Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #246

Slsh246

It’s half an excellent issue. The first story is a big success, an And Then There Were None type mystery set at a research hospital on Mercury. It’s the done-in-one feature. The second story’s a little shorter, but with the cliffhanger. Unfortunately, it’s also kind of bad. The writing’s not terrible, but the art falls apart during the big fight scene, and the story can’t recover. The pacing’s all off.

What’s strange is both stories have half the same art team; Joe Staton pencils the feature, and he pencils the backup. Only on the feature, he’s got Dick Giordano inking, which makes the art look nearer Gil Kane or Carmine Infantino than anything else, and quite good. The expressions on Phantom Girl are terrible, but otherwise, the art’s aces. On the backup, Murphy Anderson inks Staton. While Anderson’s inks aren’t Giordano’s by any stretch, they’re better than last time. But once the action starts, Staton’s layouts start crapping out, and Anderson’s inks aren’t any help. It’s fascinating to see the two examples of different inkers consecutively, but it would’ve been much better if Giordano had inked both stories.

Paul Levitz gets a credit on both: the feature’s plot and the backup’s script. Len Wein scripts the feature. It’s a good mystery with a solid sense of humor. It opens with a mini-mystery—the Legion lost track of Karate Kid after the previous issue’s big battle, and it turns out he’s in the medical lab on Mercury. Except people only go there when they’ve got a terminal disease. It’s unclear why the lab is on Mercury—the doctors are insect people who aren’t native to the planet—so maybe part of the research involves saunas.

After the heroes discover what Karate Kid’s actually doing there, one of the doctors asks if they can investigate missing persons. Insects, actually. It becomes an engaging mix of mystery and action, with the solution not entirely unexpected but well-told. Wein’s got great pacing and does an excellent job with the investigating without feeding the reader red herring. There are actual good clues throughout.

It’s an impressive story; as I was reading it, I kept hoping it’d somehow go on for the whole issue, even though a cover blurb promised the backup. So I hoped they’d have Giordano inking on it too.

Nope.

The second story is about how Legion villains The Fatal Five accidentally reformed and started shepherding a developing planet. Naturally, they want to join the Federation or the Union or whatever it’s called. Except no one trusts them because they call themselves the Fatal Five, so the Legion has to go investigate this new planet.

Superboy leads the team.

Levitz also structures it as something of a mystery, but not as well as Levitz does in the feature; the two stories contrast on multiple levels.

There’s an okay reveal (kind of out of “Star Trek”) and then a big action scene. The action’s not good. It’s also a dramatically inert action sequence and probably reductive (we won’t find out until next issue).

So half a good comic. But, wow, what a good first half.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #245

Slsh245

Maybe I need to be more invested in the big villain reveal—it’s Mordru, who’s some kind of space wizard who the Legion always foils. He talks a lot and has no weaknesses other than being buried underground. Only four Legionnaires are left to take him on—Superboy, Karate Kid, Lightning Lad, and Saturn Girl. Last issue, I thought Saturn Girl was the science police officer who’d been trying to warn everyone; nope. That officer never comes back in the issue, so no one has to learn to listen to lady science cops.

The four heroes have to figure out how to beat Mordru, who’s commanding an invading army of a million Khurds on Earth. Mordru’s mind control powers seem limitless, with a couple of pages dedicated to recapping how he was controlling x, y, and z in the last five or six issues of Superboy and the Legion. He’s just an infinitely powerful villain. There’s nothing else to him. His goal is just to destroy Earth for revenge against the Legion. It’s not particularly interesting.

After their initial escape, Superboy gets temporarily brainwashed—that magic weakness—and there’s a fight scene with Karate Kid. It’s pretty silly. I don’t know if it’s because of Karate Kid’s giant lapels or the tropical island setting, but it’s not particularly exciting. Then the superheroes’ plan for taking on Mordru is also visually wanting. They’ve got to free the entire captive Legion… it might just be the mix of Staton and Anderson. Maybe the visuals would be better with different inking, but also maybe not.

There’s not a lot of dramatic weight to the story. Of course, in the background, there’s still the intergalactic peace process or whatever, but it’s not part of the main story. It’s like writer Paul Levitz ran out of creative angles for the story and instead did a superhero team versus villain story.

The epilogue’s got a significant potential development for the Legion going forward, but it’s mostly just an excuse for Staton and Anderson to draw the whole team together, which isn’t visually impressive. That exceptionally minor charm Staton’s art had in the previous issue must’ve been because of the Joe Giella inks. Does Anderson sap the energy, or is there just no energy to such a lackluster conclusion?

It’s hard to go from future sci-fi superhero war comic to just a wizard.

Though, again, maybe it’s different if you’re invested in Mordru. But Levitz doesn’t do anything to suggest one ought to be either.

Eh.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #244

Slsh244

There’s no messing around here: writer Paul Levitz is doing a future sci-fi superhero war comic, which is one heck of a flex. He’s even doing it with Joes Staton and Giella art. The art’s nowhere near as bad as I thought it’d be when I saw Staton’s name; the layouts are fine. At their best, Staton and Giella’s faces look like bland teenagers from an Archie comic. Well, except the girls. Sometimes they put effort into the girls’ faces. There’s some lousy art for sure, but Staton does work on it. There’s a whole lot of action in a variety of settings.

The previous issue ended with a cliffhanger promising this issue would reveal the mysteries of Earthwar, which it indeed does, but without much (if any) fanfare. Levitz is too busy with the story to slow down for the reveals.

The issue opens with the remaining Legionnaires headed to Earth, led by Wildfire (and Superboy). Why Superboy, who’s going to grow up into planet-juggling Silver Age Superman, can’t take out the invading alien army on his own….

Doesn’t matter.

The opening’s a little rocky, with Dawnstar having good ideas and Wildfire being, like, too surprised. And Superboy being dismissive about it. She’s not even being her usual elitist mercenary self. But they quickly listen to her and solve one part of the Earthwar mystery—identifying a mystery bad guy. They don’t clear all the other suspects, though, making things interesting even if the comic loses track of that outstanding thread.

Levitz shoehorns in some solutions throughout. He’s already introduced the retired Legionnaires—the two married couples—coming to Earth to try to save the day, and they get a big, good sequence for themselves. I’m not sure I’ve ever actually read a comic with Bouncing Boy before (outside Who’s Who), but he kicks ass this issue, which is a hoot and is kind of Staton’s most distinct action.

But Levitz already hinted at their involvement; Karate Kid shows up from the past to help out and is almost immediately indispensable to the story, while characters who’d had some previous importance are on ice.

They’re not even imaginative enough to call narrative tricks, so maybe just contrivances, but they’re mere potholes in the greater story. It’s a thrilling read.

The ending’s got another big reveal… oh, wait a second, that unnamed, pretty albeit otherwise indistinguishable fighting lady is the science police officer from before? They go a little too fast bringing her in, but she should be there for the big reveal. But before the big reveal, there’s another seemingly big reveal. It’s an okay cliffhanger—maybe it’d mean more if I knew the context—but a breather would be nice after the intense issue.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #243

Slsh243

The issue opens with that female Science Police officer from a few issues ago thinking her way through an exposition dump. It’s Earthwar! Though they never call it Earthwar (one of the stories was called, Prelude to Earthwar). She’s been hanging out in Legion headquarters watching all the reports come in: Wildfire, Dawnstar, and supporting players are on Weber’s World where the Federation (what’s it called) is negotiating with the Dominators. There are terrorist attacks, and the Federation diplomat’s super-duper suspicious.

Then Superboy, Mon-El, and their supporting cast have been to the Khurd homeworld to try to stop their invasion of Earth from the source, only to discover it ties into the Weber’s World plot. Meanwhile, the Science Police officer thinks she’s got the answer to both questions, only no one listened to her when she tried to tell them someone’s escaped. Not who’s escaped, because there’s another issue to the arc at least, but one of their old foes.

With that thought, exit stage left, no idea if the Legion boys will ever acknowledge they should’ve listened to her, lady or not.

The rest of the issue is a tautly executed espionage and war thriller. The Dominators arrive on Weber’s World—I was wondering if they were the eighties Invasion! Dominators; they are indeed the same aliens, but Todd MacFarlane drew them in Invasion!, and this issue has art from Joe Staton and Jack Abel. It takes a lot to prefer Todd, but, yep… Staton and Abel are low enough he wins.

Anyway. They’re trying to get the negotiations going, but they want the Legionnaires there to provide security, meaning Earth’s got to fend for itself. Various groups of Legionnaires, including the Legion of Substitute Heroes, try to stave off the invaders, but they keep failing, one after another. It’s incredibly tense, with writer Paul Levitz going ahead with a full-scale invasion of Earth and the Earthlings’ lose story.

It’s pretty dang cool, wanting art or not. Back with the diplomatic thriller, the heroes are trying to prevent assassinations and kidnappings, unable to trust anyone but themselves. It’s good too. The plotting this issue’s outstanding. Ditto the scene writing once Levitz gets going. He stumbles through a lot of the exposition, particularly with the Science Police officer at the beginning, but he gets passed it eventually.

The finale’s appropriately grim but also playful, with the next issue teaser panel promoting readers to solve the mystery with some provided clues. Great tone.

Shame about the art.

Every time it seems like Staton and Abel are going to do an okay couple panels, it goes wrong. It’s a real shame Levitz didn’t get the excellent art team (James Sherman and Bob McLeod) on this script; it deserves them. But the script’s also good enough to overcome some iffy writing and some bad art.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #242

Slsh242

The feature opens with Legion leader Wildfire yelling at the “camera” about war. He’s actually yelling at the probably corrupt officials sabotaging a diplomatic conference, and Wildfire’s team is picking up the pieces after terror attacks. The last issue ended with Brainiac 5, off on another mission, saying war on Earth was imminent. They’re not talking about the same war. It’s a quick, sensational red herring before the Legionnaires storm off to drop some exposition about what’s going on, specifically the probably corrupt officials.

It quickly turns into Ultra Boy making a suggestion and Wildfire dismissing him for talking out of turn. No one can question Legion leader Wildfire, which sycophant mercenary Dawnstar backs up. It’s a hell of a flex from Wildfire and Dawnstar, considering Wildfire’s never right, and most stories involve the rest of the cast having to prove him wrong before he’ll actually help. Ultra Boy blows up at Dawnstar about that very situation, which is welcome self-awareness from writer Paul Levitz.

I’m ready for anything with Legion of Super-Heroes, but “teens can’t work together, actually” was not on my bingo card.

Especially since Ultra Boy immediately proves his point in the argument, stopping another terror attack, which just casts more suspicion on the adults.

The action then cuts to Earth, where the other Legion team has arrived to fight the space war. Lots and lots of great superhero action art from James Sherman and Bob McLeod. The feature story’s art is spectacular, page and panel after page and panel.

Levitz does a good job rushing through the space battle so he can get to a more containable storyline. Superboy’s going to lead a team to the invaders’ home planet to try to stop the attack. The Khurds are attacking; they’ll turn out to be humans who look like punks. Wildfire’s diplomatic mission involves the Dominators, who still don’t make an appearance; it’s more about the adult Earthlings conspiring to attack them while they’re unprepared. Probably. Levitz has to amp up the suspicious behavior while delaying the resolution.

Coincidentally, it turns out Superboy and company’s mission relates to Wildfire and company’s mission. Who’d have thunk?

There’s also some more “teens can’t work together” when Brainiac 5 decides he should be in charge because he’s the smartest. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have Dawnstar along to parrot him, so everyone quickly dismisses his idea. I thought he might go on to a subplot about that science cop who showed up with a message last issue, which Brainy ignored because girls can’t have important messages, but no… if it’s going to come back, it’s not going to be in this issue.

The art’s really, really good, and the story’s fairly engaging. So any contrived plot machinations are worth it for the art.

Then the backup’s a lot better than I was expecting. It’s too long at fourteen pages, especially since they’re panel-packed pages, but it’s better than scripter Paul Kupperberg’s previous entry. Levitz gets the story credit; Arvell Jones and Danny Bulandi are on the art. They can’t compare to the feature, but they clearly put in the work on this one.

It’s a Silver Age story done Bronze Age. Female Legionnaires Dream Girl, Light Lass, Princess Projectra, and Shadow Lass are having a girls’ night out (the story’s title, too), and their dinner gets interrupted by some bad guys. The bad guys hold everyone hostage while other bad guys pull off a series of heists around the city. Will the Legionnaires be able to outsmart them?

The plot’s predictable and loses momentum after the Legionnaires split up for their individual adventures, but it’s not bad. But there’s something off about Superboy and the Legion’s feature and backup balance; maybe if the backup needs more room, it should get it instead of Jones cramming every page.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #241

Slsh241

Writer Paul Levitz’s A, B, and C plot structuring from Legion of Super-Heroes is famously good, so I’m really hoping what he’s doing in this issue is figuring that system out. The feature story starts with one plot—Mon-El and Wildfire leading a diplomatic mission—switches over to another with Brainiac 5 and Superboy—while both teams ignore a female science police trying to give them an important message.

Why do they ignore her? Well, because if it was important, they’d have sent a man, wouldn’t they?

That exceptional sexism comes from Brainiac 5 (having Brainiac 5 be a twelfth-level intellect who’s also a misogynist is unfortunate) and isn’t even the first jerk store move from the Legion in the story. It starts with Wildfire ignoring the science cop’s flying car and almost causing her to crash. Mon-El goes to save her, thinking about Wildfire’s infinite jerkiness but doesn’t hear the science cop try to give him her message. Apparently, Daxamite super-hearing isn’t as good as Kryptonian.

Mon-El then returns to space, where Wildfire blames the accident he caused on the science cop. At least he doesn’t make a lady drivers joke.

The science cop then goes to Legion headquarters, where an emergency calls them away (here’s where Brainy says the lady cop isn’t important enough to have a real message).

Mon-El’s team’s story is about doing security on a diplomacy planet. After an attack, the Legionnaires start suspecting there might be an inside job component to the attack, and then the story cuts away to Superboy’s team never to return. Starting a plot and putting it on pause isn’t the same as back burnering. Though, one last thing on that plot: Dawnstar. They established her as an elitist mercenary last issue, but she’s naive about corruption in this issue. Levitz only plotted that issue, didn’t script, but still, it’s incongruous and seems like it’s just there for Wildfire to be a justified dick to Dawnstar.

I mean, at least there’s some effort in the justifying.

The Superboy and company plot is about some space raiders they’re fighting and exposing the vacuum of space. Eventually, Chameleon Boy gets captured and interrogated by the floating brain thing on the cover. It’s a rather effective scene, maybe because Chameleon Boy’s entirely sympathetic. But, unfortunately, it seems like everyone else comes with a caveat this issue or is just such an ass they’re not sympathetic at all.

So the feature’s got three cliffhangers—the science cop’s urgent message, Mon-El’s diplomatic intrigue, Brainiac 5 uncovering an imminent attack on Earth (the story’s called Prologue to Earthwar. It’s entirely unclear if the imminent attack has anything to do with the first two cliffhangers; it may and would technically utilize Levitz’s plotting system, but it’d be in the cheapest possible way.

All those problems aside, however, the art’s by James Sherman and Bob McLeod and is gorgeous. They’ve got similar faces for everyone in close-up, but they’re good, expressive faces and more than the story needs. The action scenes are where the art excels; the movement and figure work are phenomenal. For superhero art, Sherman and McLeod are unstoppable. And more than enough to cover the iffy aspects of Levitz’s script.

Unfortunately, the art in the back-up’s nowhere near good enough to cover the script. It’s a Levitz plot, Paul Kupperberg script, Arvell Jones on pencils, Danny Bulanadi on inks. Jones and Bulanadi put in the work, especially on the sci-fi setting, but I don’t think even Sherman and McLeod could make the story palatable. It’s an endless twelve pages about Timber Wolf and Light Lass going to her home planet to help recapture her criminal brother, Lightning Lord, and it’s an excruciating bore.

There’s still some sexism to round out the experience between stories, with Light Lass a helpless damsel as her macho boyfriend, Timber Wolf (I’m not understanding the Legion’s policy on marriage now if all the Legionaries date amongst themselves), does all the work. Including strong-arming the local law enforcement into letting him destroy the planet and assault civilians. Seemingly innocent ones, as it turns out.

Kupperberg fills the pages with the exposition, all of it bad. It’s a grueling read.

I’m sure some Legionaries aren’t complete assholes, but apparently, Levitz never wants to do stories about them.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #240

Slsh240

So Howard Chaykin doing layouts of a teen superhero book without being pervy. All the dudes look about forty-five. It’s hilarious. It’s not good, but it’s hilarious. There’s only one female Legionnaire in the story—Phantom Girl—who’s not as scantily clad as Cosmic Boy, so not the salacious Chaykin one might expect. Also, he’s just doing layouts (over Alan Kupperberg’s layouts, according to Kupperberg), with Bob Wiacek finishing. And maybe Al Milgrom, who’s got editor credit, doing more inks (according to Milgrom, not the credits).

Not good art. Like. There are some cool ideas for visuals—Colossal Boy holding up a bridge and various future stuff—but it’s a patriarchal decorum story set in a cool-looking sci-fi future. The patriarchal decorum thing is the subtext; the main plot is about a bad guy named “Grimbor the Chainsman” hunting down the Legion because they locked up his lady love, Charma (whose power was to charm men), and she died in prison. Because they put her in a lady jail and ladies hate Charma; the power she had over men worked in reverse over ladies. Everyone’s really boringly straight in the future.

Including Cosmic Boy, who’s bummed out because he misses the Legionnaires who just got married and left. He’ll never get married and leave, though, he assures Superboy, who’s all up in his business; Legion over ladies.

Superboy and Phantom Girl have that patriarchal decorum thing going; he wants to make sure Cosmic Boy’s not lollygagging over missed friends and failed romances. If you’re going to be a Legionnaire, your head’s got to be in the game. Meanwhile, Phantom Girl’s made at Colossal Boy about something he did last issue, and her subplot is about not being allowed to have feelings if they go against the boys.

Cool.

Jack C. Harris scripts from Paul Levitz’s plot. The plot’s better than the script, though only slightly. After spending the issue setting up a second part, they wrap it up in a few pages anyway, so there’s at least a wasted page forecasting a future adventure. They’ve also got the problem the bad guy’s got a real motive–shame it was too early for them to call the story The Wrath of Grimbor. The “chainsman” stuff is weird, though maybe it’s all a metaphor for a bunch of vanilla straights bullying bondage enthusiasts.

And the story comments on how Legionnaires are cast based on how their powers will combine to resolve plot points, which is a little on the nose.

The backup, however, is a visual delight. James Sherman on pencils, Bob McLeod on inks, it’s absolutely gorgeous. The art sustains for the whole story, all twelve pages, with some standouts even on the last page. It’s great-looking superhero art, just phenomenal.

The story’s about how Dawnstar’s a stuck-up b-word who needs to learn to play well with others. She’s one of those uppity Native American descendants gone to space who became navigational mercenaries, and she’s only in the Legion because she gets paid. She’s not some nerd who wants to be a superhero.

She and three other trainees need to go on a real mission, only she’s pissed everyone off, and no one wants to work with her. Will she survive on her own? Will she learn a valuable lesson about teamwork?

What’s funny is how the setup for Dawnstar being the focus is team leader and trainee trainer Wildfire asking her out on a date. Mind you, he’s a complete asshole in addition to not having a physical form outside his super-suit. So there’s a considerable power dynamic thing going on, but, obviously, the comic will not acknowledge it. Please.

Again, truly great art, so it doesn’t matter. Levitz plots, Paul Kupperberg scripts. The dialogue’s much better than the feature. Not great—it’s also not a great dramatic arc—but much better.

That Sherman and McLeod art, however, is divine.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #239

Slsh239

I went into this issue doubly hesitant because it’s about Ultra Boy being framed for murdering his ex-girlfriend, An Ryd, and I avoid Ayn Rand fans. Maybe it’s just the letters; maybe there’s no connection. Or just a name familiarity one. The character’s barely in the comic, just long enough to double-cross Ultra Boy and then get double-crossed by her actual murderer.

The issue’s got those frustrating layout and finisher credits—Jim Starlin did the plot and layouts, Paul Levitz gets a plot assist and dialogue credit (which I assume also means exposition boxes), and then Joe Rubinstein gets the finished art credit. Based on how the faces never sit on right the faces in anything but close-ups, it sure seems like Rubinstein got the inglorious task of drawing the faces on Starlin’s empty heads. As a result, Mon-El and Superboy don’t just look the same; they look the same, with their faces sliding off in the same way.

The close-ups are good, though. And it’s mostly just the crowd shots where there are problems.

Overall, it’s a solid enough issue. The Legion tries to bring Ultra Boy in before the Science Police get him, only he wants to prove he’s innocent. He’s got a big escape—where Levitz nicely reminds readers Ultra Boy can only use one power at once—and then he’s got to go underground, which allows an editor’s note to last issue’s reprint. There’s another editor’s note about the last time the Legion was on trial for something, only four issues ago… is the framed Legionnaire plot the most common in the book, I wonder.

Although Ultra Boy can escape the Legion heavyweights, he’s not ready for Chameleon Boy to have done his homework on possible safe houses. It quickly turns into a manhunt and target plot for the Legion and Ultra Boy, but then a detective subplot for Chameleon Boy. They come together nicely at the end, resolving things well enough for a good cliffhanger and the promise of future repercussions.

Some of the characters are red herring suspicious, with the actual reveal being a cheat where the comic kept vital information from the reader. It’s okay—the surprise is decent—but it works slightly against the Chameleon Boy subplot.

The issue mixes things up nicely, though if two issues from now it’s just another renegade Legionnaire, it’ll be disappointing. Also, how do you do character development when you’ve got fifteen characters in crisis every issue? Even when the issue implies a character having some thoughtfulness, there’s never anyway followup. Even protagonist Ultra Boy ends up real shallow.

But still, the mystery’s engaging enough to get it through.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #238

Slsh238

This issue reprints a couple Adventure Comics from 1967, written by a sixteen-year-old Jim Shooter, proving he was better at writing comics in his teens than in his thirties. Though I’m sure there’s an abundance of evidence on that one.

Shooter also does the layouts, with Curt Swan penciling and George Klein inking. The art looks pretty much like every other competently produced Silver Age comic. The story’s about the new president of Earth declaring the Legion of Super-Heroes a youth gang and banning them; the Legion only finds out about it when they get back to Earth from missions in space, saving countless lives.

Some Legionnaires get arrested quickly; others go on the run and become fugitives as they try to discover what’s gone wrong with their world in just a few days.

The plot’s amusingly similar to a recent one where time travel changed the future, and no one believed Superboy when he told them they were all acting differently. Maybe they should’ve remembered they’d had this similar adventure.

Though Superboy’s barely in this issue, and Supergirl makes far more of an impact. The sixties Legion didn’t have the scantily clad superhero wear (for boys or girls), but they also didn’t even pretend to count the female Legionnaires as regular members. It’s a boys club and feels very much like a teenage boy wrote it.

Because one did.

It’s a little belabored (this one double-sized issue collects two old issues), and the reveals aren’t surprising–except when Shooter apparently creates the “meddling kids” reveal from “Scooby-Doo” two years before the first cartoon aired—but it’s not terrible. On the contrary, it’s precisely what you’d expect from a Silver Age comic book.

Swan and Klein don’t do a lot with the future setting, but it looks enough like Flash Gordon (the 1930s serials but with the limitless comic budget) to amuse.

It’s also interesting to see how Shooter worked out solutions based on powers but without the thoughtfulness of current series writer Paul Levitz.

Not quite interesting enough to make me glad I read the issue instead of skipping ahead, but I also don’t regret it.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #237

Slsh237

This issue is weird. The story’s weird, and the issue’s weird. The story’s weird because it’s about the Legion committing numerous intergalactic crimes because their financial benefactor is in danger. The issue’s weird because, well, the art is… lacking.

And the art’s from Walt Simonson and Jack Abel. I’m not the most well-read on Simonson, but I know he’s not supposed to remind you of Rob Liefeld, so maybe it’s Abel’s inks. Because the faces are all bad, but then about half the figures are bad too. Like, giant muscles and hands and little heads with too small faces on them. The only decent panels are the superhero team long shots. Otherwise, it’s a high-grade eyesore.

Also, the spaceship design—the stuff new to the issue because there’s a callback to Mon-El’s story last issue—looks like “Star Trek.” Like Klingon ships from “Star Trek,” just without thoughtful nacelles.

Now on to the story.

The Legion is gathered to have a retirement party for Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl, who have to quit because they’re married. They’re barely in the story—just in the first of the six chapters—and they get so little to do or say, it’s like writer Paul Levitz is avoiding them.

They fly off on their own, and the Legion financier, intergalactic businessman R.J. Brande, has a moment before little drones attack him. Brande looks a little like Harry Mudd from “Star Trek: The Animated Series.” The silly mustache.

Anyway. Some guy’s out to kill Brande for bankrupting his family, and he’s holding him hostage unless the Legion goes and steals three artifacts. He says it’s to rebuild his family fortune, but it’s really to destroy the galaxy or something.

It doesn’t occur to the Legion they should be suspicious of the villain’s story until the last chapter, which is part of the weirdness. The story’s weird in its thoughtlessness like Levitz was phoning in the plotting.

The first quest is a relatively simple follow-up to Mon-El’s adventure last issue. This team of Legionnaires has to fight space pirates. It’s also where there’s some really figure drawing on Superboy; just really bad. It’s a strange sequel to the story last issue because that one was all Mon-El reflecting on the adventure as he did his thing. This time he’s got pals, and there’s just a lot of talking. It’s easily the most successful, story-wise, of the quests.

Because the second quest has three female Legionnaires breaking into the Legion base, where team leader Wildfire and Princess Projectra have to stand guard. Princess Projectra is giving Wildfire shit for not being human anymore and, therefore, a big buzzkill. Kind of mean. Then Shadow Lass comes in and whines about how she only joined the Legion to meet a husband, but it’s a ruse for her compatriots to steal something.

From their team.

Instead of… telling them what’s going on. Though given how shitty they are to each other, I mean, would you want to talk to them if you didn’t have to?

The third quest has that Legion team assaulting a less advanced but still spacefaring species. Making fun of their appearances as they do.

All this shitty intergalactic behavior from the Legion—as far as they know—is to save their wealthy benefactor. So the people they assault, the things they break, the things they steal, all that damage is okay because their patron is in danger.

Sure, the whole galaxy or solar system or whatever is in actual danger, but they don’t know that detail. Apparently, the Legion’s motto is “the richer you are, the more people we’re willing to hurt for you.”

The jerk store behavior and the bad art do not make for a good read.