T2 3-D: Battle Across Time (1996, John Bruno, James Cameron and Stan Winston)

Given his rather infamous history of personal problems, one’s got to wonder what having to humiliate himself by acting like a twelve year-old-when nineteen-did for Edward Furlong in T2 3-D: Battle Across Time. Especially since the short accompanied a theme park attraction, undoubtedly seen by more people than saw most of Furlong’s films at the time.

Furlong does not pull it off. He and Arnold Schwarzenegger reunite to do a greatest hits reel of Terminator 2, complete with familiar lines and action beats, motorcycling around a future wasteland.

Schwarzenegger hands himself admirably; he even has a few good one liners, which is shocking since the writing is so bad. Except on the introductory evil corporation commercial. It’s hilarious.

James Cameron loved this project, turning his most successful franchise at the time into buffoonery.

Seeing it “live” might help 3-D but I kind of doubt it.

One Comment

  1. Matthew Hurwitz

    I actually saw it at Universal Studios as a kid, and yeah, it’s really meant not to be seen without first waiting in line at “Cyberdyne,” then having smoke and rain machines blow on you, and seeing drama majors dressed as Arnie and Eddie running down the aisles on cue. Not to mention the 3D. Even with all the shortcomings (it’s a theme park show, c’mon) it was still a lot more like what I wanted in “Terminator 3” than what we ended up getting, over 5 years later.