Moon Knight (2022) s01e04 – The Tomb

The Tomb opens with a surprisingly well-directed suspense sequence as May Calamawy tries to escape the bad guys. It’s even more surprising because Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are directing this episode, and they were terrible on the last one they did. Eventually, the direction becomes a lot more middling—eventually being about five minutes—but for a while, at least “Moon Knight”’s disappointing in one fewer quadrant.

And this episode might be the best. There aren’t any lousy fight sequences, mainly because Oscar Isaac no longer has F. Murray Abraham possessing him, so he can’t do costume stuff. The moments where Calamawy and Isaac moon at each other (no pun) are more effective than I was expecting, especially since Calamawy’s got the hots for hapless Isaac’s personality, even though she married badass Isaac. We get some backstory on their courtship and badass Isaac’s motivations for seeking her out. It’s pat, forced material, whereas hapless Isaac infatuated with his literal alter ego’s wife is at least quirky.

Albeit boring, because it’s still “Moon Knight,” after all.

The episode’s about Isaac and Calamawy getting to the—you guessed it–Tomb level in this video game of a television show. There are actually not a lot of video game action sequences, except the one where Calamawy’s got to hop across ledges. There’s actually a lot of great Egyptian tomb production detail. The NPCs in this episode are zombies? We don’t get to see them, but they’re zombie Egyptian priests set to turn anyone living into a mummy, except Ethan Hawke and his mercenaries. It’s unclear if Hawke knows about the zombies and why they don’t bother him and his gang.

Hawke’s got a great villain monologue. The performance anyway. The content’s not good at all and leads to a pointless (“Moon Knight”’s keyword) scene between Calamawy and Isaac. But at the very least, Hawke’s reliable. Is he enough to make “Moon Knight” worth watching? Heck, no. But he’s excellent.

However, the show finally figures out a way to connect with the audience. It just has to pretend it’s something it hasn’t been in four and a half episodes, shucking everything it’s done until now to do a Twelve Monkeys rip-off. Even if the episode didn’t end on two strong points, one because of Parent Trap-like twins’ banter, one because of a sight gag, the Twelve Monkeys stuff would be the best the show’s ever been.

When the best you’ve ever been is the least you’ve ever been like yourself….

Also, there’s a really brief sequence of F. Murray Abraham’s statue being put in the prison with the other Egyptian gods turned into statues, and there are a whole lot of them. The Marvel Cinematic Universe version of Ancient Egypt looks very packed. Maybe they can do a Thor crossover, after all.

At this point, I’m guessing the only actual MCU connection will come in the last episode’s end credits, some giant shoehorn.

The next episode should at least be more engaging than usual. Unless they don’t deliver on their promises, which seems more likely the more I think about it, so I’ll stop.

Moon Knight (2022) s01e02 – Summon the Suit

For what felt like an eternity–Summon the Suit is forty-five boring but not poorly paced minutes—it seemed like someone making “Moon Knight” was doing it as a satire. A satire would cover Oscar Isaac’s silly (but not bad) lead performance; it would cover F. Murray Abraham’s comically obnoxious Egyptian god ghost, who Isaac finds out is basically possessing him. Villain Ethan Hawke, who’s stunningly good, is playing the part like it’s a satire; maybe it just seems like if they were trying for it, they could keep up with Hawke.

They don’t, obviously, because it’s not a satire. Directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead aren’t thoughtful enough to even hint at it. Eventually, the script, credited to Michael Kastelein, clarifies we’re supposed to be taking it seriously.

Too bad.

This episode has Isaac finding out about his other personality. They talk to each other through mirrors. Isaac also meets his alter ego’s estranged wife, May Calamawy, who is not a girlfriend’s head in a refrigerator (yet). However, I still doubt she will have a conversation with another woman, much less pass Bechdel. Calamawy is okay. As an actress, she’s sympathetic because she’s got a terrible part. It doesn’t make her performance any better, but she’s not a glaring misfire like Abraham.

Seriously, they should’ve just gotten Tom Hardy to Venom voice him. It’d be funnier (and Abraham’s played for jokes anyway). The CGI on the Egyptian god ghost is also wanting. This episode has him talking to Isaac, and it looks underdeveloped. They needed another pitch.

So Isaac Prime is the hapless British museum employee who thinks he has a mom who loves him. Mirror Isaac is an American mercenary turned costumed adventurer. Very much not Egyptian Abraham can grant them superpowers and the neat suit. There’s an action scene with Moon Knight fighting a demonic jackal (and he’s the only one who can see it), and it basically looks like a white-suited Batman movie, which was always the point. Bully for them.

Unfortunately, outside the middling Moon Knight action sequence, Benson and Moorhead’s action direction is less exciting than watching someone else watch someone else play a video game. Hapless Isaac doesn’t get to do action, so he just watches Calamawy do it. And since the show really doesn’t care at all about Calamawy’s experience of events, it’s all dramatically inert.

The way they contrive her into the episode isn’t even sixteenth-assed.

There are also zero Marvel Cinematic Universe connections, with Hapless Isaac seemingly unaware of superheroes. When he talks about something being exciting, he says it’s like MI-6 or Area 51, not, you know, a Marvel Earth where a bunch of space aliens invaded and temporarily zapped half the population. Or maybe it’s set in the past. Who cares.

Hawke nearly makes the show worth watching, and Isaac does have some fine acting moments (often opposite Hawke, which helps things). But “Moon Knight” is an exceptionally pointless, entirely pedestrian vehicle.

The Equalizer (2021) s02e11 – Chinatown

The Leonard Matlin capsule review of 1987’s other Mannequin movie, Lady Beware, describes Diane Lane’s lead performance in the film as “uneven, but her rage is convincing.” That phrase has stuck with me for decades now. This episode of “The Equalizer” feels similar. It’s about general hate crimes against Asian-Americans escalating to murder, though the NYPD doesn’t take them any more seriously once someone dies. It hits close to home for Asian-American Liza Lapira. The episode brings in a guest sidekick for Queen Latifah (and Lapira) with Perry Yung, a Chinese ex-cop whose investigating since the cops won’t.

There’s also some material for Yung and current cop Tory Kittles, who have a solemn discussion about their white police “brethren” actually giving a shit about them. It’s probably Yung’s best scene, which unfortunately isn’t saying a lot. His performance is uneven, but his rage is convincing. Ditto Lapira. Both of them make some really ill-advised, really unconvincing decisions to move the plot along. Maybe if Yung mentioned he was a fan of one old man Clint Eastwood movie in particular, since he borrows the plot twist for this episode. Just be obvious about it.

The scenes between Lapira and Yung ought to be great; they are not. Uneven performances, convincing rage.

The episode gets a lot of mileage from the shitty white supremacist villains being so awful—not to mention their victim, sweet old lady bakery owner Jo Yang, being such a sweet old lady. Despite initiating the case for Team Equalizer, Latifah keeps getting called away because of returning guest star Imani Lewis. Latifah is semi-mentoring Lewis, who’s currently fretting over doing a “Scared Straight” presentation to a high school class.

The Lewis stuff ought to be great, but it’s an even lesser subplot than the unlikely family one for Laya DeLeon Hayes and Lorraine Toussaint. Toussaint wants to make an old family recipe and teach Hayes—it’s one of those all-day cooking recipes, and Toussaint needs help, only Hayes wants to hang out with her friends, which seems very out of character for Hayes. She’s rarely callous, especially so obviously so. But Toussaint doesn’t want Latifah to interfere because Hayes should want to help, not be forced to help.

It’s a nothing-burger, busy-work plot, but somehow the episode still manages to prioritize it over Lewis’s return appearance.

The episode’s still reasonably effective—the bad guys are very bad guys, and the good guys are incredibly sympathetic, but it’s all pretty rote. The occasionally strong character moments (like Yung and Kittles) are too muffled. I’m actually surprised to see Zoe Robyn with the script credit since her name’s been on more thoughtful episodes.

But while the main plot is lackluster, Hayes and Toussaint’s subplot is downright disappointing. And Lewis seems like an afterthought instead of a guest star.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s07e13 – Knocked Down, Knocked Up

I’ve been worried about “Legends of Tomorrow”’s renewal for a while now—though it’s not like The CW has renewed any of their shows, they’re just not renewing early this year—but if Knocked Down, Knocked Up ends up being the series finale… it’s a dreadful series finale.

As a season finale, it’s generally okay. It’s way too full, primarily because of how much time is spent introducing Donald Faison, who presumably will be back as regular (or at least a recurring guest star) in the potential next season. Faison’s the “fixer” at the fixed point where Matt Ryan has to go to save his potential boyfriend, Tom Forbes. Fixed points in time can’t be changed without apocalyptic consequences.

The episode ignores Forbes having no idea Ryan’s a time traveler or ready to throw caution to the wind and have a loving, gay relationship in 1915 or whenever. Presumably, that character development would happen next season.

Ditto the episode ignores Adam Tsekhman and Amy Louise Pemberton being reunited after Pemberton’s AI partner (also Pemberton, just voice) tried to kill him last episode.

The episode doesn’t even have enough time for the Forbes rescue mission, which has been Ryan’s entire purpose on the show. At least playing this character. There’s a rushed moment with Ryan realizing he’s been misremembering the battle (having suffered years of untreated PTSD); again, maybe they’ll get to it next season.

However, the episode nicely bookends the relationship between Pemberton, Olivia Swann, and Lisseth Chavez. They started the season together with Swann trying to magic a solution to their spaceship problems; they end the season with Swann trying to similarly magic a solution. Only evil AI Pemberton’s gotten wise and created herself an android body; there are a cute couple Terminator references. Well, at least one, but then also just the general vibe.

Caity Lotz gets a big arc for the episode—discovering even more repercussions to being half-alien now—and it gets the most immediate resolution. Since it’s such a dire mission—the last time they tried changing a fixed point, it was a disaster—Lotz decides to keep her news a secret from the team (and wife Jes Macallan in particular).

There’s also a farewell for a regular cast member, which comes off very convenient and somewhat underdone. It’s also potentially got huge ramifications for another cast member if the show gets renewed, anyway. Otherwise, everyone’s just left with the undercooked finish.

Other than Pemberton, Swann, and Chavez, Lotz probably gets the best episode. Tala Ashe and Shayan Sobhian get the worst. They’re accessories. Nick Zano, Tsekhman, and Ryan probably get second-best. Jes Macallan seems disinterested with the entire outing until halfway through. Maybe it’s director Kevin Mock’s fault for not keeping the energy up, or perhaps it’s just emphasizing introducing Faison at the expense of the regular cast.

Faison’s charming enough. It doesn’t matter if they don’t get renewed, though.

As many fingers crossed as humanly, alienly, and robotically possible, the show goes on, especially given the episode’s punting on all the character development.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s07e01 – The Bullet Blondes

So this season of “Legends” is kind of the Back to the Future III season? I mean, they’re not stuck in the Old West, but they’re stuck in the 1920s, and they’re becoming bank robbers, so the action set pieces are all somewhat familiar—not sure if targeting “Legends of Tomorrow” fans who also love Thieves Like Us is a broad enough demographic, but it works for me. And there’s also room for some excellent character development.

Plus, the two cliffhangers are absolutely fantastic and promise at least one spectacular timey-wimey knot to untangle. While the other one has all sorts of character potential. It’s a very good season setup from a somewhat low-key, artificially subdued beginning. The team is still in Texas, having shed both Matt Ryan and Dominic Purcell from the cast, and find themselves time travelers without a time machine. Worse, the locals noticed their giant battle against the space aliens and are asking questions.

Luckily, Jes Macallan comes up with a solution for the latter, but it only works as long as someone on the team doesn’t screw it up. So, of course, someone screws it up, putting Lisseth Chavez’s mom in danger. The mom, played by Alexandra Castillo, isn’t in the episode to start (they sent her away somewhere undefined so she’d miss the alien battle). When she gets back, she becomes den mother to Olivia Swann, who’s feeling lacking as the team’s magician. So Swann’s trying to impress, and it’s not a good idea to mess with magic.

Most of the character work is for Swann and Chavez, who aren’t the best actors on the show, but their friendship is the most genuine. Because everyone on “Legends” is now basically paired off—Macallan and Caity Lotz are now married and stranded in time, no honeymoon in sight; Shayan Sobhian is trying to be a good brother to Tala Ashe as she works through her breakup with Ryan. Then Nick Zano and Adam Tsekhman become the utility men, filling in whenever a scene needs a third. Zano’s got quite a bit to do—and gets one of the two big cliffhangers—but he doesn’t have any subplots brewing, just A-plot stuff.

Ditto Tsekhman, who mostly just punctuates punchlines.

Good direction from Kevin Mock and a decent script (James Eagan and Ray Utarnachitt get the credit).

The episode drags a little in the first fifteen minutes, but it sets up the season well. Plus, Castillo’s really good when doing the den mother stuff, and she elevates her costars, making the extraordinary reasonable.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s06e06 – Bishop’s Gambit

The episode opens with a great tracking shot of Matt Ryan walking around his British manor and seeing how the “needing a place to crash” Legends team is wrecking havoc. Who knew the (further) secret to making John Constantine click was to make him lovable? Unfortunately, it’s kind of the only impressive work director Kevin Mock does in the entire episode. It’s mostly fine direction, with some creativity as far as Jes Macallan playing a bunch of clones and then the alien world’s atmosphere being delightfully low budget and tech, but Mock can’t do two shots and the episode’s full of two shots. When Caity Lotz and season villain Raffi Barsoumian face off then do a banter thing with show tunes, the close-ups and one shots are great. The two shots—the necessary two shots—are not.

The story’s split between Lotz trying to escape from Barsoumian’s liar, not knowing Dominic Purcell has arrived to save her (he’s brought along alien-in-disguise Aliyah O'Brien for help but she’s not much help), and then the team trying to figure out what Jennifer Oleksiuk’s got to do with Lotz. Oleksiuk’s half-Amelia Earhart (literally), half-alien, and Lisseth Chavez seems to be able to communicate with the latter half, providing Chavez a subplot for most of the episode.

She’s still at best okay. Having her play a seemingly alt-right loner makes it hard to like her—though Shayan Sobhian tries to bond with her this episode and Sobhian’s so likable some of it rubs off for a good while—but it’s not the most compelling turn of events. Especially since there are some very convenient plot developments (enough it feels more like a bridging episode than anything else, which is appropriate enough six in) and the episode always seems primed for something more.

And then it turns out the more is a big cliffhanger. But not exactly a cliffhanger. It’s a reveal at the end of the episode as cliffhanger, not hard, not soft. Somewhere in between. I had expected the separate story arcs—Macallan and company staying with Ryan, Lotz and Barsoumian, Purcell and O’Brien—to get their own episodes (save on the special guest star money) but “Legends” seems to be throwing them together, which isn’t helping any of them.

It’s fine. It’s just a busy bridging episode. Some good acting from Ryan and Tala Ashe, some not good acting from O’Brien (seriously, the Arrowverse shows always manage to screw up at least one recurring guest star cast), some decent acting from Lotz, Sobhian, and Macallan (with asterisks on Macallan).

Olivia Swann’s around a very little bit after getting her own episode, learning magic, covering for Ryan. She’s got more to do than Nick Zano, who still needs to find a subplot this season.

Michael Hayes (1997) s01e19 – Power Play

The entire episode hinges on Allison Smith’s performance as a Patty Hearst-type who falls in with a post-Waco vengeance militia. Or at least if it were good it would. The performance. The episode’s not bad, with decent guest star turns from Byron Minns as a suspicious ATF agent, and then Linda Carlson and Frank Converse as Smith’s parents. But it’s nowhere near as good as it ought to be.

The episode spotlights Smith, time and again, even though she just draws attention to the flimsiness of the story. The real story kicks off after the episode’s over—given all the reveals on what’s been going on before the episode. David Caruso and Peter Outerbridge are trying one of the militia guys for murder only Smith shows up to say Minns is lying. They start investigating (Ruben Santiago-Hudson is around at this point in the episode… he’s going to disappear, hopefully to shoot a safety pilot for next season), bringing in Converse—a hard ass blue blood judge—and Carlson and giving Outerbridge a decent scene or two but then Minns arrests Smith and it becomes Single White Female all of a sudden. Smith starts stalking Caruso and so on.

The conclusion—or more like second half of the episode—has one of the militia members taking hostages in a federal building and Caruso trying to convince Smith to help de-escalate the situation. Hillary Danner’s around presumably because it was her week not to go off and shoot that safety pilot (in addition to Santiago-Hudson vanishing from the episode, Rebecca Rigg never appears). Though Jimmy Galeota does show up for a couple scenes to remind when Caruso had some kind of character development on the show. Some kind of character even.

Before the hostage situation, the episode has a mildly intriguing thing going—it’s doing Caruso investigating government conspiracies without it being the conspiracy mythology the show’s been trying to gin up and the corruption angle is engaging–but once the hostage thing takes over….

It all of a sudden matters whether episode director Vahan Moosekian is going to be able to make it thrilling (he’s not) or suspenseful (also no). And then to have it all be about Smith during that portion of the episode too… it just doesn’t work. It can’t. Bonnie Marks gets the script credit and the script’s at fault for many of the episode’s problems, including Smith’s character and its writing. But everyone else is able to make the writing work—Jodi Long finally gets more to do after being office scenery for most of the series (she hasn’t had anything to do until she had to tell Caruso not to be passively racist about ten episodes ago) and then ends up getting the shit end of the stick in a scene to showcase Converse’s privilege.

With a good lead guest star and a better plot, this episode could’ve been a slam dunk. Instead, it’s just not as bad as the new normal (yet still manages to remind the show’s a shambles of its potential).

All Rise (2019) s02e14 – Caught Up in Circles

Oh, “All Rise” isn’t anywhere near done with the season. For some reason I thought it was going fifteen. It’s going at least seventeen, which means there might be time for it to do something after the trial the cliffhanger sets up.

On the way to the cliffhanger is Simone Missick getting the most to do on the show since before she had her baby; this time she’s hearing a case against her idol, Black woman judge Charlayne Woodard, who does a great guest star turn.

Woodard is on trial for bribing an attorney—a too perfectly scummy Philip Casnoff—and is defending herself, leading to a lot of prickly situations with Missick even before Woodard decides she wants to make a statement in her own defense. It’s a nice way of doing socially distanced character drama without having to get the actors too close—Woodard from the defense table, Missick at the bench (at least until the testifying scene) and it’s easily the best the show’s been in a while. Not a long while, but a while. And it gives Missick something real to do.

The episode opens with Missick and Wilson Bethel getting to have an almost regular hangout scene, coming into work with their coffees before Ruthie Ann Miles herds Bethel out. He’s waiting to hear who’s going to be hearing his case against the sheriff’s department, which the episode drags out into an episode-long subplot just so they can have a cliffhanger. Bethel’s also got some melodrama with girlfriend Lindsey Gort, whose hidden husband subplot finally comes to light (and completely and utterly fizzles while managing to make Bethel seem like a shit).

The B plot has J. Alex Brinson worrying about how he’s hiding he committed a felony and it might all come to light in the immediate future and trying to decide if he thinks white supremacist murderer Douglas Bennett should get out on parole. Boss Reggie Lee is trying to test Black man Brinson’s dedication to restorative justice or something. It’s a decent arc for Brinson—allowing for a few cute professional conversations with Jessica Camacho, who’s otherwise got nothing to do this episode—but it doesn’t play as well as it would if the sword of Damocles weren’t hanging over him, overarching plot-wise.

Then there’s a little bit with Marg Helgenberger and Lindsay Mendez bickering about Helgenberger’s child abusing friend, which is well-intentioned but a little too thin after all the hubbub.

But Woodard’s a great guest and the trial is maybe the most TV legal interesting the show’s been in ages.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s06e01 – Ground Control to Sara Lance

Last season ended with aliens abducting Caity Lotz after they’d resolved the season plot line; this season premiere has Jes Macallan and Dominic Purcell trying to piece together what happened the next morning. It requires them tracking down the various members of the team, who are also somewhat missing. It provides a nice introduction subplot, reminding of the various developments, like Tala Ashe and Matt Ryan having a romance while Nick Zano mourns the loss of his version of Ashe (from two seasons ago). They’re in 1977 England, so Zano’s pouring his heart out to David Bowie (Thomas Nicholson in an adequate one scene) and it turns out Nicholson knows where Lotz has gone.

Into space.

So while the team on Earth is trying to figure out how to track her down, Lotz is breaking free of her cell on the space ship and teaming up with Spartacus (Shawn Roberts) to figure out what’s going on. The solution’s going to involve a very big reveal with some potentially ret-conning details.

There’s some solid humorous action for Lotz—she and Roberts have differing opinions on when and why to confront the aliens—while back on Earth, everyone’s pulling together various ideas in order to track her down. There’s a very matter of fact magic and sci-fi crossover, with Ryan having to do a kind of seance with alien abductee (then returnee) Lisseth Chavez, who seems like she might be joining the regular cast.

The episode’s got a fairly strong pace, with Ryan, Ashe, and Olivia Swann getting the bigger character subplots—outside Macallan, who’s simultaneously worried about girlfriend Lotz being interstellar and having to manage the team to get her back. Zano, Purcell, and Shayan Sobhian are all support. Though Purcell and Sobhian break off to look for Chavez, who’ll end up running their arc.

The end cliffhanger sets up the season, giving everyone some new problems whether they know it or not; there’s also a very big, very cute Die Hard homage in the script (James Eagan and Mark Bruner get the writing credit this episode).

It’s “Legends.” The show’s got a solid foundation to launch from at this point, especially when there’s nothing particularly concerning. Well, giant character reveals, but at least it provides a good team-up. There’s nothing concerning in the episode, nothing worrisome. It seems like they’ve still got a good handle on the show.

(Well, okay, hopefully Zano gets something to do because he seems real bored already).

The Equalizer (2021) s01e07 – Hunting Grounds

The episode opens with district attorney Jennifer Ferrin deciding she’s going to go after vigilante Queen Latifah because it’ll make a good “law and order” story for the media. Yep, Karen Ferrin (it even rhymes) will be going after Black woman Latifah who helps the BIPOC people the NYPD at best ignores, at worst murders. But as “The Equalizer” continues to exist in an alternate universe where Rona never happened, I guess they can try to get away with it.

The Ferrin subplot only pops up again at the end, when she tracks down Latifah’s erstwhile partner, NYPD detective Tory Kittles. We’re back to splitting “Equalizer” between Kittles episodes and Chris Noth episodes apparently; no Noth this episode.

Instead, it’s Latifah and Kittles trying to track down a serial killer whose latest victim starts the episode with forty-eight hours to live. Kittles doesn’t like Latifah’s methods, while Latifah’s more interested in Kittles’s parenting techniques (are his two sons a retcon) than his professional abilities. He’s a partially useful body to have around, otherwise Latifah can do it all on her own.

Including hack into the NYPD’s interrogation room cameras—thanks to tech guy Adam Goldberg and his sniper wife, Liza Lapira. “Equalizer” has finally figured out how much Goldberg and Lapira the show needs and it’s not a lot. There’s not even big, profoundly inaccurate tech exposition from Goldberg. He’s closer to being a welcome cast member than ever. And Lapira’s fine.

Meanwhile, Latifah’s aunt Lorraine Toussaint is starting to date online. Latifah’s not thrilled about it or daughter Laya DeLeon Hayes helping her figure it out. It’s a solid subplot though, just because Toussaint and Hayes are so fun together.

The serial killer pursuit—the NYPD missed the ten victim plus serial killer streak because they were all Black women—is all right, though the resolution leaves a lot to be desired. Along with the eventual serial killer, whose performance similarly leaves a lot to be desired.

Kittles and Latifah continue to be good together (regardless of him being superfluous), but his cop storylines are still pretty bland stuff. There’s only so many times it can turn out no one listened to him because he’s the only Black guy and for him to turn out to be right, only for him to turn around and defend the system.