I wish Boom! would appropriately label their Christian comics so I don’t read them by mistake again. In this issue, the previously science-happy Allingham becomes Kirk Cameron. The comic should have ended with her boobs being smaller, as to be more Christian. They could have made her look like Melissa Joan Hart or something.

If all The Unknown‘s mysteries are answered with religious malarky, what’s the point in reading the book. Waid’s not doing anything interesting with it like Ennis or Moore do, he’s just using it as a solution, which is why it ought to be on the Boom! Christian imprint.

Boom!’s always tried to exploit the cultural zeitgeist, but come on… Christian Fundies are so three years ago–remember the Mel Gibson doesn’t believe in gravity bit from “Family Guy”?

Waid completely eighty-sixes the first issue’s ground situation.

I can’t wait for the creationist issue.

Now it’s Indiana Jones, complete with hopping on a moving truck full of ancient relics and having a showdown with a purportedly three hundred-year-old man who’s on a holy mission.

The first issue in the series in no way sets the book up as a mystical, sci-fi thingy; it was a mystery, science comic. Allingham’s character changes once again, this time from master detective to pulp hero (her cleavage stays the same, however, and is just as silly as before), and those changes raise the question of Waid’s intent for the book, not to mention his interest level.

It’s not about the characters–he’s willy nilly between Allingham and Doyle and their chemistry is awful–it’s not about the case–he changes it from real to supernatural at the drop of a hat–so it’s just about keeping, presumably, someone interested in the story’s revelations.

He fails.

Ok, I’m still not sold on the series–it’s way too simplistic and way too contrived–Allingham might be the most obnoxious protagonist to a comic I’ve ever read, Waid seems to be going out of his way to make her unlikable, but it’s not like Doyle (get it, Arthur Conan) is much better. Boom! likes doing comics about big muscle men (the last one I “read” was 2 Guns) who lack any humanity. The whole thing seems a tad overcompensatory. Maybe they want a blond-wigged Vin Diesel in the movie.

Anyway, the ending is fantastic though. Oosterveer gets the uncanny stuff down, it’s the regular parts he has trouble with. I’m still trying to figure out why they decided to make an all brains, all business female protagonist look like a playmate.

The way Oosterveer concentrates on the protagonist’s cleavage, it’s hard to believe anyone listens to her.

This one’s an almost impossible sell to me. It’s Waid doing “The Mentalist,” only with a female main character and an impossible degree of success. Imagine if Sherlock Holmes were so famous and so successful (and so globetrotting) he didn’t have to do the disguise thing.

It’s kind of cute, but in a fake way. There’s no chemistry between the two leads–Holmes, sorry, Christine Allingham is a little less human than a Terminator without human skin and her sidekick, Doyle, is apparently being drawn so they can cast the Rock in the movie version.

The art’s pretty lame–Oosterveer veers between cheesecake and cartoon. The whole thing reminds me of The Maze Agency mixed with Mister X, but without any of either series’ charm. Allingham solves the mysteries in an obnoxious manner–wait, it’s more like she’s Batman, but without a secret identity.

Waid’s “crime” comics are always disappointing.