Loom (2012, Luke Scott)

And the award for feckless pretentiousness goes to… drum roll please… Luke Scott for Loom. Yay!

Loom‘s actually not bad for most of its twenty minute runtime. The first half is about thirty times better than the second, but whatever. Both have Giovanni Ribisi and he’s great, even if the script does fail him the second half.

After Scott “borrows” design and story detail ideas from, in no order, Twelve Monkeys, Gattaca and Hardware, he finishes with some kind of strange giant clone lady–poorly played by Jelly Howie–who Ribisi’s apparently growing in his apartment.

It’s unclear if Scott cast Howie because of her height, her acting ability or her willingness to do pointless nudity.

There are actually good female performances in the film–Jae Jung and Erica Piccininni are both excellent in their scenes–so Scott’s must just like bad lead female performances.

Ribisi’s the whole show.

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