The Stop Button
blogging by Andrew Wickliffe
Category: 1997
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Mothra 2: The Undersea Battle is incredibly disappointing. It should be glorious in its stupidity–Mothra at one point turns into a giant fish-moth. Or is it moth-fish? There’s an underwater city raised up. There’s a furry E.T. or Gizmo-type creature and it’s got magical piss. Mothra 2 should be entertaining at the very least and…
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I’m not going to defend Batman & Robin. It’s not so much a matter of the film being indefensible, it’s just a matter of it being a pointless exercise. And, by defend, I don’t mean identifying who gives the least embarrassing performance (Michael Gough) or who is just jaw-droppingly bad (Chris O’Donnell). Watching Batman &…
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Every moment, every line of dialogue, every shot–every use of sound–is so precise in The Spanish Prisoner, it’s sometimes hard to comprehend of Mamet put it all together. There are not a handful of precise moments, or a few precise scenes. Minute after minute, from the first shot, everything in the film is precision. But…
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Besides being generally awful, the most annoying thing about An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn is how it never fluctuates. Once the director–Arthur Hiller took his name off, amusingly not as a publicity stunt but because of writer Joe Eszterhas–and Eszterhas’s script establish the rather paltry quality of the plot and the jokes, it…
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Despite trying to appear dark and serious, Incognito is actually a rather light outing. Sure, protagonist Jason Patric is something of a jerk, but he’s a lovable jerk. And he’s usually in the right. Patric is an art forger who reluctantly sets about creating a new Rembrandt. He’s working some very annoying people, played by…
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Troops is an awesome "Cops" parody set in the Star Wars universe, specifically during the events of the original movie on Tatooine. The feel of short makes it work, with writer-director Rubio hitting all the right "Cops" moments while still making sure to fit the roles of the stormtroopers in the film. There's also some…
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I’m trying to imagine how Bean would play to someone unfamiliar with the television show. Depending on one’s tolerance for bland family comedy-dramas, it might actually play better. Because Bean, the movie, removes a lot of Bean, Rowan Atkinson’s character, and instead fills the time with Peter MacNicol and his problems. His job is on…
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Atrocious Showtime TVM adaptation of classic, Newbery winning kid’s novel by Ellen Raskin. Script’s so bad not even Ray Walston can make it happen. Terrible performances. Director Winkless’s approach seems to be doing it as a “Scooby Doo” episode more than anything else. It’s got zero redeeming qualities. DVD.Continue reading →
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Justice League of America is a strange mix of okay and terrible. What it does have going for it is sincerity. Sure, there’s a fair amount of incompetence thrown in and director Alcalá is awful and the script from Lorne Cameron and David Hoselton is bad… but there are actually some good things about it.…
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As unlikely as it might seem, The Man Who Knew Too Little could have been really good. Here’s the basic plot–an American rube, who loves movies and television so much he knows the lines, is confused for a dangerous psychopathic hitman involved in international intrigue while vacationing in the UK. All of his hitman lines,…
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Besides Mark Wahlberg, it’s hard to say where Traveller goes wrong. There are some problems with Jim McGlynn’s script, but they’re mostly little ones. Julianna Margulies’s character’s name isn’t repeated enough, leaving her as “Carol from ‘ER’” for a lot of the movie. And even Wahlberg improves somewhat. He’s utterly incapable of humility; sometimes it’s…
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Considering Peter Hyams’s career as a director began in the early seventies, it’s strange to see him reference Alien and the 1976 King Kong—these films being made after he got his start. The Relic has the one big problem of Hyams’s career overall—he photographs his films himself and he usually uses this “realistic” palette. That…
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Based on one of the edits, I’m assuming Mimic isn’t exactly a director’s cut (i.e. del Toro finished his cut, the Weinsteins took it and reedited it) as an approximation. He went back and did what he could to make it fit his intent. Maybe there are more examples—I haven’t seen the original cut—but the…
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From the first few minutes—after lengthy opening titles (if only one knew it’d be Mason Daring’s worst score ever)—it’s immediately clear something is terribly wrong with Cold Around the Heart. David Caruso and Kelly Lynch are awful in the opening scene, followed by a terrible cameo from Richard Kind. Except, during Kind’s atrocious appearance—where it…
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Even though The Lost World: Jurassic Park is pretty bad, it features some of Steven Spielberg’s more interesting work as a director. It’s a b genre picture, with a huge budget and Spielberg directing it. It even has a cute King Kong reference. It’s a singular film in Spielberg’s filmography—even when he does a terrible…
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Turbulence raises a good point—why bother trying to make a good serial killer thriller? Ray Liotta runs rampant throughout the film, having serving after serving of scenery. The script’s got a bunch of dialogue issues in the third act, but none of them bother Liotta, who’s operating at way too high an adrenaline level to…
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One Night Stand is such an emotionally exhausting film, one of the few moments of relief comes when Wesley Snipes, Ming-Na (as his wife), Nastassja Kinski (she and Snipes had a one night affair) and Kyle MacLachlan (as Kinski’s husband) go out to dinner together. It’s awkward in a far more comfortable way than the…
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The issue opens with Brereton’s finish for The Nocturnals. It’s charming and light, which is totally at odds with the visuals. I guess if I’d known more about it, I would have had an idea where it might go. Some great art. Metalfer does not get any better this issue—Manoukian and Roucher somehow make their…
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It’s another big issue of Presents and a decent one. Brereton’s The Nocturnals looks real nice and reads well. He introduces a bunch of characters, but the protagonist’s plot is compelling. It’s often very funny. Schutz has a one page thing (art by Mireault and Bottenberg); it’s okay, if not special. Hedden and McPhillips have…
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It’s a fantastic issue. Zero Boy and Pander’s Jack Zero finishes up here, with a mildly unpredictable ending. The sensitivity the two give to the story is amazing. They manage to be both revisionist and iconic in their approach to the Western genre. It’s one of Presents’s best stories. Brereton starts a Nocturnals story. The…
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It’s a strange issue. First is Seagle and Rouleau’s take on Predator, which might be the most harmless Predator story ever. Three boys camping out in one’s backyard go into the nearby swamp and see a Predator. Rouleau’s art is charming, the writing’s decent… still, it’s a Predator story. It can only be so good.…
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Imago‘s finish opens the issue. Arcudi might have needed more time–this installment just gives up, admitting the concept was more interesting than the execution. O’Connell’s art is okay. His faces aren’t distinct enough, but it’s fine for a short story. Nixey continues the issue’s lackluster vibe with Trout‘s conclusion. In it, Trout (the character) gets…
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I can’t believe I’m saying it but Snejbjerg’s art messes up this Lords of Misrule. He’s unable to draw a regular person. Instead, the person appears frightening, even though he’s not supposed to be frightening. It’s an okay story–but the art, though great in most respects, doesn’t work. Nixey’s back on track with Trout, at…
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The issue opens with Zero Boy and Pander’s Jack Zero, which starts out a little awkwardly… but then quickly establishes itself as a good Western. Pander’s art looks fantastic, bringing a lot of energy to the setting and Zero Boy’s script is thoughtful. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about Nixey’s Trout installment this issue.…
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The Gully story from Schultz and Williamson doesn’t have much of a script; with Williamson’s art, who cares about the writing? It’s some otherworldly sci-fi Western thing. Lovely to look at. White and Snejbjerg’s The Lords of Misrule is a little confusing, but decent. Snejbjerg does a great job with the tone and the art…
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I’m not sure what Nixey’s Trout is about or if it’s going to be about the events of this installment (in some fantasy land, an elf brings a living nightmare back from his sleep… or something along those lines). Since the writing’s so tied to the confusing plot, it’s mostly about Nixey’s art. He combines…
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I thought the other Monkeyman & O’Brien stories were bad. Here, Adams seems to forget how to draw with perspective and scale. It makes the story a hideous curiosity, but not much else. The script’s incomplete at best. Then Trypto finishes up and it’s probably be Leialoha’s best installment as an artist… and Mumy and…
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Okay, Dr. Spin and Trypto come around a little here. First, Rennie finally finds some kind of narrative for his characters (reassembling a disbanded team) to go along with all the comic book jokes. Though he does coin the title, “Infinite Crisis,” here. A shame he couldn’t sue DC. Langridge’s art is excellent, but the…
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I loathed Con Air back when I first saw it. I’ve only seen it that one time, opening night thirteen years ago. And many of my complaints at the time still hold true–Nicolas Cage is awful, John Cusack is awful (worse, his jokes fall flat), Simon West is a terrible director (but thirteen years later…
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A lot of Face/Off is okay. Nicolas Cage does a great job as the hero stuck with the villain’s face and makes it worth watching. The same can’t be said for John Travolta, who’s only a little better as the villain with the hero’s face than he was as the hero (the movie’s got a…
The Stop Button 