Doctor Who (2005) s13e00 – Revolution of the Daleks

Twelve seasons into this “Doctor Who” relaunch… the special effects are finally impressive. Like the full CG shots in space. Back when it started, they didn’t even try, then they got lousy CG, then it got a little better over the years but never looks, you know, better than a CW show.

But here, there’s finally a great CG space shot. The special effects are fine the rest of it, but not actually great. Not wow, but fine.

It’s like a fifteen second scene.

Anyway.

This New Year’s Day special opens with a destroyed Dalek getting nicked—so epilogue to the previous New Year’s Day special, in 2019. As the action jumps ahead to returning guest star Chris Noth (who’s playing this charmless, weasely Trump-ish American businessman caricature and it’s frankly tiring) and new guest star Harriet Walter (a corrupt British MP) cooking up a scheme to unleash a Dalek army on Antifa.

Writer Chris Chibnall certainly seems to have seen some Robocop movies.

Finally we catch up to the previous season’s cliffhanger, which has Doctor Jodie Whittaker locked up in a space prison. There she counts the days, says hello to the security cameras, and tries to banter with her fellow inmates. It’s a bunch of the usual suspects from previous seasons, which is relatively fun, especially since the other plot seems to be the British government unleashing ED-209s on, you know, protestors.

Once Whittaker’s situation is established, the special brings back the rest of the regular cast—Mandip Gill, Tosin Cole, Bradley Walsh. Whittaker sent them back to Earth ten months ago and disappeared. Cole and Walsh are getting on with their lives, Gill is obsessively trying to find Whittaker.

Apparently Covid does not happen in the “Doctor Who” timeline, but then again I actually wondered if the show will ever acknowledge the special’s eventual Dalek invasion of Earth or if everyone will magically forget it by next episode.

Team Doctor—minus Whittaker—find out about Noth’s new Dalek project and go to confront him, only to realize they aren’t time traveling nearly immortal adventurers with working time machines so they can’t really do much to stop Noth. Or to save Whittaker (or find her, they don’t know she’s in space jail).

Luckily, Whittaker knows someone who is a time traveling nearly immortal adventurer with a working time machine–returning co-star John Barrowman, who popped up last season to let everyone know he’d be back for a more substantive appearance.

There are a lot of team-ups, a lot of Daleks, a lot of Terminator and Matrix “nods” (rips, nods, potato, potatoe), a lot of character development for the regulars—including Whittaker, so it’ll be interesting to see how long it lasts—some great Barrowman moments, and the setup for the next season.

It’s a pretty successful special overall, notwithstanding Noth’s bizarre decision not to be charming for the first time in his career, some rushed moments, and not enough Walsh. Good work from the regulars, especially Gill (who’s great with Barrowman) and Cole. Walsh has got his moments, he’s just not in it enough. Also—not enough Barrowman and Whittaker together. It seems like there’s going to be more, then it’s already time for the epilogues.

But, again, a successful outing. Especially for the regular cast, who get to do some actual character development.

Doctor Who (2005) s04e12 – The Stolen Earth

I started The Stolen Earth with some reservations thanks to the previous episode—a de facto prologue—which managed to both waste and diss Catherine Tate simultaneously, but the first scene won me over a bit. It’s an exterior street scene with Tate and David Tennant and it’s actually shot well. There’s no telling how much better this show might be with better lighting from Ernest Vincze (in general, though this episode too).

Not to mention the CGI. There’s a lot of grand scale CGI this episode and… it’s not good. It’s not even on par with the non-CGI “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” which is a bummer. If “Who” were ever going to deliver on visuals, Stolen Earth would be the time to do it.

The episode kicks off the two-part (three-part including last episode, which should count but apparently doesn’t) season finale… it’s the end of the world. The end of all worlds.

Though we don’t see the all worlds, because Billie Piper’s already here on Earth and now it’s time for Tennant to find her and why isn’t he more excited (because it’s the end of the world, Donna).

Anyway.

Right after the opening scene—and the last good exterior lighting in the episode—the Earth disappears and the TARDIS stays in place. Cue opening credits, including the full “Doctor Who” revival cast (well, not Christopher Eccleston but whatever)—Freema Agyeman, John Barrowman, Elisabeth Sladen, and Billie Piper! In addition to Tate and Tennant, obviously. Written by revival creator and main writer Russell T. Davies!

The first half or so of the episode—which is really well-paced regardless of the questionable special effects–is the “Who” sidekicks trying to figure out what to do without the Doctor. Finally they all figure something out by working together—well, with the help of a special guest star, whose inclusion is nice but just points out how the show failed them (though failing your actors is the only singular thing about “Doctor Who: Phase II”)—and are able to get Tennant to Earth.

Tennant and Tate have been hanging out at the Shadow Proclamation, which isn’t a document but a (poorly CGI-rendered) place, where there are some aliens in charge and then the Rhino cops from last season. The Rhino cops are just comic relief then gone (they’re probably there for last episode’s teaser).

It’s time-killing with a lot more emphasis on the Earth sidekicks, with Piper sheltering with Tate’s family, Bernard Cribbins and Jacqueline King, and Agyeman reuniting with mum Adjoa Andoh (the other four people in the family are completely forgotten). Piper goes from being a badass interdimensional warrior last episode to mooning over absent Tennant, albeit with a giant gun (she looks like she’s walking around with a guitar).

Once the episode—just about halfway through, not even the cliffhanger—reveals the villains, things pick up a bit. Especially since Piper and Agyeman move on out of their respective shelters and the companion supporting cast energy drain goes away.

There are some predictable moments with the reuniting and the villains, with a bit of a cheap cliffhanger device too, but if you’re going to assemble a bunch of likable actors—almost Piper this time too—and have them dramatically goof off around sci-fi, you could do a whole lot worse than Stolen Earth.

Also, am I the only one who thinks “Torchwood” crossover guest star Gareth David-Lloyd looks like Zach Morris?

Doctor Who (2005) s03e13 – Last of the Time Lords

So, when I started watching “Doctor Who,” I didn’t have any idea the title is a joke. Or can be a joke. Even though I’ve known about the show most of my life… didn’t realize it.

Now, is the “Time Lord” thing… is the “Lord” part really important? I don’t think I’ve ever seen heavy Christ symbolism in a British production before—Life of Brian aside—and it’s really weird to see. It’s also bad because it invalidates the very idea of Freema Agyeman getting anything to do with the show.

Given John Simm at one point mocks her for not being Billie Piper to her face… you’d think she’d get to something more than just blow smoke up David Tennant’s derrière. But no, it turns out smoke blowing is Agyeman’s whole job. What’s the point of having a stronger character and a better performance if the show’s going to shaft you even more than it shafted your predecessor. But with an added, frequently iffy racial element.

Tennant does end up having a good moment in the episode, as he gets yet another showdown with Simm—I don’t even remember if it’s the final showdown—the episode’s got a lot of action and a lot of running and a lot of walking and a lot of showdowns.

And farewells. And surprises. It’s never anywhere near as cute as it ought to be. Tennant, despite that one good moment—and not counting when he’s only doing a voice performance—doesn’t really get much to do in the big season finale. Agyeman gets less, but she got more throughout the season. Sometimes. Even with her part so decimated, when the episode ends with Tennant in the same spot as last season… they should’ve just had him waking up and taking a shower. At least show what the TARDIS living quarters look like.

And Agyeman’s send-off is awkwarder than it ought to be. Especially considering how strong she started. It all feels like a defeat.

Doctor Who (2005) s03e12 – The Sound of Drums

It’s still got Russell T. Davies but there’s a director change since last episode. Now it’s Colin Teague, which turns out fine because Teague’s the best director they’ve had all season except maybe Hettie Macdonald. But as far as doing straightforward “Doctor Who” successfully—especially since it’s a modern day episode—Teague excels.

Though not even Teague can handle the rough opening, which has David Tennant, Freema Agyeman, and John Barrowman getting out of last episode’s big deal cliffhanger with absolutely no difficulty because sonic screwdriver.

And then we get a really fast information dump catching the viewer up on what the characters are quickly realizing—all season has been just four days in Agyeman’s regular timeline, culminating in an election of a new prime minister (John Simm), who has quite the history and bone to pick with Tennant. More, everything conspiring against Tennant and Agyeman has been for this Simm related plot. It even gives a way to redeem Agyeman’s duplicitous mom, Adjoa Andoh, while again using sister Gugu Mbatha-Raw as a damsel in distress. Only this time she doesn’t get to be second sidekick, she’s just… damsel in distress.

Because there’s a real danger—Simm—who’s got everyone in his reach and has no qualms about getting rid of his enemies. He even gets back up from his wife, Alexandra Moen, who seems reservedly horrified at his behavior. But Simm’s got all the power.

Moen’s good. It’s a weird, quiet part, but she’s good.

And Simm’s great. Especially once his master plan—getting to do a first contact meeting with some aliens, bringing new glory to the United Kingdom—is in full motion. Because there’s something off about those aliens, which are little flying globes—Tennant’s never even heard of them, which is impossible.

Colin Stinton plays the U.S. president, who doesn’t want the British getting all the history glory. Stinton’s not a good stunt cast. It’s a miss.

But everything else is a hit. Until the last act when it seems like a kids’ TV show as Simm rules from on high in his SHIELD helicarrier, which is a particularly silly turn but whatever.

The last act gets silly, but the character drama for Agyeman in particular… it’s good.

Doctor Who (2005) s03e11 – Utopia

So I very awkwardly noticed the female producer who did a couple episodes of “Who” is gone, with Phil Collinson back. It was an awkward notice because she was actually gone last episode. She just did the two-parter with the pre-WWI love story.

This episode is Russell T. Davies writing and it’s the start of the season finale so it’s very clearly the return to old time new “Doctor Who.” I never thought I’d be so happy to see Davies’s name on the writing credit but it’s nice he’s handling it.

We open in Cardiff, with the Doctor (David Tennant) gassing up the TARDIS on the energy rift and telling latest lovesick sidekick Freema Agyeman all about it while making the now uncommon season one references. And then John Barrowman reappears—also last seen in season one—and runs and jumps on the departing TARDIS.

Said TARDIS then loses control and goes to the end of the universe. The stars are winking out, it’s really the end this time. But the final remnants of the human race are trying their best to survive, getting scientifically-minded but not formally educated Derek Jacobi to build them a rocket.

As a teen, I didn’t like Derek Jacobi for some reason and it took me a while to change my mind. But I can’t—based on the IMDb—figure out why. I thought about that history a lot during the episode, which has Jacobi finding a kindred spirit in Tennant, who agrees to help complete the rocket to Utopia. In a hurry too, because the Road Warrior cannibals are at the gates, clamoring to get in.

It’s really nice having Barrowman back. He’s his same flirtatious self, though he’s got a secret. It’s a weird secret—portentous maybe—but it doesn’t matter. Especially if you’ve been watching the “Torchwood” spin-off series, I’ll bet, where Barrowman found a regular gig.

Once they’re helping with the rocket it’s all just a countdown to see what’s going on with Jacobi, who stares longingly at the TARDIS and ignores his female devotee (Chipo Chung, who’s great as an humanoid insect). Hint hint.

The cliffhanger’s not particularly enthralling and the final surprise mugs a little too much but… I guess the episode itself plays all right. Lots of running though.

Lots of running.

Doctor Who (2005) s01e13 – The Parting of the Ways

This episode just ought to be called Deusest Ex Machina because it turns out everything this season has been building towards is a giant reset for the series. Which does make sense, given the Doctor gets reborn whenever they recast, but it completely dismisses the idea of Christopher Eccleston having a significant role. It invalidates him over and over, even before the angel saves the day; in other words, if you’re okay with this Parting of the Ways nonsense and you gripe about “Battlestar”’s finish… you’re lying.

Worse, Noel Clarke and Camille Coduri are back. There’s an awkward conversation between Rose Piper and Coduri about the father’s death because Coduri doesn’t remember meeting her daughter in the past because… “Doctor Who”’s time travel logic is utter nonsense.

Shouldn’t matter, obviously, and if it weren’t just more awkward badness from Coduri and Piper it’d be fine.

See, once Eccleston resolves the previous episode’s cliffhanger in the cold open (or close to it), he sends Piper to the past so she’ll be safe from the alien invasion. Eccleston and John Barrowman have to try to save the day, which gets less and less likely as they fend off alien invaders. There’s some really weird stuff, like Barrowman apparently lying to a bunch of volunteers about how to fight the aliens. Then again there’s also the “Bad Wolf” resolve and it’s really, really bad. It’d be even worse if it wasn’t what drags Piper away from Clarke, who’s trying to wiggle his way back in when she thinks she doesn’t get to be a time traveller anymore.

There’s a little bit more with Jo Joyner as Eccleston’s lady friend of the week and Nisha Nayer and Jo Stone-Fewings have more to do as future humans. They’re all right. I mean, Joyner’s great, the others are all right.

It’s a Joe Ahearne directed episode so it could be a lot worse. And the vast bad CGI shots are… fine. I guess. They’re proofs of concept.

Russell T. Davies’s script has to do a whole bunch—send off Eccleston and resurrect the character, resolve the “Bad Wolf” thing, deal with the alien invasion, deal with the Piper arc. It’s a lousy send-off for Eccleston. Inglorious to the extremest.

It’s probably an impossible group of things to make run well but… Davies still manages to fumble it.

I wonder what next season’ll be like.

Doctor Who (2005) s01e12 – Bad Wolf

At least it’s got Joe Ahearne directing. I mean, it’s not terrible. Guest star Jo Joyner is a nice “romantic” interest for Christopher Eccleston, which is this standard thing where Eccleston and Rose Piper go to some time period and don’t spend any time together and Eccleston has this chaste but sincere connection with some lady. In this episode, they’re split by reality television and Joyner’s in Eccleston’s “Big Brother” house.

The episode opens with a flashback to the Simon Pegg episode and that White kid Piper replaced her brown boyfriend-in-name-only with for two episodes—and I spent the thirty seconds terrified White guy would be back.

He’s not. It’s a setup to this game show future—Eccleston, Piper, and John Barrowman all wake up in game shows not understanding what’s going on. Though Eccleston’s got a watch telling him what time he’s in and he doesn’t check it until after he’s been there for a while, because it turns out they’re in the Simon Pegg future, just later on.

Eccleston’s on “Big Brother,” where you get vaporized if you get thrown out, Piper’s on “Weakest Link,” where losing contestants get vaporized, and Barrowman is on an extreme makeover show with horny robots. Turns out whatever Eccleston and Piper did in the Pegg episode somehow made the future worse.

The episode’s Eccleston, Piper, and Barrowman all contending with their shows’ dangers—Piper’s got to contend with playing to win competitor Paterson Joseph, Eccleston’s got to escape (with housemate Joyner), and Barrowman’s got to… keep his head. Literally. Extreme makeover.

It’s all fairly compelling, though future humans Jo Stone-Fewings and Nisha Nayar go from unlikable “just following orders” characters—Eccleston’s got a great response to that line—to sympathetic a little fast.

There’s a big finale reveal—though not too big of a reveal because it was in the previous episode’s “Next Episode” teaser—also the “Bad Wolf” thing gets a lot more play again. The future TV company brainwashing the planet Earth is called “Badwolf.”

The cliffhanger’s rather effective, giving Eccleston a nicer “star” moment than he usually gets.

Doctor Who (2005) s01e11 – Boom Town

This episode is easily writer Russell T. Davies’s best so far. Maybe it helps he’s got Joe Ahearne directing, who’s even able to weather the Noel Clarke storm.

Though it’s a new Noel Clarke. A moody one who’s not hanging on Billie Piper’s every word hoping for a kiss. In fact, they suggest a physical intimacy foreign to their relationship.

But it’s not about Clarke and Piper, it’s about surviving Raxacoricofallapatorian villain (Annette Badland) from a two-parter about five episodes ago. Badland survived Christopher Eccleston taking out her fellow villains and set herself up as Cardiff mayor. Cardiff, once again getting crap from the show….

Anyway, she’s trying to get a nuclear power plant built for some reason and local reporter Mali Harries is suspicious. Well, more Harries notices anyone who opposes Badland ends up decapitated. Because Badland’s still doing her giant baby doll head alien monster eating the human thing. Cardiff’s not super busy apparently.

Eccleston, Piper, and John Barrowman are in town to “gas up” on Cardiff’s inter-dimensional rift (discovered in another episode this season) and Piper calls Clarke, then Eccleston notices Badland in a local paper and tracks her down. So it goes from a very odd—Clarke’s dynamic with Eccleston and Piper plus Barrowman—vacation day in Cardiff to something of a psychological showdown between Eccleston and Badland. Because long portions of the episode are the two facing off about morality and whatnot.

Badland was a farty joke in the previous episodes, so it’s a big surprise she’s absolutely phenomenal this time. There aren’t as many fart jokes this episode—there might not even be any (there are a few gassy jokes). But Badland’s awesome. Makes the episode.

Meanwhile, Clarke’s pissy about being Piper’s booty call or something.

Eccleston and Piper also discover the words “Bad Wolf” have been following them through the season, which is some hammer to the skull foreshadowing.

The ending’s a little too deus ex machina but it’s also at least thoughtfully resolved. And the show promises, once again, Clarke is gone for good this time. I’d say good riddance but I don’t believe he won’t be back next episode.

Doctor Who (2005) s01e10 – The Doctor Dances

It’s a disappointing conclusion. It’s not a bad episode, but it’s a fairly obvious, kind of silly finish to the much stronger first episode. Partially because the show never really finds its footing with Christopher Eccleston and John Barrowman, who are now in a pissing contest for a number of things but also for Billie Piper’s attention. The show really leans on the idea Piper and Eccleston have some palatable chemistry and… they don’t.

Meanwhile there’s a little bit of Bi-shaming from Piper, which is a little less than when sweet teen samaritan Florence Hoath blackmailing a gay guy who’s in the closet. It’s… an odd scene and writer Steven Moffat doesn’t make it work.

There’s also a big reveal at the end, in the middle of the big reveal involving the gas mask people. It’s fairly cheap stuff, just letting Moffat and the show get away with some loose writing. The episode’s got a decent budget for a “Who” so it’s not like they ran out of money on the way to a better conclusion… Moffat just doesn’t have a very good conclusion to his story.

It messes up Hoath quite a bit, taking her from a potential Doctor protege to an eye roll of deus ex machina. Eccleston gets some more special powers during the deus ex so it’s an even cleaner finish.

Barrowman’s got a nice arc in the conclusion, with an excellent wrap-up, even if it again relies on Piper and Eccleston’s pseudo-chemistry.

There are some decent action sequences—Eccleston, Piper, and Barrowman on the run from the gas mask monsters—and James Hawes’s direction is fine. It just doesn’t pay off with anything.

Except introducing Barrowman, which is a nice surprise. The show hasn’t been able to sustain a two-episode guest star who didn’t fail yet. Though it’s a two-parter so Barrowman did have some help I suppose.

Doctor Who (2005) s01e09 – The Empty Child

It’s a really creepy episode. Like, really creepy. Writer Steven Moffat comes up with a fantastic “villain,” this little kid in a gas mask who calls out, “Mummy,” over and over again. And then when he touches you, you get infected with something and eventually turn into a gas mask covered person.

Now, the gas mask is part of the new creatures’ structure. It’s creepy.

The setting is WWII London. The Blitz, which takes Christopher Eccleston longer to figure out than it took me to figure out. How did he not… grok it? Especially since the TARDIS can tell its location in space and time… can’t it? It’s like the show is anti-continuity.

Eccleston and Billie Piper are in town trying to help a crashed rocket in distress or something. While Eccleston is trying to find the rocket, Piper runs off after the creepy little gas mask kid and finds herself on a balloon in the middle of a Luftwaffe raid.

The CGI raid is… not amazing.

Luckily, time traveling scoundrel and dreamboat John Barrowman saves Piper and the two start doing some kind of pre-canoodling while Eccleston is hanging out with teen Florence Hoath. She’s carrying for all the homeless kids during the Blitz, sneaking into houses and getting them food and so on. She’s also got the answers about where the rocket landed.

But then so does Barrowman—he’s going to sell its location to Eccleston and Piper because he thinks they’re “Time Agents” and have money.

Lots of terrifying kids in danger sequences—both in danger in the Blitz (Eccleston remembers real quick because he’s surprised they haven’t been rescued or something) and then in danger from the little monster gas mask kid. Hoath’a really good.

The ending is really good. It’s a really good episode.

There’s a whole bunch of self-anglophila in the episode, an almost overbearing amount, and then some forced “Star Trek” references but they’re little bumps. Barrowman and Piper are great together, Eccleston’s excellent with Hoath and that subplot.

Even if there’s no consistency with the tech.