• A Fish Called Wanda (1988, Charles Crichton)

    A Fish Called Wanda introduces each of its main characters during the opening titles, cutting from one actor to another, starting with screenwriter John Cleese. He’s a barrister. Then it’s Jamie Lee Curtis; she’s a vivacious American. Then Kevin Kline is a deadly but dim-witted American. Finally, Michael Palin. He loves animals, including his fish (Wanda is named after a fish, but also Curtis’s character, who the fish is presumably named after).

    Curtis, Kline, and Palin are pulling a jewel heist. Tom Georgeson is the mastermind. Curtis is the brainy moll, Kline’s the muscle, and Palin’s the utility man. Curtis and Georgeson are shacked up, but she’s really with Kline; to cover in front of Georgeson and Palin, Curtis and Kline pretend to be siblings. It gets some raised eyebrows until Kline—in one of the only intelligent things he does in the movie, but since it’s being shitty, he can figure it out—diverts attention in a very funny subplot.

    Kline’s the breakout performance in the film. He’s got a mix of physical and verbal comedy, and he’s always better. It’s an exceptional, singular performance. Though, arguably, that description fits all four leads. But Kline gets the most laughs. He does dangerous and absurd in perfect balance.

    When someone turns on the crew after the heist, Georgeson gets arrested. He’s moved the jewels, so when everyone else goes looking, they come up empty-handed. Worse, the prosecutors are offering a deal, provided Georgeson turns over the jewels and maybe his partners.

    Curtis gets the idea to cozy up to his new barrister, Cleese, in hopes of getting some privileged information. Curtis flirting with Cleese drives Kline up a further wall, which just gets worse and worse for Cleese (and Curtis).

    While Curtis and Kline are working Cleese for their own benefit, Palin’s trying to keep on mission; he just needs to take out a witness against Georgeson. A mean little old lady (a delightful Patricia Hayes) with three mean dogs. Except Palin can’t seem to find a way to kill the old lady without taking out her dogs, causing him quite the moral quandary.

    It doesn’t help Kline’s annoying him most of the time. Palin’s character has a stutter, which Kline teases him about (first out of carelessness, then out of malice), and the assassination order just gives him more ammunition. Kline doesn’t think Palin can do it and tries to psych him out.

    Meanwhile, Cleese is a successful barrister in a disagreeable marriage to Maria Aitken. His success doesn’t impress her (he married into money, which comes up later), and he doesn’t have any interest in her society goings on. They’ve got a daughter (Cynthia Cleese), who’s often around the house, but doesn’t really play in. She’s funny and good; she’s just very supporting.

    Aitken’s awesome as Cleese’s wife, who’s got to be in the “unreasonable spouse” position, so Cleese’s flirtation with Curtis isn’t off-putting. Though Wanda initially plays Cleese as a rube, he ends up the protagonist, and he gets there through his infatuation with Curtis. He thinks she’s just an overeager American legal student who happens to be very sexy; she speaks his language and is interested in what he’s got to say.

    Wanda is a heist comedy, not a heist spoof or noir spoof. The film doesn’t play around with twists and reveals in the third act. Instead, it establishes the characters pretty quickly in the first and second acts—with Cleese’s protagonist role being the last bit of establishing—and then the second act is all about Kline screwing up Curtis’s plans, complicating things with Cleese, and consequently his home life. Often hilariously. Maybe always hilariously.

    Then Palin’s off mostly on his own, checking in with Curtis and Kline occasionally.

    It’s an incredibly well-constructed plot. However, there’s nothing not incredible about Wanda. The dialogue’s not just fast and funny; Cleese’s script ties the character development to it. Curtis gives away insight into the femme behind the fatale as she has to react to unexpected, complicated situations. It’s obvious what all the men see in Curtis and what she sees in most of them, but when she and Cleese’s chemistry starts driving their scenes—mutually—instead of the plot machinations, she’s got to make it believable.

    Phenomenal work from Curtis. She’s so good. The script gives her a Basil Fawlty rant at one point, and the way she channels it just informs her and Cleese’s chemistry; he’s almost entirely rant-free. Well, loud rant-free. Cleese isn’t just in an expired marriage; he’s also sick of being British. He’s done it all his life, and it sure looks like Americans have more fun.

    Cleese is great. As a writer, he knows how to share. He and Kline have some great scenes together, and then there’s a wonderful one with Palin.

    And Palin’s excellent, too, of course. For most of Wanda, he’s just in his own little movie amid the bigger story. When they bring him in it, it’s always great.

    The film’s technicals are outstanding too. Crichton’s direction is breezy but never hurried. He knows how to showcase the actors. Excellent photography from Alan Hume and a fun score from John Du Prez.

    And Hazel Pethig’s costumes are essential, particularly for Curtis and Kline.

    A Fish Called Wanda is a masterpiece of comedy. Peerless comedy acting from Kline, Curtis, Cleese, and Palin, and Cleese’s script is superlative. Wanda’s wonderful.


  • Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #257

    Superboy  the Legion of Super Heroes  257

    If it weren’t for the backup, which pairs writer Gerry Conway with Steve Ditko (penciling, with Dan Adkins inking), this issue would give the impression Conway doesn’t like the Legion. Or, if he does, he thinks their positive traits are being smug asswipes.

    In addition to the charming, sexy (really) backup story about Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel’s misadventures trying to be regular people colonists, Conway writes the feature. Joe Staton and Dave Hunt are on the art. Maybe if the story weren’t so lackluster, something about their lackluster art would’ve stood out more (I mean, there are some weird Cosmic Boy panels thanks to that outfit, but otherwise).

    The feature story is all about how important it is to lie.

    The Legion is in trouble with the science police for hijacking the amusement park hovering over the Grand Canyon last issue. They needed to holographic something something to make Brainiac 5 sane again. Except now, no one knows if it works, so they’re just supposed to trust Brainy as the cops and the amusement park owner yell at them.

    The issue basically takes place over fifteen minutes, with the morale of the story—for Superboy, no less—being sometimes it’s better to lie to escape accountability. Did the Superboy from Superboy and the Legion go on to be the bad guy in Final Crisis or whatever? It would make sense. They’re all a bunch of assholes.

    The subplot involves the rich guy who funds them being out of money—for like the sixth straight issue—but now the Legion knows about it, so Chameleon Boy’s going to get it resolved. At least there’s some momentum on that story, though it’s also a little obnoxious. Especially since it turns out the Legion does have most of their base left, just not the ostentatious part.

    This book’s a trip.

    The backup’s wonderful, though. Bouncing Boy and Duo Damsel are a cute couple; Ditko’s layouts and Conway’s script have a lovely retro but not condescending thing going on.

    I wish they’d take over the feature slot.


  • Halloween Ends (2022, David Gordon Green)

    While I had some expectations about Halloween Ends’s plot going in, based on the previous entry, the franchise, and behind-the-scenes scuttlebutt, nothing prepared me for a soft remake of Nightmare on Elm Street II.

    Halloween Ends is not about Jamie Lee Curtis getting out the butcher knife granddaughter Andi Matichak gave her in the last movie to kill Michael Myers (once again James Jude Courtney and Nick Castle) with Will Patton helping like they’re an adorable old couple hunting serial killers. It’s about local boy Rohan Campbell who accidentally killed a little kid he was babysitting a year after the last movie’s events. On Halloween, obviously. So, Ends’s opening kill is a child’s graphic, accidental death.

    It’s incredibly manipulative but also really compelling.

    The action then moves ahead three more years. Curtis has given up the prepper life (which seems entirely unlikely given Ends would then take place in 2022, post-Covid—but just like with its immortal septuagenarian spree killers, it doesn’t take place in the real world). She and granddaughter Matichak live together in a charming house where Curtis works on her true crime memoir. Matichak’s a nurse, so she didn’t slow down with college after her entire life was destroyed. Despite being Matichak’s best performance in the series, she and Curtis still don’t have a rewarding cinematic relationship. They’re just too slasher movie broken for it to work, and the movie doesn’t even try.

    Curtis happens across Campbell in the present—some high school seniors in the marching band are bullying him—and introduces him to Matichak, who’s apparently been dating a bunch of dudes since Courtney murdered her boyfriend last movie. Her most recent beau is a shitty cop—shitty even for cops—Jesse C. Boyd. Luckily for Matichak, thanks to the bullying, Campbell’s about to snap and has no qualms about picking fights with a cop. Not when he’s a bad boy who zooms around town real fast on the motorcycle he’s fixed up.

    Ends fearlessly rides a motorcycle over its shark tank, no qualms about all the eighties horror movie tropes it implements (in addition to Nightmare II, Boyd also does a Christine-esque transformation). It’s shameless, which works for it. Especially since Matichak finds her newest Bonnie in Campbell, and they have eighties teen movie montages riding around on his bike, trying to escape their respective traumas.

    The movie pays a lot of lip service to trauma and recovering from it. Curtis has a bunch of narration about it, including narrating clips from the other Halloween movies. It’s a little weird to have a forty-year-old franchise, but they’re only using the clips from the first one, H40, and Kills. They should’ve CGI’ed something else together for it. There’s not a lot of flash in Ends, all things considered. It’s a muted finale.

    Albeit one with some bizarre plot decisions. Like having everyone in town hate Curtis for the 2018 massacre—she spent her life bullying a man with brain damage, what did she think would happen—or Patton basically being a cameo. If it weren’t this Halloween series with its deceptive opening titles vise a vie cast importance, he’d be unbilled.

    Best music of the H40 trilogy from Cody Carpenter, John Carpenter, and Daniel A. Davies. Solid photography from Michael Simmonds and especially editing from Timothy Alverson. Green’s direction is fine. He’s not mimicking the original movie anymore, not with Campbell as the new protagonist, which helps.

    It’s not good or successful, but it’s also not terrible, and it’s definitely the most engaging of the H40 series.


  • Clerks III (2022, Kevin Smith)

    Clerks III starts as a series of vignettes reintroducing the characters. It’s been fifteen years since the previous entry; since then, spoiler alert, one of them has become a widower, and neither has done anything with their lives. For the first time, Jeff Anderson gets a little more to do than Brian O’Halloran, though only in the third act.

    Until then, the movie’s a quick setup—Anderson has a heart attack and decides to make a movie about his life at the Quick Stop—with the actors doing their familiar banter routines, just updated a little more the times. Trevor Fehrman, also returning from II, now has his own sidekick, Austin Zajur. Director Smith reprises as Silent Bob, Jason Mewes is Jay. Everyone’s back, including ex-girlfriends Rosario Dawson, Marilyn Ghigliotti, and Jennifer Schwalbach Smith.

    Many of the actors—besides Dawson, obviously, whose performance is visibly effortless compared to her costars—haven’t been in a movie since a Clerks and it shows. Schwalbach Smith is so bad I was able to identify her as the director’s wife just by her performance. No other way she’d have gotten the gig. Ghigliotti gets back into the groove quickly, though.

    The funniest section of the film is while they’re making the movie. In addition to Anderson and O’Halloran, Mewes and Fehrman are around to cause hijinks, and III brings back all the actors from the first movie to play their “scenes.” It’s kind of lovely, actually, getting the same bit players back, thirty years on. The film doesn’t get sentimental about it, which is good because it goes off the rails with sentiment. The third act’s sincere, almost successful—successful to the point it saves the movie—ultimately a fail. Smith doesn’t just fumble the ending; he intentionally smashes it.

    Besides that section, the second act is almost entirely scenes or montages set to modern folk rock. The first act is all nineties soundalikes (or nineties songs, I guess, I didn’t Shazam), which makes sense since the whole movie starts as an homage to that era. That soundtrack at least fits; the folk-rock? They should’ve just done a musical. Especially since there are great cameos from Melissa Benoist and Chris Wood auditioning for the movie-in-the-movie, and they both want to do it musical theater.

    The other cameos are hot and cold. Amy Sedaris has a lengthy cameo where Anderson can’t shut up about “The Mandalorian,” a show she stars in, but the bits aren’t funny because Anderson’s not a nineties Star Wars nerd anymore; he’s just a regular white guy fifty-year-old. And Sedaris is bad. Justin Long’s also bad. Luckily they’re only in it for a bit.

    Anderson’s good until he’s got to “come to Buddy Christ,” and then it’s not his fault. Smith can’t figure out how to write it, so it’s another montage, not even a sensical one. O’Halloran seems nervous, disinterested, and miserable to be making another Clerks for two-thirds of the movie, then has a breakout scene, but then the movie’s over.

    Clerks III is, of course, a very long shot, but even as a miss, it showcases why it could’ve been a hit.

    Maybe Smith’ll figure it out by IV.


  • Tomb of Dracula (1972) #24

    Tomb of Dracula  24

    The issue opens with original series protagonist Frank Drake whining about being an unexceptional white man to his extraordinary vampire-hunting girlfriend, Rachel Van Helsing. The only thing the scene is missing is Rachel telling Frank she needs him because no one else will love her with her Dracula-inflicted face scars.

    It’s a beautiful scene—art-wise—with penciller Gene Colan and inker Tom Palmer heading back to the London bridge where Frank met the vampire hunters back in issue two or whatever. From Big Ben, Dracula watches the tender moment, amused the vampire hunters still don’t know he’s alive. They thought he died a few issues ago, though they do know Lilith is back. Nothing about her in this issue.

    Instead, it’s actually a Blade issue. Almost entirely, because Dracula doesn’t want Blade to know he’s back yet either, so Drac stays in bat form for their fight.

    After the introduction with Frank and Rachel—which comes back at the end for some emotionally inert closure—writer Marv Wolfman moves the action to Blade’s apartment, where a random vampire attacks Blade’s “woman,” Saffron. There’s a brief fight scene, then some padding, then Saffron’s fellow “showgirl” Trudy running into the apartment. She’s just had a terrifying experience, and since Saffron mentioned her man’s a vampire hunter, Trudy thought Blade could help.

    We then get a flashback with terrible narration from Trudy. Wolfman’s really bad at writing it. And it’s interminable. You know Tomb’s masterfully paced because Wolfman can have a sixty-two-page flashback in a nineteen-page story and have it be immediately forgotten and forgiven when the action gets going again. There’s a magnificent running fight sequence between Blade and Dracula (in bat form) through the streets of London, with Dracula’s wonderfully petty and spiteful narration accompanying.

    There are a couple other diversions, both problematic as hellfire. First, Taj goes home to India to visit his wife and smack her around a bit because, you know, wives. Then Shiela Whittier, Dracula’s new familiar, moons over him while he’s out eating, making excuses for his professed evil plans.

    I mean, great art on those scenes—Colan’s so good at the visual pacing, which is essential with the moody style—but it’s clear why Wolfman doesn’t understand he’s writing Frank Drake as a dipshit white guy.

    And, yet, Tomb succeeds. Despite its definite failings, Tomb succeeds. Wolfman’s Dracula writing and Colan and Palmer’s art, how can it not?

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