Caught in a Ham (2019, Miguel Jiron)

I think I went into Caught in a Ham with unduly high hopes (I’ve been a Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham since 1983) and apparently I’m enough of a purist to be a little upset Spider-Ham loses out on half his four minute cartoon so it can tie into Into the Spider-Verse. There’s also the issue of him getting the shaft on the runtime. If you’re going to ape an old Looney Tunes cartoon, give it at least seven minutes. Four just isn’t enough. Especially not when half of it is bridging material, which is the nature of the made-for-home-video-supplement beast but whatever. Have some respect for the brand.

Anyway.

The cartoon opens fine. Spider-Ham swinging through the city, making jokes about the hot dog he’s about to eat (I don’t remember cannibalism from the old comics but I was in grade school) and he gets into trouble with a painfully uncool villain, Doctor Crawdaddy. Oh, right. John Mulaney voices Spider-Ham, Aaron LaPlante voices Doctor Crawdaddy. They’re both fine. There’s not much for them to do. LaPlante’s the butt of Mulaney’s jokes and gags, which are lifted—most obviously—from Bugs and Elmer and then something else with slamming doors and hallways. I can’t remember if it’s Tom and Jerry but it’s something. I feel like there’s a cat in it.

Caught in a Ham, considering how “meta” it gets, would do just as well if not better to give citations on screen with the nods because they’re not meant to be discreet and citations would—do something.

Because once LaPlante’s Doctor Crawdaddy disappears and the cartoon gets very meta about Spider-Ham being a digitally animated creation being digitally animated, it becomes obvious it’s not adding up to anything. And it doesn’t. It just sends Spider-Ham, presumably, off into the Spider-Verse, where—hopefully—he gets more to do than in his own truncated cartoon.

Maybe it plays better after Spider-Verse but it certainly shouldn’t.

The animation’s good. Wish there was more of it and less perfunctorily animated meta-nonsense.

Star Trek 7 (October 1980)

Star Trek #7Tom DeFalco’s Trek script feels a little too generic. He doesn’t bring much personality to the principal cast members, saving it instead for Scotty and Uhura. She gives him a very clear bicep squeeze for support. It’s interesting.

But Kirk just occasionally yells when he’s stressed out and Bones makes a quip or two at Spock’s expense. DeFalco doesn’t write Spock well. It’s probably hard to write the character after Star Trek: The Motion Picture as the character just went under a major change. DeFalco tries with it and does not succeed.

Still, Michael Netzer does a great job on the pencils. He does lots of stuff with panel layout and with perspective in space. The Enterprise shooting while rotated and so on. The art is very imaginative. And Janson inks it beautifully. All the art’s good, some is better.

DeFalco moves the issue well too; it’s just got problems.

B- 

CREDITS

Tomorrow or Yesterday; writer, Tom DeFalco; penciller, Michael Netzer; inker, Klaus Janson; colorist, Carl Gafford; letterer, Ray Burzon; editor, Louise Jones; publisher, Marvel Comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #259

Asm259

Lot of Ditko homage on the last pages, even with the filmic–especially for the eighties–pacing of Peter suiting up in the red and blue.

It’s sort of a weak finish to a great issue. Most of the issue–except some ill-advised attention on Hobgoblin (providing the action)–is Mary Jane telling Peter all about her life.

DeFalco does an amazing job with the Mary Jane stuff. It’s this heart-wrenching confession–as Mary Jane assesses herself and her past actions–mixed with Peter’s internal reaction. It might be one of the most touching comics I’ve read about a major property, just because it’s so delicate. It doesn’t even with Peter and Mary Jane heading off to the altar–far from it. DeFalco seems to be aware if he went that route, it’d flush the story’s value.

Frenz does an excellent job (albeit within his abilities) here too.

The Amazing Spider-Man 259 (December 1984)

28105-1.jpg
Lot of Ditko homage on the last pages, even with the filmic–especially for the eighties–pacing of Peter suiting up in the red and blue.

It’s sort of a weak finish to a great issue. Most of the issue–except some ill-advised attention on Hobgoblin (providing the action)–is Mary Jane telling Peter all about her life.

DeFalco does an amazing job with the Mary Jane stuff. It’s this heart-wrenching confession–as Mary Jane assesses herself and her past actions–mixed with Peter’s internal reaction. It might be one of the most touching comics I’ve read about a major property, just because it’s so delicate. It doesn’t even with Peter and Mary Jane heading off to the altar–far from it. DeFalco seems to be aware if he went that route, it’d flush the story’s value.

Frenz does an excellent job (albeit within his abilities) here too.

CREDITS

All My Pasts Remembered!; writer, Tom DeFalco; penciller, Ron Frenz; inker, Joe Rubinstein; colorist, Bob Sharen; letterer, Joe Rosen; editors, Bob DeNataleh and Danny Fingeroth; publisher, Marvel Comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #258

Asm258

I knew I liked these eighties Spider-Man issues. It just took DeFalco a while to bring it around (though it could all be the nostalgia talking).

What’s important about this issue isn’t the beginning, which cops out of the previous cliffhanger and then strangely sends Black Cat off to Neverland instead of resolving a new situation with her… but the end.

The majority of the issue is spent getting the black costume tested by Reed Richards and then taken off Spidey. There’s some funny stuff with the Torch–it’s amazing how much better DeFalco does when he’s writing Spider-Man around other superheroes instead of trying to handle his Peter Parker stuff–and a couple nice Ditko homages.

But the ending–Mary Jane shows up to talk to Peter. I didn’t think she would show up… figured DeFalco would draw it out.

He doesn’t and it’s a lovely move.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #257

Asm257

What a cliffhanger! Mary Jane reveals to Peter she knows he’s Spider-Man! All with some weak Ron Frenz faces. I actually liked most of Frenz’s work this issue, when he was doing the action stuff–the fight between Puma and Spider-Man had some nice moves and it worked. But when Peter gets back to Mary Jane for a talking heads scene?

Ick.

Frenz can’t keep the faces constant from panel to panel on the same page.

He seems to get the hair right though, on both of them. I guess hair’s something.

It’s a somewhat boring, contrived issue–with the exception of the long fight scene. Black Cat bitches and moans–in thought balloons–about how common Peter Parker lives. She’s such an unsympathetic character. They should have killed her off at this point. Mary Jane shows up to annoy Peter, then reveals the secret.

Still, not atrocious.

The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #256

Asm256

Why have a Native American superhero when you can have a Native American supervillain!

The politics of Puma (this issue is his first appearance) are fantastic–successful Native Americans use their special abilities to become assassins for hire. It’s great. You’d never see this kind of thing today.

Maybe Jason Aaron can do a Puma MAX series, after he’s done with Scalped.

Otherwise, it’s a fine enough eighties Spider-Man costume. Frenz isn’t great, but he’s enthusiastic and he works–most pages have nine panels–and his Peter Parker looks like a grown up Ditko Peter Parker. There’s a nostalgic appeal to it.

The writing’s pretty lazy. DeFalco repeats the same expository revelation two pages after the first mention. Then there’s the when he comments on the Black Cat and her “colorful” namesake. Pretty sure a black cat is monotone.

There’s nothing particularly good about it, but nothing bad either.

The Amazing Spider-Man 258 (November 1984)

28104.jpg
I knew I liked these eighties Spider-Man issues. It just took DeFalco a while to bring it around (though it could all be the nostalgia talking).

What’s important about this issue isn’t the beginning, which cops out of the previous cliffhanger and then strangely sends Black Cat off to Neverland instead of resolving a new situation with her… but the end.

The majority of the issue is spent getting the black costume tested by Reed Richards and then taken off Spidey. There’s some funny stuff with the Torch–it’s amazing how much better DeFalco does when he’s writing Spider-Man around other superheroes instead of trying to handle his Peter Parker stuff–and a couple nice Ditko homages.

But the ending–Mary Jane shows up to talk to Peter. I didn’t think she would show up… figured DeFalco would draw it out.

He doesn’t and it’s a lovely move.

CREDITS

The Sinister Secret of Spider-Man’s New Costume!; writer, Tom DeFalco; penciller, Ron Frenz; inker, Joe Rubinstein; colorist, Bob Sharen; letterer, Joe Rosen; editors, Bob DeNataleh and Danny Fingeroth; publisher, Marvel Comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man 257 (October 1984)

28103.jpg
What a cliffhanger! Mary Jane reveals to Peter she knows he’s Spider-Man! All with some weak Ron Frenz faces. I actually liked most of Frenz’s work this issue, when he was doing the action stuff–the fight between Puma and Spider-Man had some nice moves and it worked. But when Peter gets back to Mary Jane for a talking heads scene?

Ick.

Frenz can’t keep the faces constant from panel to panel on the same page.

He seems to get the hair right though, on both of them. I guess hair’s something.

It’s a somewhat boring, contrived issue–with the exception of the long fight scene. Black Cat bitches and moans–in thought balloons–about how common Peter Parker lives. She’s such an unsympathetic character. They should have killed her off at this point. Mary Jane shows up to annoy Peter, then reveals the secret.

Still, not atrocious.

CREDITS

Beware the Claws of Puma!; writer, Tom DeFalco; penciller, Ron Frenz; inker, Joe Rubinstein; colorist, Christie Scheele; letterer, Joe Rosen; editors, Bob DeNataleh and Danny Fingeroth; publisher, Marvel Comics.

The Amazing Spider-Man 256 (September 1984)

28102.jpg
Why have a Native American superhero when you can have a Native American supervillain!

The politics of Puma (this issue is his first appearance) are fantastic–successful Native Americans use their special abilities to become assassins for hire. It’s great. You’d never see this kind of thing today.

Maybe Jason Aaron can do a Puma MAX series, after he’s done with Scalped.

Otherwise, it’s a fine enough eighties Spider-Man costume. Frenz isn’t great, but he’s enthusiastic and he works–most pages have nine panels–and his Peter Parker looks like a grown up Ditko Peter Parker. There’s a nostalgic appeal to it.

The writing’s pretty lazy. DeFalco repeats the same expository revelation two pages after the first mention. Then there’s the when he comments on the Black Cat and her “colorful” namesake. Pretty sure a black cat is monotone.

There’s nothing particularly good about it, but nothing bad either.

CREDITS

Introducing… Puma!; writer, Tom DeFalco; penciller, Ron Frenz; inker, Joe Rubinstein; colorist, Christie Scheele; letterer, Joe Rosen; editors, Bob DeNataleh and Danny Fingeroth; publisher, Marvel Comics.