All Hail the King (2014, Drew Pearce)

It's too bad All Hail the King wasn't the epilogue to Iron Man 3. It's a continuation of Ben Kingsley's story from that film and it's the best thing out of Marvel. At fourteen minutes.

Writer-director Drew Pearce only has three scenes in the film–he uses a montage opening to establish, so maybe three and a half. He gives Kingsley a bunch of great lines and a fantastic plot. It eventually follows up on elements from all three Iron Man movies. It's a humorous wink at the idea of dropped subplots and forgotten supporting characters.

In addition to the dialogue and the acting–Scoot McNairy and Lester Speight are also great–Pearce's direction is outstanding. He has numerous jokes throughout, often letting them develop from a dramatic situation. That approach works perfectly with Kingsley's British stage boob.

While it's a showcase for Kingsley, it's equally one for Pearce. King is near perfect.

Agent Carter (2013, Louis D’Esposito)

Agent Carter is a terrible execution of a nice idea. The short is supposed to follow-up on Hayley Atwell’s character after the Captain America movie. A post-script for a supporting character… love that idea.

Sadly, Carter wastes most of its runtime. The first minute is a recap from the movie, the end credits are three and a half minutes or so (of a fourteen minute short)… Atwell eventually plays second fiddle to stunt casted Bradley Whitford. Whitford plays her sexist boss (it’s the forties after all).

There are other returning Captain America cast members, but director D’Esposito and writer Eric Pearson save them for more stunt moments at the end.

The idea Carter ends on–what’s next for Atwell and her sidekicks–would make a fun movie. Except this short’s it. There’s just the promise next time it’d better.

It’s a shame too. Atwell does well with nothing.

Item 47 (2012, Louis D’Esposito)

Item 47 is exceptionally lame. Though it is well-acted and Marvel did pay for a Cars song over the end credits….

47 is an “aside” Avengers sequel, but more to the events in it. SHIELD agent Maximiliano Hernández’s mission is to find a Bonnie and Clyde team using an alien gun. But they’re really nice people, played by Lizzy Caplan and Jesse Bradford. Director D’Esposito doesn’t get how to direct their scenes together so Caplan and Bradford are just stuck doing all the character work themselves.

Of course, if Eric Pearson’s script wasn’t so weak, 47 might be a lot better. He can’t write dialogue for the couple, but he can’t write it for the SHIELD agents either. The whole thing’s a setup for a weak punchline.

And 47‘s end credits are over two minutes long, which is way too long for a short. Cars song or not.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer (2011, Leythum)

The first one of these “Marvel One-Shots” (starring mild-mannered Clark Gregg on side adventures) was pretty lame, but A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer is pretty darn good. It’s a little short (the end credits are almost longer than the short) and the licensing department missed out on a golden Hostess Fruit Pie opportunity, but it works.

The story is slim—Gregg breaks up a hold-up at a desert gas station—but Gregg makes Funny Thing work in his first close-up. Another problem with the previous one was how slight Gregg’s presence was in it; not here. Here, Gregg’s able to sell even bad production ideas (his character listens to big band—at the beginning, it fails, after Gregg takes over, it succeeds).

I’m not sure Gregg could sustain his own movie, but a superhero sitcom series with him might be fun.

The Consultant (2011, Leythum)

So if you’ve been desperate to find out what happens after Robert Downey Jr.’s cameo in The Incredible Hulk, The Consultant would be the bridging short for you.

It’s an interesting concept—little Blu-ray specials to flesh out side stories—but it only runs two and a half minutes, including lifting the cameo in its entirety. No, Edward Norton doesn’t make an appearance.

The short ostensibly follows Clark Gregg’s character from the Marvel movies around (retroactively inserting him into Hulk… kind of) but he doesn’t do anything but drink coffee in a diner and talk. If Eric Pearson’s script were funny, it might have worked. If it were a sitcom take on Gregg’s bureaucratic adventures (with superheroes)….

But, it’s not. Instead, it’s awkward and underproduced.

Even worse, Maximiliano Hernández has a lot more personality (as Gregg’s sidekick) than Gregg does himself.

The concept’s interesting but this execution fails.