• Briefly, TV (Winter 2024)

    All Creatures Great & Small (2020) s04e04 “By the Book” [2023] D: Stewart Svaasand. S: Nicholas Ralph, Samuel West, Anna Madeley, Rachel Shenton, James Anthony-Rose. While the majority of the episode concerns Shenton’s pregnancy fears, new guy Anthony-Rose works on his bedside manner (for the humans, not the animals). And Madeley has a monumental life change she quietly processes.

    All Creatures Great & Small (2020) s04e05 “Papers” [2023] D: Jordan Hogg. S: Nicholas Ralph, Samuel West, Anna Madeley, Rachel Shenton, Will Thorp, Patricia Hodge, James Anthony-Rose. Ralph is finally off to war, but frets about leaving West with no help other than new guy Anthony-Rose. For his part, Anthony-Rose gets the traditional CREATURES onboarding with the adorable Tricki Woo. Meanwhile, Madeley’s smoldering slow burn arc heats up a bit.

    All Creatures Great & Small (2020) s04e06 “The Home Front” [2023] D: Stewart Svaasand. S: Samuel West, Anna Madeley, Rachel Shenton, James Anthony-Rose, Will Thorp, Tony Pitts, Imogen Clawson. The episode feels like something of a rerun–Shenton’s worried about another miscarriage after moving back home with the fam. Meanwhile, Madeley’s got some momentous changes on the horizon (or does she?). It’s nice to see Clawson and Pitts, regardless.

    All Creatures Great & Small (2020) s04e07 “On a Wing and a Prayer” [2023] D: Jordan Hogg. S: Nicholas Ralph, Samuel West, Anna Madeley, Rachel Shenton, James Anthony-Rose, Imogen Clawson, Tony Pitts. Nice Christmas episode about Ralph trying to get home to see Shenton, even if it means he has to go AWOL. Back in town, West and Madeley throw the annual party. It’s a wee patriarchal and they’re in trouble with four more war seasons, but it’s nice.

    Casanova (2005) 3 episodes D: Sheree Folkson. S: Rose Byrne, Peter O’Toole, David Tennant, Laura Fraser, Rupert Penry-Jones, Shaun Parkes, Nina Sosanya. Too long miniseries with old man Casanova O’Toole telling stories of his younger days to maid Byrne. Tennant plays in the flashbacks; he’s cute, but O’Toole gets good, especially when Byrne pushes him. The visible TV budget hurts it. Writer Russell T Davies cast Tennant as DOCTOR WHO based on this part.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e01 “Emergency Caller” D: Jim Loach. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Zoë Wanamaker, Stephen Campbell Moore, Joana Borja, Ian Bonar, Chizzy Akudolu. Black female detective Jumbo comes across evidence of an innocent man in prison, only to find her bosses (and the original detective, Capaldi), don’t want to hear about it. It’s an AppleTV+ prestige outing, pretty and thin. Capaldi’s good enough; Jumbo’s likable if not particularly good.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e02 “Two Calls” D: Jim Loach. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Shaun Dooley, Cathy Tyson, Ian Bonar, Chizzy Akudolu, Andrew Brooke. After an exciting cliffhanger resolution, the episode gets way more self-contained, as Jumbo continues her investigation into top cop Capaldi. The acting’s all good enough (if only just at times), with Capaldi now feeling like a stunt cast. Is the show always going to be so episodic?

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e03 “Kid in the Park” D: Jim Loach. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Shaun Dooley, Zoë Wanamaker, Charlie Creed-Miles, Cathy Tyson, Stephen Campbell Moore. Another episode, another main case, this time a (white) kid hit in a drive-by shooting. The show is quickly just becoming compelling characters in rote copaganda situations, albeit with British accents. Capaldi seems like he’s doing a Pacino impression.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e04 “Protected” D: Jim Loach. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Shaun Dooley, Zoë Wanamaker, Charlie Creed-Miles, Cathy Tyson, Stephen Campbell Moore. The show’s still spinning its wheels, feigning the contemporary murder investigation is important. Capadi’s veering into one note, especially given the serpentine reveals. They all make Capaldi more suspect and Jumbo more of a martyr. Literally.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e05 “Possession with Intent” D: Shaun James Grant. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Shaun Dooley, Zoë Wanamaker, Charlie Creed-Miles, Cathy Tyson, Stephen Campbell Moore. Capaldi’s cronies go after Jumbo’s son and push things over the edge. It’s extraordinarily serious stuff for the show and unclear it can survive the flex. Loads more big reveals and twists too. Some real good acting.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e06 “Beehive” D: Shaun James Grant. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Zoë Wanamaker, Charlie Creed-Miles, Cathy Tyson, Stephen Campbell Moore, Rasaq Kukoyi. It’s the first–and entirely unexpected despite it being the natural conclusion of multiple melodramatic devices–great episode of the show. Perfect amount of tense drama and a capable cast. Capaldi, Jumbo, Tyson, Kukoyi, and Creed-Miles are outstanding. It won’t be as good again.

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e07 “The Sixty-Twos” D: Shaun James Grant. S: Peter Capaldi, Tom Moutchi, Shaun Dooley, Charlie Creed-Miles, Georgina Rich, Cathy Tyson, Mark Weinman. Big reveal flashback episode. Great Capaldi and Moutchi performances, intricate, deliberate scripting. But it is all to excuse racism, knowingly, in copaganda. And the cliffhanger in the present is oddly complacent in continuing it. Only with some misogyny. But maybe they’ll pull it off?

    Criminal Record (2024) s01e08 “Carla” D: Shaun James Grant. S: Peter Capaldi, Cush Jumbo, Shaun Dooley, Charlie Creed-Miles, Georgina Rich, Rasaq Kukoyi, Tom Moutchi. Half excellent, half eh finish. Jumbo and Capaldi are great oil and water cop show partners, except of course… he maybe framed an innocent Black guy. All is revealed, with about four endings too many, and none with the right characters. Real good acting all around, even with the rushed third act.

    Deadwater Fell (2020) 4 episodes D: Lynsey Miller. S: David Tennant, Cush Jumbo, Anna Madeley, Matthew McNulty, Stuart Bowman, Lisa McGrillis, Laurie Brett. It’s an all romance issue. Dracula and Domini talk past each other with agendas and love at first bite. Blade’s girlfriend distracts him from his life-long question. Rachel’s sick of Frank. Harold comes back for some ungodly reason. Speaking of godly, Wolfman goes 100% Christian comic, with Jesus being a visually passive but ostensibly active participant. Blah.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e01 “Rare” D: Marc Webb. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Hugo Diego Garcia, Pardis Saremi, Mandy Patinkin. Attempt at a KNIVES OUT (but with lots of sex) mystery set on a 1%er yacht. Beane’s the adopted poor with a tragic past and an acerbic wit. Once there’s a murder, she gets investigating alongside childhood disappointment Patikin, who failed to solve her mother’s murder. Patikin’s the whole show (once he arrives), Beane’s not ready for the lead, and the whole thing’s desperate.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e02 “Sordid” D: David Petrarca. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Hugo Diego Garcia, Mandy Patinkin, Jere Burns. Slightly better than the first episode, but still a severe lack of charisma from anyone but Patinkin (and Zhou). It doesn’t help the murder victim (Michael Gladis) is the most likable character.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e03 “Troublesome” D: Alrick Riley. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Hugo Diego Garcia, Mandy Patinkin, David Marshall Grant. Patinkin makes every scene good–whether supporting Beane or Linda Emond as the too Swedish Interpol agent–but the plot’s still dull, the style intentionally confounding, and Patten terrible. Just
    embarrassingly terrible.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e04 “Hidden” D: Alrick Riley. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Hugo Diego Garcia, Linda Emond, Mandy Patinkin. There’s about half a really good episode here, by far DEATH’s best. Turns out having likable characters–especially unexpectedly likable characters–helps. Patinkin continues to delight in a part where the performance is the thing. Beane’s getting more comfortable. It’s 40% fine. 35%.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e05 “Exquisite” D: Yangzom Brauen. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Pardis Saremi, Linda Emond, Mandy Patinkin. Beane has a picturesque Maltese date with Kohli while Patinkin teams up with Pardis Saremi to hunt Keyser Sozo. Plus Patten doing business stuff. It’s better than the low but not particularly good. Saremi’s fantastic though. The show hasn’t been good to her.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e06 “Tragic” D: Yangzom Brauen. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Angela Zhou, Pardis Saremi, Linda Emond, Mandy Patinkin. Turns out Patten is a great singer at least. Lots of developments and reveals this episode–no one and nothing as they seem (again)–to get the chairs in order for next episode’s reveals (again). Kohli’s real good, ditto Edmond.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e07 “Memorable” D: James Griffiths. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Mandy Patinkin, David Marshall Grant, Michael Gladis, Jack Cutmore-Scott, Jere Burns. Initially obnoxious stylized flashback episode where Beane reviews Patinkin’s casework all those years ago. It gets real bad at times, partially because concept, partially because Griffiths’s direction is bad. But somehow, it gets through, and all of a sudden, there’s intrigue and compelling situations. With not insignificant caveats but… it works.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e08 “Vanishing” D: James Griffiths. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Angela Zhou, Linda Emond, Mandy Patinkin, Lisa Lu, Jere Burns. The plot dominos are falling at an accelerated rate, making for a packed episode, which jogs back before last episode, runs parallel, then runs subsequent. I’m sure someone thought it was a neat idea, but it’s not. Desperate Wes Anderson-esque direction too. Some real good acting, some bad; it’s Patten’s best episode, another good one for Zhou.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e09 “Impossible” D: Dinh Thai. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Rahul Kohli, Hugo Diego Garcia, Jack Cutmore-Scott, Danny Johnson, Christian Svensson. Beane’s got to do an episode without Patinkin, which actually works out. She’s come a long way on the show (and this episode continues to reveal the writing’s failing her). The passengers are now hostages; really good episode for Johnson, bad one for Cutmore-Smith. And then the cliffhanger reveal is actually a surprise. Multiple ones, in fact.

    Death and Other Details (2024) s01e10 “Chilling” D: Dinh Thai. S: Violett Beane, Lauren Patten, Angela Zhou, Hugo Diego Garcia, Pardis Saremi, Linda Emond, Mandy Patinkin. Yikes, it’s so bad. The episode has lots to resolve–there are a couple decent twists, but it’s mostly atrocious. Beane and Patinkin never even get their due, presumably something for season two, which they very ill-advisedly set up. Every scene ends with a fade-out ending moment, and there are about twenty scenes. It’s exhausting. And awful.

    Doctor Who (2005) s14e00 “The Church on Ruby Road” [2023] D: Mark Tonderai. S: Ncuti Gatwa, Millie Gibson, Michelle Greenidge, Angela Wynter, Gemma Arrowsmith, Anita Dobson. Not great but okay enough outing for new sexy, Black, possibly queer Doctor Gatwa, who continues to be Black, sexy, and possibly queer. The adventure includes on-demand retcons, goblins, skyships, and an iffy new companion, Gibson. Gatwa can hold things together fine, though.

    Echo (2024) s01e01 “Chafa” D: Sydney Freeland. S: Alaqua Cox, Chaske Spencer, Tantoo Cardinal, Devery Jacobs, Cody Lightning, Graham Greene, Vincent D’Onofrio. Spin-off from HAWKEYE show for anti-hero Alaqua Cox, except ECHO’s a DAREDEVIL character so there’s a lengthy setup involving D’Onofrio (and featuring a Charlie Cox cameo as Daredevil) leading up to the events in HAWKEYE. Way too busy front, with the later series setup (Cox going home to Oklahoma) much better. The fighting’s okay, but there’s not enough. Good acting. Panavision aspect’s a tad much.

    Echo (2024) s01e02 “Lowak” D: Sydney Freeland. S: Alaqua Cox, Chaske Spencer, Tantoo Cardinal, Devery Jacobs, Cody Lightning, Graham Greene, Vincent D’Onofrio. Sort of fun episode (fun for ECHO) with Cox trying to get her family onboard with taking on D’Onofrio’s crime empire. Graham Greene’s adorable as Cox’s dad. It’s trope after trope, but it’s fine; they’re setting a low bar and clearing it.

    Echo (2024) s01e03 “Tuklo” D: Catriona McKenzie. S: Alaqua Cox, Chaske Spencer, Tantoo Cardinal, Devery Jacobs, Cody Lightning, Graham Greene, Vincent D’Onofrio. Phenomenal action episode with Cox having to rescue her civilian friends from D’Onofrio’s hitmen. Fantastic direction from McKenzie. It’s just a really good done-in-one. With, apparently, a THIN RED LINE homage.

    Echo (2024) s01e04 “Taloa” D: Sydney Freeland. S: Alaqua Cox, Chaske Spencer, Tantoo Cardinal, Devery Jacobs, Cody Lightning, Graham Greene, Vincent D’Onofrio. Another great episode–probably the series peak given it’s an increase after the previous high–with a bunch of character development for D’Onofrio. He’s outstanding as the show flashes back into his relationship with Cox. Very on it episode.

    Echo (2024) s01e05 “Maya” D: Sydney Freeland. S: Alaqua Cox, Chaske Spencer, Tantoo Cardinal, Devery Jacobs, Cody Lightning, Graham Greene, Vincent D’Onofrio. Incredibly rushed finale centering around the tribe’s powwow, which they’re basically just introducing now. Can Cox defeat D’Onofrio’s hitmen as they crash? Possibly with magic? It’s nicely made, with a weirdly wasted (but also not) last fight. The rush means skipping connecting the dots, which doesn’t help the actors at all.

    The Equalizer (2021) s04e01 “Truth for a Truth” [2024] D: Solvan Naim. S: Queen Latifah, Liza Lapira, Adam Goldberg, Tory Kittles, Laya DeLeon Hayes, Lorraine Toussaint, Ilfenesh Hadera. Latifah quickly wraps up last season’s cliffhanger so she can hunt ex-bestie, back-from-the-dead-and-bad guest star Hadera. Meanwhile, Hayes and Toussaint have a weird day at home worrying about things. The action’s not good, but it’s nice having the whole team together (Kittles hangs out). And Hayes and Toussaint have heart.

    The Equalizer (2021) s04e02 “Full Throttle” [2024] D: Solvan Naim. S: Queen Latifah, Liza Lapira, Adam Goldberg, Tory Kittles, Laya DeLeon Hayes, Lorraine Toussaint, Eden Marryshow. Same bad direction from Naim and some not great writing or acting, but… the show’s trying to introduce a restorative justice angle (without naming it), and it’s interesting. The main plot involves drag racing, diplomats, and diamonds, with a mystery investigation backbone. Then Toussaint’s at home trying to convince Hayes the military’s a bad choice, and it’s a good subplot.

    The Equalizer (2021) s04e03 “Blind Justice” [2024] D: Geoffrey Wing Shotz. S: Queen Latifah, Liza Lapira, Adam Goldberg, Tory Kittles, Laya DeLeon Hayes, Lorraine Toussaint, Marvin Jones III. After a rocky start, the episode evens out okay with a nice guest star turn from Jones as a blind vet who knows the secret to Latifah’s case. Toussaint and Hayes having a delightful casual mystery at an old folks home might be what puts it over (definitely). And the ostensible sincerity helps.

    Grantchester (2014) s08e05 “Episode 5” [2024] D: Martin Smith. S: Robson Green, Tom Brittney, Al Weaver, Tessa Peake-Jones, Kacey Ainsworth, Oliver Dimsdale, Nick Brimble. Partially a pilot for Bradley Hall and Melissa Johns as the lead coppers, while Brittney continues his sad man arc. Weaver’s by far got the most heart here.

    Grantchester (2014) s08e06 “Episode 6” [2024] D: Rob Evans. S: Robson Green, Tom Brittney, Al Weaver, Tessa Peake-Jones, Kacey Ainsworth, Charlotte Ritchie, Nick Brimble. Season finale takes an “all’s well if it ends well” approach to Brittney’s guilt and self-loathing arc, in no small part thanks to Green’s interventions. Some good scenes (finally) for the ladies–Ainsworth, Peake-Jones, Ritchie.

    Inside Job (2021) s01e01 “Unpresidented” D: Pete Michels, Vitaliy Strokous. S: Lizzy Caplan, Clark Duke, Christian Slater, Brett Gelman, John DiMaggio, Tisha Campbell, Bobby Lee. Okay animated comedy about Cognito Inc., the banal office space behind the Deep State. Caplan is the driven woman who doesn’t make enough friends for the white guys, so she’s paired with Duke, a lovable but untalented bro. Slater’s Caplan’s dad, doing the Nicholson impression he’s been mastering since youth. It’s okay. Duke’s a lot better than Caplan, but her writing’s bad.

    Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014) s11e01 “February 18, 2024: Supreme Court” [2024] D: Paul Pennolino. S: John Oliver. Oliver goes after the Supreme Court in general and Clarence Thomas in particular, recapping all the reveals on Thomas’s profound corruption. Oliver’s got a funny potential. If only. There’s also a bit on out-of-touch politicians, but really maybe we just shouldn’t let terrible white people speak in public?

    Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014) s11e02 “February 25, 2024: Pig Butchering” [2024] D: Paul Pennolino. S: John Oliver. Oliver covers “pig butchering,” a successful social engineering scam where the scammers catfish people out of money, except with the added accouterments of crypto currency and the scammers actually being human trafficked hostages. Very humanist take—don’t abuse the hostages in the Global South, Karen. Depressing, worrying, quite good.

    Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (2014) s11e03 “March 3, 2024: Airplanes” [2024] D: Paul Pennolino. S: John Oliver, Rose Byrne, David Costabile, Adam Pally, Roy Wood Jr.. After their latest problems with the FAA, Oliver’s feature is on Boeing and how the company’s fallen apart since a late 1990s merger. Basically, the company’s been cravenly indifferent to safety immediately following the merger. Oliver emphasizes pleading with the company not to be full of shit and kill people. Good luck? The amusing gag commercial has a DAMAGES reunion with Rose Byrne and David Costabile.

    Resident Alien (2021) s03e01 “Lone Wolf” [2024] D: Robert Duncan McNeill. S: Alan Tudyk, Sara Tomko, Corey Reynolds, Alice Wetterlund, Judah Prehn, Gracelyn Awad Rinke, Enver Gjokaj. Changes are coming to ALIEN in this setup for the season (not just the kids getting a lot older, either). Tudyk’s ever the delight, ditto Reynolds. The A plot is Tomko unintentionally romancing evil alien Gjokaj. Good acting, nice directing and writing. Solid stuff, with a surprisingly sincere finish.

    Resident Alien (2021) s03e02 “The Upper Hand” [2024] D: Lea Thompson. S: Alan Tudyk, Sara Tomko, Corey Reynolds, Alice Wetterlund, Levi Fiehler, Enver Gjokaj, Meredith Garretson. Tudyk, Tomko, and Wetterlund team up to investigate evil alien hybrid Gjokaj, while the rest of the town works on their subplots. Lots of heart again, lots of comedy. Some really good acting from Tudyk, Gjokaj, and Reynolds. Thompson’s direction is good. ALIEN is steady as ever.

    Resident Alien (2021) s03e03 “141 Seconds” [2024] D: Robert Duncan McNeill. S: Alan Tudyk, Sara Tomko, Corey Reynolds, Alice Wetterlund, Judah Prehn, Elizabeth Bowen, Jenna Lamia. Tudyk crashes Prehn’s family vacation to Yellowstone because the greys seemingly have something going there. Intrigue and hilarity abound. Back home, everyone has a lackadaisically paced mystery-related subplot, with a lot more time spent on the human factor. Particularly for Tomko, Bowen, and Reynolds. The cliffhanger sets up the season. Off direction from McNeill, however.

    Resident Alien (2021) s03e04 “Avian Flu” [2024] D: Kabir Akhtar. S: Alan Tudyk, Sara Tomko, Corey Reynolds, Alice Wetterlund, Levi Fiehler, Judah Prehn, Elizabeth Bowen. Tudyk falls for the alien sent to evict him from Earth (guest star Edi Patterson), while Reynolds and Bowen crack their case, Tomko bonds with daughter Kaylayla Raine, and Meredith Garretson breaks down (even more). Lots of laughs, heart, and fears, and a great Tudyk performance. Good episode distracts from the season’s still slow start.

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  • One-Percent Warrior (2023, Yamaguchi Yudai)

    The One-Percent in One-Percent Warrior’s title does not refer to the super-rich, but rather when someone transcends in their film-related martial arts excellence. The majority of the film is just a forty-minute action sequence with star Sakaguchi Tak roaming around an abandoned zinc factory—on its own little CGI island—and kicking various butt. A lot of it is the same butt. It was in the second or third big beat-down I realized all of the bad guys have their faces covered so they can keep getting beaten down.

    But forty minutes isn’t a movie, so Warrior’s has a very complicated story tacked on.

    The movie opens with documentary interview footage about how Sakaguchi’s such a badass; even though he’s just an action movie star, he can kick his special forces buddies’ asses too. He can dodge bullets. Sakaguchi doesn’t necessarily get a lot to do in the film—even when he’s got the big reveal, which I’ll dance around later—he doesn’t do a lot. But he manages to make the bullet dodging believable.

    And he’s socially awkward enough you can believe it when he can’t hold a steady job. His latest gig is on a period piece where he very quickly mouths off too much and gets fired. On this particular job, however, he meets Fukuyama Kohei, who thinks Sakaguchi’s an action god. Fukuyama becomes Sakaguchi’s sidekick and trainee, listening to Sakaguchi talk about his martial arts and his dream of the perfect action film.

    So much talking.

    Fukuyama convinces Sakaguchi to try to get funding, which leads them to the abandoned zinc factory island. They’ve got to find a location, after all. There, they discover another film crew already scouting the same location. Before that scene even finishes, Warrior adds the next plot wrinkle—they’re both scouting a location where a dead mobster hid his cocaine and now one set of bad guys has brought the dead mobster’s daughter (Fukuda Rumika) to find it.

    Except… there’s also another set of mobsters who want the cocaine, so they’re trying to kill those gangsters without hurting Fukuda. They’ve got other gangster’s daughter Harumi Kanon with them. Harumi’s a vicious killer, not naive like Fukuda, so there’s a whole juxtaposition thing.

    Fukuyama will end up bonding with Fukuda, but there’s no payoff for it, which stinks because Fukuyama’s really likable in the scenes. It also stinks because it plays into the third act reveal, which part and parcel lifts one of the more famous movie twists from the twentieth century. While Warrior uses the twist just to get to stop the movie—it’s very low budget, and they do a lot with that budget, but there’s a limit, and they do hit it multiple times—but the twist also suggests there’s all sorts of character development they could’ve done but didn’t. Even within the constraints of the established format (the documentary interviews and so on).

    It’s a real bummer because Warrior overcomes a turgid first act to actually get moving once the action starts. Sakaguchi can obviously do his job, but Fukuda, Harumi, Fukuyama—they all come through. Even the gangsters are solid. Warrior goes into the finale much stronger than expected, albeit because we’re worried about characters we may or may not need to be worried about, but still. Warrior’s second act rally is significant.

    And then it all crashes down.


  • The Moon (2023, Kim Yong-hwa)

    The Moon runs about two hours, but it’s got enough story for eight. About the only way to tell all the story it’s got overflowing would be a miniseries remake. And even then, you could probably toss on another couple of episodes to even it all out.

    The film concerns South Korea’s second attempt at a moon landing. Their first attempt blew up five years before this one. Moon takes place in 2029, so the first attempt was 2024. It doesn’t so much take place in the near future as the immediate future and then the very near future. Except, for all the truthiness of Moon, there isn’t any. Korea’s doing a solo moon mission because they want to take all the water out of the moon (we’ve discovered there’s probably water under the surface, and whoever controls the water controls the spice). The United States and all the other English-speaking countries with white people have teamed up to share the moon–no word on anyone else.

    The U.S.-led group also has a space station orbiting the moon at all times. It has landers on it so they can go down and do a Tom Hanks-inspired skip and sing whenever they want, but Moon almost immediately establishes no one has walked on the moon since the seventies. This new mission is going to be the first time since then. Actually, wait, it might be possible only Americans have walked on the moon, including since the seventies, which means they don’t let the other astronauts on the lunar space station go walking on the moon because Americans are dicks.

    Americans are dicks is another of Moon’s subplots, it turns out. See–and buckle in–disgraced Korean Astronautics and Space Center (NASC) flight director Sol Kyung-gu, who oversaw the previous tragic mission, is back because he designed the control module, and they need him. His ex-wife (Kim Hee-ae) dumped him, moved to the United States, renounced her Korean heritage, married a white dude to raise her son with her, and became the head of NASA. Lots of Moon involves Kim telling Sol to shove it whenever they need help.

    Now, there’s the subtext about South Korea wanting to strip-mine the moon and not share with anyone else, especially Kim. It’s bizarre. The geopolitical implications are all very, very strange.

    But Moon doesn’t get into any of them. Not when it’s also got one of the astronauts–Do Kyung-soo–vastly unqualified for the mission. It turns out his dad (Lee Sung-min in a not-tiny but always silent cameo) was Sol’s partner on the previous mission, and when it went bad, Lee was the one who killed himself in disgrace. Another big thing about The Moon–basically all of the Korean guys in authority positions imply they frequently consider suicide instead of having to apologize or be uncomfortable. It’s so much.

    But also Sol and Do don’t know they’re working together. And they have so many secrets from one another.

    Presumably, Do has another secret, which somehow the film felt the need to cut–he’s supposed to be an elite ROK Navy SEAL, except he’s terrible under pressure and spends all his time not under pressure panicking about being under pressure. The other astronauts–who disobey orders and kick ass because they’re astronauts, bro–make fun of him for being such a worry wart.

    There’s also Sol’s sidekick, Hong Seung-hee, taking up screen time because they wanted an ingenuine (at one point, she and Do seem like they’re going to have a long-distance connection, but it’s actually nothing, which is weird). Oh, and new KASC political appointee Jo Han-chul is freaking out about everything because he wanted an easy government job without any responsibility.

    See, it could easily go eight episodes. I haven’t even gotten into the constant terror everyone finds themselves in once things start going wrong.

    Not talking about what goes wrong isn’t necessarily a “no spoilers” decision, either. The Moon’s a science and technology thriller a la Apollo 13 but since it’s based in a poorly thought-out reality (courtesy director Kim’s script) and doesn’t pretend to know any of the engineering whatsoever… it’s just a bunch of words and visuals out of other movies. The special effects are great, no complaints in that department, but they’re just showing various, pre-existing visual tropes.

    In all, Moon’s not original (though letting melodrama knock a science thriller off course so much isn’t common), but it’s usually compelling. Do’s not good, but he’s sympathetic. It’d have helped if they revealed he’d faked his way onto the mission, just so the KASC astronauts don’t seem incompetent. Sol’s fine, but there’s not a part there. The rest of the supporting cast is solid–Jo’s a lot of fun, always in the background.

    The Moon’s a very tense, simultaneously bloated and thin special effects extravaganza. The only thing missing is the human drama, making it a phenomenal contrast between that genre and melodrama.


  • Dr. Cheon and the Lost Talisman (2023, Kim Seong-sik)

    Until the third act, when it suddenly becomes clear the film never really had anywhere to go (at least not in this installment), Dr. Cheon is mostly delightful. Even the listless ending isn’t not entertaining, it’s just listless.

    After a magic-heavy dream sequence opening, Cheon settles into the gag–Gang Dong-won is a “doctor” who solves hauntings for his YouTube channel. Lee Dong-hwi plays his faithful sidekick, who does all the editing, takes the pay, doesn’t ask too many questions. Not even about Gang’s actual scheme: he’s a trained psychiatrist who knows he can’t cure people’s cultural beliefs in ghosts but can address the symptoms.

    Or something. Lee doesn’t care as long as the checks clear.

    It will turn out Gang’s actually using the actual mental health help racket to track down the very real, very evil shaman who killed his little brother and grandfather. Huh Joon-ho plays the evil shaman, who can possess people with ease, which makes for numerous good chase sequences and fight scenes. Dr. Cheon’s least realistic element might be Gang’s adeptness as a combination street and sword fighter. While the film hints at his quest to identify Huh (whose existence is something of a theory between Gang and his mentor, Kim Jong-soo), there’s no indication Gang’s been training.

    Maybe it just comes with the magic.

    The setup involves Gang and Lee taking damsel-in-distress Esom’s case and heading to a remote village. Esom can see dead people all around her and so on, including the evil spirit inhabiting her little sister, Park So-yi. Esom’s ostensibly going to be Lee’s love interest (Gang’s got no time for love), but no one told Esom. And then the movie itself forgets about it towards the end. Dr. Cheon only runs ninety-eight minutes, and they’re clawing for that runtime; there’s lots of delay. Good thing the cast’s so fun.

    Well, Gang, Lee, and Kim. And Park to some degree. Since Esom’s in the place of Gang’s love interest but isn’t, she’s missing traditional functions. For a while, it seems like she might have more significance than a plot delivery device.

    She does not.

    Huh’s a threatening villain, but still cartoonish.

    For most of the film, director Kim keeps a fine pace going, balancing the comic and action sequences. The story’s small but big, with the second act dipping into the flashback well a little at a time until the whole story finally comes out. But the geography–Esom and Park’s haunted village and its immediate surroundings (well, drivable immediate surroundings)–is rather finite. And since the movie spends the first half pretending Gang shouldn’t have a plan for this eventuality (one of his “fake” exorcisms leading to the real magic bad guy), it starts feeling cramped.

    So instead of focusing on Gang, Dr. Cheon leans heavily on everyone else. Esom’s got damsel stuff, Lee and Kim have sidekick stuff, Huh’s got evil stuff. Gang’s around a lot and gets to charm a lot, but he doesn’t have a character arc. Not even the foreboding revenge arc; Kim warns Gang not to act with vengeance in his heart and whatnot, but it doesn’t even matter. Especially not once the film goes all out with the CGI in the third act. There’s a lot of smart, action-oriented magic on display in the set pieces in the first and second acts, but the third act decides it’s time to unlock the secrets of the universe onscreen.

    It’s way too much for such little emotional stakes, derailing the film. And there’s not time to get it back on track. Dr. Cheon goes out with a bang, which is not what it needs.

    Hopefully, they’ll figure out something for Gang to do in the next one.

    Even if they don’t, get enough of the cast back, and it won’t matter.

    Dr. Cheon’s a fun ride, but it’s (too?) determined just to be the beginning.


  • The Swiss Conspiracy (1975, Jack Arnold)

    The Swiss Conspiracy opens with a lengthy title card and voice-over explaining—broadly—the Swiss banking system. Then, the movie’s opening titles, an absurdist, almost silly montage of Swiss postcards, set to composer Klaus Doldinger’s least funky music in the film. Doldinger’s score is always fun and cool (and often quite good), even when it doesn’t precisely match the onscreen action. Swiss is a budget-conscious, European location thriller. There are picturesque car chases, there’s even choreographed fisticuffs (with able stuntmen), but there aren’t pyrotechnics.

    After the titles, we get a scene with a guy in a restaurant getting murdered. The film doesn’t spend any time contextualizing it, and when it turns out to be important later (well, qualified important), they still don’t know how to tie it in. The victim is a blackmail victim. There are five more. They’re all customers at Ray Milland’s Swiss bank. Milland and his uneasy vice president Anton Diffring bring in David Janssen to investigate.

    Janssen’s a disgraced Justice Department official who had a run-in with the Chicago mob and somehow ended up living it up in Switzerland, consulting when it suits him, otherwise content to zoom around in his Ferrari with his shirt unbuttoned past his navel. Upon arriving at the bank, Janssen gets into a parking space squabble with Senta Berger. She’ll turn out to be not just one of the blackmail victims but also Janssen’s love interest. Berger’s thirty-four. Janssen’s forty-four. He looks early sixties (except, oddly, in their canoodling scenes). So it’s not inappropriate or even weird—other than Berger being interested in brusk, condescending Janssen—but the optics are constantly askew.

    Janssen also immediately meets Chicago mobster John Saxon, who’s in town to report his own blackmailing to Diffring. And someone followed Saxon from the airport. Saxon and Janssen know each other—Janssen’s got a great line explaining it’s not a “social” relationship—and there’s immediate conflict. We meet almost the entire supporting cast before Milland gets around to explaining the blackmail scheme to Janssen. It’s an incredibly stagey approach, contrasting how director Arnold shoots it and the film in general. Swiss makes a big deal out of its locations, whether where the mountaintops are alive with the sound of music or the scenic architecture. So when it suddenly slows down to be a corporate office drama… it’s weird.

    Because Swiss is a weird movie. Janssen investigates, romances Berger, squabbles with Saxon, meets other blackmail victims John Ireland and Curt Lowens, trades barbs with local cop Inigo Gallo (never seeing the police department is a big tell on the budget’s limits), and runs from hitmen Arthur Brauss and David Hess. Oh, and then occasionally just shoots the shit with Milland. The movie got Ray Milland; they’re going to use Ray Milland.

    Then the only running subplot without Janssen is about Diffring and his too-hot-for-him-so-something-must-be-up girlfriend Elke Sommer.

    Excellent location shooting, game cast—while Berger easily gives the best performance, no one’s actually bad except Ireland. Saxon’s iffy a lot of the time, but then he’ll have this or that good moment. Ireland doesn’t have any good moments.

    Janssen plays his part like he’s in the ensemble, even if Arnold (though more the script) tries to focus in on him. Janssen’s sturdy more than capable, but he’s enthusiastic. Enthusiasm helps.

    Right up until the third act, when the film starts deflating all the tires, one lackluster reveal after another. It’s a bummer of a finish, but then there’s a quick, welcome partial save.

    For a less than ninety-minute thriller on a budget (in more ways than one), Swiss Conspiracy’s far from bad.

    And that Doldinger score is dynamite.