Dan Dare (2007) #7

Dd7

I’m going to assume Dan Dare had a future-sword in the original comics or whatever, because otherwise, writer Garth Ennis has even more to answer for.

This final issue is oversized, which I’d been gleefully anticipating, but it turns out it’s too long. It’s fluffed up with lots of double-page spreads and it’s still too long. Worse, Ennis reuses entire bits from previous issues for that fluffing. The issue flops around quite a bit, with Ennis and artist Gary Erskine both at fault, but Ennis not having enough story is the real problem.

Erskine draws some repetitive space battle scenes—all the ships look alike, so while occasionally visually impressive, it’s not visually interesting. There are occasional fighter spaceship scenes, which end up being where Erskine comes through. It’s nice he’s got something he clicks with because—pretty much everything else—he doesn’t.

The issue’s split between Dan boarding the Mekon’s ship for the final showdown, which Erskine renders like Luke and the Emperor in Jedi because Ennis doesn’t give him anything else to do, Dan’s newest companion, Lieutenant Christian, commanding his flagship in the space battle, and Jocelyn back on Earth, getting drunk and waiting to hear whether humanity’s conquered.

The best subplot is Christian’s, which has her butting heads with an admiral who’s never been in a space battle but thinks he ought to be in command. The Dan plot, before it goes Jedi (without a Vader), is essentially a repeat of a couple issues ago, just with the same characters in different parts. Erskine utterly flubs the showdown between Dan and the Mekon, too, though—again—it’s not his fault Dan’s got a sword, and it’s not his fault Ennis doesn’t have a showdown.

Then Jocelyn’s whining is weird because it’s all about future history after the original Dan Dare and before this series when the newly formed British Neo-Nazis want his support with Brexit or something. It’s utterly superfluous world-building just when the comic’s closing up.

Ennis and Erskine still get in a few good scenes and moments, mainly when it’s a war comic, sometimes when it’s dealing with the “Dare as legend.” Most of the issue is just hoping it never gets too bad or too visually confusing. Erskine lacks continuity between panels, first occasionally, then all of them. It’s like the pages got lettered in the wrong order.

I’d forgotten how Dare ends—I do remember waiting forever for the final issue, which would’ve been one of Virgin Comics’s last publications—and I know why I’d much rather remember the series’s successes than its failures. It’s not a terrible last issue, but it’s not a good one, either.

Dan Dare (2007) #6

Dan Dare 6

As I feared, Gary Erskine continues to fall apart on the art this issue. As I assumed, it doesn’t really matter. Writer Garth Ennis is doing such a phenomenal job with the script, Erskine gets a pass. He’s got exceptional problems with depth—I don’t even know how to describe it but somehow, although Erskine’s figures are three-dimensional, they’re not three-dimensional in relation to one another. It’s actually disquieting, looking into Dan Dare’s now soulless eyes.

Which are better than busy eyes, which Erskine and colorist A. Thiruneelakandan give acting Prime Minister and former Dan Dare companion Jocelyn Peabody and then one of the admirals. Dan Dare: The Revival companion Christian escapes the busy eyes—you have to see them, it’s like the person’s supposed to be surprised, but Erskine draws it like they’re staring so hard their eyes are watering—but mostly because she’s not in the comic enough. And when she is in the comic, she’s background or conversation fodder. The aforementioned admiral talks smack about Dare putting her in charge.

Half the comic is resolving last issue’s cliffhanger—the Mekon’s got Dan and is going to torture him, then conquer Earth—then the other half is the final battle getting underway. Ennis works up a rather interesting juxtaposition for the two arch-enemies: they’re the only competent person on their respective side. Well, besides Christian and Peabody, but they’re just lassies, aren’t they? The Mekon’s army is at least genetically predisposed to being easily led (and distracted), while the British admiralty no longer trusts their sailors. Or whatever they’re called in space. Ennis gets in some good military culture digs.

There’s also a lot of sci-fi stuff as the humans figure out how the aliens have harassed a black hole and so on, along with some battle tactics. Ennis paces this issue beautifully; it feels double-sized, but it’s not. However, the next issue will be, and I imagine it’ll feel like at least three comics. Three great comics.

Can’t wait.

Dan Dare (2007) #5

Dan Dare 5

Writer Garth Ennis has a good issue with this Dan Dare, but artist Gary Erskine seems to be struggling to keep up. The issue downshifts the series a bit, with Dan and newly appointed companion Ms. Christian butting heads with the Royal Space Navy or whatever they’re called. Back on Earth, Home Secretary and former companion Jocelyn is getting a briefing. Lots of talking heads, which Ennis and Erskine have been executing successfully to this point. But, here, Erskine just seems to fall apart. He’s got the composition but not the pacing, and something’s off with his eyes, but only on the ladies (the Home Secretary and Ms. Christian), which is bad since they’re the protagonists.

There’s some awesome space stuff. Most of it’s too hurried, but Erskine does an excellent double-page spread of the Royal Space Navy. Cracking stuff. But even with Dan’s subplot, when he goes off on an ill-advised (by the stuffed shirt admirals, anyway) solo mission, Erskine gets in some okay (rushed) pages before he loses the thread again. The whole issue seems like it’s off-kilter like Erskine stumbled and never regained his footing. He cracks on with a confused but effective finish, but damn.

Otherwise, it’s an excellent issue. Ennis works character development on Jocelyn, Ms. Christian, and Dan before doing a military operation, but a Silver Age comic book’s military operation. It’s a bridging issue for everyone, even the Mekon and his lackey Prime Minister when we check in on them. Bridging issues tend to be a little redundant; done well, it’s character development (as here) in addition to efficient plotting. Ennis has two issues to go; presumably, all the pieces are set after this one.

I really hope Erskine turns it around on the art. I want Dare to be an unqualified success. Iffy art on a bridging issue is one thing; a flubbed finale is another.

Dan Dare (2007) #4

Dan Dare 4

I’ve never read any Dan Dare besides this series. I assume it’s some British Silver Age book about British derring-do in a sci-fi setting. So I don’t know if writer Garth Ennis is doing some homage with the pacing of this issue or just the plotting of the series in general.

Here’s what the first issue promised: retired space adventurer Dan Dare coming back to save the galaxy (colonized by the British, natch) from the Mekon, his old enemy (and presumably the main villain in the original Dare comics).

So far, the series has delivered: a traitor Prime Minister, Dare, and sidekick Digby stranded on a hostile alien world full of monsters. No galaxy saving from Dan, just people saving.

In this issue, Ennis reveals that anti-whatever plotting is intentional and will continue. He leans heavily on using talking heads scenes to fill in the backstory. The issue opens with the Prime Minister and the Mekon, who’s a silly-looking fifties alien but terrifying in his brevity. He seems to have some psychic control over a sizeable percentage of the population (both aliens and humans, including the PM), but it’s unclear. You wouldn’t want to ask him.

Ennis splits the issue between the Mekon, the Home Secretary on Earth, as she uncovers the plot to sell out humanity, and Dan on the alien planet with the monsters. Things are getting grim for Dan, which is precisely where they’re supposed to be but also not. The plan needs Dan to be somewhere else; no one could predict he’d try to save some dumbass colonists because they haven’t read the old Dan Dare either.

It’s a fantastic mix of wild sci-fi, political thriller, and British colonial action, with one heck of a tense finale. Ennis and artist Gary Erskine deliver a dynamite (no pun) close to the first (informal) arc. Presumably, the series will reset itself going forward, though I also have no idea because Ennis is very unpredictable here. Delightfully so.

Erskine seems rushed at times—though the incredibly boring alien ships don’t help; hopefully, it doesn’t trend. Dan’d survive it just fine (even rushed, Erskine’s solid), but still. He’s got some very enthusiastic panels; the more, the better.

Dare’s a damn fine book.

Dan Dare (2007) #3

Dan Dare 3

It’s an absurdly good issue, starting with Dan Dare having a showdown with the little shitheels currently calling themselves British officers. He and companion Digby are on a desert planet, trying to evacuate the civilians before they and the garrison have to shoot it out with literal monsters, and some officers are whining about their tours being over soon.

Ace start from writer Garth Ennis. The issue is a mix of talking heads and action, with some history lessons in between. As Dan and Digby walk the remaining colonists (including some of the Venusian Treen aliens) through the desert in hopes of a more defendable position, Dan gives the Dan Dare: The Original Series recap in a page or two. There aren’t any scenes, just a pin-up and great writing from Ennis, who gets to a sad and sweet finish with the scene touching on Dan’s failed romance with previous companion Jocelyn.

The action unexpectedly goes to Jocelyn back on Earth. Her boss, the Prime Minister, has sold out humanity to the enemy, only she doesn’t know it. She does find out, however, there’s something extraordinary going on, and she’s going to figure it out. Her scenes are entirely talking heads; giving an assignment, getting a report, making decisions, but it’s all incredibly tense because the reader knows she’s on the right track and she’s got to save the world–excellent, efficient plotting from Ennis. The series is so far along at this point; despite literally being a handful of conversations and an interrupted space voyage, I thought we were on issue four, not three.

Ennis toggles the tone again when the sci-fi military action starts. Dan gets the soldiers into an infantry square to protect the civilians, and even though they’re doing better than they thought, they don’t have an infinite ammo cheat code.

The cliffhanger’s nice and dry, nice and British—the first time I read Dan Dare, I’d never read any 2000 AD; now I have an Ennis and Gary Erskine’s format homage is cool. It’s good either way, but it’s cool to see what they’re doing and where they got it.

Dan Dare delivers. Erskine’s art is his series best this issue; he’s got the pacing for the talking heads, which usually aren’t in close-up, so there are just lots of panels of people walking and talking, and it’s captivating.

Damn good comics.

The Ramen Girl (2008, Robert Allan Ackerman)

There’s not much good to say about The Ramen Girl, except the Japanese cast does pretty well. They don’t get actual story arcs, and they’re only around to service the vanity of narcissist protagonist Brittany Murphy. But their acting is good, even though director Ackerman is terrible with their scenes too.

Murphy is a trust fund Barbie who runs off to Japan pursuing bro Gabriel Mann, who throws her aside after one night together. While Mann seems quite the villain, once the film gets into Murphy’s behaviors more, it plays just as likely she’s a stalker. Becca Topol’s script is godawful to be sure, but the film’s literally about Murphy not learning anything and being rewarded for it. So any time there’s a moment of character development or revelation, it’s simultaneously obviously accidental and also mildly interesting what it unintentionally explains about Murphy’s character (and the film’s mentalities).

After Mann runs out on her—leaving her with nothing but a sad pair of ex-pats (Daniel Evans and Tammy Blanchard)—Murphy finds her way to the neighborhood ramen shop and starts insinuating herself into the lives of the owners. Nishida Toshiyuki is the depressed, drunken chef, and Yo Kimiko is his tolerant wife. Murphy decides Nishida will teach her to be a ramen cook, which is a big deal for Nishida. He’s sad because his son didn’t want to be a ramen chef, making him feel less of a man than pseudo-competitor Ishibashi Renji. It doesn’t matter. It’s all background to Murphy being cloying and clingy. And bad. Her performance is atrocious. Again, Ackerman’s directing is awful throughout, but when it comes to directing Murphy, Ackerman manages to get worse and worse at it as the film progresses.

Maybe because her character arc is all being mad at Nishida for expecting her to understand Japanese. And if not Japanese, to understand the secret ramen chef camaraderie he’s convinced is a thing. More, he’s convinced Murphy is his heir apparent even if she doesn’t ever understand what he’s trying to tell her about it. At one point, she magically understands someone else’s Japanese. The magical realism aspects are Girl at its most inventive, so it’s too bad Ackerman entirely bungles them.

Technically, it’d be too nice to call it a mess. Ackerman’s composition is lousy, and he doesn’t seem to understand how DV works, which is fine since cinematographer Sakamoto Yoshitaka doesn’t know how to light it. Bad music from Carlo Siliotto and bad cutting from Rick Shaine lump things out.

It’s possible a better editor would’ve helped—better music definitely would’ve helped—but there’s only so much anyone could’ve done. Murphy’s performance and Ackerman’s direction are incompetent.

Though Blanchard’s also risible. Every time she shows up, it reminds Ramen Girl could be worse, actually. She could be in it more.

The only engaging aspect—besides the Japanese actors, who just get screwed over, so they’re a wasted investment—is trying to figure out if Murphy’s a narcissist, sociopath, or just a solipsist (doesn’t believe anyone exists outside her own mind).

Ackerman can’t even shoot the food. It’s ostensibly a cookery picture, and Ackerman can’t even shoot the food. Ramen Girl is less filling than a Cup o’ Noodles

Departures (2008, Takita Yôjirô)

Departures suffers for its DV photography. Suffers. Hamada Takeshi cannot figure out how to light for the video and, as a result, the film never looks good. Maybe if director Takita were somehow taking it into account, but no, Takita just pretends it doesn’t look like an ornate Hi8 camcorder production.

With some competent mise-en-scène, Departures might be able to get away with its other big problems. Though the score—composed by Joe Hisaishi—definitely part of the wanting audiovisual tone—would also need to upgrade. Otherwise it’s just a disaster third act and middling acting from its leads, sometimes due to the script, sometimes due to Takita not directing them, sometimes just the actors.

The film’s about failed cellist Motoki Masahiro returning to his hometown after his latest failure. Except Departures opens in a flash forward revealing the film’s actually going to be about Motoki becoming an encoffiner and the antics of the job. An encoffiner is a class of mortician who prepares the body to be placed in the coffin, including doing makeup, usually with the family watching. The film immediately establishes it’s a solemn, ritualistic, respectful ceremony.

And then veers into transphobia as a joke, though who knows how the scene would play if Motoki were capable of emoting. He’s capable of reflecting, with Takita setting up the object, event, or person for Motoki to respond to with reflection, but Motoki can’t reflect without stimulus.

Then the film flashes back to Motoki’s latest orchestra collapsing (he went with a bad one because he’s not very good) and him having to convince wife Hirosue Ryôko they should move to his hometown. There’s no subplot about returning to the hometown outside running into old friend Sugimoto Tetta, who’ll end up shunning him for being in the funeral trade, but Departures avoids a “returning home” plot for Motoki like the plague. Maybe it just cut. Like when he finds out coworker Yo Kimiko worked for Motoki’s mom for years before she died and he doesn’t tell her the connection. Motoki’s got no interest in the dead single mom who sacrificed all to raise him. He just obsesses on his dad leaving when he was five because dudes.

He’s going to have a terrible arc with Hirosue, who seems utterly personality-less (she just giggles for the first half of the movie), only to discover she’s actually got lots of thoughts she hasn’t been sharing because they’re have screwed up the narrative. Hirosue’s not good. She also doesn’t get a single good scene in the film. They cut away from potentially good scenes occasionally, but usually she doesn’t even have them set up. It’s mildly annoying.

The real star is Yamazaki Tsutomu, the encoffining boss, who hires Motoki for his initial gumption and is convinced Motoki will be great at the job for some reason. Also Motoki can’t remember what his dad looks like so is it impossible Yamazaki’s his dad? No, not impossible. It’s a mystery to be solved it turns out, because Koyama Kundô’s script goes for the predictable and obvious every single time. Sure, sometimes there’s a skipped scene to finish a character arc, but you can always guess what would’ve happened. I guess at least Departures isn’t patronizing… but it’s almost stranger it isn’t.

Yamazaki is great. Motoki is middling. Every time you want to cut Motoki some slack because the direction and photography is wanting… you realize Yamazaki is excelling under the same conditions.

Then there’s Hisaishi’s score, which you might think would leverage a lot of cello. Nope. Piano. Even during scenes where Motoki is playing the cello onscreen, eventually there’s some kind of non-diegetic accompaniment. It’s like… pick an instrument you at least want to have run the score. There’s no reason Motoki couldn’t have been a mediocre pianist. It also would’ve made for a more visually interesting scene with he sits alone outside playing to nature.

Departures is what happens when you don’t balance your character study right. And you don’t have the technicals down. And you don’t have the right leads.

But Yamazaki is outstanding and there are a bunch of great ideas. Just with a muddy result.

Doctor Who (2005) s04e13 – Journey’s End

Journey’s End opens with one of the series’s biggest cliffhanger cop-outs–and “Who” is all about the cliffhanger cop-out, so it’s actually a surprise. If the opening titles hadn’t already given it away, I guess.

This episode reveals the villains’ master plan and features them seemingly defeating Doctor David Tennant at every turn. If writer Russell T. Davies hadn’t introduced the deus ex machina early, there might be some tension about whether or not Tennant and company make it through. It’d just be so sad if he died now he’s reunited with Billie Piper.

Apparently it’s straight up they had a romantic—albeit unrequited—love, which isn’t how any of their episodes played especially not once she recruited ex-boyfriend Noel Clarke (who appears here) for the ride. But whatever. Make it all about giving Piper’s character a better ending.

Of course, Piper’s finale is nothing compared to Catherine Tate, who manages to get a more inglorious sendoff from the show than Christopher Eccleston—who just got forgotten like he’d done something wrong—harsh as his crime was not being David Tennant as Doctor Who, who himself wasn’t even David Tennant as Doctor Who yet.

Anyway.

No spoilers, but if you were intentionally writing “Doctor Who” to be full of layered misogyny, I don’t think it’d turn out any different than this episode turns out for Tate. It’s one hell of a flex from Davies.

The evil plan is kind of silly and better effects would help but not going to happen. What else… Camille Coduri is back too. She and Clarke team up with Elisabeth Sladen, which is closer to fun than you usually get with Coduri and Clarke.

It’s also one of those episodes where Tennant does his super-serious thing when he’s upset and it gets old really fast. And the way they end the season is just… unfortunate. It’s all really unfortunate.

Especially since Davies’s villains are better than they seemed last episode, occasionally even funny. More funny would’ve helped. More funny and a better subplot for Freema Agyeman, who manages to be a featured guest star but still get the shaft.

Because “Doctor Who” is about blowing off everyone but Piper, apparently, in a mad chase to bring her back to the show or something.

Whatever.

A friend of mine’s been worried I’m going to turn into one of those “Doctor Who” evangelizers who tells everyone to watch it.

I told him not to worry.

Doctor Who (2005) s04e12 – The Stolen Earth

I started The Stolen Earth with some reservations thanks to the previous episode—a de facto prologue—which managed to both waste and diss Catherine Tate simultaneously, but the first scene won me over a bit. It’s an exterior street scene with Tate and David Tennant and it’s actually shot well. There’s no telling how much better this show might be with better lighting from Ernest Vincze (in general, though this episode too).

Not to mention the CGI. There’s a lot of grand scale CGI this episode and… it’s not good. It’s not even on par with the non-CGI “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” which is a bummer. If “Who” were ever going to deliver on visuals, Stolen Earth would be the time to do it.

The episode kicks off the two-part (three-part including last episode, which should count but apparently doesn’t) season finale… it’s the end of the world. The end of all worlds.

Though we don’t see the all worlds, because Billie Piper’s already here on Earth and now it’s time for Tennant to find her and why isn’t he more excited (because it’s the end of the world, Donna).

Anyway.

Right after the opening scene—and the last good exterior lighting in the episode—the Earth disappears and the TARDIS stays in place. Cue opening credits, including the full “Doctor Who” revival cast (well, not Christopher Eccleston but whatever)—Freema Agyeman, John Barrowman, Elisabeth Sladen, and Billie Piper! In addition to Tate and Tennant, obviously. Written by revival creator and main writer Russell T. Davies!

The first half or so of the episode—which is really well-paced regardless of the questionable special effects–is the “Who” sidekicks trying to figure out what to do without the Doctor. Finally they all figure something out by working together—well, with the help of a special guest star, whose inclusion is nice but just points out how the show failed them (though failing your actors is the only singular thing about “Doctor Who: Phase II”)—and are able to get Tennant to Earth.

Tennant and Tate have been hanging out at the Shadow Proclamation, which isn’t a document but a (poorly CGI-rendered) place, where there are some aliens in charge and then the Rhino cops from last season. The Rhino cops are just comic relief then gone (they’re probably there for last episode’s teaser).

It’s time-killing with a lot more emphasis on the Earth sidekicks, with Piper sheltering with Tate’s family, Bernard Cribbins and Jacqueline King, and Agyeman reuniting with mum Adjoa Andoh (the other four people in the family are completely forgotten). Piper goes from being a badass interdimensional warrior last episode to mooning over absent Tennant, albeit with a giant gun (she looks like she’s walking around with a guitar).

Once the episode—just about halfway through, not even the cliffhanger—reveals the villains, things pick up a bit. Especially since Piper and Agyeman move on out of their respective shelters and the companion supporting cast energy drain goes away.

There are some predictable moments with the reuniting and the villains, with a bit of a cheap cliffhanger device too, but if you’re going to assemble a bunch of likable actors—almost Piper this time too—and have them dramatically goof off around sci-fi, you could do a whole lot worse than Stolen Earth.

Also, am I the only one who thinks “Torchwood” crossover guest star Gareth David-Lloyd looks like Zach Morris?

Doctor Who (2005) s04e11 – Turn Left

Welp, figured out what Catherine Tate was doing while last episode filmed and David Tennant was on his own… she was filming this episode, with Tennant now the Superman III Margot Kidder.

Tate goes to a fortune teller (Chipo Chung, in a particularly inglorious return to the show after she was a major supporting character last season, albeit in full costume) who tricks her into never meeting the Doctor in the first place—two Christmas specials ago—and thereby changing the fate of the universe itself.

So what we get—in addition to this alternate history to the show’s timeline, where London becomes Nazi Germany before a further dystopian thing and it gets so bad even White British people become refugees—is Tate being really kind of annoying. Not good. Very weak character. Turns out if she didn’t meet Tennant, she would’ve gotten more and more shallow and more and more ignorant of current events—be they aliens or concentration camps—and just miserable to be around.

Though she does eventually patch things up a bit with mum Jacqueline King, who’s not good in a more dramatic role. Makes you wonder what the auditions are like for the companion’s mom part—“we want you to be unlikable no matter what the context.” Bernard Cribbins is fine but he’s no longer cute as Tate’s grandfather. He’s one note. Having your granddaughter go off and save the universe while traveling through space and time didn’t make Cribbins or King any more interesting, apparently.

Or Russell T. Davies just writes thin characters and they cast people who can’t add enough.

I haven’t even gotten to the big deal of the episode: Billie Piper is back. She’s back across dimensions not telling anyone her name so there’s not a dimensional collapse or whatever and she’s trying to convince Tate to help her save the universe.

I mean, I guess the episode’s well-paced? Like, there’s a lot. When Tennant gets back from Bermuda or whatever, he’s got a bit of time so they can set up the next episode. See, Tate’s got a message from Piper and it’s the end of the world and time for a “Doctor Who” crossover event (based on the upcoming episode teaser). Though presumably not across multiple shows.

Also, Tennant also realizes Tate’s subplots are all about alternate universes so he thinks it might be important, which is of course different than a lazy, reliable way to gin up an episode, give your lead an alternate life to play.

Anyway.

Two more episodes to the season, I’ll bet it’s a “two-parter,” as Turn Left doesn’t count enough to be a proper first part apparently.

Piper’s better than I remember her, though she also doesn’t have the entourage. We shall see.