• Michael Hayes (1997) s01e03 – True Blue

    So, given the episode uses footage from the pilot—the pilot, not the “Prequel” episode they made after they brought on Paul Haggis to save the show, but the original, Haggis-less pilot—to kill off Dina Meyer, who was in stable condition after being shot last episode… it makes sense she’d be less than interested in coming back in that pilot do-over. Even though it turns out she and David Caruso were dating long enough for him to be her sole beneficiary on her life insurance—also, holy crap, it’s a Robert Musgrave cameo because someone on “Michael Hayes” loved Bottle Rocket, or so I’m telling myself.

    Caruso spends the episode sad about Meyer’s death and talking around it with various cast members because he’s a soulful white man but he’s a man and he’s just going to stare off into space and then leave the room whenever anyone asks if he’s feeling okay. Caruso’s really good at it. He’s excellent the entire episode—a nice change from last time—even during expository dumps (so long as you can embrace the righteous white male savior) and the rest of the cast does a good job keeping pace. Except Ruben Santiago-Hudson, whose single expression is really getting in the way of his performance. Santiago-Hudson gets looped even when he really shouldn’t, like when wife Tembi Locke explains he can’t turn in dirty cop Julio Oscar Mechoso because Mechoso’s got a wife and three kids (just like they do).

    We’ve already heard from the New York District Attorney Stanley Anderson (sadly not a visible Rudy analog) you can’t go after dirty cops because then all of the cases they perjured themselves in will get overturned and an occasional criminal will go free with all the people they framed and then what’ll you do; the episode does an excellent job laying out the nonsense excuses for police corruption, which is just the cops just robbing people—including stores—not murdering or raping anyone because even “liberal” Hollywood didn’t realize how it was always the worst.

    The episode’s about Caruso having to take down a dirty precinct because D.A. Anderson too chummy with assistant police commissioner Dan Lauria to do anything about police corruption. While Lauria’s a fine cameo, the episode neglects to acknowledge they killed off the actual police commissioner last episode, who was also entirely corrupt so maybe the problem doesn’t start at the bottom. Former cop now U.S. Attorney investigator Santiago-Hudson goes to pal Mechoso for help, only to soon find out Mechoso’s not being truthful about his lack of involvement. Meanwhile, Caruso’s got to break the case while mourning for Meyer and dealing with his family troubles. Recently released ex-con brother David Cubitt still hasn’t gone to see wife Mary B. Ward or son Jimmy Galeota; Ward shows up at Caruso’s doorstep, expecting Cubitt to be there too (Cubitt’s crashing at Caruso’s apartment, which is far less ginormous than in the pilot episode). Only Cubitt’s not so she and Caruso hang out, going from water to wine to ginger ale.

    Ward’s good this episode. She’s been shaky before and the character’s not great (Caruso’s back to telling her to take Cubitt back, after telling her to dump him in the pilot, but telling her to take him back in the pre-pilot, clearly Haggis is Team Take Back), but she and Caruso’s scenes are very well-acted, very well-timed. And episode director Fred Gerber gets how to shoot the actors to emphasize their performances, especially Caruso, who’s very restrained chewy. Chew the scenery with your mouth closed, David. It works out quite well and this episode’s easily the series best.

    Not to say they should’ve made it the pilot but… who knows. Maybe.

    Mechoso’s only okay as the cop. He ought to be better. But he does try. It doesn’t help Santiago-Hudson’s so flat in their scenes together.

    Rebecca Rigg shows up for a scene to make jokes about sex workers with other female lawyer Hillary Danner—I’d forgotten nineties male-written feminism—she’s good in the scene but disappears once they decide the best way to crack the cast is toxic masculinity. Danner gets to do all of the legal work in the episode, spending all of it sitting in a conference room by herself. Not the best use of the only two workplace female regular (sorry, special guest stars because SAG chicanery), especially since Jodi Long gets a bunch of good material. She’s Caruso’s new assistant; she came with the promotion and quickly tires of his anti-blue blood decorating complaints.

    There’s a very peculiar postscript bookend with the Meyer storyline—oh, that reused footage doesn’t have her talking so they don’t even credit her (because then they’d have to pay her)—giving the episode a nice, odd close, and some impromptu character development for Caruso.

    It’s a little bumpy, but it’s a solid episode with some outstanding acting from Caruso.


  • Frasier (1993) s04e06 – Mixed Doubles

    It’s another great episode for David Hyde Pierce. He shares the spotlight, but with Jane Leeves and the guest stars, with Kelsey Grammer and John Mahoney supporting the A plot. Their B plot involves staring contests with Eddie the dog. The A plot’s where it’s at.

    Christopher Lloyd’s the credited writer and outside his easy jokes about Roz (Peri Gilpin) being promiscuous—the one about Dr. Roz and the Gabor method after Gilpin tells Leeves, who’s just been through a breakup, not to miss a man who doesn’t buy jewelry or perform well in the sack, is technically easy but also inventive—Lloyd writes an outstanding script. Great direction from Jeff Melman too. Melman toggles from sitcom laughs to sincerity quite well, though Hyde Pierce and Leeves do all the hard work. And there are still laughs, just different ones.

    The episode opens with Leeves coming home after being dumped and Grammer, Mahoney, and Hyde Pierce all trying to comfort her. In that order because Grammer and Mahoney don’t want to let Hyde Pierce get too hands on while hugging her. Eventually Gilpin shows up because it’s a sitcom and she and Leeves go and commiserate properly.

    Leeves’s new single status inspires Hyde Pierce—still indefinitely separated from Maris—to tell her how he feels, only to have Grammer strongly caution him. Give it a day to think about it, Grammer tells him, which becomes a familiar suggestion even after Hyde Pierce and Grammer find out—the next night—Leeves has found a new fellow. She and Gilpin went to a singles bar.

    Upset with Grammer, Hyde Pierce calls Gilpin and asks her to take him to the same bar—turns out Gilpin’s an always successful wing-woman at this place. There, Hyde Pierce meets Allison Mackie and the two hit it off.

    Fast forward three dates and Hyde Pierce is introducing Mackie to Grammer and Mahoney. Leeves brings home her new beau—Kevin Farrell—who turns out to be a clone of Hyde Pierce, leading to some great laughs for Grammer and Mahoney, then Hyde Pierce once he sees the resemblances.

    There are a lot of good Grammer and Hyde Pierce bicker banter laughs before the twist and resolve, with the resolve being where Melman and Lloyd get to showoff their dramatic chops, all thanks to Hyde Pierce and Leeves’s excellent performances.

    It’s a great spotlight for Hyde Pierce and showcase for the cast and show in general. Another exemplar “Frasier.”

    Also—it’s awesome to see he and Gilpin get some additional time together. Even when they do have occasion to interact, it always seems hurried, this episode they get to take their time.


  • Frasier (1993) s04e05 – Head Game

    The last time David Hyde Pierce got to run an episode, he shared it with Jane Leeves; this time, after Kelsey Grammer heads off to a conference leaving Hyde Pierce guest-hosting the radio show for a week, it’s all Hyde Pierce. I missed the director credit—but did happily catch the Rob Greenberg writing one, so I had high expectations—it’s David Lee, not Grammer (like last time—Moon Dance is very memorable).

    The A plot kicks off after Hyde Pierce’s first show. We get to see only one of the calls, which has a great punchline, plus Peri Gilpin is messing with Hyde Pierce a little. Hyde Pierce gives an impromptu therapy session to basketball player Lorenzo Newton, who’s in a slump. Newton’s guesting on Dan Butler’s sports show—there’s a lot of good interplay between Hyde Pierce and the radio cast, it’s just not going to be the emphasis.

    When Hyde Pierce gets to the apartment to tell John Mahoney about meeting the basketball player, it’s just as Newton’s about to thank Hyde Pierce on TV for the head-shrinking. Finally Mahoney gets to be proud of Hyde Pierce.

    The rest of the episode has the fallout from Newton’s renewed success and Hyde Pierce’s reactions to it all. There’s a wonderful bit where Hyde Pierce, Mahoney, and Leeves get to watch a game court side and Leeves has to translate all the basketball verbiage into something Hyde Pierce can understand. There’s some good stuff with Hyde Pierce getting to be more macho—in the nineties, sports bro culture, so he’s piggish—and then great character development and dramatics for Hyde Pierce and Mahoney.

    It was all supposed to be Grammer, who had to take some time off so they reworked it into a Hyde Pierce spotlight, and it shows just how well Hyde Pierce can do in the lead. “Niles” clearly would’ve worked; Hyde Pierce is just so good.

    Great punchline in the end credits, outstanding performances from Hyde Pierce and Mahoney. It’s an outlier “Frasier”—an unintentional back-door proof of concept pilot—and a great one.


  • The Equalizer (2021) s01e04 – It Takes a Village

    Did they save up their Chris Noth for this episode? He actually does something with the plot. Nothing with the non-Queen Latifah cast, but they get him in a lengthy action set piece involving the episode villain (Scott Cohen). Noth and Latifah crashing actually evil philanthropist Cohen’s formal ball isn’t as good as it could be—there’s no tango or even ballroom scene—but they actually get to have fun together as opposed to doing exposition dumps while on a New York location walk and talk.

    Here’s the plot of the episode, told in RoboCop. Cohen is actually Dick Jones, trying to get gangster Clarence Boddicker (Jayson Wesley) to get the residents out of Old Detroit except there’s a certain Black community activist (Marcus Callender), who needs to be gotten got. Sadly there are no ED-209s, but there is a scene where Latifah crashes Wesley and crew beating in a new gang member and she gets to terrify them thanks to CIA prepping.

    Oh, and Cohen’s a CIA asset. American billionaires who fund terrorists as CIA assets on CBS. How far we’ve come. Or not, actually.

    The minimal B plot is about Latifah’s daughter, Laya DeLeon Hayes, getting mad about a pothole screwing up her driving lesson and becoming an online road maintenance activist. They seem to have realized she’s a little bit too annoying and to give her some humility; sadly no one accuses her of being fake woke about potholes like she accused a former friend of being fake woke about police violence last episode. Lorraine Toussaint gets a little to do in the subplot, probably more than Hayes because Toussaint gets to have conversations with both Latifah and Hayes while Latifah and Hayes just exchange angry one-liners.

    Then there’s detective Tory Kittles, who’s seemingly given up pursuing Latifah as a vigilante and is instead her police department insider. Speaking of police department insiders and being fake woke about potholes… there’s a super gross scene where Adam Goldberg and Liza Lapira (fourth episode of the show, fourth different characterization of the obnoxious, charmless couple) cheer the cops arresting someone. It’s a bad guy, but the way they do the cheering… let’s just say a Blue Lives Matter sticker on Goldberg’s computer is only unlikely because the set decoration isn’t good enough. It’d certainly be appropriate.

    Goldberg and Lapira are getting real tiresome. Cohen’s blah in the Dick Jones part. Zach Appelman’s fine as his son, who’s basically Bob Morton (no spoilers, just basically Bob Morton). Wesley’s fine. It’s a crap part.

    But then there’s Robert G. McKay, who isn’t good and really needs to be good. He’s got one of the biggest supporting roles and while it’s also not a great part, there’s potential to it; instead McKay gets worse as the role gets more difficult. His scenes become a chore, whereas the rest of the episode at least doesn’t feel like one.

    “The Equalizer” seems to be evening itself out… and turning out to be a lot blander and safer than originally implied.


  • Michael Hayes (1997) s01e02

    It makes sense they did another episode to run as the first episode instead of this pilot. What doesn’t make sense is CBS green-lighting the series based on this pilot episode. It’s also interesting to see who they got to come back for the previous episode after they clearly didn’t work out in the pilot; Sam Coppola as star David Caruso’s cop mentor has a surprise twist here, so maybe it was good to bring him in before… but they really could’ve used Dina Meyer. She’s an investigator at the U.S. Attorney’s office and has been dating Caruso for long enough other investigator Ruben Santiago-Hudson teases him about it them talking flirty over the radio, but apparently she was out of town two weeks before in the first episode.

    I wasn’t sure what I was expecting from the pilot—I’d forgotten the hook of the show is former cop Caruso becomes acting U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York and not just former cop Caruso becomes a deputy U.S. Attorney or whatever—but they really try to cram it all in here. The episode opens with a mob hit (so did the previous episode, sort of) and then we get Caruso meeting with dead guy’s attorney Donna Murphy, Meyer, and Philip Baker Hall. Hall takes Murphy’s car, which goes boom—leading to Caruso saving Hall from the burning car while a line of cops stand around and do nothing (again, it’s pre-9/11). Eventually Caruso gets the job, which would presumably cause some problems for Meyer, who doesn’t sleep with bosses. If only they can think of a way to exit her from the show while being low-key misogynist about it.

    Caruso’s not initially on Murphy’s case because he’s busy getting Joe Grifasi in trouble. The episode’s got a handful of solid character actor guest stars—Murphy, Grifasi, Josef Sommer—and it’s scary to think how the show would play if it weren’t them. Tom Amandes is on as another deputy U.S. Attorney whose job it is to tell Caruso he’s going too far with the working class hero takes on the blue bloods stuff (Peter Outerbridge has a filler scene, presumably shot after they decided they needed him—or Amandes found steadier work). None of the previously mentioned guest stars appear on the IMDb page, apparently because none of their agents think anyone would care they were once on “Michael Hayes.”

    Anyway.

    Wouldn’t you know Grifasi’s case is going to end up having to do with Murphy’s case, but then it’s going to turn out there’s an even simpler explanation to it all so they can do a bad sirens-on cop car sequence and giving Caruso—at the time the acting U.S. Attorney—a burner handgun so he can be macho.

    Along the way we get some more with Caruso’s family problems—nephew Jimmy Galeota needs recently released ex-con dad David Cubitt (credited as a guest star, which makes you wonder what’s going to happen to him in the series) to pay him some attention while the relationship between Caruso and suffering sister-in-law Mary B. Ward is different than in the previous episode. Especially since last time Caruso was trying to convince her to take Cubitt, hashtag family values, while this time he’s telling her to stay away from his deadbeat brother.

    John Romano’s teleplay is fairly bad—the show has Romano and Nicholas Pileggi as creators but Pileggi doesn’t have a writing credit, just a story one, which is telling. Thomas Carter’s direction is fairly good for a nineties TV show (it’s interesting to be able to compare to the previous but subsequent episode just for Carter’s ability to compose for 4:3).

    Maybe ten percent of Caruso’s performance is good and better. Most of it’s middling. Some of it’s “CSI: Miami.” All of the bad is Romano’s fault. He writes rather trite dialogue. The most important performance ends up being Mary Lou Rosato as Coppola’s wife and she doesn’t even get a credit in the opening titles.

    Grifasi’s the biggest disappointment; not even he can accomplish Romano’s script. He’s only in it for a scene and doesn’t have the weird baked-in misogyny Murphy ends up with. She’s fine, just wasted. I was hoping for more obviously because what kind of shit stain wastes Donna Murphy.

    I have no idea what to expect from “Michael Hayes” going forward, which must’ve done wonders for it back during original airings when you had a whole week to decide if you wanted to come back.