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Frasier (1993) s04e09 – Dad Loves Sherry, the Boys Just Whine
It’s a pretty good episode, even if most of the laughs are cheap and mean. The cheap starts right away, with Peri Gilpin getting her one scene in the episode opposite David Hyde Pierce. She’s celebrating and the punchline’s gross funny. And Hyde Pierce’s reactions to it are great. But then the episode’s done with her because it’s going to be too full, starting with returning guest star Jane Kaczmarek, who’s having coffee with Kelsey Grammer during the Gilpin and Hyde Pierce bit.
Kaczmarek was the cop who Grammer liked but she liked his ex-cop dad more; apparently she and John Mahoney have been happily—albeit unmentionably—dating since the end of last season. Only now she’s breaking it off and telling Grammer because… well, to set up the joke where Grammer tells Mahoney before Kaczmarek has a chance. Mahoney has an unexpected reaction to the bad news because he really wanted to dump her to date Marsha Mason, his bartender at—wait, is it at the bar where Mahoney met Kaczmarek. I can’t keep the bar names straight. I think it was McGinty’s—yep, it’s McGinty’s. So, um, there’s a whole other layer to the already iffy episode.
Mahoney introduces Hyde Pierce, Grammer, and Jane Leeves to Mason on his birthday; they’re all going out together. Only Mason is too “brass and flamboyant” for Grammer and Hyde Pierce so they’re miserable. Plus she makes them drink cheap champagne.
The rest of the episode is about Grammer and Hyde Pierce trying to decide whether or not to tell Mahoney they don’t like Mason, while Mahoney’s thrilled with his new romance. Once it all finally comes out, there’s a big argument scene—with the best acting easily from Mahoney, as he’s the only one where there’s any reality to the character; Grammer and Hyde Pierce are playing petulant caricatures, albeit with some appropriate details, but they’re being cruel and mean. The resolution isn’t about them being dickheads, it’s about how Mahoney’s a dickhead too—comparisons of Mason to Grammer and Hyde Pierce’s spouses—and it’s a very strange finish.
Though given the highpoint is either Gilpin with the grody celebration topic, Grammer not letting an upset Leeves have too good a whine, or some banter about Hyde Pierce’s imaginary protege—actually, wait, Grammer teasing Hyde Pierce for wetting the bed as a kid is probably a good forecast of the episode’s empathy.
There are some amusing moments—Keenan’s script is better micro than macro—and Mason’s a lot of fun, but it’s awkward to turn all your male regular cast into jerks because you can’t find better laughs.
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Ginseng Roots (2019) #7

There are some things only comics can do. There are some things only comics memoirs can do. This issue of Ginseng Roots mixes the two into something even more singular and rare; it’s a truly exceptional reading experience, far and away the best issue of the series so far; it’s going to be very hard to beat given the content, which is sort of the point of the content; Craig Thompson is a very impressive cartoonist. Like, I don’t know how he pulled it off. I spent the entire issue waiting for him to leave the subject—the story of a Hmong kid who grew up parallel to Thompson as a Wisconsin ginseng farmer’s kid—and sticks with it.
The first few pages are setting up the Hmong from Thompson and his family’s perspective. It starts with a harvest season MacGuffin but Thompson spends enough time on it while building towards the main subject, it’s not really a MacGuffin. It’s just the quickest, most edifying way get to go. It’s never hurried (and doesn’t skip things—bringing up racism right away); Thompson’s really good at efficiently setting the ground situation, which is going to play in pretty soon in the juxtapose—but when he moves on to the kid’s story, which starts with the Hmong dad’s story being a Hmong teenager in Laos and the Vietnam War. I turned back a page to make sure, but while I don’t know how Thompson could maintain the intensity of the issue, his segue is observable and worth reading thrice. First, second to confirm, third to appreciate. It’s stunning start to finish. The best comics.
So we get Thompson telling this kid’s story as first person, but with him—Thompson in the comic—listening. Now, the story is an adult’s story, but it’s coming from the fifteen year-old comics version. And it’s about the dad. There are all these layers to it and then Thompson’s already an additional couple comics artifice things goin on (which refer back to previously established ground situation to create a particular reference and effect). It’s just incredible work.
The story comes up to the modern day (so past where we were initially hearing the story in the nineties or whatever when they’re fifteen), with Thompson not just taking the time to cover the Hmong in Wisconsin but also their involvement in the Vietnam War (and the CIA’s involvement in the Vietnam War). And he’s still got time for a sincere, aspirational twist. Thompson tells this story with appropriate reverence. Like I said, it might just be impossible to beat because the historical content is the historical content.
It’s even higher level stuff from Thompson than I was expecting and I’ve been expecting greater and greater things from Ginseng Roots.
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Ginseng Roots (2019) #6

It’s such a dark issue. How is it such a dark issue. I mean, it’s clear why it’s a dark issue—creator Craig Thompson juxtaposes the seed process of ginseng with he and his siblings going into high school, getting baptized, and suffering serious abuse, so there’s simultaneous this literal expansive life thing for the seed (and the kids) along with accompanying traumas.
Very dark. But bright and full of amusing moments. Also petrifying ones (Thompson says a lot about being raised by religious parents without saying much about religion).
The art is stunning from the first page, with these intricately composed pages, the “narrative” flowing from page to page as he describes the complicated, years long process of getting from ginseng seed to ginseng plant. In addition to the growing process, there’s also the accompanying work the farmer has to do to plant the seeds, which of course gets covered. There are also some nice textual asides, but it’s mostly a lesson on the seeds.
The issue’s also a lot more lyrical in structure than usual. Even with the long cycle for the seeds, Thompson doesn’t stick too much to the set timeline, sort of easing in and out of it, skipping ahead nine months in as many panels then slowing down to a halt and zooming in to inspect something going on either with the seed or he and his siblings. His parents get to be active (fretting over evil secularism or worse) in a few panels and it’s always part of the flow.
The sister gets a lot more to do than usual (though usually she’s not even present); here, she’s a full sidekick, complete with her own observational asides. But Thompson even distances himself (as a teen), zooming out to look at himself in comparison to his siblings. It’s not until after the home schooling decision Thompson really zooms back in on himself, but it’ll be a story for another issue (or maybe not). Because the story of the seed, and therefore the issue, is coming to a close. It’s incredibly successful and I guess not too bold a move given Ginseng Roots knows its audience; the end comes abruptly but the issue doesn’t feel abrupt. I keep waiting for some zinger as I read the last few pages, fingertips feeling the end near with every page turn, but no. Thompson just does the issue and ends it.
It’s maybe the best way to finish a heavy chapter in a serial.
So good.
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Masters of Horror (2005) s02e05 – Pro-Life
I’m not sure John Carpenter’s The Thing was a pinnacle of realistic practical special effects—I think it must’ve been one, but I’m not sure; I am confident, however, he and Dean Cundey pioneered SteadiCam (at least according to them) with Escape from New York. So watching his second (and, thankfully, final) “Masters of Horror” entry, it’s sad to see Carpenter contending with Attila Szalay’s profoundly incompetent photography and the garbage special effects from Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger. While Pro-Life is certainly better than the previous episode Carpenter directed—also written by Drew McWeeny and Rebecca Swan—it’s always in trying to find a way to get worse.
The episode opens with Mark Feuerstein and Emmanuelle Vaugier talking about how they might work together but it’s okay they just slept together. This scene will be the most dialogue Vaugier gets in the hour, with the rest of her performance quick reaction shots. They’re driving in to work and they almost hit teenager Caitlin Wachs running through the woods. Wachs was actually a teenager during Pro-Life, which makes the skimpy outfit and the graphic rape recollection even grosser than I’d assumed. That gross gets lost in the other gross when McWeeny and Swan show their edginess by disingenuously both-sidings abortion with lead Ron Perlman talking about clinic doctor Bill Dow being a baby killer. McWeeny and Swan then cop out on the whole thing with Perlman just being a pawn in Satan’s game.
Derek Mears plays the demonic Satan, walking around in a rubber suit thrown out from the original Swamp Thing movie for looking too cheesy. Despite being King of Hell, Mears can’t figure out how door handles work. Or maybe Pro-Life just thinks terrible slow motion breaking through door effects are good, actually. It certainly tries to do its gun porn but it just plays silly. This whole “Masters of Horror” big horror director who at best makes direct-to-video crap returning to their roots continues to instead suggest these guys shouldn’t be renowned because they can’t make movies anymore, not even hour long ones.
The story involves Wachs, raped by Satan, trying to get Feuerstein to abort the baby while dad Perlman shoots everyone dead to rescue her because he’s doing God’s work. He’s got three sons helping him; the nicest I’ll be is not noting their names when trying to determine the worst performance. Partially because, outside Dow as the clinic doctor, the worst performance is easily discount character actor Stephen Dimopoulos. He’s the shitty dad who brought his daughter to the clinic and gets caught up in the demonic siege.
Wachs is bad. It’s unclear how much of it’s her fault, how much of it’s the script, how much of it is Carpenter leering at her. Feuerstein’s less bad but far from good. Perlman’s decent. It’s a thin, bad part, poorly written, poorly directly, but his professionalism puts him ahead of the pack. Biski Gugushe tries the hardest as the clinic security guard.
Presumably Carpenter did this show for the easy paycheck and to get “composer” son Cody Carpenter some gigs with residuals (the music’s terrible).
But it’s insipid work and an objectively good reason to avoid giving anyone involved any attention in the future.
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Masters of Horror (2005) s01e08 – Cigarette Burns
Did anyone read the script for Cigarette Burns before they started shooting? Udo Kier’s got a line about Norman Reedus following him, then Kier follows Reedus. Not to mention Reedus’s inability to open doors convincingly, much less regurgitate Drew McWeeny and Rebecca Swan’s startlingly insipid dialogue. It’s terrible when it’s Kier and Reedus delivering the lines, but it’s not truly godawful until Chris Gauthier shows up. Kier’s able to deliver terrible dialogue with no help from a director after decades of experience but watching Reedus and Gauthier try to hold a conversation with nothing but poorly written expository dialogue is something especially awful.
I’ve been avoiding Cigarette Burns for fifteen plus years, after hearing it was not a gem from director John Carpenter, but it’s not just a bad Carpenter outing… it’s a new low for him. He’s got a cinematographer—Attila Szalay—who can’t hold focus, he’s got an incompetent editor (Patrick McMahon), though I guess at least he was able to get his son Cody a gig doing the music. And the music’s the only thing not entirely terrible. Because even if Szalay’s lighting were all right—and the shots in focus—Carpenter’s composition is at best disinterested. He’s shooting for a 16:9 frame and has no idea how to compose the shots to make them interesting; it’s not just disappointing, it’s embarrassing to watch. If ever someone needed Alan Smithee….
Reedus is a revival movie theatre owner who’s going to hunt down a mythic lost film for Kier. How mythic? So mythic Kier’s got a de-winged angel who starred in it held captive, which doesn’t bug Reedus at all. He needs the money to pay off his dead girlfriend’s dad, Gary Hetherington. Zara Taylor plays the dead girlfriend in flashbacks. Presumably she got cast because they wanted someone who’d make Reedus look like an okay actor.
Hetherington’s terrible too. It ought to be a gimme of a small part, something any working actor could execute (and a great cameo spot for a Carpenter regular, though it’d just be humiliating for them too). It becomes obvious very soon into Cigarette Burns, it’s never getting better and it’s got a long way to go to hit bottom.
Is all of “Masters of Horror” so terrible? Cigarette Burns isn’t an encouragement to check out other Carpenter movies—quite the opposite—and it isn’t a celebration of his career (it’s McWeeny and Swan doing a worse-than-expected Kevin Smith does horror). But it’s also not like Carpenter’s trying with the script. There’d be some effort in the composition, the blocking would be better, Reedus might be able to open a door believably, every muddled frame of Cigarette Burns is another item on the list of its defects and incompetencies.
I wasn’t expecting Cigarette Burns to be any actual good, but I wasn’t expecting it to be worse than Carpenter’s previous lows by so much. Maybe they should’ve gotten someone to direct it who wanted to direct it (or anything). There’s not much missed opportunity in Cigarette Burns—the script’s garbage—but someone else might have some interest or enthusiasm for it.
Other than getting your kid a job.
I’m so glad I didn’t watch it at the time, when the disappointment (before it was for sure Carpenter was retired) would have be much more severe.
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