Movies
Apostle (2018) D: Gareth Evans. S: Dan Stevens, Michael Sheen, Lucy Boynton, Mark Lewis Jones, Kristine Froseth. Early twentieth-century lapsed, traumatized British missionary Stevens goes to save his sister from cultists on their island. The pro-colonialist, low-key Church of England propaganda is icky but more interesting than the plot for the first hour. The second is then pseudo-gore and terrible acting from Lewis Jones. Stevens’s bad. Bad writing, directing. Somehow, Sheen perseveres.
Ballistic (2026) D: Chad Faust. S: Lena Headey, Hamza Haq, Amybeth McNulty, Enrico Colantoni, Amanda Brugel. Headey’s great as a red state mom who finds out a bullet she made killed her son in Afghanistan. Will she seek help from grief counselor Haq, support struggling pregnant daughter-in-law McNulty, or go all Charles Bronson until she finds the person most responsible? Decent direction, solid low-budget production, but way too thin, especially the characters.
A Countess from Hong Kong (1967) D: Charlie Chaplin. S: Marlon Brando, Sophia Loren, Sydney Chaplin, Geraldine Chaplin, Charlie Chaplin. World’s second richest man Brando happens across Russian White émigré Loren in HONG KONG, then she stows away in his cabin heading back to the U.S. Pretty good, peculiar mix of slapstick (Brando doesn’t get it, Loren’s great), broody romance (Brando gets it), class commentary (nouveau riche and royalty), and whatever director Chaplin thinks his music is doing.
Enola Holmes 3 (2026) D: Philip Barantini. S: Millie Bobby Brown, Henry Cavill, Helena Bonham Carter, Louis Partridge, Jason Watkins. Cute enough threequel has Brown missing her wedding (to Partridge) because brother Cavill has been kidnapped. They’re having a destination wedding in Malta, so gorgeous scenery about, and the plot does indeed deal with the crimes against humanity known as British colonialism. Everyone has a good time, despite Partridge’s limiting, pouty-boy part. Way too much flashback footage, too.
Holy Cow (2024) D: Louise Courvoisier. S: Clément Faveau, Maïwène Barthélémy, Luna Garret, Armand Sancey Richard, Charlie Courvoisier. Charming, beautifully shot coming-of-age story about eighteen-year-old drunkard f**k boy screw-up Faveau becoming kid sister Garret’s guardian with no means to support them. Once he realizes there’s money in cheese, however, he decides to win a big contest, and they’ll be set. Good performances, good script; a very thoughtful, deliberate little character study.
The Ritual (2017) D: David Bruckner. S: Rafe Spall, Arsher Ali, Robert James-Collier, Matthew Needham, Maria Erwolter. Four aging British bros are on their annual boys trip–this one a sad memorial hike–and end up in an ancient, desolate Swedish forest, which is seemingly haunted by some sort of large monster. Bigger than bear. Oddly, good production design and production value. Bad direction, bad script, awful performance from lead Spall, but a couple good ideas.
The Secret Life of Pets (2016) D: Chris Renaud. S: Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Ellie Kemper, Tara Strong. Great CGI animation, character design, and often accurate jokes about pets and pet owners carry PETS. The after school special about two rivaling dogs (new roommates) is nowhere near as compelling as the Pomeranian (a great Slate) who later has to recuse them. Not even Hart’s tiring megalomaniac adorable bunny rabbit, which is also better than the a-plot.
The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) D: Chris Renaud. S: Patton Oswalt, Kevin Hart, Eric Stonestreet, Harrison Ford, Ellie Kemper. Unimaginative sequel stretches a sitcom’s worth of plot to (almost) ninety minutes. In a recast, Oswalt’s protagonist becomes a neurotic who mans up because he gets to hang out with Harrison Ford. Cool. Good CGI, though whoever thought of putting Hart’s annoying but objectively adorable bunny rabbit in a superhero costume should’ve done better. Disappointing Alexandre Desplat score, too.
Two Smart People (1946) D: Jules Dassin. S: Lucille Ball, John Hodiak, Lloyd Nolan, Vladimir Sokoloff, Elisha Cook Jr.. Successful but on-the-run con man Hodiak is just about caught when he meets the perfect girl, successful but on-the-run con woman Ball. He’s got the perfect plan–even with buddy cop Nolan as chaperone–but there’s no room for a dame. Larceny, love, cookery, and Cook ensue. Hoidak’s bland, Ball’s appealing, Nolan’s great. Terminally didactic.
Witchfinder General (1968) D: Michael Reeves. S: Vincent Price, Ian Ogilvy, Robert Russell, Rupert Davies, Nicky Henson. (Unfortunately) fictionalized recounting of real-life WITCHFINDER Matthew Hopkins’s downfall. Price is supremely evil as Hopkins, aided by fellow creep Russell, who runs afoul of soldier Ogilvy and his beloved, Dwyer. Excellent, frustrating tension as Price uses the law to terrorize and worse. Good direction, lovely John Coquillon photography, solid performances (albeit in thinly written parts), lackluster exploitation finish.
Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942) D: Michael Curtiz. S: James Cagney, Joan Leslie, Walter Huston, George Tobias, Chester Clute. Biopic of American “song and dance” man George M. Cohan gives Cagney a sometimes fantastic, energetic part with some showy numbers. The film starts in vaudeville and culminates in a Broadway comeback. There’s never any character development, however; Cagney’s (dynamically and literally) spinning his wheels. Overall, it’s comfortable being jingoistic pablum until the finale gives up any creative pretenses.