Shazam! (2019, David F. Sandberg)

At its very best, for a few minutes Shazam! seems like a Wes Anderson-esque superhero movie gone wrong. Like they lost the music they wanted at the last minute but had still cut the sequence together. Specifically, it’s Zachary Levi’s superhero training YouTubes, set to Queen’s Don’t Stop Me Now. The song has no meaning to Levi or the sequence. It’s just familiar in the right way. It’s desperate but competent, which describes most of the movie.

The sequence is long enough to grok how they could’ve done the picture as an Anderson riff, specifically Rushmore, but then it’s more like they saw the MTV Music Awards Rushmore bits and didn’t realize there was a context. It’s a weird fail because it’s not exactly disappointing. Until the superhero finale, it’s the most effort director Sandberg puts into anything in the movie, and it shows. There’s thoughtfulness, just not successful thoughtfulness.

Anyway.

Shazam! is an inoffensively lackluster superhero origin story. The first act gets its personality from a John Glover cameo (hey, it’s better than his last DC movie) and then the unsuccessful but not bad Djimon Hounsou cameo. The film’s problem is little the actors actually interact with one another except to move the plot forward; deliver your lines, and get out. Sandberg doesn’t spend any time on the actors responding or reacting. It hurts the cameos just because there’s no weight when the actors return later on. No one’s got any chemistry; they’re just doing schtick.

So it’s never a surprise when Sandberg doesn’t make it happen. When he does, however, it stands out. Like a Big reference in a toy store, but it comes after there’s no acknowledgment of the rest of the scene, which is superhero Levi basically throwing random children in front of supervillain Mark Strong. The most impressive thing about Shazam! is how many subplots they can avoid. There are at least three, probably more, with one presumably left over for the sequel. The others, however, just get dropped once they get to the third act.

And Shazam! does have a good third act. Not the story, but the superhero action. It’s got an excellent superhero action finish, with plenty of cute Superman II nods. It’s shocking how well Sandberg can direct the sequences after the previous, bland hundred minutes. There are also some good, not specific to Levi’s superhero observations about the genre, like supervillains talking from far away and everyone recording on smartphones. Shazam!’s sadly more thoughtful in its background than its foreground, which is trite. Much like Sandberg’s direction, Henry Gayden’s script is perfunctory. There’s no such thing as character development in the script, with the film instead relying on the actors. Unfortunately, Sandberg’s got no time for the actors’ performances, so it’s just a bunch of rote deliveries of rote lines.

So it’s impressive when actors stand out, like Faithe Herman and Grace Fulton. Okay, a quick explanation of the plot. Levi is the adult superhero version of teenager Asher Angel, who has just moved into a new foster home. Herman, Fulton, Jack Dylan Grazer, Ian Chen, and Jovan Armand play his foster siblings. Herman’s the adorable one, Chen’s the gamer, Armand’s the silent one, Grazer’s the superhero fanboy, and Angel’s pal. Grazer ought to have much better material, as he’s Levi’s sidekick in addition to Angel’s. But no. The only one to get a subplot is Fulton, who’s the oldest and going to college soon. Of course, the going-to-college thing is her subplot, but it’s something. There’s zip for the rest of the kids. Angel’s subplot is searching for his mom, Caroline Palmer, who lost him in the prologue.

Angel and Levi don’t resemble much physically—white guys with brown hair, I guess—which would be fine if there was any effort in syncing their performances. There’s not. Levi’s playing a totally different teenager turned superhero adult. All they needed to do was establish a link between the performances, and it’d be fine. Instead, it’s where you can just give up on Shazam!. If the movie’s not going to take its central conceit seriously, why bother with any of it.

Also, they talk about family so much they should’ve gotten a Vin Diesel cameo. Or at least had them watching Fast and the Furious. The villains are the Seven Deadly Sins, which makes very little sense because—even though the foster family says grace—it’s an ambiguous higher power grace. But if they’d had a bit about the kids watching Se7en….

Shazam! just needed a competent rewrite.

Levi’s amusing without being particularly likable. He’s a little desperate for approval, which should work better for the movie. Maybe if they’d have gotten the one cameo they really needed at the end. None of it ties to Angel or his performance; Angel’s never better than mediocre, but he never got the chance to be anything but mediocre.

Strong’s terrible, but in a killjoy, unambitious sort of way. The film aims to keep him as unremarkable (literally) as possible. He’s dressed like a nineties Eurotrash villain, and the special effects on his supervillain sequences are good. It actually just plays into the Superman II riffs.

The film’s technically proficient, just without any distinction. Thanks to the third act, I suppose Maxime Alexandre’s photography is the best technical.

Shazam!’s tedious without being boring. It could be worse and seems to be the peak of the production’s capabilities. But it’s desperate, neglectful, and indecisive. So I suppose with all those caveats, it’s better than expected. And then, obviously, that third act’s great.

Doctor Who (2005) s13e06 – The Vanquishers

What a lackluster conclusion. There’s actually a bunch of good stuff, including a triplicated Jodie Whittaker they should’ve been doing since the cliffhanger on the first episode. Still, as the finish to “Doctor Who vs. The Flux,” it’s minimally successful.

The resolution with rubber mask supervillains Sam Spruell and Rochenda Sandall is lousy, and then the hook is exactly what you’d expect anyway. It’s Whittaker’s last season as the Doctor, and of course, the villains know to threaten her with not being regenerated. They’ve been doing it since David Tennant was on the show. It’s been ten years of it. Blah.

There’s some really good stuff with guest star Jemma Redgrave, who hasn’t been on since Peter Capaldi. She and Whittaker have excellent chemistry—when the episode beats Bechdel, it beats Bechdel—only it’s Whittaker’s farewell lap. Maybe they should’ve introduced Redgrave earlier. In Whittaker’s reign, not in this season. Though, in this season too. They could’ve halved this “event” and had something.

There’s some good stuff with John Bishop, who just needed character development away from Whittaker to get into the right zone as a companion. Mandip Gill has decent material throughout until to have a thankless conclusion.

The “Flux”-specific companions all get some final arcs and farewells, with Craige Els, Jacob Anderson, and Thaddea Graham set for an obnoxious spin-off. The good work is from Kevin McNally and Annabel Scholey, who get thankless conclusions too. Scholey’s finish doesn’t even make sense for the timeline, but, whatever most of the universe is destroyed, so does it really matter.

The Sontaran villains are only good compared to Craig Parkinson as the pointless guest human villain. There are way too many qualifications on a way too long, way too thin storyline. Especially since the deus ex machina gives way to an even more effective deus ex machina, they could’ve obviously used. It’s terrible plotting from writer Chris Chibnall, who wasted full episodes of the season on nonsense.

A quarter of the episode plays like a Star Wars 1977 homage, like the BBC finally gave “Doctor Who” to do the riff on it they’d been planning since… 1977. There is some decent CGI work, though. Surprisingly good for the show. Even if the green screen compositing is still lousy.

But the three Whittakers—interacting with different sets of companions, friends, and foes in different times—is possibly the best Whittaker has done when it hasn’t been one of her companions holding up the show. It’s a shame it took them until now to figure out what to do with the character. Still, since Doctors Who are always temporary, it’s hard to get any character development going until they face their imminent recasting.

It’s a real shame they wasted so much of Whittaker, Gill, and Bishop’s limited time remaining on this six-part nonsense. Writer and showrunner Chiball stretched an okay three-parter (it’d have been better in two) way too far with way too little reward.

Superman & Lois (2021) s01e13 – Fail Safe

There’s some good, bad, and weird this episode. Mostly good and weird. The bad—besides A.C. Peterson ever-wanting Emperor Palpatine and then Eric Keenleyside’s similarly weak performance as the conniving Smallville mayor—is when all the adults of color are mean to Erik Valdez. Valdez and Emmanuelle Chriqui are feeling the fallout from Valdez cheerleading literal supervillain Adam Rayner building a factory. They run into Valdez’s fire fighting crew at the diner, and they’re all super shitty to Valdez, and it’s hard not to see the literal racial optics of it.

Also, the “Superman and Lois” drinking game is how many times Valdez says, “y’all.” I think you’d finish a fifth every scene.

But there’s some more of my imagined Valdez backstory after Inde Navarrette tells Alex Garfin—before they get harassed by the cops, so it’s good to know ACAB works in Smallville too. Navarrette tells Garfin the family’s originally from Mexico, but they’ve been in Smallville for generations, which syncs with my theory Valdez’s dad was some shitty white guy, and his mom was a quietly suffering Hispanic lady.

Anyway.

Navarrette and Garfin are skipping school because Navarrette’s sick of people talking shit about her family. Garfin’s along because they’re de facto dating at this point. Meanwhile, Jordan Elsass is skipping school with junior Kayla Heller, who all of a sudden is showing interest. Of course, everyone at school knows Garfin and Elsass’s grandfather is Dylan Walsh now, and since Walsh is the general encamped in the town… people want the story.

As does newspaper editor Sofia Hasmik, who finds herself disappointed in Elizabeth Tulloch’s journalistic ethics. Tulloch’s not giving Hasmik the whole story about how Tyler Hoechlin’s Superman and Clark Kent and villain Rayner is his half-Kryptonian brother. The Hasmik and Tulloch arc is necessary but sort of weak, at least as far as giving Hasmik anything to do. Another weird thing—she doesn’t have a computer on her desk. Hasmik. The editor of the newspaper.

Meanwhile, Hoechlin’s arguing with Walsh and Walsh’s stockpile of Kryptonite weapons. Wolé Parks is still around, too, figuring into some of the conversations. He and Hoechlin have the single superhero action sequence of the episode. But there’s some more super-powers stuff because Rayner’s sitting around in his cell and flashing back to his secret mission and Peterson being mean to him.

Plus, Valdez and Chriqui have a whole arc about being ostracized in their community.

It’s a full episode. It’s not exactly soapy because it’s a decompression from action episode. The dust has settled, and everyone’s getting their bearings. But not really because the season’s not over, and there’s more super-powered danger on the way.

The episode also reveals how much it’s leaning in on the nineties Superman comics, retroactively making Rayner’s villain costume a little more fitting.

Finally, I’m pretty sure they confirm Melissa Benoist and “Supergirl” don’t exist in this universe, meaning when David Ramsey guest-starred a couple episodes ago… it’s an alternate universe version.

Oh, and now finally, finally—in addition to the nineties Superman comics nods, there’s also some very Superman IV moments. And the promise of another one. But it works. I’m still not sure how much I’d recommend “Superman and Lois,” but I’m reasonably hooked.

Doctor Who (2005) s13e05 – Survivors of the Flux

“Doctor Who” has been around for almost sixty years, but its plot reveals are recycled plot points from last summer’s popular entertainment. This episode opens with a terrible CGI sequence as we find out what happens to Doctor Jodie Whittaker after she gets turned into a Weeping Angel statue.

Nothing, it’s just carbonite to transport her to meet She Who Remains (Barbara Flynn, who appeared in a quick ominous cameo earlier this season). There Whittaker finds out everything she knew about the Time Lords and the Universe was wrong (again). Flynn runs the anti-Federation, called the Division, which breaks the Prime Directive to change species’ evolutions for the Time Lords’ purposes. Oh, and Flynn has a secret identity important to Whittaker’s history.

Only not really.

I mean, sure, technically, but at most, it’s Whittaker’s “history” from last season. But the weightiness of it is more from this season, like three episodes ago. Writer Chris Chibnall doesn’t even try to get away with the recently introduced fluff; instead, he relies on Whittaker and Flynn to make the scenes effective and then—since Flynn’s playing a caricature—it ends up being all on Whittaker.

Who’s fine. It could be a lot worse. It will be a lot worse. Chibnall actually manages to hold on to the narrative cheapness until the end of the episode. Well, the most narrative cheapness. There’s a bunch throughout.

Starting with companions-lost-in-time Mandip Gill, Josh Bishop, and Kevin McNally, who are much better without Whittaker. They’re trapped in 1905, where “Doctor Who” continues its British jingoist timeline where no one was racist or sexist and instead thinks Gill’s wonderful. They’ve been trapped in the past for three years, and this episode has them figuring out how to get back to the future. It’s literally something they should’ve figured out on the second day. Their adventures are kind of Indiana Jones, but with a lot of colonialism thrown in. Like, do the British not see themselves?

Anyway.

There’s also some stuff with returning mawg Craige Els, who’s no more charming than before. Not even after finding out he’s thousands if not hundreds of thousands of years old or whatever. He’s got a couple tasks this episode, including dragging down Thaddeus Graham. Then Jacob Anderson’s off doing something too.

Craig Parkinson’s back—he was a racist future villain in another episode this season. Now he’s just in the British government in the late twentieth century, where they reward racist villains. Nice cameo from Robert Bathurst; I, unfortunately, cannot remember his “Downton” nickname. But having, you know, good actors cameo makes you wonder why they don’t hire more of them.

It’s a better episode than most this season, but solo writer Chibnall really should’ve brought back his co-writer from the last episode. There’s only so much Gill, Bishop, and McNally being charming can cover for and the episode finds that limit way too quickly.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s07e06 – Deus Ex Latrina

“Legends” hasn’t been renewed yet, and it’s kind of been a bubble show forever, which is why it’s always so nice when they get an early renewal. But this season now seems to be arranging things for a send-off. At least, potentially. Events are perturbing towards closure—or at least not unresolved cliffhangers—and it kind of feels like a victory lap season.

Though it might just feel that way because they do so well here.

The gang has lost their time ship, and last episode teamed up with a 1920s scientist, played by Matt Ryan (in a different role than usual), to get back to the future. Unfortunately, Ryan didn’t account for so many people in the time machine (seriously, there are now nine regular Legends), and they time-crashed off course. Where? Unclear. Maybe dinosaurs.

So while they’re trying to get settled for the night, splitting off into groups for character developing adventures, last season’s big bad, Raffi Barsoumian, has teamed up with an evil AI version of Amy Louise Pemberton (who’s now become a human member of the gang), to destroy Legends. AI Pemberton wants to save the timeline from those meddling Legends; Barsoumian’s just mad they kidnapped him and wiped his mind.

The audience found out about the AI Pemberton and Barsoumian teaming up a few episodes ago, but now we see what they’ve been doing. And it’s actually stuff we’ve already seen, like the time ship getting destroyed in the season premiere or the robot J. Edgar Hoover (Giacomo Baessato) showing up and hunting them down. It’s multiple episodes of the show proper, but it’s all in a row for AI Pemberton and Barsoumian because they’re on a time ship. One of Jes Macallan clones is on board with them, and AI Pemberton doesn’t like her, which leads to some great 2001 riffs.

Meanwhile, in the past—whether prehistoric or not is a plot point—everyone’s stressed out, including regular Macallan and Caity Lotz, who thought they were on their way to a honeymoon in Tahiti. So while Olivia Swann takes Macallan to work out her aggression gathering firewood, Lisseth Chavez takes Lotz to work out hers hunting for dinner. The Swann and Macallan stuff ends up being better than the Chavez and Lotz stuff, but there’s also more of the former. And it’s a scene where Swann really comes through.

Tala Ashe and Shayan Sobhian babysit Ryan, who’s freaking out, leading to some wonderful bonding between Ashe and Ryan. Now, these two actors played love interests in their other “Legends” parts, so there’s something of a base chemistry, but these characters are entirely different, and it leads to some more excellent work. I forgot how great Ashe is in this version of the character. She’s been doing the other one full-time for what seems like two seasons, and this episode’s a great return.

Then there’s a comic subplot for human Pemberton and Adam Tsekhman, who are delightful together, and Nick Zano building the camp while talking himself through relationship decisions.

Plus, the big reveal of where they actually are in history and how it will affect them.

It’s an excellent episode. Kind of a bridging one, kind of a catch-up one with AI Pemberton and Barsoumian’s scheming, and then also kind of a breather. The enormous cast gets a chance to chill and reset, and the episode takes the time to let them.

So even if they do wrap it up and don’t play chicken with a renewal… damn, I hope they get renewed.

Doctor Who (2005) s13e03 – Once, Upon Time

One of the reasons it’s easier to look at this season of “Doctor Who” through the lens of previous sci-fi is just talking about the new season of “Doctor Who” is boring. And narratively cheap. Chris Chibnall’s script this time uses two major manipulative devices just to get it across the finish line, and it’s literally about all the series bad guys taking over the universe. Even with the Daleks, the Cybermen, and the Angels, it’s a snoozer.

The episode opens with a title card—“Bel’s Story”—and then we meet Bel, played by Thaddea Graham. She’s on one side of the galaxy, post-Flux, trying to get to the other. She’s got a long-lost love to reunite with, and her only friend is a Tamagotchi. Now, it turns out the episode will be all about two Flux events, with Graham in one of them, but the episode hinting she’s in the other one. Would it be better if she were in the other one? Who knows, but it wouldn’t be as dull. It’s really dull, real rote, once Chibnall does the big reveal.

Though I guess the special effects on Graham’s spaceship journey are better than anywhere else. When Jodie Whittaker’s stuck in the time stream—she’s unstuck in time, we’ll get to it—the special effects are of the “oh, they’re supposed to be bad” quality. Sort of like the villains’ rubber masks. We also find out the bad guys are called “The Ravagers” this episode, which is definitely from Guardians of the Galaxy but I think the term’s been used at DC Comics too. It also doesn’t describe the villains well, like trying to imagine them sitting around and coming up with that name for themselves. The bad guys are mad because there’s a planet Time, which the Doctor apparently helped create then forgot.

No mention of the Time Lords this episode, like Chibnall’s only allowed to mess with canon so much before they hit the reset button at the end of the season.

The heroes are all unstuck in time. Whittaker, Mandip Gill, John Bishop, and Jacob Anderson. Whittaker’s got the ostensible A plot, about the first time the Flux happened, where she isn’t exactly herself, and she’s actually not remembering things right, but it’s suitable for reveals. Her team looks like Gill, Bishop, or Anderson, but we soon find out they aren’t actually those people, and it’s not the future; it’s the past. We also meet Barbara Flynn, who’s very ominous, and you expect her to wink at the camera and joke about being the “Master of Her Domain” or something.

Anyway, Whittaker’s portion of the episode looks like someone really liked the apocalypse epilogue in Zach Snyder’s Justice League. Or at least some of the CGI backdrops. So many lousy CGI composites in this episode. So many.

We get Anderson’s origin story, involving future white people still being racist. Gill fills in as other characters Anderson is misremembering and has the most acting work in the episode. It’s admirable work from Gill, though her actual character gets the shaft. Damsel in distress stuff when she gets it. Bishop’s got a busy work plot to make it all about saving a different damsel for him.

The cliffhanger’s effective at least, but they’re really sending Whittaker out with a lackluster finale. Especially when we find out she shouldn’t even be in the episode; she’s stealing someone else’s place. The whole thing is an eyeroll.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s06e13 – Silence of the Sonograms

I wish Matt Ryan weren’t so good as a softie. He’s almost against type these days as John Constantine, this suffering devoted boyfriend who tries not to gaslight or yell when disagreeing with girlfriend Tala Ashe. The dialogue on their romantic problems—she finds out he’s been lying to her again, hiding his addiction to evil magic juice—is a little trite because it’s a superhero show, and they’re magic people. Still, Ashe and Ryan are so good when they’re sincere. Their chemistry is vibrant. Apparently, so vibrant Ashe got a haircut between last episode’s cliffhanger and this episode’s resolution.

But she sticks it out. Though every time she leaves Ryan alone, it plays wrong, like she’s setting him up for something, but she’s not. The episode will get by on the actors more than the script—credited to Phil Klemmer and Morgan Faust–so it’s not just bad for Ashe.

Jes Macallan gets the other main plot—it’s kind of two B plots and a C plot coming together; the pacing’s excellent, the drama’s just a little too simple. But Macallan’s got the other big plot where she’s interrogating recently cloned season bad guy, Raffi Barsoumian. Barsoumian’s future scientist created Macallan’s clone line, so she’s got a lot of baggage, which comes through in the interrogation; she’s ostensibly running the show, but he might have an edge of manipulating her. It’s good acting from Macallan and Barsoumian without being particularly good writing for either of them. The entire episode is setting up the season finale arc, so it’s kind of like chess pieces being arranged. Or dominos. I’m only thinking chess pieces because Nick Zano and Caity Lotz play chess while doing exposition dumps.

There’s some fun stuff with Dominic Purcell being pregnant—for a while before it gets very dramatic; otherwise, it’s a heavy episode. Adam Tsekhman’s got a few scenes, and they’re funny, but he’s barely around because otherwise, he’d foil the Barsoumian arc early. Ashe enlists Olivia Swann and Lisseth Chavez for help with Ryan, and it’s a fun but too short team-up.

The episode’s trying to keep the costs down on a bridging episode by focusing on character development to get things set for the sci-fi superhero action, but… the script’s just not really there. Enough. The idea’s there, the actors are there, the dialogue isn’t. Nico Sachse’s direction helps.

But good acting without much fodder from Macallan, Ashe, Barsoumian, and Ryan. Half of Ryan. If Ryan were better at his green kryptonite evil version, who knows. Otherwise, maybe one more C plot, and it’d have probably been fine. It’s still okay. It’s just actors deserve better writing on a character development episode.

Lone Star (1996, John Sayles)

Lone Star is Texas Gothic. There’s nowhere else the story plays the same way except a border town, at no time other than when it does; it’s all about the sins of the mothers and fathers playing out. Actual sins, imagined sins, hidden sins. It’s about heroes and villains and how they’re the same thing. It’s very much about love and loss and anger and sadness. It’s about fear. And it’s about joy and goodness. There’s never any kindness in Lone Star without goodness backing it up. It’s hopeful without being aspirational. Because bad things happen all the time and good people suffer.

The film opens with the C tier–Lone Star has got an A plot, a B plot, and many C plots running between the two and around them. But all the actors who are in C plots have business in the A and B plots. Like how Miriam Colon’s story arc about her relationship with one of her employees, Richard Coca, is more complicated than she realized is a C plot, Colon has a lot to do with A plot actor Elizabeth Peña because Colon’s playing her mother. So when the film opens with Stephen Mendillo and Stephen J. Lang finding a body out next to an army base, Mendillo and Lang are sidekicks to the mystery. Because Lone Star’s a mystery. It’s more a drama, but it’s a mystery too. It’s about what happens when you turn drama into mystery. Or vice versa.

The body discovery introduces sheriff Chris Cooper, who we soon learn is the son of a famous 20th-century sheriff, played in flashback by Matthew McConaughey. The body’s got a sheriff’s badge next to it, so Cooper goes and talks to the mayor, Clifton James, who used to be deputy. Jeff Monahan plays the young version of James. They work for corrupt thug of a sheriff Kris Kristofferson back in the fifties, and Kristofferson disappeared. So Cooper starts thinking it’s Kristofferson’s body they found and investigates his now-dead father’s past. Meanwhile, Joe Morton has taken command of the nearby army base—the body found on property adjoining—and he’s dreading running into his own father, the only Black bar’s owner, played by Ron Canada. Lone Star’s town is a mix of Mexican, white, and Black. We find out that mix is vital to the film early on, when Morton’s wife, Oni Faida Lampley, talks to Peña about it before we even find out how their characters figure in.

Peña and Cooper used to be in love in high school before their parents broke it up. They moved on, married other people, left or were left by other people, and now they’re running into each other again. The film’s got so many timing coincidences the characters can’t help but comment on it—McConaughey’s on Cooper’s mind already because they’re dedicating a courthouse to him and the naming decision was contentious because the Hispanic population dramatically outnumbers the white now; the city’s changing. The mystery angle drives Cooper’s investigation, but how the people he interviews talk to him about the past. Lone Star takes place in a world where it’s time to start telling the truth and not the white American fairytales. Because in Texas, there are lots of bodies still buried.

Another C plot involves army grunt Chandra Wilson, who finds herself in trouble in Canada’s bar and then, incidentally, in Morton’s crosshairs too. Because of how writer and director Sayles lays out the B plot—Sayles follows Eddie Robinson, as Morton’s son and Canada’s grandson, into the bar one fateful evening, and it connects to a bunch of other plot threads as Morton goes through a self-discovery. Juxtaposed against Cooper’s, but Cooper and Morton never have a scene together. They’re just two guys from the same town who have a lot of similar trauma caused by men who never figured out how to stop causing it. It’s an achingly quiet film. Every line, every gesture is precise. Sayles edited as well, and his cuts are frankly seductive; there’s never a cut where you don’t wish the scene had held on for another moment, good or bad. Lone Star makes several promises about its characters and their dramatic potential, then it realizes them one after the other in the third act. It’s one accomplishment after another—there are four plot resolutions: the B plot for Morton, the A plot for the mystery, the A plot for the romance, the C plot for Colon. Morton’s B plot is separate, other than sharing some characters, but the other three all echo and ruminate through each other. For the mystery’s sake, Lone Star has to sacrifice the Colon and Peña plot. There’s work on it, indicators, promises; the future’s unknowable and often sad.

It’s breathtaking stuff. Sayles nails it, ably shifting between drama, mystery, and romance. Cooper and Peña are a fantastic couple. Their romance is appropriately cute, apprehensive, passionate, and tragic. Morton probably gives the best performance. He’s got the best acting in a scene. Just utterly destroys. Canada’s great. Colon’s outstanding; she’s got the most challenging part. Gabriel Casseus is great as young Canada. Tony Amendola, Gordon Tootoosis, and Frances McDormand are all stops along the way in the investigation; all are great; Amendola in particular.

Kristofferson. Kristofferson is the best supporting performance. He’s an exceptional weasel hero, up against a younger, actually heroic replacement. McConaughey’s excellent in that role.

Awesome technicals—Mason Daring’s music, Stuart Dryburgh’s photography, Dan Bishop’s production design, the sound effects crew (Eugene Gearty and Lewis Goldstein are the credited editors). Lone Star’s always gorgeous, always sounds amazing, there’s nothing else quite like it.

Lone Star’s magnificent work from all involved.

Pig (2021, Michael Sarnoski)

Pig is an anti-noir. Writer and director Sarnoski sets it up as something of a neo-noir in the first act, with seemingly inscrutable modern-day hermit Nicolas Cage having to travel back to civilization and civilization being scared of him. And even though Cage’s adventure routes through shady settings, they’re just background to the actual journey and immaterial to the actual character. Pig is a character study—or a couple of them—in quirky (but not as quirky as it initially appears) wrapping. Sarnoski also delays the start of the character study to emphasize how unjustified expectation can affect a narrative; Pig does a great job of fulfilling promises to itself, not the audience.

Cage is a truffle farmer in rural Oregon. He lives within walking distance of a one-café town and driving distance of Portland, where rich foodies crave truffles. How else can they do artful, soulless winter menus; got to have truffles. His only contact with the outside world is his truffle dealer, overcompensating wiener Alex Wolff. Cage lives in a shack in the middle of the woods, Wolff brings him supplies in exchange for the truffles, which Cage finds with the help of his only friend, his truffle pig.

We get Cage’s name early, never get the pig’s, barely get Wolff’s. Names aren’t important for the protagonists specifically but also in general. Proper nouns are some of Pig’s noirish red herrings, seemingly significant but actually distractions from the main course.

After some adorable moments with the pig and Cage’s sorrowful solitary existence—Pig takes much of the first act to gradually establish; it certainly doesn’t appear they’re going to be able to go the character study route at the beginning. Cage and Sarnoski do a lot of work, the character development hurrying to make its appointment with the narrative when the action really gets going.

So soon after the pig’s established as cute and Cage’s existence (farming truffles for hipster foodies) is established as sad, bad guys kidnap the pig. Cage is going to need Wolff’s help getting her back because Wolff’s got a car.

Their rescue mission soon leads them to Portland, where Wolff is trying to establish himself as an elite restaurant ingredient supplier, and it turns out Cage has a unique history. Wolff’s very much under study, too, with Pig generally juxtaposing the two men, not specifically. There are faint echoes between the character development arcs, but universal ones, not ones precise to the characters. See, Cage has a very particular set of skills, skills he acquired over a very long career. And he’s going to have to use them, and it’s going to change everything for a very select group of people.

Now, Pig doesn’t spend much time with its supporting cast. One of Cage’s most crucial character revelation scenes is entirely in long shot, so the exposition has more significant effect than the actual acting. The delivery’s excellent and all, but it’s about the space he’s in and how he interacts with it. Sarnoski’s got good and better composition (there are occasional moments when it seems like cinematographer Patrick Scola trips and jiggles unintentionally—also ones where he’s intentionally jiggling), but Sarnoski always knows how to shoot the scene. The narrative distance is superb.

The primary supporting cast member is Adam Arkin. He’s great. He’s the Mr. Big in the anti-noir, and he’s got to do a significant shift real fast. Cage has to do a big shift gradually. Arkin gets a close-up to entirely change the course of the film.

David Knell and Darius Pierce are the other two principal supporting actors, both stops along Cage’s quest through his past. Knell’s outstanding in the first scene to really show off Cage’s skills, which is also where Pig’s very high aims start coming into view, and the film assuredly realizes them.

The whole show is not Cage. Wolff’s excellent too. Sarnoski’s direction is strong. The writing’s strong. But Cage could be the entire show. You’d need the script, but Cage could carry it without anyone else. The performance is mesmerizing start to finish. It gets richer as the film moves along and more details come out, but Cage is never changing, just revealing layer upon layer. He’s magnificent.

And Pig’s real good.

Legends of Tomorrow (2016) s05e12 – Freaks and Greeks

And, now, in the “they all can’t be winners” category, we have Freaks and Greeks, which sends the Legends to Hudson University to steal a chalice from a frat. It’s not a frat in 1979. It’s a frat in 2020, run by special guest star Drew Ray Tanner; he’s Greek party god Dionysus, who’s finally found a place where the party never stops.

Maisie Richardson-Sellers recognizes him from the old days, which is cool, he’s immortal or whatever. But he recognizes Richardson-Sellers, so apparently gods can see through her shapeshifting.

Whatever.

It’s a girl power episode where Richardson-Sellers has to convince Olivia Swann to be a team player. They do it by forming their own sorority, which requires they recruit three regular college student members (Briana Skye, Jennifer Tong, and Jade Falcon). The introduction to the three is maybe the best thing in the episode, as far as editing and narrative brevity, but ignores how we’ve already met them at the sorority mixer where Richardson-Sellers and Swann get kicked out for… cat-fighting.

Now, the Legends’s sorority is going to be different than the regular ones because it’s inclusive, socially minded, empowering, and not rape culture-y.

But Tanner’s already established it’s 2020 frat rules and they don’t allow any rape culture or bullying on campus.

Speaking of campus, there’s a subplot about Mina Sundwall getting a campus tour with dad Dominic Purcell and being put off by all the students being rich, privileged assholes.

There’s also the subplot about Nate (Nick Zano) reverting to his frat boy persona from college, so they seem to have retconned out him growing up immunocompromised until he got super powers, which I already knew but just wanted to point out because why not kick writers Matthew Maala and Ubah Mohamed a little. I had to sit through their stupid episode.

Maala’s written good episodes this season, Mohamed hasn’t. Let’s blame Mohamed.

Richardson-Sellers and Swann are both okay plus this episode, with the script getting in the way a little obviously. And Sundwall and Purcell would be great if they actually spent any time together.

Was someone in the writers’ room really gung ho for this episode? Are there just ready-to-go CW college sets? Because even though it’s effects-lite, there’s a lot of speaking cast to pay. I mean, bully for the cast’s professionalism but still….