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The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982, Colin Higgins)
The funny thing about The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas is how much doesn’t actually work and how much of it appears to be entirely director Higgins’s fault. Higgins is no good at storytelling in summary (affable but bland narrator Jim Nabors can’t be helping things), and the musical numbers suggest he’s more an occasionally lucky enthusiast and not a musical director. For instance, Higgins’s direction of star Dolly Parton’s last song is a complete misfire and only saved thanks to Parton and Burt Reynolds. Worse, it comes right after Higgins and (well, maybe mostly) songwriter Parton save the previous song. So Higgins can do it; he just doesn’t do it when it theoretically counts most.
But only theoretically, thank goodness, because the most crucial scene for Parton and Reynolds comes much earlier. They go out on a very long date, no singing, no antics, just the two of them hanging out, drinking beers in the back of Reynolds’s pickup, and talking about how much they dig each other. It’s a fantastic scene, and you spend the rest of the movie wishing there’d be another one.
Reynolds is the town sheriff, Parton’s the town madam. When the present action starts, they’ve been frequent but not exclusive lovers for several years. There’s a lengthy, awkward opening narration montage with Nabors explaining the history of the whorehouse, from before Texas became white Christian nationalist (versus just white nationalist). The house hosts everyone—presidents, farmers, football players—and Parton gives readily to local charities; also, how could anyone not like Parton?
So when trouble comes, it’s from out-of-town in the delightful form of Dom DeLuise. He’s a consumer advocate (Whorehouse demonizes Ralph Nader, which is something to behold) who’s out to get the whorehouse closed down. DeLuise is obnoxious, energetic, and quite good. However, he finds himself in some of Higgins’s worst musical numbers, as DeLuise has a musical theater entourage who follows him around and performs. Higgins can’t crack the absurdism of it.
Also quite good is Charles Durning as the Texas governor who hides out instead of answering questions about DeLuise v. Parton: Dolly of Justice. He gets a great song and dance number, perhaps the film’s only example of good editing. Whorehouse has four credited editors and lots of assistants.
Occasionally, the musical numbers will succeed despite themselves. There’s a way too long “football players dancing excitedly about going to the brothel” sequence, except the dancing’s so good, and Higgins knows it, so it works out. It’s incredible since the song’s terrible. Whorehouse has at least two good songs, and they’re Parton’s, not the musical’s. None of the musical’s songs stand out except Parton and Reynolds’s duet, which is more cute than good. The film then ends with a reprise of an early song, and it’s just a reminder the song isn’t very good.
Acting-wise, Reynolds is probably the better of the two leads. Parton seems occasionally lost, which makes sense, but it’s always only temporary, and she’s infinitely likable. Unfortunately, neither really gets an arc, though Reynolds gets more to do (outside busty musical numbers).
None of Parton’s girls get characters, but housekeeper Theresa Merritt is good. Reynolds’s supporting cast is mostly town leaders; none stand out except Barry Corbin, who’s got a minimal, but distinctive role.
The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas seems like a can’t miss, but Higgins’s inability to do a musical hurts it. Plus, the songs. The original songs aren’t great. They should’ve had Parton rewrite the thing.
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X Isle (2006) #2

Well, I figured out the secret of X Isle’s seemingly full issues: no transitions. The action cuts ahead minutes, hours, across miles. Writers Andrew Cosby and Michael Alan Nelson do the whole thing in quick summary, which gives the impression of content regardless of their actual success.
This issue has the first casualty, a kidnapping, a big twist, and some character moments. Not character development precisely because the characters are paper thin. Sam Jackson will make the Black scientist guy work in the movie, the Rock for the first mate, and so on. A few times, it looks like artist Greg Scott is photo-referencing Tim Allen for the lead. Tim Allen as a scientist. I mean, sure.
The comic’s selling point is the art. Scott’s graceless when it comes to transitions, not just between scenes in a montage sequence but between panels in an action sequence. But he’s got several decent panels. X Isle’s a very moody book; most of this issue takes place at night, in the perilous jungle. Half the issue there’s a rain storm, which contributes even more mood though not any rain-related action.
The dialogue’s almost entirely atrocious, with the comic avoiding the science of the terrifying tropical island with its monsters and so on, but it avoids all the character stuff too. There’s definitely supposed to be character stuff—Tim Allen’s daughter, who’s easily the worst written character, falling for his lab assistant. But then Sam Jackson gets jealous the assistant gives her a foot massage. They should’ve had Sam Jackson looking directly into the camera and mumbling some Pulp Fiction quotes.
I wasn’t expecting much from X Isle but it’s not even clearing that short bar. However, to borrow a frequent phrase from the comic, it is indeed fascinating to see how the summary pacing works.
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Evil (2019) s03e08 – The Demon of Parenthood
As the end of season three approaches, “Evil” seemingly does a soft reset and closes off two big outstanding story arcs. The mysterious, demonic fertility clinic–which the gang discovered, I think, in the first season and have been waiting seasons to resolve–might finally be done. And then Li Jun Li’s maybe reincarnated Jesus, a Chinese woman imprisoned in a labor camp. What’s strange about the closures is the show not really getting anything else going in their place, especially since they just wound down the Andrea Martin arc without any fanfare.
I mean, Kurt Fuller’s continued dalliances with Michael Emerson in pursuit of literary success at demonic cost. And then Katja Herbers and Mike Colter are in a fight after she realizes he’s been keeping important things from her (and Aasif Mandvi, who doesn’t seem to care). But they’re not on the outs; they’re just trying radical honesty, including about Colter hanging out with Vatican secret agent Brian d’Arcy James.
Colter’s mission this episode involves giving James a code word, only Colter mistakenly gives him the wrong code word by accident. Although Colter’s good and Aisha Tyler’s direction is solid, it’s a somewhat sophomoric arc.
Meanwhile, Herbers finds out her missing egg has been implanted into a woman, Lauren Norvelle, who is rapidly approaching her due date. Norvelle’s husband, Charlie Semine, is pretty sure the baby’s demonic. And Herbers is having night terrors involving daughter Maddy Crocco (who everyone just assumes is demonic) and demon Marti Matulis.
Crocco’s got her own subplot with Christine Lahti, who takes Crocco to work to show her the demonic boss (also Matulis, unfortunately, they missed a great chance at a Ted Danson cameo). The fallout from that meeting could change the entire trajectory of the main plot.
The series’ main plot, not the episode main plot, which is ostensibly about demonic toys from a toy shop. People are buying toys, taking them home, then discovering they’ve changed to be in some way frightening. They don’t spend much time on the investigation besides Mandvi’s forensic stuff because it’s all a red herring to set up Colter’s secret agent arc.
Herbers’s nightmarish arc with the expecting couple offsets Colter’s antics pretty well, but if “Evil” keeps going in this new direction… it’s hard to say what next season may hold. It’ll depend on what arcs make it. About the only one they have left is Herbers’s husband, Patrick Bramell, who Emerson and Lahti are torturing for eternity.
Get that one wrapped up, and it’s back to square one.
Oh, the script—credit to Sarah Acosta—is sometimes silly and usually too perfunctory, but it’s got the best cursing in the show since its move to streaming.
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William Gibson’s Alien 3 (2018) #5

Presumably, the very, very important Communist character would’ve had a more significant part in the movie. However, in the comic adaptation—in Johnnie Christmas’s adaptation, anyway—not so much. Maybe because their story is entirely the Aliens thriller and suspense sections. It’s unfortunate, though, only because the conclusion—where they talk about how we’re supposed to share these new worlds in peace or whatever—doesn’t work without having better emphasized the Soviets. Or whatever they’re called.
To get over rough spots—where he doesn’t have time for the action sequences—Christmas once again lets Alien 3 feel like a comic adaptation, not an adaptation of an unproduced screenplay. Christmas rushes through the alien action sequences, as they keep breaking out, page after page, as the survivors realize there are a lot more aliens around than they thought. Luckily, Hicks has a weapon—“you have no weapons of any kind”—so they’re not helpless.
There’s also what should be a tense action sequence for Lance Henriksen’s Bishop, who gets a far better arc in this version than the produced movie. Unfortunately, it’s not particularly tense in the comic. The action’s just the wrong type, or Christmas just doesn’t have the pages. You’d need maybe three all-action issues to get through everything in this issue. And maybe it would read better in a single sitting. Alien 3 never can catch any breaks.
As is, this issue needs another five pages. There aren’t so many aliens we can’t keep track, so Christmas needed to keep better track instead of summarizing. Especially when they start in-fighting; no spoilers, but it’s a precursor to Alien Resurrection.
There’s one other big surprise to the comic. Again, no spoilers. But the Alien³ they made closed off a franchise; this Alien 3 they didn’t make… it opened it up.
It’s not unimaginable; with a good director and some decent script doctoring (Alien producers Walter Hill and David Giler probably could’ve handled it easily), this version would’ve been superior to the theatrical version (which I like okay). But it’s hard to tell from William Gibson’s Alien 3. It’s an okay Elseworlds Aliens comic. It’s unique due to its context, not its content. Christmas’s distinctive, but at the end of the day, he’s just adapting.
I was expecting more, but I’m not disappointed.
Like I said, Alien 3 can never catch a break.
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All Rise (2019) s03e08 – Lola Through the Looking Glass
I never watched “Ally McBeal,” but is a dream episode something it might have done? I wonder if it was better suited for the diversion than “All Rise.”
Though… even when “Rise”’s cast has been wanting in terms of performances, they’ve always been amiable, so having them play various absurd roles in Simone Missick’s dream is entertaining. The episode begins with no resolution to the elevator cliffhanger, where Missick and law school beau Sean Blakemore find themselves trapped. But they don’t kiss and canoodle or decide never to kiss and canoodle, which makes the cliffhanger even cheaper than before.
This episode opens with Missick getting an invitation to a prestigious law event. It turns out Blakemore’s the hosting lawyer, so it seems like he’s trying to get her away for a conference weekend at a resort. Before falling asleep and having her wild dream, Missick argues with her still primary caregiving husband, Christian Keyes, about childcare stuff. Then she and Wilson Bethel fight about him giving her relationship advice. As in, stay away from Blakemore’s resort invitation.
The dream has Missick giving up the law to marry Blakemore and living the good life. They’ve got three kids, who don’t figure into the story at all, and Missick’s trying to get elected national chairperson to a Black women’s legal society. She and Bethel are on the outs; he’s the judge now and apparently… gay and married to J. Alex Brinson. Jessica Camacho (who’s fantastic) is their brash, brassy, slutty, drunky surrogate. Lindsey Gort’s her doula.
Missick’s attraction to Blakemore is retroactively completely reasonable once he’s got his shirt off, which the dream sequence leads with. Keyes is also around, married to Ryan Michelle Bathe, now Missick’s nemesis. Missick stole Blakemore from Bathe in law school and ended up with Keyes, who had some kind of attraction with Missick back then. Now Keyes wants to leave Bathe and Bathe’s going to destroy Missick in the legal society election….
And there’s a law school reunion, where everyone gets together. Almost everyone. Marg Helgenberger’s cameo is short, ditto Samantha Marie Ware and Roger Guenveur Smith. Ian Anthony Dale, however, displays unseen comic chops as a horny drunk, while Lindsay Mendez and Ruthie Ann Miles get to sing.
Some things work better than others—Brinson’s a tad broad–but shaking things up does liven the cast. Only for it all to turn out to be filler; stay tuned for next episode and the actual resolution. Maybe.
“All Rise” has let the Blakemore subplot entirely dominate the second half of the season, and it’s getting nothing out of it. Such strange, constant missteps.
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