Wow, what an exceptionally bad episode of television. I noticed Alan B. McElroy (he wrote Spawn, he’s not good) in the titles last episode or maybe the one before, but I didn’t think much of it. Even though last episode was bad. I figured it was just lack of Anson Mount and any Mia Kirshner at all. But McElroy’s got a co-credit on this one too so maybe he’s just sinking the proverbial ship. Mount has a little more to do this episode because it’s an Enterprise—sorry, sorry, sorry—Discovery trapped in a more powerful alien vessel’s “web” episode. Not the Tholians, unfortunately. Something new. Think an organic, friendlier V’Ger. Think something dumb.
There’s a cold open teasing Rebecca Romijn as the first officer from the Enterprise, who was in the original pilot, played by Majel Barrett. Now sure why a tease is necessary. She comes by to dump some exposition to Mount about Spock and then she goes away. Mount takes the ship Spock-hunting only to get caught by V’Ger/Probe/Nomad and then there’s onboard troubles when Saru (Doug Jones) seems like he’s going to die. Because he’s got a strange alien disease and it’s killing him out of nowhere. You know, just like lots of “Next Generation” episodes. Or a lethal pon farr type thing.
“Discovery” is “Star Trek” as written by people who write repetitive fan-pic.
The Saru thing leads to the most humiliating scene for Sonequa Martin-Green in the show this season or last. She’s got to have a heart-to-heart with Jones and he’s so unbearably bad you wish he’d just die. It’s not going to happen because it’s the fourth episode in the season and the writers are just bad, but for every millisecond Jones “acts” in the scene, you’re wishing they’d just kill him and end this terrible scene. Martin-Green’s usually able to keep her head above water but her emotional breakdown stuff?
So bad.
Actually, the only thing in the episode to make things slightly tolerable is Tig Notaro. She’s awesome. She doesn’t build rapport while acting, which is a problem because it leaves Anthony Rapp hanging out like laundry, but she’s still awesome.
Otherwise the episode sucks. Whoever plotted this season—the episode’s all bullshit just delaying having to introduce Spock for another episode or whatever—did a rather bad job. Mount can’t overcome McElroy. I just hope there’s no more of the latter to come.
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