What If…? (2021) s01e01 – What If… Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?

One of the joys of an old What If comic was seeing how the epilogue played out. Spider-Man ends up with eight arms and eating New York, whatever. The show’s apparently not going to do interesting epilogues because they want to bring in big-name guest stars from the major properties.

So instead of Hayley Atwell getting a character arc as she gets to imagine her Captain America part being more than “the girl with asterisks”—though the story still centers on Steve Rogers—it’s just a rehash of that movie. There’s a second-act twist—Atwell’s Captain Carter (not Britain?) gets the magic MacGuffin away from the bad guys—but they just get it back in time for the Cthulhu-inspired finale. Which takes place in an evil Disney tower. Captain America: The First Avenger was before the Disney deal and before Kevin Fiege cut out the Marvel Comics brain trust slash penny pinchers, so this “What If” is also some insight into what they’d do differently today.

Instead of laser zappers so there’s no blood, the Hydra agents have regular guns, but there’s still no blood because they’re Captain Carter fodder. And the Black guy in the Howling Commandos isn’t as present or visible.

And then there’s the voice casting. First off, Jeffrey Wright’s lousy as the Watcher. I’m not sure what the Watcher is supposed to sound like (I imagine helium voice because it’s funny), but Wright’s ostensibly in the Orson Welles or James Earl Jones vein. Forget Rebel Alliance and traitors, Wright can’t even muster whirled peas. Thankfully he doesn’t narrate the whole episode.

But then there’s the regular cast. Since Steve Rogers is still a main character and Atwell showed for all Chris Evans’s outings, maybe he’ll show up for her? Nope, can’t literally phone in a performance (versus metaphorically phoning in a performance like Bradley Whitford or Sebastian Stan). Atwell’s fine. Josh Keaton—filling in for Evans—is mostly acceptable. The dialogue’s not great, neither is the sound editing, but there are occasional flashes of inspiration. One of the Nazis Atwell punches out makes a Disney villain punch-out face, for example.

And the Nazi Disney castle.

Disney+ is targeting fewer quadrants with “What If,” so they’re doing it on the cheap. It’s not just the animation, they’re not even willing to pay for graphics for the end titles. I guess it’s interesting to see return-on-investment realities hit the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Disney pays for less and less, but… damn, isn't the real question–what if Marvel did right by its long-time female stars?

Agent Carter (2013, Louis D’Esposito)

Agent Carter is a terrible execution of a nice idea. The short is supposed to follow-up on Hayley Atwell’s character after the Captain America movie. A post-script for a supporting character… love that idea.

Sadly, Carter wastes most of its runtime. The first minute is a recap from the movie, the end credits are three and a half minutes or so (of a fourteen minute short)… Atwell eventually plays second fiddle to stunt casted Bradley Whitford. Whitford plays her sexist boss (it’s the forties after all).

There are other returning Captain America cast members, but director D’Esposito and writer Eric Pearson save them for more stunt moments at the end.

The idea Carter ends on–what’s next for Atwell and her sidekicks–would make a fun movie. Except this short’s it. There’s just the promise next time it’d better.

It’s a shame too. Atwell does well with nothing.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011, Joe Johnston)

I’m not sure where to start with Captain America. There are two obvious places. First is Chris Evans. His earnest performance is unlike any other superhero movie of the last few decades (because the character is fundamentally different). Second is Joe Johnston.

I think I’ll start with Johnston.

Captain America is very well-directed. Johnston manages a wide Panavision frame, lots of huge sets (maybe most obvious homage to the films of the thirties and forties) and a bunch of actors. But because he’s utilizing so much CG, either as backdrops or special effects… it lacks distinction. If I were unfamiliar with him as a director, this film would give me no insight other than him being able.

Back to Evans. Captain America’s a tough character because Evans has to sell being a good guy all the time, even before he’s Captain America (the frail CG version of Evans is the film’s most impressive visual effect, but his performance sells it), even when he’s out of costume. Evans is able to sell him wearing the outfit. Nothing else does.

The film’s the best of the Marvel Studios releases, but still has its problems. Hugo Weaving’s villain, while well-acted, isn’t interesting enough for all the screen time he gets. The Alan Silvestri score is mediocre at best.

Oddly, I think it’ll probably get better on repeat viewings, when one can appreciate it without anticipating it.

That statement made, it’s quite good even on the first viewing. And Stanley Tucci’s phenomenal.

Mamma Mia! (2008, Phyllida Lloyd)

The first act of Mamma Mia! practically kills the entire thing. The goofy proposition of a musical set to ABBA songs engenders a lot of curiosity (one starring Meryl Streep provokes a lot more), but the first act–when it tries to be a narrative–is a disaster. The attempts at narrative and summary storytelling are atrocious. The first act would have been more successful if the movie had just started by playing the trailer to establish itself. There’s also the problem with Amanda Seyfried, who’s awful when the story centers around her. Luckily, it’s only for that first act. Later on, when Seyfried’s supporting, she’s better.

The movie starts getting entertaining–and Mamma Mia! is nothing but entertaining, the joke of it being the presence of Streep and Pierce Brosnan, both of whom are established, undeniable movie stars. It’s fun watching them have fun (I suppose Mamma Mia! is a low rent Ocean’s Twelve and Thirteen as it were). Anyway, it gets entertaining when Julie Walters and Christine Baranski arrive. Once the film gets those two and Streep together, it’s a lot of fun. Baranski’s the only cast member who I’d expect to see in Mamma Mia! Watching Julie Walters in the movie is almost more disconcerting than seeing Streep in it.

I’m unfamiliar with modern musicals, so I don’t know if this “style” is the norm, but Mamma Mia! is absurd as one of the Muppet movies. It tries for humor in the same way (a line of the song leads to some amusing, literal sight gag), which is a lot different than presenting a narrative set to music. The failed first act never established itself as acknowledging its absurdity, something Seyfried’s ever-pensive performance doesn’t help.

At times with Streep and Brosnan–mostly with Streep, because Brosnan seems perfectly aware his presence in the film is silly and can’t stop grinning–there’s the implication the movie’s format is wasting its cast. Maybe Streep should have made a movie with Brosnan about middle-aged romance or one with Seyfried (well, not Seyfried, but some other young actress) about letting go of an about-to-be married daughter. But then Streep sings and brings her superior acting ability to it. Streep’s not a good singer (but better than I would have thought, ABBA songs lend themselves to enthusiasm over ability), but her performance makes it not matter. It makes the super-pop songs all of a sudden of the greatest human import. All because of Streep.

The rest of the cast is fine. Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgård get the heave-ho once the focus shifts from Seyfried to Streep but it’s hard to miss them. Seeing Pierce Brosnan break out into song–he seems to be trying to turn ABBA into Irish folk songs–obscures their absence. Mamma Mia! is one of the first times it becomes clear what a good movie star Brosnan has turned into–quite a turnaround for someone who was doing direct-to-cable movies twenty years ago.

The direction–which is essentially a string of music videos strung together–is occasionally annoying, as is the digitally enhanced cinematography. But it’s a fine enough hour and forty minutes… with the last number making any problems more than worth enduring.

1/4

CREDITS

Directed by Phyllida Lloyd; written by Catherine Johnson, based on her original musical book, originally conceived by Judy Craymer based on the songs of ABBA; director of photography, Haris Zambarloukos; edited by Lesley Walker; music and lyrics by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus, some songs with Stig Anderson; production designer, Maria Djurkovic; produced by Craymer and Gary Goetzman; released by Universal Pictures.

Starring Meryl Streep (Donna), Pierce Brosnan (Sam), Colin Firth (Harry), Stellan Skarsgård (Bill), Julie Walters (Rosie), Dominic Cooper (Sky), Amanda Seyfried (Sophie) and Christine Baranski (Tanya).


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