Category: Directors Pi

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) s02e10 – The Uninvited

This episode opens with lead Kiernan Shipka having her date with new potential beau Peter Bundic—well, wait, it actually opens with this terrifying sequence of a… okay, wait. It’s going to be hard to describe this guy. He’s not actually experiencing homelessness, but he’s an Eldritch Terror personified as a person no one will ever invite in but if they don’t, he tears out their heart. Brahm Taylor plays him. Taylor’s great. But, visually, he plays on almost every negative stereotype about folks experiencing homelessness.

Anyway. It opens with Taylor tearing out an unwelcoming person’s heart.

And then Shipka gets done with her date with Bundic and he doesn’t like Alien—now, last episode they said there was an Alien series marathon, which seemed like it’d take all night until I remembered Disney isn’t going to rent movies to revival houses, Alien franchise especially no doubt—but they just see the one and it doesn’t go well. Then Shipka has another date and it doesn’t go well either. And icing on the cake, Shipka’s other Sabrina, the one who rules Hell, is getting a lot more serious with prince of Hell beau Sam Corlett. Last season (part, season, whatever), Corlett tried to trap Shipka—before she splits—in time so the witch Sabrina, Spellman, is not a fan. Hell Sabrina, Morningstar, forgives him because he’s a very Australian hunk.

Shipka—in the Spellman part—teams up with Michelle Gomez, who’s also playing two, earthbound and hellbound parts, to try to sabotage the romance. It’s pretty funny. Corlett’s pretty good with the humor.

Meanwhile, it’s finally time for aunt Lucy Davis to have her wedding with “he’s still not Taiki Waititi, actually” Alessandro Juliani. Only Davis and Juliani are barely in the episode—they do get some nice moments eventually, but it’s a little inverted as plotting goes, especially since the early Juliani subplot goes quickly off the rails. Gavin Leatherwood is supposed to get the incubus out of Juliani and contain it, but it escapes into Lachlan Watson, leading nowhere outside some lusty scenes with boyfriend Jonathan Whitesell. It seems like the show’s trying to do a “look the male sex demon jumps into a trans man” thing only to realize it’s kind of icky performative to draw too much attention to it and then doesn’t really have a story to do with it anyway.

The episode’s never got time for itself.

There is some really good Shipka, as she finally breaks down about her love life, and some good twists in the plot involving Taylor but the episode’s always in too much of a hurry.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018) s01e16 – Blackwood

Back when they were writing Alien, screenwriter Dan O’Bannon and producer Gordon Carroll disagreed where the end of the second act falls. Gordon said it was “the darkest hour,” whereas O’Bannon countered with “the point of no return.” The idea being a point of no return is less subjective.

This episode ends at the darkest hour. Zelda (Miranda Otto) has ignored niece Kiernan Shipka’s warning and pleading not for Otto to marry High Priest Richard Coyle. Shipka knows—through cousin Chance Perdomo—Coyle wants to enact regressive policies to reduce women to a subservient role in the Church of Night. For Coyle, everything goes swimmingly, for Shipka, Perdomo, and Gavin Leatherwood (as Shipka’s beau), everything goes wrong. Coyle has got all the high cards and is even able to bring illegitimate daughter Tati Gabrielle onto his side at just the right moment, even though he’d made it a practice to push her away.

There’s a lot of good material leading up to the big showdown—though, admittedly, Otto being so passive is not great—including one of Lucy Davis’s best moments on the show. Shipka and Leatherwood’s attempts to save the day are a little too cute and there are—as always when the show introduces an established witch ritual or detail—some logic gaps. Shipka’s never heard of the Dark Pope of their Church, even though she’s been acquainted with it for the last sixteen years.

Ray Wise guests as the Dark Pope. It’d be nice if it were a good cameo because Ray Wise is actually someone but it’s not a great part. The problem with Coyle outsmarting everyone is Coyle’s not very smart. He’s only smart to his gaggle of teen male followers, who see him as Jordan Peterson or something. Even when Coyle’s at his best, he’s nowhere near good enough to make the part work.

There are no mortal subplots this episode; instead, Michelle Gomez argues with the Dark Lord over her new human lover. It’s fine, but not a great use of Gomez’s time. Especially when she’s saying how she needs to be protecting Shipka and instead she’s messing around with her dude. The stuff with Gomez talking to her crow familiar is great though.

Dark Legacy (2017, Anthony Pietromonaco)

Dark Legacy opens with a shot of a solar system. The “camera” descends to one of the planets. Then we find out it’s a Star Wars short. Because, until that point, director Pietromonaco could be doing anything. He’s just showcasing the visuals. Not showing off. Showcasing. It’s such a nice difference.

Anyway, back on the planet Erin Wu has to kill Fabien Garcia (he’s in a Sith mask, with Dave Thomas doing the voice). Neither of the Dave Thomases you’re thinking of. Different one. Wu doesn’t have many lines (if any), while Thomas has evil Darth Vader knock-off monologues. Even though the production values are strong, Pietromonaco starts to lose pace. There’s a lot of exposition, a lot of distraction.

And then comes the lightsaber duel. It’s in pitch black with the opponents turning off their lightsabers for subterfuge. Almost all of the fight choreography is great–Wu does an inexplicable kick–but otherwise, it’s awesome. Pietromonaco puts the viewer behind the lightsaber, but without making it cheap. Instead it’s graceful and lovely; the editing is fantastic. And without a credited editor. Pietromonaco perhaps?

But then the reality of being a Star Wars short returns and Dark Legacy starts to drag again. But it doesn’t go too long. Pietromonaco never rushes it, but the finale is brisk. It’s either visually stunning or it’s brisk. Never both.

The lightsaber duel in Dark Legacy is fantastic and it doesn’t go on too long afterwards to make you want to stop it.

Quicksand (1950, Irving Pichel)

Quicksand is a film noir with room for cream and about five sugars. The genre often has a morality element to it, but this entry goes way too far with it. Or it might just be how the film treats lead Mickey Rooney.

Most film noir male protagonists are overconfident simpletons taken in by devious women; Rooney is a complete moron, however. And his confidence is all obvious bravado. He isn't just not smart, he never shows any reason for anyone–himself included–to think he is smart.

The script even gives femme fatale Jeanne Cagney, presumably cast due to her height (very few cast members are taller than Rooney), lines about Rooney being a malleable simp. There isn't much tension when she's telling him she's going to take him for a ride and he's just too dumb to figure it out.

Rooney has a likable quality, even in Quicksand, and maybe if director Pichel were better able to use the location shooting–he's visibly desperate for a sound stage–or the script gave Rooney narration throughout instead of just during summary scenes, the film might go better.

As for the supporting cast… poor Peter Lorre looks embarrassed, like he's waiting for someone to hand him a check after each scene. Then there's Cagney; her enthusiasm doesn't translate to a good performance. In one of the stupider roles, Barbara Bates can't make the good girl hung up on Rooney believable. He's just too much of a tool.

Quicksand misfires on all levels, but inoffensively.

1/4★

CREDITS

Directed by Irving Pichel; written by Robert Smith; director of photography, Lionel Lindon; edited by Walter Thompson; music by Louis Gruenberg; production designer, Boris Leven; produced by Mort Briskin; released by United Artists.

Starring Mickey Rooney (Dan), Jeanne Cagney (Vera), Barbara Bates (Helen), Peter Lorre (Nick), Taylor Holmes (Harvey), Art Smith (Mackey), Wally Cassell (Chuck), Richard Lane (Lt. Nelson), Patsy O’Connor (Millie), John Gallaudet (Moriarity) and Minerva Urecal (Landlady).

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The Earth, the Way I Left It (2013, Jeff Pinilla)

Oh, good grief. I really wanted to start out with the positives about The Earth, the Way I Left It put director Pinilla goes out on such an unbelievably saccharine note–after being way too obvious a minute or two before–I just can't.

Pinilla's got some very good composition chops. But Earth just keeps on biting off more than it can deliver. It's set in 1962. Why? Why not. Because 1962 is the only time kids can like astronauts, apparently. And then there's a 8mm camera, so Pinilla can fill us in on the situation through flashbacks. But not real ones because the dead brother (sorry, it's about some girl who's visited by her dead brother's ghost dressed up as an astronaut) disappears from the footage for emphasis.

Then there's some weird thing with the parents not speaking English.

It's all over the place.

Earth needs to be insightful; it's trite.

1/3Not Recommended

CREDITS

Edited and directed by Jeff Pinilla; written and produced by Pinilla and Matthew Pourviseh; director of photography, Justin Simpson.

Starring Amelia Osborne (Alexandria).

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The Most Dangerous Game (1932, Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel)

Running about an hour, The Most Dangerous Game shouldn’t be boring. But it somehow manages. Worse, the boring stuff comes at the end; directors Schoedsack and Pichel drag out the conclusion with a false ending or two.

The film doesn’t have much to recommend it. That laborious ending wipes short runtime off the board, leaving nothing but good sets, Henry W. Gerrard’s photography and Leslie Banks’s glorious scene-chewing performance as the bad guy. James Ashmore Creelman’s script occasionally has good dialogue, most of it goes to Banks. Unfortunately, Creelman’s script doesn’t have a good story.

Still, the script isn’t Game‘s problem. Simply, Directors Schoedsack and Pichel do a rather bad job. They rely heavily on second person close-ups–the actors are performing for the viewer, showing exaggerated emotion; it’s a terrible choice. Joel McCrea seems silly in the lead and Fay Wray is often just plain bad. She has a couple good moments, early on, but they’re amid some atrocious ones.

The hunt–if you don’t know what kind of animal is “the most dangerous game,” I won’t spoil it (though you should)–starts up over halfway into the film. Here Schoedsack and Pichel present a really boring chase sequence through the magnificent jungle sets. Their action is two dimensional. They also never establish their setting, which would have made the action play better… and give Game more weight.

Robert Armstrong is hilarious, but he isn’t not enough to save the picture.

And Max Steiner’s score is dreadful.

After Ever After or Numbers on a Napkin (2011, Jeff Pinilla)

It’s amazing how a British actor, one who isn’t even good, is still leagues better than a mediocre American actor.

Michael Furlong talks his way through (the incredibly titled) After Ever After or Numbers on a Napkin. He’s some guy in New York, suffering after a breakup. It’s a boring story and, like I said, Furling isn’t any good. But he’s so much better than the terribly written material.

None of the dialogue comes naturally from Furlong. Director Pinilla probably should have let Furlong rewrite the dialogue to give it a British flare. Or just watched more “Masterpiece Theater.”

But the American actors are even worse—including co-writer Dan Owens. Watching Owens try to get out the lines, it’s hard not to wonder why he didn’t write himself dialogue he could speak.

Napkin has beautifully montage sequences (also from Pinilla).

But that technical success doesn’t make it any good.

1/3Not Recommended

CREDITS

Edited, produced and directed by Jeff Pinilla; written by Pinilla and Dan Owens; director of photography, Justin Simpson.

Starring Michael Furlong (Sydney Gamblin), Sara Cicilian (Young Woman), Dan Owens (Dan Owens), Sanam Erfani (Bartender), Jana Lovelace (Waitress) and Kenton Young (Janitor).

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O.S.S. (1946, Irving Pichel)

Pichel does such a good job with the majority of O.S.S., it’s a surprise how ineptly he handles the jingoistic last scene. It’s a WWII patriotism picture (is there a proper term for this genre?), so that last scene is requisite, but Pichel could have at least made it work. Instead, he hangs the film out to dry.

O.S.S. runs long, but in a good way. It takes almost a full half hour before Alan Ladd and his fellow espionage agents are dropped into occupied France. The film opens with Ladd, but quickly shift gears to follow Patric Knowles as he puts together the team. When it does bring Ladd back in, it’s after leading lady Geraldine Fitzgerald is introduced.

While Ladd holds the film (and he’s the one most injured by Pichel’s wrong-headed finale, right after his best scene), Fitzgerald is sort of the secret weapon. She’s absolutely fantastic, making some of the creakier scenes work. Ladd–we learn twenty-five minutes in–is sexist. It’s contrived and writer Richard Maibaum never quite makes it work, but since the scenes are with Fitzgerald, she brings them through.

Pichel’s direction is great; he’s able to handle the thriller elements, the repetitious spy scenes but also the dramatic ones. His composition is strong and he makes great use of the sets. Lionel Lindon’s photography helps.

There are a couple great supporting performances–John Hoyt as an odious Nazi and Harold Vermilyea as an opportunistic one.

The film very nearly works.

Valley of the Kings (1954, Robert Pirosh)

Eighty-six minute movies are not supposed to be boring. Eighty-six minute sound films anyway. Valley of the Kings manages to be boring in the first twelve minutes. Even those twelve minutes are boring. It takes the film until just over the halfway point to actually get moving. Not interesting, not good, but moving. There are three action scenes back-to-back–a sandstorm, a Bedouin duel, and a fist-fight atop a giant Egyptian statue. The film tries to start with action too–a buggy chase within the first six minutes, but chases are hard enough to do in cars, much less buggies.

Valley of the Kings was filmed on location in Egypt, so I imagine those visuals were much of the prospective appeal, but the writing’s bad–in multiple ways–and the director doesn’t know how to make the visuals work for the film. They’re background instead of attraction and the film still tries to replace content with them. At eighty-six minutes, it’s hard for a film to take much responsibility–and Valley of the Kings tells the story of the archeological proof of Joseph in Egypt (something archeology has yet to prove), and it’s a deep subject. A lot has to go on… and nothing goes on in Valley of the Kings. It tries to be a few films–one about this search for evidence, another about adulterous relationship, and yet another (action-filled one) of grave-robbing intrigue. In the end, it doesn’t any of these subjects seriously and there’s little to hold together….

…except, of course, the locations–which are excellent in the second half–and Robert Taylor. Valley of the Kings is Taylor and Eleanor Parker’s second of three films together (for MGM). Their first, Above and Beyond, was great. This one manages to waste Parker by changing her character in the third act (she becomes positively unlovable in the last three scenes, then the film expects the audience to embrace her). She has a cuckold, played by Carlos Thompson (who I’ve never seen in anything else, much to my glee)… but the opening credits tell us the film stars Taylor and Parker. Taylor is getting the girl, so there aren’t many surprises once it gets going. Taylor is great in the film and would have been even better had to been serious film about archeology or adulterous affairs.

The film has a lot respect for the Muslim characters it portrays, much more respect then they get today in films–even in culturally sensitive films. It’s a reasonably important footnote in the history of American perspective of Muslims (Islamic fundamentalism hadn’t come around yet) and they’re treated with more respect then the European character, who’s a big shithead.

Valley of the Kings isn’t terrible thanks to the second half, but Robert Pirosh is a bad writer and a bad director. Of the two problems, the writing hurts the film most. With a good script and another twenty minutes, Valley of the Kings would… still not be as good as Above and Beyond, but it wouldn’t be so middling.