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ONESIES

23.1 Klytus, I'm Bored (Two Hour Premiere), or: The Flash (1990) 1 of 22
2 June 2026
22.7 Finale (Finally), or: Maximum Bob (1998) 7 of 7
18 May 2026
22.6 Patriarchal Hunks (Almost Done), or: Maximum Bob (1998) 6 of 7
2 May 2026
22.5 Unharmed Canines (Low Bars), or: Maximum Bob (1998) 5 of 7
24 April 2026
22.4 Disappointments (Flambé Terrorists), or: Maximum Bob (1998) 4 of 7
17 April 2026

709 Meridian

Masters of the Universe (1987) audio commentary - 709 Meridian - watch-along
1 May 2026
Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) audio commentary - 709 Meridian - watch-along
31 March 2026
The Adventures of Hercules (1985) audio commentary - 709 Meridian - watch-along
11 October 2025
Hercules (1983) audio commentary - 709 Meridian - watch-along
16 September 2025
Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1986) audio commentary - 709 Merdiian - watch-along
2 September 2025

Briefly (1 June 2026)
Movies

The Awakening (2011) D: Nick Murphy. S: Rebecca Hall, Dominic West, Imelda Staunton, Isaac Hempstead Wright, Shaun Dooley. Classy enough melodrama about post-Great War ghost hunter Hall going to investigate a boys' school with a possible killer poltergeist on the roster. She meets various possible (human) suspects, such as fetching vet teacher West and creeper draft-dodger Mawle. The film's on a budget and impressive with the constraints; sadly, the script's finish leaves the actors flailing.

Burnt Offerings (1976) D: Dan Curtis. S: Karen Black, Oliver Reed, Burgess Meredith, Bette Davis, Dub Taylor. Badly directed, badly written, and atrociously photographed horror picture about how a creepy house affects summer tenants: mom Black, dad Reed, fun aunt Davis, and tween Montgomery. Davis brings almost all the life to it, and she's not around a lot. The rest of the performances disappoint to varying degrees, though the script and direction disable them. Boring, too.

The Changeling (1980) D: Peter Medak. S: George C. Scott, Trish Van Devere, Melvyn Douglas, Jean Marsh, Eric Christmas. Greiving Scott moves into a spooky old mansion where there seems to be a ghost similarly aged to his recently passed daughter. But then how does rich guy Douglas figure in? They tie it together surprisingly well, thanks to an eager Scott and strong direction from Medak. Excellent cinematography. The third act has some significant problems, but often impressive.

Flaming Gold (1932) D: Ralph Ince. S: William Boyd, Pat O'Brien, Mae Clarke, Stanley Blystone, Richard Alexander. Pal Boyd and O'Brien have their own oil well, which the big boys sabotage. Boyd has to go to New York City for help, where he meets working girl Clarke and falls for her. Except then O'Brien finds out her backstory; light drama ensues. Lots of oil drilling footage, along with surprisingly thoughtful character work. Great performance from Clarke.

The Haunting (1963) D: Robert Wise. S: Julie Harris, Claire Bloom, Richard Johnson, Russ Tamblyn, Lois Maxwell. Beautifully done haunted house picture about timid, put upon Harris branching out on her own only for it to be at professor Johnson's ghost investigation team. The film determinedly pushes through some of its awkwardness, with director Wise leveraging Harris's captivating, inward performance along with Davis Boulton's spectacular black and white photography. Excellent, albeit too cognizant of genre limitations.

Hush... Hush, Sweet Charlotte (1964) D: Robert Aldrich. S: Bette Davis, Olivia de Havilland, Joseph Cotten, Bruce Dern, Ellen Corby. Visually histrionic--while admirably not dramatically so--soft Southern Gothic about recluse Davis calling on semi-estranged cousin de Havilland for help saving the family home. Davis's a recluse because she killed a beau in the prologue and de Havilland's finding out the intervening years haven't been good for her mental health. Davis does great in an undeserving part.

In the Grey (2026) D: Guy Ritchie. S: Henry Cavill, Jake Gyllenhaal, Rosamund Pike, Eiza González, Fisher Stevens. Competent action set pieces, done on a budget, can't make up for the banal, exposition-heavy script--international asset-recovery lawyer González has good-guy mercenaries Cavill and Gyllenhaal working for her. No one cares enough to put any effort into their performances (save Stevens, the bad guy's lawyer). Director Ritchie's idea of male bonding is exhausted gay jokes.

J’Accuse (1919) D: Abel Gance. S: Romuald Joubé, Séverin-Mars, Maryse Dauvray, Maxime Desjardins, Angèle Guys. Breathtaking condemnation of the First World War centers around poet Joubé fooling around with married woman Dauvray, only to end up serving with her husband (Séverin-Mars). Through those complications, the film explores jingoism, (toxic) masculinity, and misogyny, and how they intersect. Beautiful work from writer, director, editor Gance. He takes some big third act swings, landing enough of them.

The Legend of Hell House (1973) D: John Hough. S: Pamela Franklin, Roddy McDowall, Clive Revill, Peter Bowles, Roland Culver. Tedious, poorly written haunted house movie (scripted by Richard Matheson, adapting his own novel) takes place in a world where hauntings are real but maybe the afterlife isn't. Academic Revill wants to show up mediums Franklin and McDowell. Hunnicutt's along as Revill's emotionally abused wife. Weird, creepy to ladies, and absent any scares; instead, bad acting, directing, writing choices.

Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971) D: John D. Hancock. S: Zohra Lampert, Barton Heyman, Kevin O'Connor, Gretchen Corbett, Mariclare Costello. Peculiar pastoral horror picture about city folks Lampert and Heyman moving out to the country to start apple farming. Pal O'Connor is along to help, gal Costello to vamp. Lampert's just out of a mental hospital and very worried she's not better. The title implies one gimmick, the film's actually got another, but doesn't embrace either. Only coincidentally imaginative.

The Orphanage (2007) D: J. A. Bayona. S: Belén Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Príncep, Geraldine Chaplin, Edgar Vivar. Thirty-ish years after leaving, Rueda returns to the ORPHANAGE where she grew up, bringing husband Cayo and son Príncep along. Her plan? Open a home for people to dump their developmentally disabled children. Don't worry, Rueda won't have any staff to assist her. Oh, and there are ghosts and haunted things. Rueda's compelling, while not really any good.

The Set-Up (1949) D: Robert Wise. S: Robert Ryan, Audrey Totter, George Tobias, Wallace Ford, Percy Helton. Exceptionally well-made drama about aging boxer Ryan not knowing he's supposed to take the fall in his next fight. Great real-time narrative, lots of excellent character work, outstanding direction from Wise, a breathtaking Ryan performance, a glass-jawed conclusion, which chickens out on struggling wife Trotter. Nice to see Edwards as always. Ryan does his own boxing.

The Sheep Detectives (2026) D: Kyle Balda. S: Hugh Jackman, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Emma Thompson, Bryan Cranston, Brett Goldstein. Very cute--with excellent CGI sheep--tale of a flock of sheep banding together to solve their shepherd's murder. The sheep can talk, with Louis-Dreyfus voicing the main character (even if the movie forgets she's the lead). It's funny, adorable, couple times smartly funny, with delightful performances all around. Barely matters the resolve's thin. Thompson's a particularly hoot.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) D: Justin K. Thompson. S: Shameik Moore, Hailee Steinfeld, Brian Tyree Henry, J.K. Simmons, Jack Quaid. Pitch perfect sequel explores the Spider-Man mythos through three "outsiders" (Moore, Steinfeld, and Isaac). Moore's got a minor foe (Schwartzman) leveling up with inter dimensional powers, reuniting him with Steinfeld, and running afoul of her boss (Isaac). Sensational CG animation, beautiful editing, pacing, and performances. They even manage to line up the exciting conclusion cliffhanger well. It's amazing.

The Vanishing (1988) D: George Sluizer. S: Bernard-Pierre Donnadieu, Gene Bervoets, Johanna ter Steege, Bernadette Le Saché, Pierre Forget. Pretty good thriller about ter Steege going missing and her boyfriend, Bervoets, trying to find her. Except then there's a jump ahead, and the film focuses on otherwise mundane villain Donnadieu. Director Sluizer isn't above dangling red herrings, but some fine filmmaking compensates. Even without a personality, Bervoets remains more interesting than rigorously examined Donnadieu, which causes significant imbalance.

Victor/Victoria (1982) D: Blake Edwards. S: Julie Andrews, James Garner, Robert Preston, Lesley Ann Warren, John Rhys-Davies. Cute comedy with musical numbers about down-on-her-luck Andrews impersonating a male female impersonator and becoming a nightclub hit. Preston's delightful as her co-conspirator, Garner's a gangster (which is unfortunately important) who falls for her--regardless of gender. There's some cool friendly to the gays stuff, but also ableism and misogyny. Warren's fantastic as Garner's moll.

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962) D: Robert Aldrich. S: Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Victor Buono, Anna Lee, Bert Freed. Former vaudeville child star Davis takes care of her sister, former Golden Age star Crawford, who everyone thinks Davis once ran down in a car, breaking her spine. They experience conflict. Davis gives a pointless tour de force, Crawford's also in it, Buono's hilarious. But it's beyond tedious; director Aldrich runs out of ideas in the first twenty minutes.

The Wicker Man (1973) The Final Cut D: Robin Hardy. S: Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland, Diane Cilento, Ingrid Pitt. Devoutly Christian police officer Woodward goes to a remote island to investigate a missing girl. There he finds hostile townsfolk, no missing child, general debauchery, flirtatious women, and island's owner Lee running a pagan cult. Some fantastic scenes, beautiful direction, and excellent performances from Lee and Woodward. Always disquieting. The second act gets long, but the finale's a corker.

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