Around the World in 80 Days (2021) s01e03

During the previous episode recap, I had the hope “Around the World in 80 Days” wouldn’t be formulaic—David Tennant gets in travel trouble, either due to historical events or his inexperience and anxieties. This episode’s formulaic. It does indeed involve travel troubles and a resolution—complete with Tennant’s thoughtfulness saving the day. It’d be nice to see an episode do something else, to put the characters in some non-dramatic situation.

Not happening this time.

Tennant, valet Ibrahim Koma, and journalist Leonie Benesch start the episode two weeks since we left them in the previous one. Apparently, nothing exciting happened on their trip from Italy to Yemen. However, upon reaching Yemen, there’s some travel trouble due to pirates. Tennant and Koma can travel across the desert by camel, but Tennant isn’t willing to risk Benesch’s life on the trek. More, he’s not ready to risk his best friend Jason Watkins’s daughter’s life on that trek. Tennant very much only thinks about Benesch in those terms.

Unfortunately, in addition to not vetting the guide he hires to take them across, he also doesn’t think about how being stranded in Yemen will play out for Benesch.

Luckily, they’ve happened across another Brit, albeit a disgraced one, played by Lindsay Duncan. She’s in exile from British society for apparently being a loose woman and then marrying a poor Arab (Faical Elkihel). When Tennant abandons Benesch, she gets help from Duncan and Elkihel; they’re more interested in rescuing Tennant and Koma from the desert than guiding them across, but Benesch isn’t being picky.

She takes the time to send father Watkins a telegram, which turns out to be a problem since it was Watkins who defamed Duncan in the first place. When Duncan challenges Watkins’s account later on, it forces Benesch and Tennant to reexamine truth outside the context of being wealthy white English people. It’s a short little scene with the two of them talking about it, but it’s quite good. Not as good as when Benesch and Duncan bond and bicker, but good. Tennant gets a bunch of action this episode but no real character development. Benesch gets most of it, then Koma gets some towards the end, and Tennant provides slight support to each. It’s just not his place to provide the support, which the episode makes clear. He’s just not the right person to do it.

For Benesch, the right person is Duncan. For Koma… well, he gives Tennant the chance to step up, but Tennant’s still British, after all. I’m not sure the show’s intentionally pacing out Tennant’s character development to have him become more sympathetic to a white British girl over a black Frenchman, but it does ring frustratingly true. Moreover, the indifference puts Koma in a quandary; with fellow white woman Duncan around to provide counsel, Benesch doesn’t need Koma’s.

The episode doesn’t talk about any of it, of course—well, except Duncan, it goes into length about Watkins’s assassination of her character, and then Elkihel will get a great monologue about the repercussions—but there’s so much frustrating tragic subtext.

This episode has some terrific director from Steve Barron and probably the series’s most successful effects sequence (a sand storm). Great support from Duncan and Elkihel, and Benesch’s best performance so far.

Hopefully, they’ll stop threatening to send Benesch home because she’s a woman after this episode. They promise they will, but I think they promised it in both previous episodes. And hopefully, there will be time for a relaxed episode at some point.

But even with adhering to its formula, “Around the World”’s truly superb.

The Equalizer (2021) s02e08 – Separated

So when they said Chris Noth would not be appearing on future episodes of “The Equalizer,” I guess they meant after this episode. Though the entire time it seems like they’re setting Noth up for a farewell hero arc and it as a surprise when he didn’t ride off into the sunset. What’s stranger is if it’s not a farewell hero arc; they saved the “Adam Goldberg gets caught” story only to resolve it in a single episode.

Noth spends the episode trying to convince government types to let Goldberg go, leading to a very frank scene where Noth tells a general (Peter Jay Fernandez) the U.S. maybe shouldn’t be proud it tortured people. This episode has a lot of very frank talk overall. The A-plot is about a little kid Logan J. Alarcon-Poucel who ICE lost after taking him from mom Andrea Cortés and the episode doesn’t talk around calling out the inhumanity and international criminality of the United States government.

Though the show also makes up a Biden policy about anyone affected by the child separation policy getting a free three-year visa. Like the U.S. government admits wrongdoing.

Speaking of wrongdoing… there’s also a scene where Noth asks Liza Lapira why she doesn’t like him, which I feel like they should’ve cut. It doesn’t add much to the episode and it’s cringe as hell.

But it’s a good episode for Lapira, who gets to do the tech stuff since Goldberg’s in jail, but she also gets to do action stuff. There’s also some cute moments for Tory Kittles and Queen Latifah since their mission this time is unquestionably on the side of the angels. Though without Goldberg to do better Googling about suspects, Latifah finds her assumptions incorrect.

It’s an uncomplicated good guys and bad guys episode—I don’t know the last time Latifah kicking a bunch of shitty white men’s asses ever felt as thrilling to watch—and reasonably tense throughout.

Lorraine Toussaint’s only in the episode for a scene and Laya DeLeon Hayes’s away, maybe because Noth’s got such a big—but also just filler—subplot.

It feels very weird having Noth get such a glowing spotlight episode for his (presumably) last appearance, given they shit-canned him following numerous sexual assault allegations. I wonder if the made-up fairy tale ending for people who suffered incalculable harm at hands of the U.S. government (because the show’s assuming no one affected would ever be watching this show, kind of ditto Noth’s victims), was meant to give it another obvious, potential distraction.

Like, without any context or responsibility or accountability, it’s a fine episode but it’s also a hell of a thing.

Around the World in 80 Days (2021) s01e02

Last episode, it seemed very much like David Tennant, despite being top-billed, was just going to be “Around the World in 80 Days” ’s monied catalyst. He can afford this great adventure, but it’s going to be Ibrahim Koma and Leonie Benesch’s story. Koma’s a working-class (Black) Frenchman on the run from at least responsibility and maybe some other things; Benesch’s a woman in the Victorian world, where no one thinks she can do anything. Together, they’re going to help foppish, incapable Tennant accomplish his task while talking crap about him behind his back. Including Benesch going all-in on the era’s toxic masculinity, at least when it comes to Tennant. He’s a fraud, they’re sure, and Benesch has hung her ambitions on him.

Only in this episode it turns out Tennant’s very much going to be the lead. And the show’s going to directly interrogate the toxic expectations.

Tennant, Koma, and Benesch start the episode by crash landing their hot air balloon and catching an Italian train, where Tennant runs afoul of a self-made industrialist, Giovanni Scifoni. Scifoni doesn’t like British blue bloods, and he doesn’t like his son, Cristian De Vergori, bonding with Tennant. So a lot of the episode is just Scifoni browbeating Tennant into feeling like this “Around the World” adventure will inevitably fail. Koma and Benesch agree—amongst themselves—with Benesch embracing that toxic masculinity dismissal of Tennant. It makes Benesch unlikable, which the episode evens out with all the workers on the train hating her because she talks and she’s a woman. She’s hanging out with Koma, who’s hanging out with the train drivers and conductors, who like her when she’s decorative and not at all when she speaks. Well, except maybe conductor Simone Coppo, who ends up being compassionate. Mostly because Coppo’s really good.

After the initial dustups with Sciofoni, Tennant spends the episode pensive, making brusque observations about himself—while avoiding giving Benesch the background into his personal history she desires—and it’s all about the performance. Tennant’s captivating in his brooding silence. It’s an exceptional performance given the constraints of the project—it’s a TV adaptation of a Victorian novel, after all, and Tennant brings a whole new layer to it.

Of course, there are some other layers, thanks to Koma not really fitting in with the Italian working class. He’ll eventually win them over (and then reject their friendship thanks to his self-loathing). “Around the World” has layer upon layer, the eventual Tennant arc coming as a surprise, with the narrative distance gracefully shifting a quarter of the way into the episode. Again, Steve Barron’s direction is excellent.

Also, the technology aspect. There isn’t much in the way of expository dumps about how new technologies are changing lives. Instead, the show just shows the characters experiencing it and its newness. It’s very cool.

Of the main stars, Benesch gets the least material. First, she’s decorative to Tennant’s initial plotline—she’s allowed to socialize with the first-class passengers while Koma’s off with the workers. Then she’s support to Koma’s character development. Finally, both she and Koma are support to Tennant’s arc, as an unexpected crisis allows him to excel. There’s some foreshadowing with the crisis, just not with it being Tennant who’ll get to do anything with it.

Lots of good acting in the supporting cast, particularly Sciofoni. De Vergori’s a reasonably likable kid, but it’s because he’s sympathetic, not because he’s good. Instead, because Sciofoni’s an exceptional asshole of a dad.

At the end of the last episode, I was impressed with “Around the World in 80 Days”’s presentation of the time period and thoughtfulness in its characterizations, but at the end of this episode… the show’s going even more places. Particularly with Tennant. It’s probably too early to say, but this performance might be the best one of his I’ve ever seen. There’s something singular about it, which is even more impressive considering he’s doing it in an adaptation of a 150-year-old novel. Albeit an excellent adaptation.

The show’s gearing up to be something special.

Around the World in 80 Days (2021) s01e01

“Around the World in 80 Days” immediately showcases why adapting Victorian novels is a good idea right now. You can do whiz-bang CGI effects for them, but you can also make a white guy the hero and then have marginalized people in the supporting roles and get away with it. The white man was the inarguable king of the Western World. In “World” ’s case, the white guy is David Tennant, and the marginalized folks are Black guy Ibrahim Koma and white woman Leonie Benesch. However, no one really craps on Koma for being Black since he’s also French, and Frenchmen are much more shitting-on-worthy (according to “World”). Meanwhile, Benesch is busting ass to establish herself as a journalist, and her own father (Jason Watkins) is erasing her, giving her a male pseudonym.

Meanwhile, Tennant’s generally incapable and only survives thanks to Koma. And mercenary nuns.

The episode opens with Tennant receiving a postcard with a single word—“Coward”—with no postmark. We’ll find out he’s got a series of these postcards, though it’s unclear if they all have “Coward” written on them, and his fellow rich men think he’s, well, a coward. Koma is a waiter at Tennant’s club, which is why he’s in the story, and then Benesch’s there because dad Watkins is one of Tennant’s fellows at said club. The other important guy at the club is Peter Sullivan, who spends his time trying to humiliate Tennant whenever possible.

Benesch is upset with Watkins because he took her name off an article about how it’s now possible—thanks to technology—to circumnavigate the globe in eighty days. Tennant reads that article and, full of piss and vinegar from the postcard, declares he will attempt such a journey. Sullivan mocks him and publicly bets against him, setting Tennant up for failure. Thanks to some poor personal choices, Koma finds himself in need of a new position and becomes Tennant’s valet—unaware they’ll be traveling the globe—because Tennant’s existing butler, Richard Wilson, is old and useless.

Once Benesch finds out Tennant’s going to attempt the trip, she tells dad Watkins she’s tagging along, and he better not give her a dude’s name in her column recounting the adventure.

All this setup is rapid, and the real action of the episode happens once they get to Paris. The French people getting screwed over by their government. Koma’s been out of the country for some personal reasons—on the run from responsibility—so when they get there, and the police have closed the train station, stalling their trip on the first day, no one’s happy. Tennant’s incapable of fending for himself, Benesch doesn’t realize it’s actually dangerous, and Koma’s just trying to survive seeing revolutionary brother Loic Djani again.

Tennant spends much of the episode passive, only getting his steam going when he realizes Benesch is in danger and he can’t get friend Watkins’s daughter killed. Koma hasn’t been honest with Tennant about his history (or his present situation), so Tennant’s mostly unaware of that angle. But Benesch gets the whole story, which creates an interesting relationship between her and Koma.

It’s all solidly acted—Koma’s the best here, getting to be flashy and proactive while Tennant and Benesch are reactive—with superb production values and surprisingly strong direction from Steve Barron. I’m saying “surprisingly strong” because I only know Barron from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which I don’t remember being well-directed at all. Quite the opposite. But “Around the World in 80 Days” is well-directed, combining a nice sense of humor with harsh reality. I’m not sure what I was expecting—I haven’t read the Jules Verne novel, and if I’ve ever seen another adaptation, it’s been literal decades—but this one is a somber look at classism, sexism, and politics in the late nineteenth century.

The show’s off to a great start.

The Witcher (2019) s02e08 – Family

It’s the worst-case scenario for our heroes, with Henry Cavill racing to the Witcher Winter Wonderland where he’s sure an eternal evil spirit is after Freya Allan. Anya Chalotra is tagging along with Cavill, desperate to convince him she’s not just really sorry she was going to give Allan to that same evil spirit; she’s also now convinced her purpose in life is to help Allan. Live vicariously through Allan’s magic; it’s okay for Chalotra not to have magic of her own, she says. Cavill isn’t listening; if all the people last episode telling him to give Chalotra a chance got through to him, the current crisis has him pushing it away.

We know things are bad at the Witcher Winter Wonderland because Allan is dreaming she’s back in her old castle, back with old friend and protector Adam Levy (a first season favorite). And not just Levy, but Jodhi May’s actually back as well. The way they shoot the back of her head, it actually makes me wonder if she was the back of the head cameo a few episodes ago too. Everything’s just right in Allan’s memories, better than it ever could’ve actually been….

Which is good because, in reality, the evil spirit has possessed Allan, and she’s walking around the Witcher keep slicing every Witcher throat she can find. Good thing Cavill gets there in time to stop her from doing in Kim Bodnia; if she’d done Bodnia too, the very nice father and son arc for he and Cavill wouldn’t get its conclusion. Instead, it does; these two warriors are eventually able to bear their emotions to one another. It’s a great moment and possibly Cavill’s most successful of the season. “Witcher” is Cavill doing likable soulful brute amid better performances that caricature plays off.

Cavill and Bodnia and the rest of the Witchers have to fight Allan, who’s not done killing Witchers; she just wanted to take a break to make everyone sad about the situation. The evil spirit gets more powerful the more tragedy in the world—so when elf queen Mecia Simson abandons Mimi Ndiweni to go north and kill a bunch of human babies, it makes things worse for Cavill and Bodnia. Especially since Cavill’s trying to save Allan and just get rid of the evil spirit. Bodnia’s on the fence.

Chalotra and Joey Batey team up to do science stuff—a potion to separate the evil spirit—which is good because Cavill’s plan is to convince Allan to break through and regain control. Except Allan’s not just in her best memories, she’s in her best dreams—this world she’s found herself in doesn’t just have May and Levy alive; Allan’s also reunited with her parents. It’s everything she ever could’ve hoped for.

There’s a lot of political intrigue going on elsewhere—Eamon Farren convinces Ndiweni he’s a really smart co-conspirator, and they should lie about getting Simson and the elves on the warpath. There’s some more with plotter Graham McTavish, but surprisingly nothing about hundreds of babies incinerating or whatever. Given the epilogues have a whole new setting and job description for MyAnna Buring, it wouldn’t be surprising to discover some of the political machinations got cut.

We also get an idea of what Royce Pierreson will be doing next season, a surprise reveal for Farren and Ndiweni’s arc, and a continued delay on evil fire mage Chris Fulton’s employer. Guess the show only wants to have one unknown but known big twist villain at a time.

But at a certain point in the A-plot—which has Cavill and friends fighting some very nasty dinosaurs (you can tell they’re dinosaurs because of the feathers) before a convenient and well-executed resolution—it’s all just about the promise of season three. The episode checks in with the main cast to go over their responsibilities for next season. They could’ve had Batey make some quip about being ready for the next season and got away with it; the A-plot is so successful for Cavill, Allan, and Chalotra. While Chalotra and Cavill did action together last season, it was never epic. They’ve been building towards Cavill and Allan as a team this season, but always with a missing ingredient. Chalotra. Because they really are doing the surrogate family thing, and they’re leaning in on it.

There are some terrible CGI skies. “Witcher” has real problems with CGI skies.

But, otherwise, they’re set.

The wait between first and second season was fine because the first season was just entertaining and often problematic. However, this finale makes it clear the show knows what it’s doing, and it’s just getting bigger from here on out.

So it’s going to be a long wait for season three. Thank goodness they’re already renewed. Cavill does a fine job “leading” the show while Allan and Chalotra’s performances are getting better as their characters develop. Like, I said, they’re set.

The Witcher (2019) s02e05 – Turn Your Back

I neglected to mention there’s a scene last episode with Joey Batey defending his popular song’s use of deceptive timeline chicanery (oh, if they’d called it Westworlding). It’s only important here because the first scene in the episode doesn’t resolve anything from last time; it instead introduces an evil mage, Chris Fulton. Fulton was imprisoned by Jodhi May, Freya Allan’s warrior queen grandma from last season, and since she’s dead, he’s going to get out. As long as he agrees to hunt down Allan.

It happens at some period before Anya Chalotra meets up with Batey again (from last episode) because we return to that scene and find out not everyone on the Continent thinks Batey’s good at the barding thing. It’s a nice funny in what’s going to be a wry episode; Haily Hall gets the script credit. There’s a lot of wry one-liners.

And pronounced grunting from Henry Cavill. “Witcher: Season Two” does really feel like the scripts know what works in the show and leverages accordingly.

So when Batey goes missing after helping Chalotra and her elf friends to safety, it’s going to turn out Fulton’s got him and is going to torture him for information. But, of course, Batey doesn’t really have any information because Cavill dumped him last season, and he’s no longer in the know. Chalotra’s big decision at the cliffhanger was either staying to help Batey or escaping (since she’s on the lamb). Turns out she stayed. Even though it takes about an entire scene to confirm it.

The episode pairs off characters—Chalotra and Batey, Cavill and Royce Pierreson, Allan and Anna Shaffer. Chalotra and Batey have to escape not just Fulton—who’s a fire mage, which complicates things—but also the local authorities. Cavill and Pierreson are investigating fallen monoliths and new monsters, discovering a bunch of world-building backstories. For example, everyone thought the planet resulted from three different worlds colliding; it turns out there might just be giant teleportation devices. Plus, Cavill and Pierreson get to talk about Chalotra—though Cavill doesn’t explain the reason Pierreson’s love will forever go unrequited is Cavill and Chalotra’s love spell—and so “Witcher” is not going to drag out Cavill knowing she’s alive until the season finale.

Another difference from first season.

Speaking of first season, Shaffer takes Allan on a magical flashback to her life pre- “Witcher” war and drama. Only there aren’t any big first-season cameos. Jodhi May’s supposed to be there but just from the back of the head. Otherwise, it’s all about Allan seeing her parents, Gaia Mondadori and Bart Edwards, again. They’re actually back from the first season (I had to check). And lots of scary magic, which breaks Shaffer’s spell and puts her in danger.

Given the only reason they’re doing the magical mystery flashback tour is because Allan wants Kim Bodnia to turn her into a Witcher so she can unlock hidden memories, and Shaffer wants to save Allan from being injected with a potentially fatal mutating agent.

The cliffhanger is Chalotra finding out what the Baba Yaga (Ania Marson) wants her to do in exchange for getting back her magic: hunt Allan too.

There’s also some check-in on the politics stuff with Mimi Ndiweni and Mecia Simson realizing it’s nice to have a partner in power right before Eamon Farren gets back from the enemy lands. Farren’s immediately a dick, and everything Ndiweni worked for is in danger.

Iffy opening with the threat of more Westworlding, and the character names are way too similar and way too indistinct, but a strong episode.

Superman & Lois (2021) s01e08 – Holding the Wrench

This episode starts like it’s going to be a “Lois Lane in therapy” episode—a la Aunt May and Ultimate Spider-Man, obviously—but it quickly turns out Elizabeth Tulloch’s entire arc is to support the boys. I think it technically passes Bechdel—the therapist is a woman, played by Wendy Crewson—and there’s one portion where they don’t mention boys, but they’re really talking about the boys. Whether it’s Tyler Hoechlin, Jordan Elsass, or Wolé Parks; this episode’s about Tulloch finding out her alternate universe history with Parks, complete with flashbacks to womanly traumas on both worlds.

It’s all somewhat manipulative and all moderately successful. The episode juxtaposes Parks’s interrogation with Tulloch and Elsass investigating his mystery RV. At the same time, Inda Navarrette has a typical high school kid subplot involving trying out for the musical while relying on unreliable dad Erik Valdez. Navarrette gives the best performance in the episode, followed by Dylan Walsh. This episode might be Walsh’s best overall performance. Everyone else runs hot and cold.

Worst is Parks, who’s got a concerning lack of chemistry with Tulloch—if they tested them together, whoever okayed it made a big mistake—but Tulloch and Elsass will both disappoint as things go along. Tulloch’s never able to make her past trauma subplot take-off (the dialogue’s just too generic), and Elsass never gets to do any character development. Things happen then he goes off-screen to deal with them, only coming back for the resolve moments. It’s not Norma Bailey’s direction’s fault either; the script, credited to Kristi Korzec, never delivers.

There’s some good action—Bailey gets to direct Hoechlin in a Kryptonian street fight—and some great humans in jeopardy moments, but for the big resolution to Parks’s subplot to this point… it’s a goofy finish. The show’s got the problem everyone in it could be the protagonist, so the show’s too unfocused.

It does end up having a reasonably nice subplot for Alex Garfin, who’s barely in it and nothing with the Super-Family, rather doing support for Navarrette. There are also some C plot machinations for Emmanuelle Chriqui.

Given the end result of the episode is getting Parks settled and Tulloch and Hoechlin informed, it’s actually a bridging episode, albeit a busy, cluttered one. It’s middling, but with some good moments. And the show’s aiming so high with the “Superman and Lois” family drama bit, even being mildly successful given all the soapiness is… fine.

Though it’d have been nice if Crewson were better. The show really needs to do better with its guest spots.

Superman & Lois (2021) s01e04 – Haywire

Okay, the show’s getting to the family part of the family drama—not to mention real Superman action (James Bamford does a good job with it, despite the costume colors being too muted and Metropolis being a little too on the cheap)—and it’s the best episode. “Superman & Lois” is on the precipice of being genuinely (with qualifications) interesting.

The catalyst ends up being Dylan Walsh, who drops in unannounced to spend a weekend with the fam. Only Walsh actually wants to decide whether or not he can keep Tyler Hoechlin under control when all Hoechlin seems to want to do is be a good dad to Jordan Elsass and Alex Garfin. In this case, as their assistant football coach. Only since Garfin’s the star player and Junior Superboy, Hoechlin’s unintentionally paying too much attention to him. It’s making regular human son Elsass jealous, but it’s also giving Elsass time to bond with teammate Wern Lee. Lee was the kid hurt in the pilot when Garfin zapped a campfire, and it blew up, so Lee and Elsass are on the bench a bunch together.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Tulloch’s trying to convince the town not to side with evil gazillionaire Adam Rayner. Rayner wants to take over the Smallville mines (Shuster Mines, actually, but same idea) and is promising full wallets and bright futures. The episode manages to make local dickhead Erik Valdez sympathetic—he’s too imbued with toxic masculine pride to realize he’s being duped—in no small part thanks to Tulloch. She and Emmanuelle Chriqui have a girls night out to drown their recent wounds—Rayner’s taking a liking to Chriqui and creeping on her while Valdez sits by obviously while Tulloch’s mad about Hoechlin going off and saving the world or something for her dad—and even though the scene’s fairly standard stuff (doesn’t even try to pass Bechdel), both Tulloch and Chriqui put work into it. And it pays off for both of them.

Loudly for Tulloch, quietly for Chriqui. Family drama stuff. Real effective in Chriqui’s case, real good in Tulloch’s. Probably her best scene in the series so far. Even if the epilogue lessens the impact because it becomes about the “Superman” in “Superman & Lois” again.

Decent acting from Hoechlin helps too. He’s got to remain square-jawed but still develop. He oddly seems more comfortable acting in a cap than without, which is strange. But decent. Especially since Elsass is doing really well as the super-empathetic one.

Brendan Fletcher guest stars as villain Killgrave. Is he a comic book villain? Superman’s got less than ten memorable villains. Though he can get a lot more because we find out red kryptonite is the super-soldier formula. They call it X-Kryptonite, which is lacking. Where’s the panache? Apparently, over on “Supergirl” with Jon Cryer. Anyway, Fletcher’s good enough.

Rayner’s not, though. He’s a drag.

But the show’s starting to get somewhere. Even without MacGuffin season villain Wolé Parks making an appearance.

I Come in Peace (1990, Craig P. Baxley)

I Come in Peace is a Dolph Lundgren versus alien movie. It’s from the period before Lundgren went to acting classes but had gotten rid of his Swedish accent, which ends up working against the picture. The terrible one-liners might have some personality if Lundgren had some accented inflection. Or if he just lost the accent. But no. He’s monotone. He’s not unlikeable; he’s just monotone.

Brian Benben is his partner. Benben’s unlikeable but not incompetent. The bad guy–Peace doesn’t have Predator, Robocop, Terminator 1, maybe Trancers money, so the bad guy is just tall guy Matthias Hues. He’s got in opaque white contact lenses, and he grins in what someone thinks is maniacal. He’s unlikable and incompetent.

Peace has some ingredients for being a good sci-fi action camp, but it always messes them up. Lundgren without the accent, Hues in general, Benben. Then the supporting cast. First is Lundgren’s girlfriend, Betsy Brantley. She’s got too good of timing for the movie. Director Baxley likes to blow things up and shows his most enthusiasm when there are pyrotechnics going off. And he’s apparently competent enough with them to convince Lundgren, Benben, and Brantley they’re safe enough they don’t need stunt people for all the shots. So when Peace goes “boom,” the booms are impressively boomy. The scenes aren’t, you know, well-directed or even better directed, but the boom is impressive.

Baxley’s also particularly bad with things like headroom. And, what’s that other sort of important one… actors. He’s terrible with the actors. The best performance in the film is Sam Anderson. He’s got one scene. It’s the same lousy material, but Anderson does better with it than anyone else. Anderson’s the vice president of the yuppie gang in the movie—The Whiteboys. Peace is shot on location in Houston (which it doesn’t really emphasize until the third act set pieces, so it’s got more a Toronto vibe), and a better movie could’ve done something with a yuppie gang. The script’s from Jonathan Tydor and David Koepp; Koepp wanted more work in the future, so he went with a possibly Pychonian pseudonym Leonard Maas Jr. (cousin of Oedipa?); one of them definitely knew what worked in Robocop. Then there’s the alien thing.

Hues is an intergalactic drug dealer, come to Earth to harvest our endorphins. How do you get the best endorphins from humans? You o.d. them on heroin then suck out their brain juices. So it’s remarkably similar to Predator 2 at times. Peace is an entirely inconsequential bad sci-fi action movie from the era of bad sci-fi action movies. It’s a knock-off twice removed but still (academically) interesting.

Good guy alien Jay Bilas is trying to stop Hues, Houston is their battleground, Lundgren is the toughest cop in the city with a heart of gold and great taste in wine, of course, titans will collide. It’s so much more entertaining when you pretend the aliens are Battlefield Earth Psychlos (because they’re alien in their height and discount store Predator weapons). I Come in Peace: A Saga of the Year 1990; they wish.

Jim Haynie’s terrible as the police captain. Ditto David Ackroyd as the FBI suit (though Haynie’s worse). No one knew yet in 1990 to get actual good actors in supporting roles to legitimize a picture instead of getting good performances out of middling character actors. Or at least not Baxley.

Sherman Howard’s appropriately slimy as the lead “Whiteboy.”

For some reason, Michael J. Pollard is also in the movie.

Bad photography from Mark Irwin doesn’t help anything—especially not with Baxley’s wanting composition.

Peace is a laborious ninety minutes. Its lack of personality makes even its badness bland.

Doom Patrol (2019) s01e12 – Cyborg Patrol

The episode opens with Cyborg (Joivan Wade) imprisoned by the U.S. government—led by Jon Briddell, who is still nowhere near good enough for his part and they also don’t explain how they went from him being missing two episodes ago to the main villain in this one—only Wade has turned off “Grid,” his cybernetics’ operating system so he’s powerless. Sort of? Eventually Wade gets to do the “try and escape from my obviously escape-proof cell, which has a lot of vents” thing but it’s after he does a whole whiney thing about not being a superhero anymore.

It’s awful in a few ways.

But once Wade meets next-door neighbor, a very amusing Devan Long, who apparently hasn’t shaved or cut his hair in sixty years, the episode gets on a little surer footing; Long sits around and watches soap operas; he tells Wade to chill.

Meanwhile, back at Doom Manor (yep), Diane Guerrero is mad because no one’s paying attention to her wanting to call her first team meeting. Eventually everyone gets there and they decide not to tell Wade’s dad, Phil Morris, about the kidnapping. They’re going to handle it on their own. It’s an interesting scene because Guerrero and April Bowlby have a lot more information about Wade’s current problems than Matt Bomer or Robotman (Brendan Fraser and Riley Shanahan). It seems like it might go somewhere.

It doesn’t because Morris shows up immediately, demanding to see Wade, and they immediately change their minds and tell him. Only then Morris decides he’s going to lead the mission himself and it takes some convincing to get the team to go along with him.

The episode’s that adventure, which has its ups and downs, what must be comic book guest cameo and what one only hopes can be (hashtag beware the butts), and a fairly effective—albeit obvious and predictable—conclusion. There’s some good acting from the regular cast in their action episode, plus great acting from Morris, who really isn’t going to get the credit for the dramatic he deserves; Alicia Ying’s a wonderful guest star.

Mac Wells is so bad you wish Guerrero would kill him to get their scene over with. And when it does finally turn into Guerrero’s scene… they kind of punt as far as having her execute it. “Doom Patrol”’s way too comfortable asking for a pass on Guerrero’s performance.

Good script—Robert Berens and Shoshana Sachi—good performances, not super-impressed sets.

The secret underground lab looks less impressive than the one in Return of Swamp Thing, complete with some Brazil homage. Still doesn’t look particularly good.

And Briddell’s a real drag.

But otherwise….