What If…? (2021) s01e05 – What If… Zombies?!

Even with the trite, albeit genre-appropriate conclusion, this episode of “What If…?” is definitely the series high. And not just because Jeffrey Wright barely has any lines. It’s an actually good script—credited to Matthew Chauncey—with good action set pieces, better voice acting, and some good twists and turns. However, after a strong start with Mark Ruffalo, it turns out—once again—the secret to the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.

Even if Tom Holland’s not playing him. Instead, they get Hudson Thames, who does a fine Tom Holland impression. The episode takes place when Ruffalo arrives on Earth in Avengers: Infinity War and discovers the world overrun with zombies. Worse, they’re superhero zombies. Turns out the original Avengers (we miss the Captain America and Iron Man reuniting, once again) went to save the day in San Francisco where the outbreak starts—tying into Ant-Man and the Wasp—only to get immediately taken out.

So when Ruffalo’s got to warn the world of Thanos’s impending arrival… turns out they’ve got bigger problems. Ruffalo teams up with Thames and the rest of the, ahem, new Avengers, like Sebastian Stan, Danai Gurira, Emily VanCamp, Evangeline Lilly, and then superhero adjacent Jon Favreau and David Dastmalchian. It feels like an on-a-budget Disney+ kind of cast, but not in a bad way. All of the voice acting from the survivor team is great. Of course, the opening titles have given away three more big Marvel movie superhero appearances, but the action’s so tense I forgot to wait for them to arrive.

When they do, it’s with multiple good surprises.

Marvel Zombies was a comic book sensation (of sorts), riffing on Marvel fans being called “Marvel Zombies,” complete with an Evil Dead crossover series (and an excellent fan-made short film), and this “MCU Zombies” is way better than the comic. Again, the ending’s a bit pat and undercooked—having Wright narrate it doesn’t help—but “What If” finally doesn’t seem cheap. If only Bryan Andrews’s directed every episode as well.

It might also help they’re not jockeying a PG-13 line either. The zombie gore is a lot more than I was expecting. Great voice performances from pretty much everyone, including the three not-surprise surprise actors. But Ruffalo, Gurira, Lilly, and VanCamp are standouts—besides Thames, of course, whose Tom Holland is the web fluid holding it together. The big surprise is Ruffalo being so personable since his last appearance on “What If” was so blah.

A New Avengers is a fantastic idea, but they really need to get Holland signed up for more than one. Or maybe they can just CGI him and have Thames do the voice?

What If…? (2021) s01e01 – What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?

One of the joys of an old What If comic was seeing how the epilogue played out. Spider-Man ends up with eight arms and eating New York, whatever. The show’s apparently not going to do interesting epilogues because they want to bring in big-name guest stars from the major properties.

So instead of Hayley Atwell getting a character arc as she gets to imagine her Captain America part being more than “the girl with asterisks”—though the story still centers on Steve Rogers—it’s just a rehash of that movie. There’s a second-act twist—Atwell’s Captain Carter (not Britain?) gets the magic MacGuffin away from the bad guys—but they just get it back in time for the Cthulhu-inspired finale. Which takes place in an evil Disney tower. Captain America: The First Avenger was before the Disney deal and before Kevin Fiege cut out the Marvel Comics brain trust slash penny pinchers, so this “What If” is also some insight into what they’d do differently today.

Instead of laser zappers so there’s no blood, the Hydra agents have regular guns, but there’s still no blood because they’re Captain Carter fodder. And the Black guy in the Howling Commandos isn’t as present or visible.

And then there’s the voice casting. First off, Jeffrey Wright’s lousy as the Watcher. I’m not sure what the Watcher is supposed to sound like (I imagine helium voice because it’s funny), but Wright’s ostensibly in the Orson Welles or James Earl Jones vein. Forget Rebel Alliance and traitors, Wright can’t even muster whirled peas. Thankfully he doesn’t narrate the whole episode.

But then there’s the regular cast. Since Steve Rogers is still a main character and Atwell showed for all Chris Evans’s outings, maybe he’ll show up for her? Nope, can’t literally phone in a performance (versus metaphorically phoning in a performance like Bradley Whitford or Sebastian Stan). Atwell’s fine. Josh Keaton—filling in for Evans—is mostly acceptable. The dialogue’s not great, neither is the sound editing, but there are occasional flashes of inspiration. One of the Nazis Atwell punches out makes a Disney villain punch-out face, for example.

And the Nazi Disney castle.

Disney+ is targeting fewer quadrants with “What If,” so they’re doing it on the cheap. It’s not just the animation, they’re not even willing to pay for graphics for the end titles. I guess it’s interesting to see return-on-investment realities hit the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Disney pays for less and less, but… damn, isn't the real question–what if Marvel did right by its long-time female stars?

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e06 – One World, One People

Turns out forty-five minutes is the just right length for a Falcon and the Winter Soldier, even if Sebastian Stan gets startlingly little to do in the final episode of a show where his character’s name is in the title. Stan ends the series with less of a character arc than either extremely shallow villain Erin Kellyman or murderous Captain America Wyatt Russell (it’s really bad but I think Chris Pratt’s better than Russell, who manages to be worse with less than dialogue than with more here).

A lot of the episode is Anthony Mackie’s, which is fine and good and maybe even great, if it wasn’t all a bunch of respectability politics for the Black guy in the end and failing upward for the white one. No real spoilers but let’s just say there’s a Don Cheadle-sized hole in the episode, which seems to be more about setting up casting in subsequent Disney+ Marvel shows than resolving anything for the protagonists.

There’s a bunch of action; most of it’s really bland superpeople fighting in cities at night stuff—though I guess there are some cool flying sequences—before there’s a big warehouse fight section. The warehouse fight section, which involves a reveal I called last episode, is fairly bad. I was actually expecting it to be good—director Kari Skogland did what I thought was a Welles homage a couple episodes ago but I think it must’ve been a mistake. The action directing this episode wouldn’t fly on an Arrowverse show.

Good acting from Mackie, which is all that matters (mostly because no one else has enough dialogue for it to matter), and it’s nice to see Carl Lumbly but the resolution on him is peculiar.

Everything about the show, however, ends up being a cop out. There’s no significant character development—the entire cast (so Daniel Brühl, Adepero Oduye, Emily VanCamp, even Julia-Louis Dreyfus) pops up in the epilogue to remind viewers they were on the show (in Oduye’s case) and they can return for future MCU ventures (everyone else).

Last episode I thought Falcon and the Winter Soldier would’ve worked better as a movie, but not anymore; not with such a nothing finish.

There’s some cool technology special effects (who doesn’t want to see Iron Man-tech but from Wakanda) but it’s barely in it and doesn’t get a good showcase because Skogland’s really bad at the action scenes here.

Again, no spoilers, but there is no Poe and Finn get girlfriends at the last minute—even though there’s a threat—but there’s also no real resolve to Stan and Mackie’s character relationship arc because Stan’s not in the episode enough for them to do one. He and Mackie have like two and a half scenes together and I’m being generous counting one of them. The half is because there’s no dialogue just music for a montage. And the generous one is one of the boring action scenes.

Falcon and the Winter Soldier seems to be promising something more interesting will be coming for everyone involved—except Oduye (oh, wait, I don’t think she gets any dialogue here)—which is never a great way to end five hours and forty-five minutes.

Stay for the end credits if you want a whiff of a “surprise.” No wonder they ran WandaVision first.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e05 – Truth

A couple things real quick. First, given how much this episode’s opening resolve of the cliffhanger feels like the actual dramatic beat—and is a brutal (in a good way) fight scene—it really seems like the best version of “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” is a two and a half hour movie and not a six hour limited series. Especially given how badly the Erin Kellyman arc goes this episode. There was no reason to spend so much time on it just for her to do a Batman & Robin villain team-up arc. Though I suppose there’s a potential twist with one of her allies (for next time, because after the opening action, there’s no more action this episode).

Second, Wyatt Russell is a rather bad actor. Admittedly, if he were any better the show might all of a sudden be making a lot of statements about what it means to be a United States soldier out in the world, but, wow, he’s bad here. He seems to have learned tough guy acting from watching his dad in Tango & Cash.

On to the actual episode, which has Anthony Mackie going to Carl Lumbly’s house to have a heart-to-heart about what it means to be a Black Captain America. It’s an all right scene, mostly because Lumbly’s great and Mackie works well with him, but there’s no actual character development to the sequence. It’s just to give Mackie a reason to go back to the U.S. (also because the MCU has “Star Trek” teleporter technology to get the cast around the globe—most of the present action, if they weren’t cheating, would be people on airplanes).

After Mackie sees Lumbly, he goes back to sister Adepero Oduye’s to resolve that story arc from the first episode. It’s very much “fix the house to fix the relationship” stuff, albeit very amusing once Sebastian Stan shows up to help. Oduye gets to do a bit of emotional labor for Mackie and she’s good, but she never gets to have much fun in the series. Outside grinning at Stan, who turns on the charm to flirt with his new best friend’s sister.

There’s a way too fast resolution to Daniel Brühl’s arc, but he’s just going back into the guest star drawer until the MCU needs him again and he didn’t really have any character development so it’s not too much of a loss. He does manage more subtext in a single take than pretty much anyone else this episode but still… outside Russell, it’s because no one else gets quite the material.

Though Mackie and Stan do get to have a heart-to-heart, which isn’t anywhere near as well-written as it ought to be—credited writer Dalan Musson seems to know what scenes he needs, just not how to write them—before Stan goes off so Mackie can have a Rocky training montage (sadly, even though the episode’s got Henry Jackman’s best music in the series to date, the episode whiffs on a perfect Gonna Fly Now sequence).

Even with the lackadaisical pacing and repetitive exposition dumps, it’s maybe the best episode. Best or second best. Presumably they’ll be able to wrap everything up next time with a big fight in New York City.

Of course, if Michael K. Williams comes back as his Incredible Hulk character it’ll be the best show ever. Kidding. But one can hope.

There is a big fun cameo from Julia Louis-Dreyfus as a shadow villain, presumably setting up future appearances. Though Louis-Dreyfus then does take part in the show’s continued shitting on Gabrielle Byndloss (as Russell’s wife), who’s only there to remind us even though Russell certainly seems to be a white supremacist, he does have a Black best friend and a multicultural wife so he couldn’t possibly be… could he?

Anyway. It’s not impossible next episode will be good, though it’s very unlikely it’ll be good enough to make the first half of the series worth it. Mackie, Stan, and Kellyman deserve better from the franchise, while the audience deserves an apology for the Russell casting.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e04 – The Whole World is Watching

Lots and lots of action this episode. None of it particularly special until then end, when director Kari Skogland brings some Orson Welles suspense to it before completely eschewing said suspense, but it’s sort of enough. Especially since the episode goes for a very big, very consequential soft but bloody cliffhanger (which I think is straight out of the comics).

After a flashback, the episode starts with “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” still being the Daniel Brühl show. I wonder if they can somehow swing it to make Brühl Doctor Doom… while he’s great at Zemo (seriously, how can “Alienist” not get the same level of exposition dumping majesty as here—or even really hint at it), but Zemo’s presumably got a limited franchise lifespan. Because not only is the new Captain America—a better than ever before but still not as good as anyone else with more than three lines in the episode Wyatt Russell (Clé Bennett deserves an Emmy for holding up their scenes together)—on Brühl’s trail, the warriors from Black Panther want him for Captain America 3 crimes. Florence Kasumba plays the warrior who gets to talk.

She’s really good but with almost nothing to do (acting-wise, there’s a great fight scene). The opening flashback is her and Sebastian Stan; they’re “give them a spin-off” great together.

Though once Brühl steps out, it’s not Stan’s episode. It’s finally Anthony Mackie’s episode. Yes, he has to share too much of it with Russell and there’s a narratively suspect but obvious and inevitable threat to Mackie’s sister, Adepero Oduye. I guess the lighting’s at least good (courtesy cinematographer P.J. Dillon).

But there’s an actual “let’s try to talk it out” moment with Mackie and main villain until next episode or maybe last Erin Kellyman. Kellyman does really well in the scenes opposite Mackie. Though her master plan is pretty silly. Unfortunately, “Falcon and Winter Soldier” doesn’t really have its scale right, not to mention its narrative distance. Because right after Skogland’s excellent action suspense sequence, there’s the chance to scale it up and do something great. And the show doesn’t. It manages to be effective, but of course it’s effective, it’s the reveal of the villain the show’s been hinting at since episode one, with blood-soaked iconography. If it weren’t effective, there’d be a problem.

It’s the best episode of the series so far. But it might just be the first once with any real tension. Not to mention the fight scene with the Panther warriors is unproblematically entertaining, at least until the show suggests the real reason Russell starts to crack is because a Black female warrior beat him up. The episode says a lot about Captain America as an icon you’d think no one would want to verbalize, actually. It’s intentional enough it seems like foreshadowing for a cop out finish. Though the show cops out on so much what’s one more thing.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e03 – Power Broker

This episode feels the most like an overlong section of a movie, as heroes Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie have to break bad guy Daniel Brühl out of prison so Brühl can help them. The show’s quick about the breakout, then slow about everything else. Including having multiple expository dumps for supporting cast members to give them something to do—otherwise new Captain America and fascist thug Wyatt Russell (sidekick Clé Bennett is starting to notice him breaking under the stress) and hippie revolutionary Erin Kellyman (who goes from feeding refugees to mass murder faster than a Thanos snap) wouldn’t have anything to do this episode.

Of course, while Mackie and Stan are in the episode the entire time, they’re just there to give Brühl someone to out act. Show’s called “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” (admittedly, Stan gets a whole bunch more than Mackie here) but it’s the Brühl hour, with asides to also returning to the franchise Emily VanCamp.

The boys have to go to a lawless twenty-first century pirate’s paradise, Madripoor (from the X-Men comics, but they don’t spend the entire episode pretending Hugh Jackman’s going to show up at least), where they find VanCamp’s been living since her last outing (Captain America 3, also where Brühl showed up).

There’s a lot of action for VanCamp, there’s a very happening party, there’s Brühl lecturing Mackie about what it means to be a Black man in America, there’s a surprise guest star at the end. It’s fine. Nothing about it seems like they needed to make a six episode series. The episode’s got a couple action beats you could keep, the rest is just filler and promise of eventual (not this episode or maybe even this season) “payoff.”

Director Kari Skogland does well with all the action, but really she just sets the shot and lets Brühl walk through the scene and away with the show. If he was always going to be this compelling a guest star, they should’ve brought him in earlier. He and VanCamp bring a decisiveness the show’s been lacking. Not to fault Mackie or Stan, of course; it’s the script. Derek Kolstad’s script very definitely centers on Brühl, centers on VanCamp. It’s like “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” is trying to prove the case Mackie and Stan shouldn’t have their own show, let alone movie.

Maybe it’ll change next episode.

Again, whatever, it’s fine. But it’s also pretty lazy.

Also, there’s a very strange, very pointless supervillain mask moment; it’s pointless in the narrative, it’s pointless for the character, really doesn’t belong. It’s just for the trailers. Actually, there are a number of made-for-the-trailer shots this episode. But they usually aren’t pointless. “Falcon and the Winter Soldier” is overly verbose as is, the show doesn’t need to add any more padding.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e02 – The Star-Spangled Man

So I don’t think the new Captain America (Wyatt Russell) is going to be a Neo-Nazi. Though I don’t think his supporting cast of BIPOC friends and loved ones is going to make it through the series because he’s going to need a inciting incident somewhere near episode four or five to send him on a confrontation path with the heroes because right now he’s just a bland, blond, blue-eyed do-gooder. Albeit one working for the GRC (Global Rebuilding Council) and the U.S. government.

“Falcon and Winter Soldier” obviously has a story bible on the deal with the GRC, which has countries trying to revert back to pre-Snap social structures, but they’re just peppering it into conversation.

They should’ve done Jamie Lee Curtis speaking over a wire-frame map.

Anyway.

This episode’s a lot better than the first one. Russell’s fine. Cle Bennett comes in as his partner, which had me remembering them from the comic; at least they don’t call him Bucky but “Battlestar” comes off goofier than it ever did in the comics.

Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan get some of their bicker banter going and it’s magic, whether them just going off one another or during an action scene or during the silly but fun impromptu therapy session with Amy Aquino.

There’s good action direction—albeit kind of boring Bond-ish action set pieces—from Kari Skogland this outing. No more kills for Mackie or flashback ones for Stan. Not sure when we’ll get to restart the body counter (though Russell’s clearly gonna start popping combatants soon enough and not just when they’re heat-visioning tourists). It’s kind of nice not to have one.

Though the villains—the millennial gang known as the Flag Smashers (sure, Jan), who got used to eating avocado toast without xenophobia during the Blip (so post-Snap, pre-I’m Iron Man)—are eighties missing the point bad.

For comic readers, there’s a very big surprise inclusion, involving phenomenal guest star Carl Lumbly, and there’s a chance the show might do something with it. It’s a big door to open without going through.

However… the show got renewed for a second season, which sort of spoils whether or not they’re resolving Who Will Wield the Shield? in the next four episodes.

But it’s a lot better than before. Mackie and Stan are so fun together, though Stan gets all the character work; last episode feels like a tacked-on beginning to give Mackie some extra scenes at this point.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) s01e01 – New World Order

So, when this episode started, I thought the thing to discuss would be the very obvious Pentagon underwriting of the script. Falcon (Anthony Mackie) is now working for the Air Force… he’s going into sovereign nations and killing people. Yes, it’s a rescue mission but he’s there as an unregulated super-weapon for the U.S. military. He kills like ten plus. Far more than Sebastian Stan will (even though he’s supposed to be the irredeemable assassin).

Also it’s Disney. It’s a Disney show with a headshot in the first five minutes, then the hero killing a bunch of bad guys. Now, they’re French and white so it could be a lot worse, but still. Wow.

Only the body count and militarism is just the beginning. Because since the Blip, when all the people returned in Avengers: Endgame, America has gotten a lot more racist. It’s just a plot point. Let’s make the MCU more like 2021 United States by having Neo-Nazis all over. There’s also the implication the racism started during post-Infinity War, pre-Endgame, based on some subtext from Mackie’s sister, Adepero Oduye. She didn’t get Thanos-ed and had to take care of the family’s fishing business. She tries telling Mackie what happened while he was gone but he doesn’t want to hear so the viewer doesn’t either. Mackie’s got a seemingly toxic, controlling relationship with Oduye, which no doubt will get resolved after she and her children get taken hostage later in the series because of course they will.

They may even get taken hostage by a Neo-Nazi Captain America, which is going to have some amazing optics. I may be mixing up my Marvel Comics arcs, but it’s far from impossible.

Then there’s Winter Soldier (Sebastian Stan). He’s got a pardon for being a brainwashed Russian cyborg but he’s got to go to therapist Amy Aquino, who wants him to make amends. Sometimes making amends is doing some fun kind of spy stuff to root out corruption, sometimes making amends is the most tragic thing you can imagine for a couple characters and seemingly will just serve to traumatize Stan over and over again.

Don Cheadle shows up for a cameo. Given the story’s about the U.S. Government screwing Mackie over because he’s Black and Black people can’t be inspiring Americans, it’ll be interesting to see what happens with Cheadle still working for them.

What else… Danny Ramirez is Mackie’s sidekick in the Air Force, who’ll probably Red Shirt at some point. No one else shows up.

Okay performance from Mackie, who’s playing a way too naive character for what the show seems to be going for; Stan’s really good. It’s kind of unfair how much better than Mackie, like they should’ve adjusted and compensated. Also Stan gets top-billing, which is a big diss to Mackie, who’s clearly the protagonist.

Kari Skogland’s direction is fine, but much closer to middling than okay.

“Falcon and the Winter Soldier” is off to a very rough start and it’s hard to believe they’re not going to cop out on all the stuff they’re introducing. But even if they don’t cop out, they won’t be able to properly address it.

Like George Clooney said (regarding a potential adaptation of Garth Ennis’s MAX Fury comic), “Who would want to watch that?”

I, Tonya (2017, Craig Gillespie)

Despite the rather declarative I in the title, I, Tonya, Margot Robbie’s Tonya Harding is not the protagonist of the film. Writer Steven Rogers avoids making her the protagonist as long as he can–really, until the third act–and instead splits it between Robbie and Sebastian Stan (as her husband). Allison Janney, as her mother, has a lot to do the first hour, not so much the second. So little, in fact, Janney–in the present-day interview clips (with the actors in old age makeup and a perplexing 4:3 aspect ratio despite, you know, digital video)–comments on how she’s not in the story much anymore.

The distance from Robbie (and Harding) lets I, Tonya get away with things like Robbie making fun of Nancy Kerrigan (played by Caitlin Carver, who literally has no audible dialogue other than moaning “why” over and over again after her assault, which the film plays for a laugh). Kerrigan, Harding (Robbie) opines, only got hit once. Harding had been constantly beaten first by Janney and then Stan her whole life until that point. What’s Kerrigan got to be so upset about. Ha. Funny.

Whether or not Harding actually made that statement–the script is based, in part, on interviews with Harding and the real-life Stan–is immaterial. Rogers and director Gillespie play it for a shock laugh. But I, Tonya is hardly sympathetic to Harding; Robbie will recount abuse in voiceover–or in scene; the characters occasionally break the fourth wall for effect–and then, next scene, I, Tonya will play her being assaulted for a laugh. Not so much with Stan, whose casual vicious abuse is presented utterly matter-of-fact, but with Janney. Janney’s abuse, physical and psychological, is always good for a chuckle.

Because I, Tonya wants the audience to laugh at its subjects. Bobby Cannavale, in the present day interview clips as a Hard Copy producer (the film doesn’t do anywhere near enough with explaining the Hard Copy coverage for people not somewhat familiar with the actual events), talks about how some of the participants–maybe the guys who actually attack Kerrigan–are the biggest boobs in a story made up entirely of boobs. I, Tonya, despite Harding’s participation, feels no differently about it.

Robbie’s Harding is terrorized and terrified, without an ounce of joy or even the capacity for it. The script’s got to follow a historical timeline–there’s accomplishment the first time Robbie gets away from abusive Stan, but then when she goes back to him, the movie skips ahead instead of examining. Robbie’s not just not the protagonist, she’s not even a good subject. You can’t get too many laughs out of it if you chart her descent into (apparent) alcoholism after returning to the abusive relationship.

Meanwhile, Stan’s a little bit closer to the protagonist. See, the ice-skating stuff–despite a solid performance by Julianne Nicholson as Robbie’s trainer (who simultaneously champions her for her ability and loathes her for being poor)–barely figures in. Robbie doesn’t get to essay accomplishment, just abuse, whether from Janney or Stan. Her character is completely defined by other people. Not much I in it.

But Stan. Until he starts hitting Robbie, he’s a cute boyfriend. Then he’s a scumbag one, but he’s always around in the story. Now, Stan is eight years older than Robbie, but the actual age difference was three years. Even though Stan’s performance is excellent, it might have worked better age appropriate. Because I, Tonya’s Stan is a different kind of creep than the real guy. Of course, they’re both playing characters far younger–starting at fifteen for Robbie–and, well, it’s not like the film’s going for verisimilitude. It’s going for laughs. Often really easy ones.

Like Paul Walter Hauser, as the guy who orchestrated the attack on Kerrigan and Stan’s buddy. Hauser’s great. Maybe the movie’s best performance. Because he doesn’t bring any glamour to the part. Janney, despite the makeup and the funny hair and all the affect, is still doing a movie star turn. Hauser’s just this schlub.

He also gets to be the butt of some of the film’s working class poverty jokes. Though there’s a truly stunning one in Robbie’s voice over where you wonder how craven Rogers and Gillespie have to be to spit on the real-life Harding to characterize her as such. And they’re far from gracious to the character–the film conveys Harding’s assertion she knew nothing about the attack and doesn’t directly contradict it… just strongly implies there are possible unknowns. It does the same for Stan. Hauser’s character–the real-life person having died ten years before the film–gets to be the film’s single premeditating villain.

Performance-wise, outside Hauser’s kickass supporting (practically bit) turn, Stan, Robbie, and Janney are all excellent. They’re all caricatures to some degree, though Stan gets to be super-likable in the interview sections, which is problematic. Especially since, initially, Robbie doesn’t. And even after Robbie gets to be more sympathetic, she never gets to be likable. The end credits of the film exemplify three of the film’s major fails. First, the real Tonya Harding–in Hard Copy footage perhaps–is immediately more likable and sympathetic than Robbie ever gets to be. Worse, than Robbie ever tries to be. A sincere smile wouldn’t hurt. Similarly, when the film shows Harding’s heavy metal skate recitals? It’s unimaginable why Robbie, as Harding, would make that creative choice. She’s utterly joyless. The real Harding, in footage, is clearly exuberant.

Final big fail? The skating. Director Gillespie uses a lot of digital help with the editing–so again, why does the film pretend contemporary cameras for the interviews would be 4:3, but whatever–so lots of digital help for editing. He gets these long, obviously digitally-aided shots–Tatiana S. Riegel’s editing is technically outstanding, regardless of content. He also uses digital help for the skating. Presumably to put Robbie’s face on a figure skater, but also to recreate Harding’s actual skating.

You’d think, given CGI technology, they would’ve been able to make that skating a tenth as impressive as Tonya Harding’s actual skating ability. They don’t. All the camerawork, all the digital help, all the editing… it’s nothing compared to the television footage of Harding skating during the end credits. I, Tonya’s Harding is as feckless about her skating as the film is about presenting her story. It would’ve been nice if the film didn’t do a constant, active disservice to itself just for some laughs.

Captain America: Civil War (2016, Anthony Russo and Joe Russo)

I wasn’t aware it was possible, but go-to Marvel superhero movie composer Henry Jackman is actually getting worse as he does more of these movies. His score for Captain America: Civil War is laughable, which is too bad, because if the film hit the thematic beats Jackman failed to achieve? Well, it wouldn’t fix the script, but it would definitely make the film flow a bit better.

The film is two and a half hours of action scenes every ten minutes or so. Unless the action scene goes on for longer than ten minutes, in which case it screws up the rhythm of subsequent scenes. But directors Russo keep it on schedule. Their job is getting this train ride to its conclusion and they do it. Their action direction is a bunch of sped-up fight scenes and they’re usually pretty boring. The opening one, with its strong performances from the way too big cast, could’ve been amazing with better direction. And the big superhero showdown is awesome for the most part, only… it doesn’t make much narrative sense as far as keeping the players in motion.

But there’s a lot quite good about Civil War. They blow the chance to give Robert Downey Jr. an actual character to play here, but they get pretty close on occasion. His scenes opposite Tom Holland are fantastic and Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely’s script does give Downey the opportunity for character development. The film just rejects it.

The real standout is Sebastian Stan, who never quite gets enough to do because there’s always another action scene for the Russo Brothers to get through–they have a really lame chase sequence, more is usually just more–but Stan is hypnotic. He also has great chemistry with ostensible lead Chris Evans (and Evans’s replacement sidekick, Anthony Mackie). Less action, more character; would’ve helped Civil War a lot. Especially since that way too big cast is often pretty good together.

Elizabeth Olsen is good, she and Paul Bettany are great together. Bettany’s got a bit of a crap part. So does Jeremy Renner, but Renner does get better material. Markus and McFeely–or maybe it was the Russo Brothers–seem to acknowledge they need to hit emotional beats and then they skip them. Paul Rudd’s fun, though his character’s pretty thinly written. William Hurt is embarrassing himself. Emily VanCamp gets the worst part in the movie. Seemingly intentionally.

As for the newcomers to the brand? Well, Holland’s great. He’s playing the Marvel Studios (sorry, Walt Disney) version of Spider-Man. Can’t wait for his movie. Chadwick Boseman’s fine as the Black Panther. It really ought to be his movie, but there’s so much pretending it’s Evan’s. Instead, Boseman’s basically Boba Fett. Sort of literally. Villain Daniel Brühl gets a terrible part (though still better than VanCamp) and not much opportunity to act.

Rather weak cinematography from Trent Opaloch, but otherwise Civil War is a completely competent outing.

There’s a lot of potential to this film and the filmmakers didn’t go for any of it. Instead, they went for a bunch of mediocre action scenes, one heck of a superhero battle (proving having ten superheroes fight on the big screen is an accomplishment in itself) and a really weak ending.

Evans and Downey both look exhausted throughout the film. Evans doesn’t get the material he (and the film) deserves, while Downey rejects the material. But until the denouement, it’s perfectly fine stuff.

And Sebastian Stan is truly phenomenal.