Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits Special (May 2017)

Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits SpecialGiven “The Banana Splits” were a thing in the late sixties, some dated references in Suicide Squad/The Banana Splits Special might make sense. But writer Tony Bedard doesn’t go for sixties or seventies jokes; instead, it’s mid-nineties racial jokes. The Banana Splits reinventing themselves gangsta rap is far less problematic than when the cops are shooting at them because cops don’t care about “Animal Americans.” The editors of the book, who work on the far better Hanna-Barbera books, clearly don’t bring anything to those better books if they let that kind of crud through. Otherwise, it’s lame with mild amusements. Harley Quinn and the Elephant are cute. Ditto Killer Croc and the monkey (almost). Ben Caldwell and Mark Morales’s art is fine, but it’s not like it needs to do much.

However, Mark Russell and Howard Porter’s Snagglepuss backup is awesome. It starts with him telling the HUAC a thing or two, then moves into an inspiration, if sad, lesson for a young writer. It’s awesome. And Porter’s got fantastic detail on anthropomorphized animals. Who knew.

CREDITS

Suicide Splits (Hey, it beats “Banana Squad”); writer, Tony Bedard; penciller, Ben Caldwell; inker, Mark Morales; colorist, Jeremy Lawson; letterers, Troy Peteri and Dave Lanphear. House Fires; writer, Mark Russell; artist, Howard Porter; colorist, Steve Buccellato; letterer, Dave Sharpe. Editors, Brittany Holzherr and Marie Javins; publisher, DC Comics.

Suicide Squad (2016, David Ayer)

Suicide Squad is a terrible film. It’s poorly directed, it’s poorly written, it’s poorly acted (some of the bad acting is the fault of the script, which doesn’t have a good moment in it, some of it’s just the actors), it’s terribly photographed, edited, it’s got lousy special effects, it’s this kind of bad, it’s that kind of bad.

Suicide Squad is the pits of mainstream motion pictures–though, you take a movie about a bunch of comic book supervillains and give them lame, pseudo-edgy back stories, and try to entertain the eight year old boys seeing it, with director Ayer and his risibly inept crew, what else could it be? From the first few minutes–outside a couple decent flashback sets (not shots, not scenes, just the sets)–it’s clear the film’s terrible. Once it’s clear Viola Davis is going to have a terribly written role and be terrible in it–you can see the pain of accepting the role in her eyes–there’s nothing to look forward to in the film.

Almost every performance is either bad or awful. Scott Eastwood has about four lines and is background scenery the rest of the time, but he’s far better than most of the other actors. Cara Delevingne is easily the worst performance in the film, followed by Joel Kinnaman as her love interest and the guy who bosses all the supervillains on their lame mission (Ayer’s script is crap at exposition, it’s crap at character development, it’s crap at plotting).

You know, let’s go through the performances bad to best. I might be able to handle that approach, because otherwise the reaction to Suicide Squad is to never want to see another film again. It’s such a disservice to the medium.

Worst is actually Jared Leto, not Delevingne. Delevingne’s awful, but Leto’s far worse. His Joker isn’t crazy, just a blinged-out crime lord who doesn’t so much commit crime as fetishize committing crime. In clubs. Where girlfriend Margot Robbie pole dances. She used to be his psychiatrist. Robbie seems way too young to have gone from clinical psychologist to deranged “queen of crime,” but there are far more obviously deficiencies as far as her character goes. Director Ayer relishes objectifying her; along with the casual violent misogyny and occasional but consistent racist jokes, Robbie betrays Ayer’s target audience: immature male viewers stupid enough to think his movie is cool. Because Suicide Squad isn’t even chilly. Not at its most outlandish moments does it even approach chilly, Ayer’s really bad at directing his bad script. His photographer–Roman Vasyanov–is incompetent at shooting it. His editor, John Gilroy, can’t cut it either. Though Gilroy gets the closest to a pass because it’s not like there are any good takes or setups.

Back to the actors. Leto’s the worst, then Delevingne, then Kinnaman. At that point it starts to get a little confusing. Robbie’s not good. Her part’s lousy, Ayer’s direction of her is lousy, but she never gets a good moment across either. Maybe because Ayer really enjoys victimizing her throughout. Oh, Adam Beach. He likes to hit women. Though he’s convincing in the role. He doesn’t do anything else really.

Maybe sorting the performances isn’t a good idea. There a lot of crappy supporting ones too.

The least embarrassed actor is Jai Courtney. He doesn’t have enough material and his “manic” character is barely around enough to leave an impression, good or bad. He’s trying though. Jay Hernandez is also trying. He’s got a lot of terrible material, but he does try. Will Smith isn’t as bad as he could be. He’s got some bad dialogue and a dumb character arc, but he’s better than most of his costars. Ike Barinholtz is terrible. Sure, his part of abusive sadist is thin, but he’s still bad.

Suicide Squad is an abject waste of time. It’s not well-made in any way, its only surprises come from Ayer’s constant inabilities to direct any of his crap screenplay. The saddest thing about the film is its existence at all. It’s embarrassing it could get made. Any Warner Bros. executives with their fingerprints on this piece of excrement should take the Long Walk as an act of contrition.

Suicide Squad 3 (January 2012)

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Okay… I’m going to say it.

This issue of Suicide Squad is nearly okay. The issue’s plot is fantastic–the Squad has to pretend to be normal people for two hours until they get evacuated by Amanda Waller. In that time, friendships are formed, Harley and Deadshot almost get it on, that idiotic Mad Dog character shows up.

New artist Cliff Richards is probably better than the last guys, but he’s still not any good. But he’s not bad enough to ruin the issue.

Instead, it’s Glass’s dialogue. Even when he can plot out a fun issue, he can’t write the darned thing. Maybe Deadshot and Harley’s dialogue is all right (they’d do better in their own series, à la Bonnie and Clyde, than part of this one).

The issue starts crumbling with the arrival of Captain Boomerang, but good will carries it. Glass’s been reading Jeff Parker’s Thunderbolts apparently.

CREDITS

Last Chance; writer, Adam Glass; artist, Cliff Richards; colorist, Val Staples; letterer, Jared K. Fletcher; editors, Sean Mackiewicz and Pat McCallum; publisher, DC Comics.

Suicide Squad 2 (December 2011)

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Suicide Squad is still absolutely terrible, but it’s so much better this issue than the first.

And it surmounts the amazing art problems. It appears Federico Dallocchio and Andrei Bressan split the responsibilities, as the style changes drastically every couple pages. One is dark and ominous, the other is goofy and cartoony. The panels are awful to see.

And Deadshot’s new costume is ludicrous.

But Glass manages to move it along. He comes up with some surprises, though he clearly gets bored with a lot of his cast. King Shark or whatever doesn’t even need to be in the comic, since Glass doesn’t know how to do comic relief. He also doesn’t make Deadshot a strong enough team leader.

But, like I said, it’s a lot better than the first issue. At this rate, by issue fifty-two, it might even be mediocre.

Okay, maybe not. Maybe by issue 152.

CREDITS

When the Levee Breaks; writer, Adam Glass; artists, Federico Dallocchio and Andrei Bressan; colorists, Val Staples, Allen Passalaqu and Hi-Fi; letterer, Jared K. Fletcher; editors, Sean Mackiewicz and Pat McCallum; publisher, DC Comics.

Suicide Squad 1 (November 2011)

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So the new DC is helping overcome obesity by turning Amanda Waller into a babe? I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to get out of Suicide Squad.

Adam Glass is not a terrible writer. He’s got a dumb job, but he gets through it. We get introduced to some of the cast, in their post-New 52 origins. Deadshot’s seems to be the same.

But, wow, in Deadshot’s origin flashback, we get to see just how bad the art is going to get. Artists Frederico Dallochillo, Ransom Getty and Scott Hanna (no one wants to take responsibility for penciling or inking, apparently) are never good, but that Deadshot flashback with Batman is something else. The art gets terrible… before getting worse.

Suicide Squad is probably a hard book to screw up, but with a pointless story and bad art, it’s difficult to come up with a reason to return.

CREDITS

Kicked in the Teeth; writer, Adam Glass; pencillers, Federico Dallocchio and Ransom Getty; inkers, Dallocchio, Getty and Scott Hanna; colorist, Val Staples; letterer, Jared K. Fletcher; editors, Sean Mackiewicz and Pat McCallum; publisher, DC Comics.