The Stop Button
blogging by Andrew Wickliffe
Category: Secret Wars II
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Yay, it’s finally over. I have no idea what happens in this issue except a bunch of superheroes hang out in the Rocky Mountains, fight the Beyonder, talk a lot, and look sad at the end. Shooter appears–he doesn’t even reveal what the Beyonder’s final plan was going to be–to be aping 2010 (the movie)…
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So the Beyonder got all bent out of shape because of his failed encounter with Puma… (Puma was supposed to kill him, according Puma’s tribe’s legends) and spends this entire issue moping. Oh, he gets in a fight with the X-Men–unfortunately he doesn’t kill them, which doesn’t fit, since he’s enraged and that Rachel Summers…
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The Beyonder sits around this entire issue. What fun. Mephisto plots against the entirely passive Beyonder–who doesn’t even speak a full paragraph until the final two panels–while the Thing is basically the main hero in the issue. Not surprisingly, Shooter doesn’t discuss Mephisto’s apparent homosexual relationship with the now-male Death. I guess Mephisto hasn’t checked…
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The issue ends with the Beyonder trying to “forgot” this chapter in his experiences; if only the reader were so lucky. Besides featuring all of the cosmic–sorry–conceptual beings (along with an introduction to each), it’s the Beyonder plays superhero and turns it into a business. It’s all exceedingly lame, except at the end when the…
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I kind of remember this issue. It ends with the Marvel heroes beating up on a melancholy, downbeat Beyonder. He shuffles off while they bicker over what to do. One of the benefits to running a company and writing its big crossover is no one’s going to tell you you’re an idiot. Shooter’s got a…
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You know what’s worse than a Beyonder who’s an obnoxious pin hole in the night sky (see Secret Wars I issue number one through twelve)? A Beyonder who won’t shut the heck up. Shooter has decided, after four issues, the Beyonder is now going to be not just a blabbermouth, but one who knows everything…
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This issue the Beyonder takes over the world only to release it when he realizes how borrowing ruling the world can be. It’s like a sitcom. I can’t believe Shooter thought he was doing a reasonable job. Again Shooter does pace the comic really well–lots of time passes, lots of stuff happens–but the story itself…
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So, I guess in the Marvel style rules, no one gives the colorist a copy of the plot–at least not in the case of this issue, which has a bunch of action during the day and everyone talking about how it’s dark out and is the middle of the night. It’s like seeing a scene…
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Could Al Milgrom’s art be any more boring? Shooter fills the issue–I can’t believe it’s not double-sized given the amount of content–with a bunch of nonsense, but he’s at least competent at filling those pages, but Milgrom’s artwork’s beyond lame. He’s got all these different characters to draw and he does the most standard job…
The Stop Button 