

Justice League, Part One; writer, Geoff Johns; penciller, Jim Lee; inker, Scott Williams; colorist, Alex Sinclair; letterer, Pat Brosseau; editors, Rex Ogle and Eddie Berganza; publisher, DC Comics.