Detective Comics 799 (December 2004)

201568 Besides a vaguely amusing Jesus Christ Superstar reference in this issue, there’s not much else to it. Things continue to go wrong with Batman’s plans for the “War Games” crossover, the sidekicks continue to have panel or two cameos to remind readers to pick up their solo books and Leslie has a scene. Oh, and the new commissioner is stick of Batman.

In other words, the status quo for the crossover.

Batman’s plan this issue involves putting every Gotham supervillain in the same place at once. Did the Batman editors watch The Warriors before they decided to subject the world to this crossover? How Batman didn’t anticipate something going wrong… I mean, Killer Croc is there. It’s an absurd scene.

Gabrych can’t sell it. Woods and inker Cam Smith do okay though.

The Riddler backup finishes. Castillo’s art is a little better, but it’s still a terrible story. Just terrible.

CREDITS

War Games, Act 3, Part 1: Good Intentions; writer, Andersen Gabrych; penciller, Pete Woods; inker, Cam Smith; colorist, Jason Wright; letterer, Jared Fletcher; editors, Michael Wright and Bob Schreck. Low, Part 3; writer, Shane McCarthy; penciller, Tommy Castillo; inker, Rodney Ramos; colorist, Tony Avina; letterer, Nick Napolitano; editor, Wright. Publisher, DC Comics.

Bloodshot 12 (June 2013)

275213 20130728183320 large I’ve only read a few issues of Bloodshot but it seems like a big part of what Swierczynski does is have contrived scenes with Bloodshot and the men who wrong him in the past. It’ll seem like Bloodshot is finished, his nanites unable to repair him, but then he’ll magically come through thanks to the perseverance of the human spirit.

Especially against the very evil bad guys.

It’s really boring, especially since Swierczynski never comes up with good places for these action sequences. This issue’s takes place in a mechanized slaughterhouse. Feels a little like the end of the first Terminator movie, only without any drama.

Meanwhile, the kids and their babysitter are under siege in their transportation vehicle. The bad guys can remotely control the vehicle’s auto-lock system. It’s real silly and really dumb.

The art from Kitson and Gaudiano is quite good. Swierczynski’s script not so much.

CREDITS

Writer, Duane Swierczynski; penciller, Barry Kitson; inkers, Stefano Gaudiano and Kitson; colorist, Brian Reber; letterer, Rob Steen; editors, Jody LeHeup and Warren Simons; publisher, Valiant Entertainment.

The Decelerators (2012, Mark Slutsky)

I was tempted to start with a joke-something about how The Decelerators is an incredibly profound short film about the human condition, going on about it facetiously for a paragraph, then revealing the film is not actually incredibly profound and I was making a joke.

The film is sort of “a potential film,” like director Slutsky is trying to get investors to expand the film into a feature. There’s no dialogue, just narration from unnamed characters who are onscreen acting glimpses of scenes. The uncredited editor-Slutsky perhaps-does a fantastic job and the music from CFCF is perfect. It’s just not profound.

Having multiple earnest voice actors read the lines, the film nearly convinces one to suspend his or her disbelief. But the narration doesn’t consistently flow and Slutsky’s insincerity becomes clear. Never does the short feel ambitious or excited.

Great photography from Bobby Shore too.

But… meh.

1/3 Not Recommended

CREDITS

Written and directed by Mark Slutsky; director of photography, Bobby Shore; music by CFCF.


RELATED

OTHER 2012 RELEASES

Butcher, Baker, Candlestickmaker 4 (October 2011)

840995 I have to give it to Ennis, he does come up with one hectic of a death scene for Butcher’s wife. I always assumed it was something similar to Hughie’s but no. Ennis and Robertson pace that sequence beautifully. The way Ennis gets there though, it has some problems.

One of the things Butcher does, regardless of its problems, is bring the reader out of the Boys universe. It’s Margaret Thatcher, it’s Falklands War, it’s real. Bringing in the superheroes at the end without any context… it’s jarring and it reminds the reader Ennis is just doing this series to cash in. It also appears the two things can’t exist at once; Ennis has never textured his scenes in the the regular series like he does here.

There’s not much else to say about the issue. The death of the brother is really contrived. It’s a cheap, somewhat effective issue.

CREDITS

The Last Time to Look On This World of Lies; writer, Garth Ennis; artist, Darick Robertson; colorist, Tony Aviña; letterer, Simon Bowland; editor, Joseph Rybandt; publisher, Dynamite Entertainment.

Pretty Deadly 1 (October 2013)

287188 20131023124715 large I think Pretty Deadly is off to a good start but it’s hard to say for sure. Kelly Sue DeConnick is doing a maybe supernaturally themed Western and, if she’s not, she’s doing revisionist Western. Or she’s doing both at once.

After this first issue, I think the revisionism is clear–she and artist Emma Rios are looking at female characters in the Old West. More, the protagonist of the comic is a kid. It’s not clear how old she’s supposed to be, probably twelve or thirteen; she and an old blind guy apparently go from town to town and tell stories for tips. The storytelling sequence is real rough going. Rios goes wild with it. The enthusiasm gets it through.

The second half of the issue reveals the problem–the kid, Sissy, she stole something she shouldn’t have. Now there’s the bad woman after her.

Deadly’s competent and interesting.

B+

CREDITS

Writer, Kelly Sue DeConnick; artist, Emma Rios; colorist, Jordie Bellaire; letterer, Clayton Cowles; editor, Sigrid Ellis; publisher, Image Comics.

2000 AD 26 (20 August 1977)

66778 20061016100519 large I guess I haven’t been paying attention but the lead of Invasion, Bill Savage, barely even registers a presence anymore. Finley-Day is more concerned with the setting of his stories than the content.

Harlem Heroes, with Belardinelli art and Tully apparently wrapping up, is far more pleasant. Home stretch hopefully. It’s still incomprehensible nonsense.

The Shako story is great. Wagner does a Cuckoo’s Nest homage while Lopez-Vera does a great job on the art. A little Inuit kid befriends Shako, which is adorable.

Steve Moore writes a weak Future-Shock. Horacio Lalia’s on the art. It’s not memorable either.

The M.A.C.H. 1 story introduces space aliens. Not sure if anything else matters. It’s goofy beyond belief; Jaime Marzal-Canós really doesn’t pace it well either.

Wagner writes a decent enough Dredd, with three acts in maybe five pages. McMahon does well until he overfills the final two pages.

CREDITS

Invasion, Bluebird; writer, Gerry Finley-Day; artist, Carlos Pino; letterer, John Aldrich. Harlem Heroes, Part Twenty-six; writer, Tom Tully; artist , Massimo Belardinelli; letterer, Pete Knight. Shako, Part Seven; writer, John Wagner; artist, Lopez-Vera; letterer, Tony Jacob. Tharg’s Future-Shocks, Food for Thought; writer, Steve Moore; artist, Horacio Lalia; letterer, Jack Potter. M.A.C.H. 1, The Death Trumpet; writer, Steve MacManus; artist, Jaime Marzal-Canós; letterer, Knight. Judge Dredd, Dream Palace; writer, Wagner; artist, Mike McMahon; letterer, Jacob. Editor, Kelvin Gosnell; publisher, IPC.

Harbinger 13 (June 2013)

275210 20130728192938 large Why is Dysart even doing this issue? It reads like a summary of an action scene, which suggests he or Swierczynski will cover the actual action in either Harbinger Wars or Bloodshot. Probably both, actually, given what doesn’t occur in this comic.

What does occur, besides the flashback stuff, is the gang acting incompetent. I think Faith gave them a superhero team name, but I can’t remember. The Renegades, maybe?

Anyway, Torque’s still a jerk and they’re no good at stopping a single moving vehicle. It’s sort of sad.

The “interesting” stuff in the comic is the flashback to when Toyo goes up against P.R.S. back in the late sixties. Dysart is vaguely interested in these scenes and they don’t read like rote. Sadly, he seems most interested into the idea of a harbinger during the Civil Rights movement–one page.

This crossover event is strangling Dysart at this point.

CREDITS

Writer, Joshua Dysart; artists, Khari Evans and Trevor Hairsine; colorist, Ian Hannin; letterer, Rob Steen; editors, Josh Johns and Warren Simons; publisher, Valiant Entertainment.

The Westing Game (1997, Terence H. Winkless)

The Westing Game might be the perfect example of why a novel should never be turned into a movie. There are a lot of examples of the inverse, but watching Westing Game… it’s hard to imagine ever wanting to see a book adapted into a film again.

There are no redeeming qualities to the film, unless one wants to count Lewis Arquette not being atrocious like everyone else. Dylan Kelsey Hadley’s script is so bad, not even Ray Walston can deliver his lines well. Watching the movie, there’s not much to do besides pick out the worst performances.

What’s extraordinary about the film is how often director Winkless invites the viewer to laugh at the characters. Jim Lau’s Chinese restauranteur is a stereotype from the forties, Sally Kirkland’s neurotic, spinster secretary plays like… wait, I figured it out. Winkless and Hadley aren’t so much interested in adapting a novel as they are turning an episode of “Scooby Doo” into a movie.

A really bad episode of “Scooby Doo.”

The source novel is technically a kids’ book–it won the Newbery Medal, which is for juvenile fiction–so I assume the adaptation’s target audience is kids. Really dumb kids. The movie follows around Ashley Peldon, who’s tragically precocious and wise beyond her years.

It’s a big mistake, as Peldon’s awful. Though she’s not as bad as June Christopher, Diane Nadeau or Sandy Faison. The less said about Shane West–who plays a surprisingly fit disabled kid–the better.

Westing is atrocious.

Butcher, Baker, Candlestickmaker 3 (September 2011)

840994 1 Why am I reading this comic? It’s a family drama this issue–oh, wait, Butcher meets the greatest woman in the world and she totally changes his life with her patience and inner beauty. Of course her death would send him over the cliff–she doesn’t die here, it’s way too soon, but I do think Ennis has established she does die.

It’s like a happy scene in a soap opera, page after page, over and over again. Ennis is completely incapable of writing these scenes honestly. I wonder if he had someone give him a list of trite romantic blather for them to recite.

Even Robertson has checked out a little. Drawing talking heads for terrible dialogue must have been annoying.

There’s not a good or honest moment in the entire issue. I kind of don’t want to read any more of it. I’ve entirely lost interest in Butcher.

CREDITS

It Must Be Love, Love, Love; writer, Garth Ennis; artist, Darick Robertson; colorist, Tony Aviña; letterer, Simon Bowland; editor, Joseph Rybandt; publisher, Dynamite Entertainment.

Star Trek 26 (October 2013)

If it weren’t for the terrible art from Fajar, this issue might actually be pretty good. Johnson splits the crew–spending Spock off to consult the Federation while everyone on the Enterprise questions him leaving Kirk and Kirk off with the Klingons as a prisoner.

Johnson’s juxtaposition is interesting because Kirk’s the one who has the most faith in Spock; now, will Johnson answer the question of whether Kirk has faith in Spock’s own decision making or does Kirk really have faith the human crew will convince Spock to act. Or will Johnson ignore that plot thread because he’s really more about wowing the reader.

Except Johnson has no ammunition. As a sequel to Into Darkness, this story arc will always have to be muted–it’s a poorly drawn licensed comic after all. Paramount won’t allow anything major.

It’s a fine enough issue, though the hard cliffhanger is spectacularly lame.

CREDITS

The Khitomer Conflict, Part Two; writer, Mike Johnson; artist, Erfan Fajar; colorists, Ifansyah Noor and Sakti Yuwono; letterer, Tom B. Long; editor, Sarah Gaydos; publisher, IDW Publishing.