Frasier (1993) s01e07 – Call Me Irresponsible

It’s a Kelsey Grammar-centric episode—it’s about Frasier’s first girlfriend since the divorce, though they’re never too specific about it (just Frasier still thinks women don’t have to pay on dates). Only he manages to screw it all up, even when he finds out the girlfriend (Amanda Donohue with such a good American accent I didn’t think it was Amanda Donohue despite looking exactly like Amanda Donohue) doesn’t have a problem with what’s bothering him.

So, the episode opens with one dropped celebrity caller (Eddie Van Halen) then another (Bruno Kirby) getting a lengthy (for “Frasier”) phone session. Kirby’s girlfriend is pushing him to commit but Kirby’s just hanging on to her as a placeholder, assuming something better will turn up. Grammer–in what is also the show’s first layered cold open punchline (Chuck Ranberg and Anne Flett-Giordano writing)—tells Kirby to be honest and break up. Fast forward a day—after a hilarious Christmas card picture-taking scene at the apartment, two months early—and the now ex-girlfriend, Donohue, is at the studio to confront Grammer. Turns out Kirby wasn’t entirely truthful about what Grammer told him to do so Grammer explains it all.

One thing leads to another and Grammer and Donohue get hot and heavy very quickly; David Hyde Pierce disapproves—what about Grammer’s ethics as a psychiatrist. There’s this great caller vs. patient conversation where the show says more about talk radio than it ever has before but Grammer’s able to convince Hyde Pierce it’s fine.

Until Kirby calls back and says he wants to get back together with Donohue. Grammer counsels him against it, to Peri Gilpin’s horrified face behind the glass and Hyde Pierce making similar expressions in his car as he listens. Great matching reactions from Gilpin and Hyde Pierce, one wonders if James Burrows tried to make the expressions close or if everyone just had the perfect horrified by Grammer faces.

Turns out Hyde Pierce doesn’t have to worry too much about it because the Crane boys both have comprised morale tells—Hyde Pierce’s nose bleeds and Grammer pukes. So can Frasier get through the big “at his apartment” date night without disaster?

I mean, no, obviously not, it’s a sitcom. So it’s just got to be an amusing disaster. It succeeds, thanks to Grammer being very good as the lead. The show’s got excellent, showy (and showy excellent) supporting players but it’s not like Grammer’s a slouch. He’s got to shift between sitcom slapstick and sitcom screwball and does it very well.

There’s also a great final punchline between Grammer and Eddie the dog, then the end credits are the adorable Christmas card photo outtakes.

It’s nice to see the show can hit a high above average even when it’s not stretching itself.

Frasier (1993) s01e06 – The Crucible

This episode brings Peri Gilpin to Kelsey Grammer’s apartment for the first time. It’s not because of what happens with Gilpin there but what doesn’t. During the course of the episode, she meets Grammer’s dad, John Mahoney, but not onscreen. She comes up in conversation later when Mahoney suggests to Grammer he should ask her out. She also has a scene with David Hyde Pierce where they do the “Niles can’t remember Roz” scene again but Hyde Pierce is too busy fawning over Jane Leeves to notice. It’s almost like the writers have a note to include Gilpin but can’t fit her in.

It’s a single plot episode, with writers Sy Dukane and Denise Moss remixing a predictable arc—Frasier (Grammer) has just bought a painting by prominent local artist Rachel Rosenthal. He brags about it on the radio, leading to her calling in and getting invited to a cocktail party Grammer’s throwing in celebration of the purchase. He’s not really having a cocktail party, at least not until Rosenthal calls (which is how Gilpin comes over).

The story’s not in the party or even Rosenthal arriving and telling Grammer he’s bought a fake, humiliating him in front of his society friends. The story’s not even in Grammer’s attempts to return the painting to perfectly obnoxious art gallery owner John Rubinstein. It turns out the story’s in Hyde Pierce’s last scene reminiscences of grade school and being humiliated after being bullied.

The plotting doesn’t seem like it should work—Hyde Pierce goes from being very supporting during the party (he’s not in the open) and mostly just gawking at Leeves (the show hasn’t expressly made it chaste yet, Grammer’s actually concerned there might be funny business and Hyde Pierce even has to assure Leeves he’s a happily married man at one point, with a great punchline), to being the most important part of the finish. It’s not exactly a showcase for Hyde Pierce either, even in the end it’s very much Grammer’s episode (at least in terms of screen time and perspective). It’s the better—and funnier—because we get to watch Hyde Pierce over Grammer’s shoulder.

Robert Klein’s the celebrity caller, who’s… not memorable. Though Grammer’s time in the radio studio is memorable because he sings when he’s otherwise got dead air, with Gilpin making some great faces from the soundboard. It’s not the first time Grammer’s sung on screen but it’s the first time he’s done it with anyone else around.

Some good Eddie the dog moments and some great one-liners. And Mahoney showing off the Lotus Flower murder photos at the cocktail party is fantastic stuff.

Frasier (1993) s01e05 – Here’s Looking at You

It’s a very good episode overall—script courtesy Brad Hall, with able direction from Andy Ackerman—and an even better one for Jane Leeves. She’s gotten to do a lot of comedy to this point, but when it comes time for the heart part of the episode, it’s all her.

This episode also feels like the show’s moved past the establishing rhythms. You could watch it in any order in syndication and not worry about where it fits in air order. It’s basically subplot free, with David Hyde Pierce’s storyline about having to entertain his wife’s aunt, Kathleen Noone, while Maris has (predictably) come down with an ailment getting raveled into the main plot. The opening call, main plot, Peri Gilpin’s single significant anecdote, main plot.

Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) has gotten worried dad John Mahoney is too lazy. He gets concerned because of a similar situation from the opening caller (a very enthusiastic Jeff Daniels) and Gilpin telling him how her mom is the attorney general of Wisconsin doesn’t help him feel better. Gilpin’s mom being so prestigious throws Grammer for a temporary spin and him shaming Gilpin for talking to her mom about sex a few episodes ago has an echo. Not sure if it’s a nice echo exactly, but it gives Gilpin some nice passive character development at least.

Grammer’s solution for Mahoney is a telescope, which quickly turns into Mahoney communicating with a similarly aged, similarly telescope peeping woman in the apartment building across from them. Only it turns out Mahoney isn’t so wild about taking the next steps with the woman, for reasons Grammer can’t figure out and ones Leeves intuits. Mahoney gets a great scene talking to Grammer about said reasons, then Leeves gets that even better one talking to Mahoney about what she’s figured out. Excellent stuff.

There’s also the scene where Hyde Pierce brings Noone over to the apartment to meet Mahoney, which does not go well. In fact, it goes hilariously poorly. Hall’s script has that just right combination of layered jokes, immediate laughs, and heartfelt third act.

The episode does have Frasier talking on the phone to son Frederick for the first time—complete with a good Lilith joke—and establishes Frasier does indeed fly out to visit and isn’t a bad dad. Makes you wonder if episode five was enough time to get some notes back on the series after it started airing.

Regardless, it’s a good detail and gives Grammer a different bit of gristle. Because, again, strong script from Hall.

It’s another winner episode and a very nice first-in-series flex for Leeves.

Frasier (1993) s01e04 – I Hate Frasier Crane

This episode has two celebrity guest callers—Judith Ivey is the patient and Joe Mantegna as part of the plot. Mantegna is a Seattle Times newspaper columnist who can’t stand lead Kelsey Grammer’s show. Grammer has a couple great monologues where he reads from the articles and rants about them. Mantenga calls up during the second one and challenges Grammer to a fist fight outside the coffee shop, which causes a whole lot of grief for Frasier and family.

See, dad John Mahoney of course wants Grammer to fight. Mahoney hasn’t lived down the first time Grammer ran away from a fight, when he was ten. Meanwhile, Niles (David Hyde Pierce) stays out of it until the actual fisticuffs are about to kick off and then he’s more interested in hiring the mariachi band—the fight has live music, children with balloons, and people on their lunch breaks.

The episode introduces Mantegna and his column in the first scene, when Hyde Pierce shows up for dinner—and is quite taken with Jane Leeves’s eau de parfum… ranch dressing. It also leads to one of those great “Frasier” layered jokes from writer Christopher Lloyd. The first shot in the scene—before Hyde Pierce even arrives—sets up the eventual punchline for the scene. It’s fantastic.

And there’s some more great stuff from Grammer as he reacts to Niles’s gawking at Leeves. Mahoney’s endless grace is great too.

It’s Grammer’s episode though, with Hyde Pierce and Peri Gilpin around just as tertiary supporting. Mahoney’s got a scant subplot about looking into an old case, which leads to Leeves doing a psychic read on it and a great punchline once Grammer comes in.

The episode also features Hyde Pierce and Gilpin’s first onscreen meeting, though they’ve met at least two times before but Hyde Pierce can’t remember those times. It’s a really funny sequence, with Lloyd getting in a couple big laughs. Hyde Pierce is so good. His quipping ability is bar none.

While the episode does lean a little Grammer-centric, it is his show and his monologues are fantastic. Especially when Mantegna’s column is spot-on. No one indignantly pontificates like Grammer.

Frasier (1993) s01e03 – Dinner at Eight

This episode features Niles (David Hyde Pierce) meeting Daphne (Jane Leeves) for the first time and it’s amazing. Also amazing is how Kelsey Grammer is on it from the start, initially bewildered at Hyde Pierce’s behavior. Grammer really gets across how predictable Frasier finds his brother. It’s so good.

Also, I think this episode has Grammer’s first booming, “Do you mind!”, which I’m pretty sure becomes a series soundbite.

The episode’s main story involves Grammer and Hyde Pierce inviting John Mahoney out to a fancy dinner—they realize he sacrificed himself at work in their childhoods so now it’s their chance to repay him with the culture he missed. It involves a sharkskin suit on Mahoney, which is hilarious, mostly thanks to Leeves. Leeves is just the right addition to the show. She’s not just a calming influence on Grammer vs. Mahoney, she helps humanize it all. While still being goofy enough to be a little psychic.

Great line about how Grammer and Mahoney have “decided to find [the psychic stuff] charming.” Lots of great lines in the script, from Anne Flett-Giordano and Chuck Ranberg; the Crane boys’ only similarity to Mahoney being their last name and “abnormally well-developed calf muscles,” Maris and her tanning bed (actually, everything Maris this episode)… oh, and the “great polyester dinosaur” description of Mahoney’s style.

Plus Flett-Giordano and Ranberg deliver on the final act thoughtfulness. The boys end up at a restaurant of Mahoney’s choice, a steakhouse, where there’s the snob vs. Regular Joe thing, but it’s about Grammer and Hyde Pierce learning not to be assholes.

It does date awkwardly though, as we’ve been through foodie culture and you have to wonder what Frasier and Niles’s problem is with steak. They never had steak at French restaurants?

Great performance from Mahoney.

Also dating it is again going to be Roz’s dating life. Peri Gilpin humorously recounts a bad date there’s a post-punchline slut-shame because she answered the guy’s ad. It’s like… uh. What’s the joke supposed to be here? Outside it being absurd Gilpin’s got to answer random ads to meet fellas.

But still pretty darn great episode. It’s James Burrows directing again so the timing is all perfect.

Guest caller this episode is Patti LuPone, who’s got a really funny call, and you can tell it’s someone recognizable so it’s got to be a treat for LuPone fans.

Frasier (1993) s01e02 – Space Quest

This episode picks up right after the previous one, which you’d think have been a no-no in the syndication chasing days of sitcoms. But, no, the first scene is not at all morning person Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) getting up late and groggily confused about what Jane Leeves is doing in his apartment. She fills him in just before he realizes the chair wasn’t a dream either.

The episode’s all about Grammer realizing he’d much rather have his apartment to himself and just stick dad John Mahoney and healthcare worker Leeves in their own place. Grammer does a fantastic job moping around the place, getting mad at Mahoney for making him an unhealthy breakfast and Leeves bringing in the paper.

It all blows up when Frasier thinks he’s going to be able to read his book in piece and then “his father, Mary Poppins, and the Hound form Hell” return, leaving to another argument.

Grammer storms off after Mahoney calls him a “little hot house orchid,” which is hilarious.

The episode also introduces sports radio host Bob “Bulldog” Briscoe, played by Dan Butler, who has got “The Gonzo Sports Show” on after Frasier. Butler’s hilarious. He and Grammer play well off each other from the start.

There’s a nice scene for David Hyde Pierce, including some sharp cuts at Grammer’s professional ability, and then Peri Gilpin gets the episode’s most dated scene. She’s on the phone talking about her sex life, which mental health professional Grammer doesn’t think is appropriate with the other person… her mom.

It’s the second episode so it’s no surprise the writers haven’t figured out how much they want people to laugh with or against Grammer and his antics, but it’s still an iffy sequence. At best it’s slut-shaming.

Writers Sy Dukane and Denise Moss do a lot better with the eventual resolution for Grammer and Mahoney, which has laughs, surprises, and some nice character development for Mahoney in particular. There’s a cute end credits sequence and the celebrity caller this episode is Christopher Reeve; the episode’s from years before the accident, so it’s more bittersweet than anything else.

Frasier (1993) s01e01 – The Good Son

When it comes to the multi-cam sitcom, I can’t imagine a more efficient, effective pilot than “Frasier”’s The Good Son. David Angell, Peter Casey, and David Lee’s script is perfectly constructed, showcasing the cast while maintaining the focus on lead Kelsey Grammer. Since it’s a spin-off of a long-running sitcom, Grammer is the audience’s linchpin. The episode gets his setup out of the way immediately. It opens with a chapter title card, establishing that series standard, then we’ve got Grammer on the radio, Frasier Crane’ing it up with Peri Gilpin watching from the booth (and, thanks to director James Burrows and Gilpin, establishing the show’s narrative distance). Grammer monologues about the changes in his life in the last six months and what he’s been up to since “Cheers” ended.

And then it’s done. We’re all on the same page as Grammer now, so when we meet Niles (David Hyde Pierce) the next scene, the show’s stopped being a spin-off of “Cheers” and instead a spin-off for Grammer. One where he’s going to have some amazing costars; Gilpin’s fun in her first scene, especially reviewing Grammer’s performance, but nothing can compare to Hyde Pierce. When he starts cleaning his chair in the coffee shop, with Grammer looking on in awe (establishing the pecking order as far as eccentricities go), it’s immediate magic. The Good Son is the pilot exemplar because everything works just right. You want to see more of Hyde Pierce, you can’t wait to see more of Hyde Pierce. When you hear about wife Maris, you can’t wait to meet her.

The Niles and Frasier scene is to move dad Martin (John Mahoney) in with Frasier. It’s the setup for the series itself. “Cheers” stuff not directly related to Frasier is done; there’s at least one great Lilith joke—“We Crane boys sure know how to marry,” which also gives the audience some insight into Maris because very smart scripting.

The Mahoney moving in scene delivers some more great Hyde Pierce, gleeful as he’s able to shove irate working class pop Mahoney off on Grammer. The chair arrival—Mahoney’s eye-sore of a lounge chair ruining Grammer’s pristinely pretentious decoration—is perfect sequence. And then Eddie. It’s concerning how good Grammer is at hating an adorable dog.

But getting Mahoney into Frasier’s apartment and the promise of the pretentious fop vs. regular Joe dad isn’t all for the episode because it’s not all for the show. There’s a great monologue for Gilpin—recounting the Hollywood Babylon version of Lupe Vélez’s suicide—where the show establishes the kind of laughs it’s going for, ones you have to listen for, wait for, and even then the laughs aren’t at the initial “punchlines” but in the cast reactions. And there’s some more with Hyde Pierce, another Maris joke or two. But most importantly there’s also Jane Leeves.

Leeves is applying to be Mahoney’s home healthcare worker. Her not taking Grammer’s shit is just what Mahoney wants and her introduction, with the hot and cold physic readings and the “hand in the biscuit tin” attitude… you can’t wait to see more of Leeves with the Crane boys.

Because Mahoney and Grammer are incredibly unpleasant together. The episode has a nice resolution and setup for their initial conflict but… they’re going to need a tempering influence.

And the end credits sequence, set to Grammer singing the show out, perfectly establishes it.

Celebrity callers this episode are Linda Hamilton and Griffin Dunne, neither of whom I recognized, but they get credited so you’re staying through the end and seeing them is a nice detail. (And Gina Ravera, who was very familiar looking on “The Closer” a decade plus later, plays one of the baristas who has to deal with the Cranes).

So, summed up—it’s not just an exceptionally good pilot for a sitcom, it’s an exceptionally good episode of a sitcom.

Cronos (1993, Guillermo del Toro), the U.S. theatrical version

Cronos opens with an English-narrated prologue about a sixteenth century alchemist making a device to prolong his life. The uncredited narrator is wanting, the music isn’t good—it doesn’t seem like the rest of Javier Álvarez’s score, but who knows (well, the distributor would); it’s a change for the U.S. theaters and a bad one.

So it’s great when the film’s able to overcome that awkward opening—given the difference in tone, it’s hard to say if the original Spanish version would make much difference… some of the problem is the prologue content itself. But once writer and director del Toro gets Cronos settled in the present action, with a patient, deliberate introduction to lovable grandparents Federico Luppi and Margarita Isabel and their almost always silent granddaughter, Tamara Shanath, the iffy opening is an immediately distant memory. Cronos has MacGuffins in its MacGuffins, especially considering where the film ends up; the prologue is one of them. Or two of them.

The first act is mostly Luppi and Shanath hanging out at his antique shop—he’s an antiques dealer, grandma Isabel teaches dance, Shanath’s parents seem to both be deceased, she’s their paternal grandchild. There’s a cute little story Luppi eventually tells Shanath about her dad, who once tried to get Luppi to stop smoking by hiding Luppi’s cigarettes. Shanath’s doing the same thing, sort of; she’s hiding Luppi’s Cronos device.

Getting ahead of myself here.

So Luppi and Shanath are in the shop and they discover a statue with a hollow base. They discover it because some tweaker-type shuffles into the antique shop, looking at some of Luppi’s still wrapped pieces. Luppi gets curious, unwraps the statue, finds the hollow base, opens it, takes out a golden scarab looking thing. Pretty soon it latches on to Luppi’s arm and pokes him with its six legs. Inside the device—the biggest effects sequences in the film are the interiors, close ups of miniature gears—is an unidentified insect. It acts as a filter, presumably putting its own antibodies into the user’s blood, then distributing it back into the body.

The actual process of the device never gets too much attention, partially because there probably aren’t any bugs out there able to turn people into vampires—getting ahead again, sorry—but also because del Toro avoids painting himself and the film into any corners. It’s going to have shades of comedic absurdity in the second act, whereas the first just has echoes of magical realism (via the mechanical). Del Toro needs to keep things relatively loose.

Luppi becomes immediately addicted to the device, something he hides from wife Isabel but granddaughter Shanath finds out right away. Shanath’s not in favor of the Cronos device, but eventually relents enough to allow Luppi to keep it (as opposed to her hiding the device from him). Unfortunately, bad guys Claudio Brook and Ron Perlman also want the device and they’re willing to get violent about it.

Brook’s an old rich guy living in a sterile room in an industrial district with only American nephew Perlman to care for him. Perlman’s an errand boy, waiting for Brook to die for some inheritance. Brook doesn’t even tell Perlman why they’re looking for the device; besides the opening narration, all the exposition about the device comes from Brook, who never tells Luppi quite enough to make informed decisions.

Because pretty soon, Luppi starts noticing he’s lusting for human blood. He’s also lusting for Isabel, reinvigorated, clean-shaven, horny. Shanath really doesn’t like the amorous grandad, though Isabel doesn’t seem to notice the severity of the change.

At this point in the film, however, Cronos completely shifts gears as it prepares for the third act, which is all about Shanath having a grandfather who’s a vampire. There’s a lot of cute stuff with Shanath having a grandfather who’s a vampire, even though Luppi’s face is literally molding off. Isabel, who’s always a distant fifth in the film, disappears for the most of the last thirty minutes. It’s all about Luppi and Shanath trying to get things sorted out with Brook and Perlman, which seems like it’s the most important thing in the third act, but really isn’t. Despite being murderous, Brook and Perlman aren’t particularly threatening.

Probably because del Toro plays them for laughs a lot. Perlman’s doing a mostly comedic part. Brook’s doing a Mr. Big thing, only his performance is weak and his moments are where Cronos feels a tad cheap.

The film’s got a low budget and del Toro’s inventive with compensating for it, often successfully, but the cartoon villains are a mistake. Though as Cronos winds down, it seems like everything’s gotten to be a mistake, even Álvarez’s usually excellent score. Del Toro tries for something with the finale and misses, ending the already run down, deus ex machina’d Cronos on a shrug. Some of it’s the composition, with del Toro going in too tight on some of the shots—again, might just be budgetary, he and cinematographer Guillermo Navarro have some need cost-saving tricks throughout—but even so qualified, it’s a miss. The wandering narrative distance doesn’t do the film any favors.

There’s some great color palette stuff throughout from Navarro—the blue nights, the colors on the costumes, especially Shanath’s, then Shanath’s green glow stick, which becomes a familiar visual trope—but also some bland photography.

Cronos isn’t a failure by any means, but it’s also not the success it ought to be. Perlman’s bold comic villain turn, for example, is never as successful as it should be. Luppi’s turning into a vampire takes away all the subtext in his performance, replacing it with the inevitable inevitable blood lust. Isabel’s good but barely in it. Shanath’s in a similar situation. She’s always around but rarely the focus, even though it’s her story.

Del Toro does a great job stretching the budget, which is where Cronos is the most impressive. But that success really shouldn’t be the film’s most impressive feat.

Grumpy Old Men (1993, Donald Petrie)

If Grumpy Old Men weren’t so scared of its ribald humor—giving almost all of it to dirty oldest man Burgess Meredith, who’s just there to make sex jokes and serves no other purpose in the film—you could probably just as well call it Horny Old Men. At least in Jack Lemmon’s case. He hasn’t gotten horizontal since 1978, which might be when his wife left. Grumpy’s pretty vague with its backstory, maybe because writer Mark Steven Johnson is far more comfortable with Lemmon and nemesis Walter Matthau bickering; or maybe he’s just not good at consistency in the exposition. Given the general ineptness of the narrative, it seems more like the latter.

Because even though the film’s principal cast is entirely AARP eligible, it’s not some empowering story about older adults living full lives; if it weren’t for Ann-Margret moving in across the street and reminding Matthau and Lemmon to perv at her through their windows, they’d be just as happy sitting around alone doing nothing. Sure, Matthau’s got his TV and Lemmon plays chess against himself, but their lives are just waiting for their kids to need them. The kids—Kevin Pollak is Matthau’s son, Daryl Hannah’s Lemmon’s daughter—are the only supporting characters with a full arc. Though… arguably, Lemmon is the only of the the main characters with a complete arc. Once the third act hits, Matthau and Ann-Margret act entirely for Lemmon’s benefit, even as he’s offscreen for a bunch of the finale.

Lemmon’s arc mostly involves him dodging IRS guy Buck Henry—who’s well-utilized and quite amusing in an otherwise bland little extended cameo—because (we learn) he wasn’t paying enough back when his ex-wife was working so he owes a bunch of money and they’re going to take his house. He’s not telling anyone about these problems—and the film isn’t telling the viewer either so it can double-up expository impact when Matthau finds out about it late in the second act—so it’s hard to take the problems seriously. You’re obviously not supposed to take Grumpy Old Men very seriously, from vulgar nonagenarian Meredith to Lemmon and Matthau’s mean-spirited bantering slash full-on slapstick physical comedy; Lemmon’s money problems, despite being the biggest plot (sorry, Ann-Margret), don’t make much impact. Lemmon’s great at fretting but fretting solo can’t compare to he and Matthau going thermonuclear. Especially since Matthau’s got zip to do except go thermonuclear.

Because they’re not really Grumpy Old Men in general, just specifically as it relates to the other. They’ve hated each other since childhood; despite being pals until puberty, the first girl to come between them broke the friendship early, which must have made it awkward when Lemmon then married the girl, had a couple kids—a son died in Vietnam to remind everyone it’s actually kind of serious but in a “this was very serious thirty years ago and not since” way—and was miserable with Matthau’s dream girl. Matthau meanwhile married a good woman—the way they talk about Lemmon’s ex-wife is… problematic. Though the script’s often problematic with its female characters. The boys initially suspect Ann-Margret is a free-love type, for example, and it’s impossible to fault them because her writing is so bad for most of the first act. She’s supposed to be a passionate literature professor living her best life as a widow, which involves snowmobiling a lot. And a sauna so they can show fifty-two year-old Ann-Margret can still cheesecake.

It’s also unclear why Ann-Margret’s only three options, dating-wise, are Lemmon (sixty-eight), Matthau (seventy-three), and Ossie Davis (seventy-six). Especially since she’s not just drawing stares from the oldest guys. Of course, the film’s not really interested in fleshing out the setting. Besides Lemmon, Matthau, Ann-Margrets’s homes, the frozen lake where the men all icefish because it’s Minnesota (Davis runs the bait shop and lunch counter), a bar, and a pharmacy, Grumpy Old Men doesn’t go anywhere.

The best performance is probably Matthau, just because he doesn’t get too much to do, whereas the script fails both Lemmon and Ann-Margret (mostly her). Davis is cute, Pollak is good, Hannah’s fine. Technically it’s competent. Petrie does fine showcasing the physical comedy and the banter. Johnny E. Jensen’s photography is better than it needs to be. The Alan Silvestri super-saccharine score is a tad much though.

Grumpy Old Men has got some solid laughs and not much else.

Oh, and listen fast for John Carroll Lynch.

Fallen Angels (1993) s01e03 – The Quiet Room

The Quiet Room really, really, really, relies on its twist. The ending is really predictable too; like, director Soderbergh and writer Howard A. Rodman do way too well on the foreshadowing. Because Room is a slightly exaggerated noir–part of the “Fallen Angels” TV anthology–nothing really needs to be foreshadowed. There’s a twist Soderbergh and Rodman set up in the first third, the end just delivers on it in an extreme way. Two twists for the price (or time) of one.

By the last third, when it’s just the countdown to the reveal, both lead performances softly crater. Soderbergh makes sure the lovely Emmanuel Lubezki and luscious Armin Ganz production design slow the descent. But the descent is inevitable because it’s just a noir TV anthology episode. With a source short story. And a somewhat salacious twist, at least as far as noir goes; if Quiet Room were going for homage, it might work better. Instead, it tries to be something different.

Joe Mantegna and Bonnie Bedelia are dirty cops. They’re having a love affair, which no one knows about; besides them, the only significant character is Mantegna’s teenage daughter, Vinessa Shaw (in the most important performance and the consistently worst). Mantegna is a single dad, out all hours because he and Bedelia have a shakedown racket going. Bedelia collars prostitutes and then beats information out of them about their johns so Mantegna can go and shake down the johns. Peter Gallagher has what seems like a great cameo as one of them, but then J.E. Freeman is one of the other ones and he’s freaking amazing in a much smaller role. Freeman walks away with the whole thing. Especially given how it finishes up.

Mantegna is mostly all right. He really whiffs when he needs to make it work. Bedelia’s better. Neither of them get good roles though. It’s all about Freeman though, performance-wise.

Soderbergh’s direction is fine. He’s got a handful of nice shots and does well with the actors. Sometimes well with the actors. There’s only so much to do with the script, especially as it starts barreling towards the inevitable conclusion. Soderbergh doesn’t do anything to slow its descent, much less stop it.