The Ultimates (2002) #13

U13

So all Millar needs is a double issue and he’ll take time?

Well, he doesn’t exactly take time. He writes an epilogue… lots of epilogues.

It’s a decent issue, a good popcorn read… though, wouldn’t eating popcorn while reading a comic book get your fingers greasy and damage the comic, reducing the value.

The positives come from the characters; again, Captain America doesn’t qualify yet and the Wasp does a turnaround on him and the end suggests some nooky (I guess he doesn’t know she’s a mutant yet… again, the hospital didn’t notice the little eggs?), so maybe next series he’ll have a character.

Great stuff with Thor and Iron Man, at least during the battle scene. However, Tony hitting on Laura Bush is, not surprisingly, weak. Millar really forces his “real world” humor and it almost always fails.

The Hulk saving the day, while neat, is way too easy.

The Ultimates (2002) #12

U12

And Millar brings it around… relatively. It’s a big huge fight scene with the fate of the solar system in the balance so maybe he gets some easy melodramatic points (he sure doesn’t score anything with the Captain America versus Nazi Skrull punch-out, not until the whole “A for America” thing, which doesn’t really sit well figuring Captain America’s from the 1940s and not a Neo-Con, but whatever… no one ever said Millar thought before he wrote).

The best moments of the comic–when the soldiers mock Iron Man’s sacrifice, for example–are sometimes quiet, sometimes loud. Thor, again, has the best lines in the comic. Millar never doing an Ultimate Thor series is his undoing, creatively speaking. For whatever reason, he writes him leagues better than anyone else.

I’m having some trouble with Captain America as a brilliant strategist too… shouldn’t have he won WWII earlier then?

The Ultimates (2002) #11

U11

Oh, good grief….

Have you seen Independence Day? Or any of the millions of Body Snatchers type movies?

Millar has.

I know I’m reading way too much into The Ultimates, but come on… Millar’s got thirteen issues and he doesn’t do anything with this one. Seriously, I don’t think Marvel can say anything bad about Jim Shooter, because Millar’s not much different (I do absolutely love how they’re Skrulls though, which means all Bendis did was recycle Ultimates for Secret Invasion). There’s nary an honest moment to be seen in this issue.

The end, the rallying speech from Captain America, is about as well written as Bill Pullman’s Independence Day rallying speech.

I think some of my… hostility comes from Ultimates being a decent concept–at least as far as an Ultimate Universe team book goes–and Millar faking “real world” with soap opera histrionics and mean-spiritedness.

Two left.

The Ultimates (2002) #10

U10

Sigh. An all-action issue. Not even an action-packed all-action issue. It’s a non-action-packed all-action double cross issue.

The Wasp’s twenty-six? Really? She’d have been nine when St. Elmo’s Fire came out, which makes it an awkward pop culture reference. It’s funny, but it doesn’t hold up to any thought whatsoever. Oh, wait, I just summed up the series.

The big shocker at the end of the issue is the Nazi villain Captain America used to fight is back. It’s weird how Millar doesn’t really give Captain America a character here, he just lets him be defined by his actions, never really having any thoughts.

Lots of vehicles for Hitch to draw this time. I think he digs drawing vehicles. It’s a decent scene, the sky full of S.H.I.E.L.D. ships. I don’t know… I can’t get excited at this point.

Nice Thor moments though.

The Ultimates (2002) #9

When did the Soviet Union fall?

Let’s check wikipedia. Ah, 1991.

So Hawkeye has been in S.H.I.E.L.D. for over eleven years, putting him in his thirties somewhere, I assume. Shame Hitch draws him in his mid-twenties.

Actually, if it hadn’t been for that last line about the Soviet Union, I was going to open with how unpleasant it is to read Hawkeye in Ultimates, since (I think) he just ends up getting tortured and killed anyway.

I don’t know what happens this issue. They get ready to go attack the aliens, Captain America strikes out with Janet. Oh, the fight. Captain America versus Giant Man. Once it becomes clear Captain America’s going to kick ass, the fight’s over. Boring.

Millar’s playful approach to Tony’s alcoholism is cute. It’s funny how that problem’s a joke, but spousal abuse isn’t (if Millar was really thinking, he’d have Janet beat up Hank).

The Ultimates (2002) #8

See, if you make the Nazis aliens… you can sell your comic books easier to Germans….

Millar’s “Secret Invasion” thing here–shocking he didn’t get mad at Bendis, also shocking there’s a big rip-off of a Men in Black moment–is a huge cop-out as far as real problems go. It’s sensational and bombastic, but it also gives the Ultimates an enemy who can be killed in hugely cinematic ways–just like The Matrix, which is another reference for the issue.

Sure, Millar takes the time to have Tony Stark “freak out” about alien invasions, but Hitch’s art’s static in the one panel with Stark freaking so it comes off as sarcastic instead of emotional.

The issue ends with Captain America getting ready to beat the crap out of Hank Pym, which may or may not just be Millar lifting the Jesse vs. Cassidy conflict from Preacher.

Eh.

The Ultimates (2002) #7

Maybe they just enlarge Hitch’s artwork. His full page close-up of Captain America, out of uniform, to close the issue is just as lacking in detail as his other Captain America full pages. It’s really awkward. He doesn’t go light on any other character….

This issue’s half terrible and half mediocre. Millar’s treatise on spousal abuse is less insightful than a commercial for a Dr. Phil special and about thirty times more exploitative. I’m sure he patted himself on the back through the whole thing, but it’s really cheap.

The other half of the issue, with the reader finding out Nick Fury’s got a whole other team of Ultimates–the black ops team, who do the important jobs (where were they during the Hulk attacking Manhattan)–is fine enough. It’s silly and forced, but so’s the comic in general.

And wouldn’t the hospital have discovered Janet is a mutant?

The Ultimates (2002) #6

Another all action issue. Sort of. There’s the dinner party with Captain America, Thor and Iron Man–lots of awkward close-ups here… Millar’s obviously trying for a movie feel, but it’s like Hitch doesn’t know how to frame for those kinds of panels. There’s also the whole Hank versus Janet thing going on.

It’s a really problematic issue because there’s the cool stuff–not gay Jarvis trying to cruise Captain America–but the little stuff, like the boys enjoying a joke. It’s believable, following a somewhat tense situation.

The Janet and Hank stuff… well… I guess it’s cool when he talks about her mutation involving her laying eggs six days a week. I mean, it’s a gross detail but an effective, imaginative one. I don’t think they push Ultimate mutations so much in Ultimate X-Men. But otherwise it’s a sensational, cruelly-minded attempt at showing an abusive marriage.

The Ultimates (2002) #5

For an all action issue, it’s decent. It’s very cinematic in a boring, expository way (Grand Central’s cleared so they fight there, how convenient), but Millar does occasionally get in some good moments. I remember when Brubaker took over Captain America and talked about the character as an FDR democrat, full of idealism. Millar writes him like a cruel thug, something out of The Green Berets. It’s interesting, I guess, but it doesn’t really make him a rallying point.

Thor’s barely a cameo; good for a joke about Dubya. I hope Millar stops with that avenue of humor soon… it’s cover for not really having any real content.

Hitch’s art’s better here. If not better, I like it more than usual.

The Hulk sums up what I don’t like about Millar’s approach. He dismisses the character having any potential for future stories to make a big splash with this one.

The Ultimates (2002) #4

It’s the outfit. Hitch can’t draw the Captain America outfit. All his detail goes out the window and it looks like something off a TV shirt or an action figure package. Some of it could be Currie’s inking, but I doubt it.

This issue, again, is strong. It’s like Millar can’t do strong issues twice in a row. The Ultimates is like the even numbered Star Trek movies, stronger than the odd numbered ones… This one has the first appearance from Thor, which is awesome–Ultimate Thor is probably my favorite Ultimate character because Millar gets how to make him work “real world.”

There’s also the Bruce Banner Hulk out sequence, which is all right. What’s strange about Ultimate Hulk is how he’s completely lame. Banner’s not even an interesting character, he’s like a low grade villain. I think Millar thinks he’s doing something special with him, but he’s not.