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1985, ⓏⒺⓇⓄ, Comedy

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985, Jerry Paris)

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Julie Brown shows up at the end of Police Academy 2, which doesn’t make much sense since her character is only in one other scene and she doesn’t have a single line. I was left wondering if she didn’t have a bigger role and ended up cut out (she would have been Steve Guttenberg’s love interest–something he doesn’t have in the film). I imagine if she’d been left in the film, it might have been more amusing.

Police Academy 2 actually has a number of good laughs. Art Metrano is the sleazy police officer out to mess up the heroes so he can get a promotion and he does a fine job. Lots of decent jokes involving him. Not so many with anyone else, except maybe David Graf and Colleen Camp, who have the movie’s romance storyline. They both really like guns. It’s occasionally rather funny.

The film suffers from a lack of narrative. Director Paris started on features but ended up in sitcoms and Police Academy 2 plays like a long, bad sitcom episode. The only real storyline is Graf and Camp’s–the rest of the movie revolves around police captain Howard Hesseman in danger of losing his command (to Metrano), but it lacks any drama. One gag after the other propels the script… it would have helped if the film had a protagonist.

Hesseman looks embarrassed most of the time and no actor really stands out–though Bobcat Goldthwait was a few good moments.

It’s pretty dreadful.

0/4ⓏⒺⓇⓄ

CREDITS

Directed by Jerry Paris; screenplay by Barry W. Blaustein and David Sheffield, based on characters created by Neal Israel and Pat Proft; director of photography, James Crabe; edited by Bob Wyman; music by Robert Folk; production designer, Trevor Williams; produced by Paul Maslansky; released by Warner Bros.

Starring Steve Guttenberg (Officer Carey Mahoney), Bubba Smith (Officer Moses Hightower), David Graf (Officer Eugene Tackleberry), Michael Winslow (Officer Larvell Jones), Bruce Mahler (Officer Douglas Fackler), Marion Ramsey (Officer Laverne Hooks), Colleen Camp (Sgt. Kathleen Kirkland), Howard Hesseman (Capt. Peter ‘Pete’ Lassard), Peter Van Norden (Officer Vinnie Schtulman), Lance Kinsey (Sgt. Proctor), Art Metrano (Lt. Mauser), George Gaynes (Cmdt. Eric Lassard), George Robertson (Chief Henry J. Hurst), Tim Kazurinsky (Carl Sweetchuck) and Bobcat Goldthwait (Zed McGlunk).

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1986, ⓏⒺⓇⓄ, Comedy

One Crazy Summer (1986, Savage Steve Holland)

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When Demi Moore gives a film’s best performance, it’s obviously not a good film.

One Crazy Summer is apparently Holland’s attempt at doing a zany teen vacation picture. It’s the kind of movie “USA Up All Night” wouldn’t have bothered playing because it’s too boring. But the real problem isn’t the lack of cheap explotation, it’s Holland’s inability to direct actors.

Or maybe to cast them. It’s hard to say.

Holland opens the film with pseudo-protagonist John Cusack. He’s apparently floundering post-high school because he isn’t a basketball superstar. But Holland never sets up why anyone would think Cusack would be good at basketball. It’s like a repeated punchline without a joke.

But Summer quickly becomes about everyone but Cusack (who romances Moore, eventually, because she’s the only principal female character and all the other guys are meant to be losers). Holland fills it with absurd characters and gives them absurd dialogue, but then either casts bad actors or doesn’t direct them.

Holland is really inept. Bobcat Goldthwait, doing his schtick, isn’t as bad as Joel Murray as Cusack’s sidekick. Murray’s presence makes it somewhat unbelievable One Crazy Summer got a theatrical release, much less Cusack and Moore to sign on. Murray can’t even raise an eyebrow believably.

Also terrible are Bruce Wagner, Matt Mulhern, Joe Flaherty and Mark Metcalf. Some of the problem is probably Holland’s bad script and direction, but still….

Curtis Armstrong is actually pretty good.

The film’s complete indifference to sincerity hurts it immeasurably.

0/4ⓏⒺⓇⓄ

CREDITS

Written and directed by Savage Steve Holland; director of photography, Isidore Mankofsky; edited by Alan Balsam; music by Cory Lerios; production designer, Herman F. Zimmerman; produced by Michael Jaffe; released by Warner Bros.

Starring John Cusack (Hoops McCann), Demi Moore (Cassandra Eldridge), Curtis Armstrong (Ack Ack Raymond), Bobcat Goldthwait (Egg Stork), Joel Murray (George Calamari), William Hickey (Old Man Beckerstead), Joe Flaherty (General Raymond), Mark Metcalf (Aquilla Beckerstead), John Matuszak (Stan), Kimberly Foster (Cookie Campbell), Matt Mulhern (Teddy Beckerstead), Rich Little (Radio contest DJ), Tom Villard (Clay Stork), Jeremy Piven (Ty), Rich Hall (Wilbur, Gas station attendant), Taylor Negron (Taylor, Gas station attendant), Billie Bird (Grandma Calamari) and Bruce Wagner (Uncle Frank).

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