Kill ’em All (2012, Raimund Huber)

Kill ’em All is not a film for people who like intelligent writing or good acting. It’s not a film for people who like imaginative fight choreography. It’s a film made to exploit audiences who enjoy the third, however. Director Huber is not lazy–the sheer amount of camera setups for the bad fight scenes alone attests to a definite work ethic. He’s just terrible. Given the terrible performances, one would assume Huber couldn’t do anything about the acting, but he doesn’t do anything about the cinematography.

Director of photographer Vardhana Wanchuplao is actually unable to set up a shot without lens distortion. Maybe they were just using really bad cameras, but something about All‘s feel suggests Wanchuplao is simply shockingly inept. Karl T. Hirsch’s editing, on the other hand, is quite good. He’s cutting together crappy fight scenes and poorly acted dialogue, but Hirsch makes the cuts seamless. It’d be impressive if the movie weren’t so godawful otherwise.

The film’s from Thailand, though everyone speaks English poorly–even the American performers (actors would be a stretch)–and apparently in Thailand, there isn’t an actor’s union to compel a cast list in the credits. In other words, I can’t identify the single worst performance as I cannot refer to the cast list. It’s one of the Asian chaps, but I don’t know his name.

Screenwriter Ken Miller, who appears to have at least some film magazine editing credits, doesn’t even try. All is worse the more I think about it.

ⓏⒺⓇⓄ

CREDITS

Directed by Raimund Huber; written by Ken Miller; director of photography, Vardhana Wanchuplao; edited by Karl T. Hirsch; music by Alec Puro; production designer, Thapakorn Kaewsa-ard; produced by Patrick Ewald, Shaked Berenson, Klaus von Sayn-Wittgenstein and George Tan; released by Epic Pictures Group.

Starring Johnny Messner (Gabriel), Liu Chia Hui (Snakehead), Ammara Siripong (Som), Joe Lewis (Carpenter), Brahim Achabbakhe (Takab), Tim Man (The Kid), Roongtawan Jindasing, Rashid Phoenix (Mickey), Erik Markus Schuetz (Schmidt), Eoin O’Brien and Ice Chongko.