Ultimatum: Spider-Man Requiem 2 (September 2009)

175784 20090729185629 largeEh. Dang it, Bendis.

He structures the whole thing around Jonah’s obituary for Spider-Man, flashing back to Spidey’s first meeting with the Hulk. Oddly enough, back when Peter ran into the Hulk at the end of the original series, he didn’t seem like he remembered this incident. Bendis rips off the school bus scene from Superman pretty well. It’s not the problem.

The problem is when Jonah’s article becomes the cake instead of the icing. The art is then a bunch of pin-ups, mostly by Bagley, which seems inappropriate given how much work Immonen’s done. Scott Hanna’s inks seem a little off on the flashback story too, like he forgot how to do Ultimate Spider-Man.

The finale, with Immonen, takes a couple pages. It’s predictable, without personality. If Immonen had more room, he might’ve been able to make it visually matter.

Bendis strikes again. He’s dreadfully uneven.

CREDITS

Writer, Brian Michael Bendis; pencillers, Mark Bagley, Stuart Immonen, Trevor Hairsine, Ron Randall, Bill Sienkiewicz and John Totleben; inkers, Scott Hanna, Wade von Grawbadger, Danny Miki, Randall, Sienkiewicz and Totleben; colorists, Pete Pantazis and Justin Ponsor; letterer, Cory Petit; editors, Mark Paniccia and Lauren Sankovitch; publisher, Marvel Comics.

Ultimate Spider-Man 93 (June 2006)

281622You know what isn’t a television show–specifically a reality television show? A comic book. Someone should have told Bendis because then I would have been saved this useless comic.

Deadpool and some bad guys are hunting the X-Men (and Peter) on this island and it’s all for TV. So Bendis is cutting between the host, the bad guys, the hidden cameras, with Bagley doing all double page layouts with little TV-sized boxes.

It’s probably the most writing, in terms of dialogue, Bendis has done in years on this comic. But it’s mostly crappy, because his approach is crappy. He can’t emulate the pacing and he has trouble getting in for character scenes; even his sincere stuff comes off plastic.

Oddly, not even the X-Men are the leads this issue–they’re barely in it. The TV host gets the spotlight.

It’s a complete misfire of a comic.

CREDITS

Deadpool, Part Three; writer, Brian Michael Bendis; penciller, Mark Bagley; inker, Danny Miki; colorist, Richard Isanove; letterer, Cory Petit; editors, John Barber, Nicole Boose and Ralph Macchio; publisher, Marvel Comics.

Ultimate Six (2003) #7

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Once again, Bendis tries to humanize Ultimate Cap. He gets to close out Ultimate Six with the observation he’s basically a fascist pawn. Bendis doesn’t go so far as to call the United States fascist, but there’s the implication.

Sadly, it’s the only interesting thing Bendis comes up with. Oh, he comes up with some amusing stuff this issue. There’s a good scary moment with Otto, there’s a great moment with Aunt May yelling at SHIELD agents (it’s another of those “where’s Bagley when we need him” moments). But there’s nothing with Peter and the Ultimates, nothing substantial with Peter and Norman Osborn.

I guess Hairsine and Miki do a better job for the finale than they did on the previous five issues. None of the art is jaw-dropping ugly like it had been.

Six feels a little like Bendis testing his writing muscles.

He comes up really short.

Ultimate Six (2003) #6

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More double-paged action crap from Hairsine, though Bendis does eventually come up with a great sequence for the Wasp. It’s in single pages though.

I’m still a little confused how Kraven gets taken out. Apparently a random bit of lightning or electricity hits him and he goes down. Meaning Peter doesn’t actually succeed in anything. He just lucks into living. Kind of makes him a side character in Ultimate Six.

There is a great little moment between Ultimate Cap and Peter (making this issue Ultimate Captain America’s first ever good moment). I wish Mark Bagley had drawn it. Bendis might figure out how to write the Ultimates for this series, but he can’t figure out how to write Peter for someone other than Bagley.

I don’t like the comic, I recognize it’s a bit of a ripoff in terms of cost versus payout, but it’s got some good stuff.

Ultimate Six (2003) #5

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Just when I thought the Hairsine art couldn’t get any worse, it does. Given a huge action sequence from Bendis, Hairsine flubs it and then he somehow worsens it.

There are a lot of double page spreads this issue; Hairsine produces less bad art but on a larger scale.

Putting it mildly, this issue of Ultimate Six is an ugly read. Bendis mildly recovers, revealing Norman isn’t quite as insane as he previously implied, which is good. Norman being able to outthink Nick Fury and all the SHIELD geniuses if he were totally insane is a little much.

Though it’s too bad Bendis doesn’t go anywhere with the alternative life style thread Norman suggests between himself and Doctor Octopus.

The issue also shows no one can write Ultimate Captain America and make him an appealing character. Bendis makes him a dick too.

While the writing’s not incompetent, the comic’s bad.

Ultimate Six (2003) #4

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Well, there’s a crappy issue.

More of the bad art from Hairsine and Miki and no story from Bendis. The bad guys break in to kidnap Peter from SHIELD at the end, which should be a good action scene, right? Maybe, if Hairsine and Miki weren’t drawing everything silly.

And there’s an Ultimates action scene a little earlier. It’s terrible too.

The issue opens with the faceless president (not Bush, the vocabulary is too advanced) yelling at Nick Fury. It’s a useless scene because there’s no weight to it. Bendis also fails at any of the good bickering (Nick Fury and Peter, Fury and Osborn). Actually, all of the characters are without personality here.

Worst is the bad guys. Hairsine has stopped bothering to draw Kraven and Sandman any different so the conversation scenes are hard to read.

It’s a terrible comic book. I can’t think of any redeeming qualities.

Ultimate Six (2003) #3

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For this issue, Hairsine and his inker, Danny Miki, all of a sudden decide they’re doing a comedy. The art is very emotive, comical and sketchy. There’s no slickness to it.

It ought to work too, because it’s Peter Parker meets the Ultimates mixed with a little of the Nick Fury and Peter Parker bickering. It ought to work with a comical art style.

It does not.

Worse, it feels like Bendis is dragging things out. Instead of enjoying Peter’s trip to the big leagues, he uses it for the bickering (which is good) and exposition (which is bad).

When he finally does get to the big cliffhanger, it feels like he’s missed out on every opportunity the story presented.

The issue starts out okay and Bendis writes the dialogue and emotion fine, it’s just not a good finished product.

And that big cliffhanger implies tedious, contrived plotting to follow….

Ultimate Six (2003) #2

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I remember this issue. It’s the first Marvel comic–with the text recaps–I remember having a spoiler for the end of the issue. Norman’s so nuts he thinks Peter is his son (Peter being the Ultimate Sixth). Shame no editor caught it, because it’s a good little moment at the end.

There’s another good moment in the issue, one of Bendis’s better ones, actually. Hank Pym reveals he’s already got all of Norman’s secret formulas. Norman freaks out. It works with the Hairsine art. Six is Bendis doing the big action Ultimate series and it turns out he does it well. The first issue he was a little restrained, more in the comedic Spider-Man mode. Here he’s doing big action melodrama.

It’s a fine issue. Though he could’ve done it in half the pages.

Shame Nick Fury has to act moronic for Bendis’s plot to work though.

Ultimate Six (2003) #1

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I’m not a big Trevor Hairsine fan–his Ultimate Cap is a disaster, for instance, but given Bendis’s writing of Ultimate Thor, I forgive Ultimate Six a lot.

It’s an Ultimates series too, not just Ultimate Spidey (which I forgot) and Bendis has a great time writing the Ultimates. He does quite well with the character interplays. It’s a lot fun; Bendis is able to present the Ultimates without a challenge, but still make them compelling. He probably would have made a great sitcom writer.

As for the titular six, they’re only kind of funny. Hairsine’s art is very dramatic, which makes them whining in group therapy less funny than it should be. And then there’s Norman. Norman’s totally nuts and all, but when he’s not bickering with Nick Fury, he’s tiring.

Bendis is having fun making fun of the Ultimate universe, which gives no indication of the series’ quality.