Planet of the Apes: Blood of the Apes 2 (December 1991)

Artists Darren Goodhart and Bruce McCorkindale find an interesting way to be faithful to the source material. Their apes look like people wearing cheap masks. Instead of embracing the limitless possibilities, Goodhart and McCorkindale maybe have the “cheapest” ape design I’ve seen in an Apes comic.

Mann’s script continues to be Blood’s biggest problem though. Here he starts (or maybe he started last issue and I just blocked it) using thought balloons for his protagonist ape bounty hunter. These thought balloons are probably Mann’s worst writing, which is quite a feat, since there aren’t a great deal of them. It’s usually the protagonist making some obvious observation or Mann uses them for exposition.

This series, it turns out, ties into not just the regular Apes series, but also Urchak’s Folly. Mann reminds suffering readers the branding duped them into this bad investment.

It doesn’t even have a good cliffhanger.

The Winning Season (2009, James C. Strouse)

The Winning Season mentions Hoosiers at one point, which is good. It’s set in Indiana, it’s a basketball movie about an underdog team… there needs to be a Hoosiers reference. But it’s not Hoosiers with a girls basketball team, because it’s not really about the games.

Strouse’s approach is traditional. Take a lovable alcoholic misanthropic schmuck–Sam Rockwell–and let him redeem himself throughout the running time of the film as he discovers he’s capable of being a positive in someone else’s life. In this case, a girls basketball team.

What The Winning Season has going for it is a director who knows how to direct conversation scenes (the games are never vibrant–but it’d be out of place here), a really good script (the girls are a little tame off court, except Rooney Mara, who’s shacking up with a forty-something shoe salesman) and Rockwell. It’s maybe not Rockwell’s most dynamic, searching performance, but it’s Rockwell with a good script. It’s amazing acting.

He gets a lot of support from the supporting cast. None of the basketball team girls are bad. Meaghan Witri and Emily Rios are probably the best besides Mara, who gets lucky have the most drama. Emma Roberts is okay, nothing more. She’s affable.

Rob Corddry is really good here. I usually find him annoying, not here. It’s just a solid performance. Really nice work here from Margo Martindale too.

It’s a surprisingly good film. Having Rockwell helps a lot, but Strouse does an excellent job.

3/4 ★★★

CREDITS

Written and directed by James C. Strouse; director of photography, Frank G. DeMarco; edited by Joe Klotz; music by Ed Shearmur; production designer, Stephen Beatrice; produced by Kara Baker, Galt Niederhoffer, Celine Rattray, Daniela Taplin Lundberg and Gia Walsh; released by Lionsgate.

Starring Sam Rockwell (Bill), Emma Roberts (Abby), Rob Corddry (Terry), Emily Rios (Kathy), Rooney Mara (Wendy), Jessica Hecht (Stacey), Connor Paolo (Damon), Meaghan Witri (Tamra), Melanie Hinkle (Mindy), Shana Dowdeswell (Molly), Vanessa Gordillo (Flor), Shareeka Epps (Lisa) and Margo Martindale (Donna).


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Justice League Dark 2 (December 2011)

Strangely, I don’t care about any of Justice League Dark‘s significant problems. It’s got Janin on the art still and he’s still fantastic, so it can pretty much be about anything. And Milligan isn’t going to write anything offensive. It might get bad, but it won’t offend on any level other than wasting time.

But there’s Janin’s art, so Dark can’t be a waste of time.

Now, it is interesting what a big part Deadman plays here. He’s got this book, DC Universe and Hawk & Dove. I’d hate to think DC is overexposing him just because there’s a TV show in the works.

Sadly, Milligan writes Deadman like he’s a Seth Rogen character. He always begging Dove for sex… and considering she’s not even on the team, it’s strange she gets more page time than the erstwhile principals.

Still, Dove by Janin is awesome.

Dark‘s both bad and wonderful.

CREDITS

In the Dark, Part Two: Dark Matter; writer, Peter Milligan; artist, Mikel Janin; colorist, Ulises Arreola; letterer, Rob Leigh; editor, Rex Ogle; publisher, DC Comics.

The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (1946, Robert Clampett)

Is that Porky Pig cameoing in The Great Piggy Bank Robbery? I kept expecting him to be revealed as the big villain.

The story concerns Daffy Duck getting clomped on the head and imagining himself in a Dick Tracy adventure. Now, for Tracy fans, there’s a lot to see, including some inventive takes on the villains. But it’s actually pretty tame for everyone else.

Some of the problem is the animation. Piggy looks like it was done, for the most part, on the cheap. For the first half, it’s mostly just Daffy by himself, acting wacky. In this wackiness, his body contorts to extraordinary proportions. There’s little point to it… unless Clampett was just trying to keep the cartoon active.

Since it’s clearly a dream, the payoff has to be in the dream sequence—and there are a couple decent gags—but overall, it fails.

Piggy is way too loose.

1/3 Not Recommended

CREDITS

Directed by Robert Clampett; written by Warren Foster; animated by Rob Scribner, Bill Melendez, Manny Gould and Izzy Ellis; edited by Treg Brown; music by Carl W. Stalling; produced by Edward Selzer; released by Warner Bros.

Starring Mel Blanc (Daffy Duck).


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Planet of the Apes: Blood of the Apes 1 (November 1991)

So this terrible comic book is about what I was expecting from Adventure’s Apes franchise.

At least the flagship series started well, even if it did eventually go to pot. Blood of the Apes starts in the pot and kind of just stirs around a little.

Because they’re based on an existing franchise, I accept there are a number of constraints to an Apes comic book. But writer Roland Mann’s solution isn’t to be inventive within those restraints, it’s to break them. Here, he breaks that cardinal rule–ape shall not kill ape. His protagonist in Blood is a bounty hunter who loves killing apes. Man-lovers, but still apes.

But this development breaks one of the agreements of the franchise, turning Blood into a lazy knock-off. Actually, it turns it into fan-fic, not a professional, licensed tie-in.

Anyway, crappy writing, crappy art. It’s a terrible time.

DC Universe Presents 2 (December 2011)

There’s something sadly desperate about DC having werewolves and supernatural social clubs, which this issue of DC Universe Presents reveals. They’re now trying to attract the Twilight audience.

It’s so desperate it’s sad.

Also sad is most of Chang’s artwork this issue. About the only character he draws well is Deadman himself, who spends most of the issue jumping from body to body.

Worse, Jenkins’s plotting has gone to the dumps. He wastes a few pages with Deadman and the god Rama, where we and Deadman both know she’s lying to him, but not even giving him tasks lying, just wasting pages lying.

Then Jenkins has to wrap up the rest of last issue’s cliffhanger before Deadman goes on his adventure to the supernatural club. Now, if last issue’s cliffhanger wasn’t important, why put it in a comic? Jenkins’s writing is lazy, unfocused and uninspired.

Universe has plunged in quality.

CREDITS

Twenty Questions, Part Two; writer, Paul Jenkins; artist, Bernard Chang; colorist, Blond; letterer, Dave Sharpe; editor, Wil Moss; publisher, DC Comics.

Safe Men (1998, John Hamburg)

For a stupid comedy, Safe Men is pretty good.

Hamburg’s well-aware of what he’s doing and the film is stupid in a funny way. It’s about, basically, eight men and they’re all pretty dumb to a certain degree. Of the two smartest, one is a kid and the other is Steve Zahn, who’s character is in the film only to make the plot work in the third act.

Zahn and Sam Rockwell are a singing duo who model their dress after barbershop quartets (though there’s only two of them) and do inept low-key covers. The music angle isn’t important other than they’re bad (Hamburg even forgets he was going to bring it back at the end). They end up mistaken for safe crackers, which brings Paul Giamatti and Michael Lerner into the film.

Giamatti, who’s hilarious, plays Lerner’s well-meaning, if idiotic lackey. Lerner’s funny but mostly because of Hamburg’s dialogue (it’s well-written dumb content).

However, in smaller roles as the real safe crackers, Mark Ruffalo (in one of his exception performances) and Josh Pais (good, but no Ruffalo), are in the film as well.

Hamburg structures it around conversations, mostly between the men, usually in pairs (though sometimes Michael Schmidt and Harvey Fierstein show up). Rockwell’s got a love interest—Christina Kirk—and she’s good… only she’s a real person among these moronic, genial men.

Rockwell does a decent job in a difficult part.

Safe Men’s short. It could’ve gone longer, but it would’ve lost something.

2/4 ★★

CREDITS

Written and directed by John Hamburg; director of photography, Michael Barrett; edited by Suzanne Pillsbury and M. Scott Smith; music by Theodore Shapiro; production designer, Anthony Gasparro; produced by Ellen Bronfman, Jeffrey Clifford, Jonathan Cohen and Andrew Hauptman; released by October Films.

Starring Sam Rockwell (Sam), Steve Zahn (Eddie), Michael Lerner (Big Fat Bernie Gayle), Paul Giamatti (Veal Chop), Michael Schmidt (Bernie Jr.), Christina Kirk (Hannah), Mark Ruffalo (Frank), Josh Pais (Mitchell), Harvey Fierstein (Leo) and Michael Showalter (Larry).


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Planet of the Apes: The Sins of the Father 1 (March 1992)

Sins of the Father is pretty darn good for a licensed tie-in.

Mike Valerio’s writing is strong–he mixes a Sherlock Holmes-like investigation into an ape’s death with an explanation of why Maurice Evan’s Zaius is such a tool in the original Planet of the Apes. He also introduces family relationships into the franchise for the first time. It’s neat.

Unfortunately, the art’s wrong. Mitch Byrd is fine artist, but not for an Apes book. Everyone looks cute, whether it’s the gorillas, who are just kind of cute, or the orangutans, who are cuter than Gizmo. It creates a disconnect between the pictures and the words.

But Valerio’s strength isn’t just in his plotting, it’s in how he realizes the society. While it’s not as confined as the movies, it’s also more thoughtful than the majority of Adventure’s comics.

It’s a great tie-in and a good comic.

Wonder Woman 2 (December 2011)

I would love to read Azzarello’s pitch for Wonder Woman. “Let’s see, I’m going to empower women through promiscuity. Oh, and I’m going to have giants!”

This issue manages to burn through all the goodwill I had toward Chiang on the title in a few pages. Wonder Woman, her slutty (sorry, empowered) female charge and Hermes head to Paradise Island. Where we find out the Amazons are so advanced… they can’t even tell who’s invading them.

Then we meet Wonder Woman’s mom and Wonder Woman has a staff duel with some other Amazon. There are white Amazons and black Amazons and who knows what other kinds… I mean, Strife (the giant I mentioned before) is blue.

I thought these people were supposed to be Greeks and Romans.

Azzarello’s take on Wonder Woman is still a big question mark because she’s not an important player in the issue.

It’s rather crappy.

CREDITS

Home; writer, Brian Azzarello; artist, Cliff Chiang; colorist, Matthew Wilson; letterer, Jared K. Fletcher; editors, Chris Conroy and Matt Idelson; publisher, DC Comics.

Planet of the Apes Annual 1 (1991)

At least the art is good. Otherwise, this annual is incredibly stupid. Marshall’s intended audience isn’t fans of the movies or even most of his regular Apes comics. Instead, it’s for fans of monkeys acting like people.

Being a Planet of the Apes annual has nothing to do with any of the stories. Maybe the Adventure Apes comics had problems keeping ape species straight because it doesn’t matter.

This annual has Western, horror, explorer and post-apocalypse stories. None need to have apes in them. Most would probably be better without apes in them.

Marshall did, early in his Apes writing, do a decent job. This annual just shows he was all too willing to forgo setting and science fiction for a gimmick. This annual is like a bad sitcom. Who knows, maybe Fox was pushing to relaunch the franchise as sketch comedy….

Regardless, besides the excellent art, it’s terrible.