The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994) D: Stephan Elliott. S: Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce, Terence Stamp, Bill Hunter, Sarah Chadwick, June Marie Bennett, Rebel Penfold-Russell. Popular Sydney drag queen Weaving up and takes a gig in the middle of nowhere, then invites Pearce and Stamp (playing a trans woman) along for the company (and gig). The often bickering trio makes the trek across the desert, far outside their less dangerous comfort zone. Funny, warm, sad, scary; excellent handily performances carry the uneven third act.

Batman: The Doom That Came to Gotham (2023) D: Christopher Berkeley. S: David Giuntoli, Patrick Fabian, John DiMaggio, Karan Brar, Navid Negahban, Darin De Paul, Emily O’Brien. The gorgeous production design alone could carry this animated Batman adaptation, set in the Roaring Twenties and has the Caped Crusader battling Lovecraftian horrors. The third act is an objection lesson in committing too much to the bit. The rest is a disturbing delight. Giuntoli is quite good as Batman here, though that third act does him dirty.

Black Christmas (2019) D: Sophia Takal. S: Imogen Poots, Aleyse Shannon, Lily Donoghue, Brittany O’Grady, Caleb Eberhardt, Cary Elwes, Simon Mead. Sort of remake, sort of occasional homage has sorority sisters again, but this time it’s all about the frat boys being creeps, rapists, and murderers. The first hour is basically just a zero humor SCREAM riff, getting worse as it goes. Good thing director Takal’s got a killer finale (no pun). It’s a long wait for the pay-off.

The Dark Crystal (1982) D: Frank Oz. S: Jim Henson, Kathryn Mullen, Frank Oz, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Louise Gold, Brian Meehl. Beautifully puppeteering can’t make up for the rest of this deeply weird, entirely unpleasant fantasy picture. Two elves have to save their desolate planet from the gross vulture-men. There’s torture, and “essence-sucking.” Henson and Oz aren’t up to the directing tasks either. But the David Odell screenplay is the real villain. It’s just awful.

It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2003) D: Kirk R. Thatcher. S: Steve Whitmire, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, Eric Jacobson, David Arquette, Joan Cusack, Whoopi Goldberg. Lackluster outing ends up being MUPPETS IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, but doesn’t have enough story for it so instead does a bunch of very contemporary references. Though it’s the best MOULIN ROUGE has ever been. Cusack and Arquette are bad as the main humans, but it’s really the writing and (lack of) budget. Some good laughs, of course.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) D: Brian Henson. S: Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Jerry Nelson, Frank Oz, David Rudman, Don Austen. Delightful adaptation focuses on Caine as Scrooge; he just happens to be Scrooge in Muppet world. He’s utterly fantastic opposite the magic unfolding around him. Great writing, great songs (by Paul Williams), and a particularly good outing for Gonzo and Rizzo as the narrators. Henson’s strong direction also helps. Funny, dad, and scary at all the right moments.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) D: Brian Henson. S: Tim Curry, Kevin Bishop, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmire, Jerry Nelson, Kevin Clash, Bill Barretta. Superb production design and imaginative “Muppet-izing” make up for some second-act meanderings in this adaptation of the Stevenson adventure classic. And while Curry’s fine as Long John Silver, he’s far from transcendent. Lots of good Muppet gags, and the eventual love song montage helps put it over. Make sure to hang out for the credits.

Agatha All Along (2024) s01e04 “If I Can’t Reach You / Let My Song Teach You” D: Rachel Goldberg. S: Kathryn Hahn, Joe Locke, Sasheer Zamata, Ali Ahn, Debra Jo Rupp, Patti LuPone, Aubrey Plaza. Fantastic performances make up for the “oh, another escape room” nature of the episode (and, perhaps, show?). It’s Ahn’s episode but it’s also where Plaza comes back in. Lots of charged banter between Plaza and Hahn. The enthusiasm makes up for the occasionally too obvious budget limitations. And LuPone’s just a delight, too.

Shrinking (2023) s02e02 “I Love Pain” [2024] D: Randall Keenan Winston. S: Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, Jessica Williams, Luke Tennie, Lukita Maxwell, Christa Miller, Ted McGinley. Given how the stakes from last episode’s cliffhanger evaporate in this one almost immediately… Well, it actually does work but it’s kind of annoying. This episode ends with a much better sad montage. Lots of good acting, especially Ford and Williams. Even Segel is better than usual, maybe because someone calls him on his bullshit for once.

Shrinking (2023) s02e03 “Psychological Something-ism” [2024] D: Zach Braff. S: Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, Jessica Williams, Luke Tennie, Michael Urie, Lukita Maxwell, Christa Miller. Well, Segel getting called on his bullshit lasted all of one episode and now they’re back to his bullshit actually being okay with everyone. Not Williams, but only because they’re using it for banter. And giving affect incapable Miller an emotive arc is a miss. Maxwell and Ford easily do the best in an iffy episode.

Shrinking (2023) s02e04 “Made You Look” [2024] D: Zach Braff. S: Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, Jessica Williams, Luke Tennie, Michael Urie, Lukita Maxwell, Christa Miller. Schmaltzy to the point sincerity doesn’t even matter anymore is certainly something to behold. They’re setting everything up for big dramatic confrontations and so on (even having Ford expound over a montage), so it’s all intentional. But it’s also lost all grip on reality so the stakes are toast. Even Maxwell falls victim to it. It’s desperately empathetic.

Shrinking (2023) s02e05 “Honesty Era” [2024] D: Jamie Babbit. S: Harrison Ford, Jason Segel, Jessica Williams, Luke Tennie, Michael Urie, Lukita Maxwell, Christa Miller. The schmaltz continues. Even as Segel gets called out again, all his amends are schmaltz. Without any stakes–Maxwell is still keeping her secrets, which ought to be the show, but is instead ignored–it’s hard to care. Worse, things are getting tied up, seemingly prematurely. It’s disappointing and unsurprising. Ford is still a delight. Ditto Williams.

Silo (2023) s02e05 “Descent” [2024] D: Bert. S: Rebecca Ferguson, Common, Chinaza Uche, Tim Robbins, Shane McRae, Remmie Milner, Steve Zahn. It’s a chase episode (which is a good way to follow-up last week’s big mistaken swing, like hold your best performers in the light, SILO). Anyway. The framed fugitives are trying to get back to the basement, lots of surprises as Common and Robbins (who’s just getting better) pursue. Also, low bar, but Glen’s best-ever SILO performance.

Silo (2023) s02e06 “Barricades” [2024] D: Michael Dinner. S: Common, Harriet Walter, Chinaza Uche, Rick Gomez, Tim Robbins, Shane McRae, Remmie Milner. More political drama, with Robbins and Common both starting to lose their grips, possibly because they’re relying on the wrong people. Lots of it is Uche deal-making so he can do the right thing. Then all the plotting of the mechanical workers, who might be ready to start the revolution. Also they might not.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e08 “Upper Decks” [2024] D: Bob Suarez. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Dawnn Lewis, Gillian Vigman, Jerry O’Connell, Fred Tatasciore, Ben Rodgers. The bridge crew gets a spotlight episode to show off their A tier Starfleet adventures, and it’s a lot of fun. Maybe they should have done one a season or something. There’s an engineering issue, boring artsy endeavors, an invasion, and adorable space cows. Plus action, gore, and romance. It’s all over too soon.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e09 “Fissure Quest” [2024] D: Brandon Williams. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Fred Tatasciore, Gabrielle Ruiz. Fantastic start to the finale, with an alternate universe adventure featuring Quaid and Newsome trying to stop the villain creating interdimensional rifts. They play it as a straight episode focused on the new crew, who are all alternate-universe versions of familiar TREK franchise characters. Lots of delight; lots of fun; the big swing tying it all together lands.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e10 “The New Next Generation (2)” [2024] D: Megan Lloyd. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Fred Tatasciore. Unfortunately, after the banger setup and a solid first act, LOWER DECKS lurches into spacedock for its finale. No actual onscreen character development for Newsome and Quaid, Cordero’s got an obnoxious last subplot, and Wells is a bit of a punchline. There are some cute nods, and the pacing’s outstanding. No fan service cameos, either; they’d be too enthusiastic.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e10 “The Promotion” [2024] D: Kyle Newacheck. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Tim Heidecker, Andy Assaf. Some solid laughs for the penultimate SHADOWS, which wraps up the season’s two subplots. There’s some inkling of a setup, but nothing about it screams finale-building. Still, nothing about the subplot resolutions required them to run the whole season, especially not since they’re acting like the resolve does enough character development for Novak and Guillén. It does not.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e11 “The Finale” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Kristen Schaal, Andy Assaf. Just okay finish has some moments, and some good moments for the cast (though, actually, everyone but Berry who seems bored). But they introduce a bunch of things they could’ve used to better frame the season. Like, really obvious stuff. And some of the credited guest stars… don’t seem to be in the episode. One super cute gag, though.

Batman: Soul of the Dragon (2021) D: Sam Liu. S: David Giuntoli, Mark Dacascos, Kelly Hu, Michael Jai White, James Hong, Jamie Chung, Chris Cox. Kickass animated Batman feature set in the 1970s, in a groovy, butt-kicking karate picture. It’s a team effort with Bats (Giuntoli, who’s fine) just a cog as he reunites with his (albeit mystical) dojo friends. Dacascos is Richard Dragon, Hu is Lady Shiva, White is Bronze Tiger. Hu’s legit great, Dasascos is solid, too. Fantastic action choreography.

Black Christmas (2006) Unrated Version D: Glen Morgan. S: Katie Cassidy, Kristen Cloke, Andrea Martin, Yan-Kay Crystal Lowe, Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert. Atrocious remake has less than nothing going for it even after the big twists turn out to be incest, cannibalism, and misogyny. The gore’s terrible too, because Morgan’s a bad director and writer. The acting’s something awful too, with “lead” Cassidy and Martin coming out best. Choke, Winstead, and Trachenburg are profoundly bad. Avoid this CHRISTMAS.

Fantastic Four (2015) D: Josh Trank. S: Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson. Abysmal adaptation offers nothing but bad performances, worse writing, and reminders of other movies one could be watching. Jordan does the best in the main cast. Teller’s terrible, Mara’s bad, Nelson’s literally chewing, and Cathey… poor Cathey. Bell’s awful too but why wouldn’t he be? It’s so incompetent it’s not even embarrassing. And there’s something funny about the music.

The King (2019) D: David Michôd. S: Timothée Chalamet, Joel Edgerton, Sean Harris, Tom Glynn-Carney, Robert Pattinson, Ben Mendelsohn, Andrew Havill. Epic-sized telling of Prince Hal’s transformation into King Henry V. Chalamet’s a solid lead; Edgerton (who co-wrote with director Michôd, so presumably intentionally) steals the show as Falstaff. Everything’s fine until the reveal-heavy finale when Harris (as another advisor) can’t get away with being so slight. Mendelsohn’s awesome in his bit. Nicholas Britell’s music’s awesome, too.

Kneecap (2024) D: Rich Peppiatt. S: Móglaí Bap, Mo Chara, DJ Próvaí, Josie Walker, Jessica Reynolds, Simone Kirby, Michael Fassbender. Pretty good “origin” story of Irish-language hip-hop trio, KNEECAP. The film’s fast and loose with the historicity of the sometimes fantastical events, and the third act’s a disaster, but the group’s sympathetic. Albeit not the best actors. But then there’s Fassbender in a bit part; he and Walker carry all the gravitas. Great photography, too (Ryan Kernaghan).

Man Push Cart (2006) D: Ramin Bahrani. S: Ahmad Razvi, Leticia Dolera, Charles Daniel Sandoval, Ali Reza, Farooq ‘Duke’ Muhammad, Panicker Upendran, Arun Lal. Rending tale of NYC breakfast cart vendor Razvi, who’s hustling to make as many bucks as possible, and how dangerous vulnerability can be in that situation. Writer, director, and editor Bahrani relies a little to heavily on melodrama (assuming DV can cover it; not with some of these actors), but Razvi’s so absurdly good it all works out.

They Cloned Tyrone (2023) D: Juel Taylor. S: John Boyega, Jamie Foxx, Teyonah Parris, Kiefer Sutherland, David Alan Grier, J. Alphonse Nicholson, Tamberla Perry. Outstanding, exquisitely crafted semi-satire about Boyega, Foxx, and Parris’s unlikely trio finding themselves in the middle of a government conspiracy. There’s a moody, grainy seventies vibe, which director Taylor also brings to the sci-fi action. Taylor’s clanging genres–Blaxploitation and “urban”–for sparks, but everything’s character-driven. The leads are fantastic (and the occasional cameo’s always solid).

A Very Missing Person (1972) D: Russ Mayberry. S: Eve Arden, James Gregory, Julie Newmar, Ray Danton, Dennis Rucker, Pat Morita, Skye Aubrey. TV movie updating of the Hildegarde Withers franchise has Arden in the lead, tracking down an heiress who’s fallen in with some hippies. But are they sketchy yacht captain Danton’s hippies? It’s slight to be sure, but Arden’s got great timing with the one-liners. Gregory plays her cop pal, except (young) blond charmer Rucker drives her around everywhere.

Rivals (2024) s01e01 “Episode 1” D: Elliot Hegarty. S: David Tennant, Aidan Turner, Alex Hassell, Nafessa Williams, Bella Maclean, Katherine Parkinson, Claire Rushbrook. Little bit too horny British period (1986) show (airing on Disney+!) about nouveau riche Tennant’s rivalry (get it) with old money Hassell. Tennant’s a commercial TV producer, Hassell’s an MP. Turner is the newest addition to the neighborhood, a ringer for Tennant’s network. It’s well-produced, well-acted, just… a British prestige trash soap. Great eighties soundtrack, though.

Silo (2023) s02e04 “The Harmonium” [2024] D: Aric Avelino. S: Rebecca Ferguson, Common, Harriet Walter, Chinaza Uche, Tim Robbins, Shane McRae, Tanya Moodie. Either SILO has something special in store, or it’s already peaked. The episode punts featured guest star Steve Zahn to get rid of the most dynamic actor on the show. Badly, too. They do a bad job of it. Some of the problem is Avelino’s direction, but everyone’s lost in a bad, protracted script. Except Uche; he’s doing fine.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e05 “Star Base 80?!” [2024] D: Bob Suarez. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Fred Tatasciore. Newsome doesn’t want to return to the crappy starbase where she was wrongfully exiled a season or two ago, but the ship needs repairs. Upon arrival, she clashes with the station commander (Nicole Byer). It’s a good, weird, really full episode (lots of lore). Lewis and O’Connell have a great subplot together, which DECKS didn’t do often enough.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e06 “Of Gods and Angles” [2024] D: Brandon Williams. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Gillian Vigman, Jerry O’Connell. Okay episode has Newsome mentoring a troublesome ensign (guest star Saba Homayoon) who’s descended from the TOS demigods. There’s a diplomatic thing to mess up and a whole mystery. Probably seemed better on paper. It’s funny but Homayoon’s not interesting. Quaid’s still on his alt-universe subplot, which has some highs but is also slight for final season arc.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e07 “Fully Dilated” [2024] D: Megan Lloyd. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Fred Tatasciore. Brent Spiner guest stars (as Data, obviously) and spends the episode counseling Wells, who’s convinced she’s in a competition with Vulcan science pal Gabrielle Ruiz. They’re stranded on an away mission; Newsome spends her time trying to live undercover stranded away party life to the fullest, with mixed results. Lots of (good) tawdry jokes to cover the rush.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e07 “March Madness” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Anthony Atamanuik, Tim Heidecker. Proksch goes to work with Guillén to help him establish an identity while Berry and Novak try to save neighbor Atamanuik from a demon. Of course, that demon happens to be March Madness (when do SHADOWS creators think these episode air). Lots of great laughs in both plot lines, with Demetriou getting a particularly great recurring bit.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e08 “P.I. Undercover: New York” [2024] D: Kyle Newacheck. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Anthony Atamanuik, Andy Assaf. Novak and Berry try to foil a police procedural shooting in front of the house while Proksch and Demetriou go to his friend’s house for an uncomfortable dinner. Zach Woods guest stars as the friend, and Kim Quindlen plays his wife. Kevin Pollak plays the TV detective. It’s a weird, successful mashing of plots, often very funny.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e09 “Come Out and Play” [2024] D: DJ Stipsen. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Kristen Schaal, Doug Jones. Anticlimactic to the point of self-parody as the gang finds themselves again on the run from all the other vampires in the world. This time it’s not even a mistake. The stakes (no pun) are all over the place, the script feels like it’s crossing (yes pun) off outstanding business… The show’s coasting with this one. Two more.

FROM (2022) s03e09 “Revelations: Chapter One” [2024] D: Jack Bender. S: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, David Alpay, Elizabeth Saunders, Scott McCord, Ricky He. Penultimate episode of the season and the cliffhanger reveal is something from last season, unaddressed until now. Or it’s new. It’s impossible to tell without paying too much attention… or binging. Everyone tries being extra nice to one another this episode, which is a vibe. Maybe if cartoonishly annoying Pegah Ghafoori weren’t the one in danger, it’d work better.

FROM (2022) s03e10 “Revelations: Chapter Two” [2024] D: Jack Bender. S: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, David Alpay, Elizabeth Saunders, Scott McCord, Ricky He. They go all in on the mythology explanations–and whether or not Perrineau is going to (possibly pointlessly) sacrifice his humanity for Pegah Ghafoori. It’s probably Avery Konrad’s best performance in the entire series. While the reveals are quick, they also pretty much explain or imply everything to date, right before the season finale ends on a big “twist.”

Silo (2023) s02e01 “The Engineer” [2024] D: Michael Dinner. S: Rebecca Ferguson, Harriet Walter, Amelie Child-Villiers. Eventually incredible tense season premiere sets up a second silo for Ferguson to explore. Since she’s mostly silent, there are lots of flashbacks to her childhood. Kid version Child-Villiers is fine, playing better off Walter than Ferguson usually did. Things get very good about halfway through then the cliffhanger is a little too basic.

Silo (2023) s02e02 “Order” [2024] D: Michael Dinner. S: Common, Harriet Walter, Chinaza Uche, Avi Nash, Rick Gomez, Tim Robbins, Shane McRae. All last season it seemed weird judge Tanya Moodie didn’t figure in more. Now she’s figuring in, with Robbins going to her for help (see, should’ve been Susan Sarandon). The episode’s all about what happens in the regular SILO during last episode. Decent–some of Robbins best acting on the show, ditto Common and Walter.

Silo (2023) s02e03 “Solo” [2024] D: Michael Dinner. S: Rebecca Ferguson, Common, Chinaza Uche, Tim Robbins, Shane McRae, Remmie Milner, Steve Zahn. Wait, is SILO finally going to deliver Steve Zahn his part? The episode’s often middling, too busy split between “back home” and Ferguson and Zahn bonding. There’s some real good acting (Tanya Moodie’s delivering), but some of it drags. Especially Robbins mulling and Common brooding. Then the finish sets Zahn up for something bigger… and I’m here for it?

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e03 “The Best Exotic Nanite Hotel” [2024] D: Brandon Williams. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Gabrielle Ruiz. Amusing but just okay episode about Newsome breaking up with thought-she-was-already-ex Lauren Lapkus. But it’s unnecessary character development. Meanwhile, Quaid is convinced O’Connell is going to get him maimed (intentionally) on an undercover mission. So lots of silliness for Quaid. Then the supporting cast, you know, supports. Nice plot reveals at the end.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e04 “A Farewell to Farms” [2024] D: Megan Lloyd. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Jon Curry. Strange and good episode set on the Klingon homeworld with returning guest Curry. He’s a disgraced ex-captain, now booze farmer with his goofy brother. Until Newsome and Quaid show up with a proposition. Then back on the ship, there’s a standard, amusing subplot about snooty avian aliens being obnoxious to the crew. Klingon stuff’s real good.

Tulsa King (2022) s02e09 “Triad” [2024] D: Craig Zisk. S: Sylvester Stallone, Martin Starr, Jay Will, Max Casella, Vincent Piazza, Annabella Sciorra, Dana Delany. KING takes care of business, GODFATHER-style, and… it’s no loss Stallone didn’t get to do GODFATHER TRE. (Well, maybe 3D). It’s a short episode, with some pseudo-big developments but also no more stakes because everyone’s all in on the diverse (not inclusive) mob. Then there’s a strange, earnest attempt at sincere empathy. But it’s still a miss.

Tulsa King (2022) s02e10 “Reconstruction” [2024] D: Craig Zisk. S: Sylvester Stallone, Martin Starr, Jay Will, Max Casella, Annabella Sciorra, Domenick Lombardozzi, Garrett Hedlund. After a facile wrap of outstanding business with a series of bows (including a hilarious scene where Hedlund talks about not being able to act, which seems cruel), the show sets up next season. Apparently ripping off FAST AND THE FURIOUS (no joke). It’s a dismal, inglorious shark jumping (with Stallone getting a cowriting credit). A dismally bad program.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e06 “Laszlo’s Father” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Kristen Schaal, Andy Assaf. Proksch goes to work with Guillén to help him establish an identity while Berry and Novak try to save neighbor Anthony Atamanuik from a demon. Of course, that demon happens to be March Madness (when do SHADOWS creators think these episode air). Lots of great laughs in both plot lines, with Demetriou getting a particularly great recurring bit.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e07 “March Madness” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Anthony Atamanuik, Andy Assaf. Novak and Berry try to foil a police procedural shooting in front of the house while Proksch and Demetriou go to his friend’s house for an uncomfortable dinner. Zach Woods guest stars as the friend, and Kim Quindlen plays his wife. Kevin Pollak plays the TV detective (maybe uncredited?). It’s a weird, successful mashing of plots, often very funny.

The Crazies (1973) D: George A. Romero. S: Lane Carroll, Will MacMillan, Harold Wayne Jones, Lynn Lowry, Lloyd Hollar, Richard Liberty, Richard France. Inventive low budget action thriller about a virus outbreak in a small town, specifically when the army arrives to clamp things down. Only a couple performances are, you know, good (Hollar and Harry Spillman as the officers), but many are “Romero good.” Jones, in particular. The first half has a great Vietnam commentary, which sadly slips in the second.

The Fantastic Four (1994) D: Oley Sassone. S: Alex Hyde-White, Jay Underwood, Rebecca Staab, Michael Bailey Smith, Ian Trigger, Joseph Culp, Carl Ciarfalio. Creatively vapid, infamously unreleased Roger Corman-produced adaptation of Marvel Comics’s “First Family.” Way too low budget, with–at best–flat performances. At worst… Culp, who somehow manages to be beneath the material. The leads–Hyde-White, Staab, Smith, Underwood–each try in their own way. Smith’d be most successful if Ciarfalio weren’t atrocious as the rocky alter ego.

House (1977) D: Nobuhiko Obayashi. S: Kimiko Ikegami, Kumiko Ohba, Ai Matsubara, Miki Jinbo, Eriko Tanaka, Masayo Miyako, Yôko Minamida. Incredibly weird horror film about seven high school girls going to the country to vacation with lead Ikegami’s aunt. Minamida plays the aunt, who has an identical cat to the one Ikegami finds in the first act. Bad things pick the girls off one by one; Matsubara and Jinbo (both amateur actors) give standout performances. Wild, wild stuff.

Hundreds of Beavers (2024) D: Mike Cheslik. S: Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, Olivia Graves, Doug Mancheski, Wes Tank, Luis Rico. Exceptionally weird mix of cartoon absurdity, silent film homage, and (presumably) superlative technicals. Tews (who also co-wrote and co-produced) is a wilderness guy (in the past, not the present) who decides to become a trapper, partially to impress fetching Graves. If only the hundreds of (human-sized) beavers would be more accommodating… BEAVERS is a singular experience.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part Three (2024) D: Jeff Wamester. S: Jensen Ackles, Darren Criss, Corey Stoll, Gideon Adlon, Troy Baker, Matt Bomer, Alexandra Daddario. So they bring in Stoll for the finale (as the Lex Luthor who’s going to betray humanity to the bad guy), and he’s a complete waste of a performance. Nothing goes right, starting with the atrocious animation. Also: good grief Daddario’s a terrible Lois Lane. Matt Ryan: say no next time; hashtag dignity. The “cameos” stink, too.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part Two (2024) D: Jeff Wamester. S: Jensen Ackles, Darren Criss, Meg Donnelly, Stana Katic, Jonathan Adams, Geoffrey Arend, Aldis Hodge. The first half, recounting how Supergirl (Donnelly) figured into PART ONE, and setting up villain Arend, is surprisingly okay. Adams’s stodgy super-being is more fun playing foster dad. And Arend’s story seems like it’s building to something. No payoff here, however. The whole thing goes to pot once it remembers it’s CRISIS. Way too much Batman, too.

Talk to Me (2023) D: Michael Philippou. S: Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen, Joe Bird, Otis Dhanji, Miranda Otto, Zoe Terakes, Chris Alosio. Well-acted teen horror picture (though the teen stuff doesn’t end up mattering much) eventually collapses under its own obfuscation. And insipidness. Doesn’t help the directors are entirely one-note either. Sad Wilde discovers she might be able to commune with her dead mom, never thinking about the consequences. No character development for her! (Or anyone, for that matter).

FROM (2022) s03e06 “Scar Tissue” [2024] D: Alexandra La Roche. S: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, David Alpay, Scott McCord, Ricky He, Corteon Moore. It’s one of the better (if not best) FROM bridging episodes. Considering it’s an extension of last episode’s bridging episode… though this episode does have a couple solid reveals. It also has Moreno and Bailey arguing too much, Perrineau almost entirely in support of other subplots, and guest star Robert Joy apparently not betraying McCord (I’m still worried).

FROM (2022) s03e07 “These Fragile Lives” [2024] D: Bruce McDonald. S: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, Scott McCord, Ricky He, Pegah Ghafoori, Corteon Moore. New regular Samantha Brown gets her big episode as she’s freaking out realizing she’s trapped in a nightmare. And she’s godawful. FROM’s bad acting has been improving, but Brown’s back at the “fire your agent” levels of miscasting. Or just inability. Hurts the episode a lot. Otherwise, lots of subplot water treading, presumably for two episodes from now.

FROM (2022) s03e08 “Thresholds” [2024] D: Bruce McDonald. S: Harold Perrineau, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Eion Bailey, David Alpay, Elizabeth Saunders, Scott McCord, Pegah Ghafoori. Guest star Robert Joy has maybe the best line of the show ever: he asks Bailey why he just had to sit through a useless scene and why doesn’t Bailey do the right thing for once. Preach, brother. McCord has a bad (mythology) episode. Not his fault, rather the reveal. Otherwise, third treading water in a row?

Only Murders in the Building (2021) s04e10 “My Best Friend’s Wedding” [2024] D: Jamie Babbit. S: Steve Martin, Martin Short, Selena Gomez, Meryl Streep, Zach Galifianakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria. Good season finale sets up things for next time–with Short running around worried fiancée Streep will be the murder victim (he’s realized they always have a murder in the finale). There’s not much in the way of character development for anyone but Short and even then it ends up being slight. But he and Martin have some delightful moments.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e01 “Dos Cerritos” [2024] D: Megan Lloyd. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Gabrielle Ruiz. As Wells tries keeping her (green, it’s important) Orion pirates in check–i.e. not killing but still plundering so Wells might get to go back to Starfleet–the gang recovers from her not being around. And then they run into an alternate reality version of themselves because of TREK science. Real good episode for Newsome in particular.

Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020) s05e02 “Shades of Green” [2024] D: Bob Suarez. S: Tawny Newsome, Jack Quaid, Noël Wells, Eugene Cordero, Dawnn Lewis, Jerry O’Connell, Gabrielle Ruiz. The gang’s all keeping busy, paired off for their adventures (or intentional lack thereof). Except all the plots except Wells’s are slight. Well meaning and earnest but slight. Wells has a solar sail race to save her pirate empire. After promising big thrills… well, there aren’t many. And all the plots are just about people not communicating.

Tulsa King (2022) s02e07 “Life Support” [2024] D: Kevin Dowling. S: Sylvester Stallone, Martin Starr, Jay Will, Max Casella, Vincent Piazza, Garrett Hedlund, Dana Delany. After immediately swerving from last episode’s cliffhanger, the show finally literizes Will’s idolatry of Stallone. But doesn’t really do anything with it. Will gets his toughest acting assignment and comes up short. Meanwhile, Stallone’s better than he has been the rest of the season. Something’s happened. This show could probably get another two episodes off one explosion.

Tulsa King (2022) s02e08 “Under New Management” [2024] D: Kevin Dowling. S: Sylvester Stallone, Martin Starr, Jay Will, Max Casella, Domenick Lombardozzi, Garrett Hedlund, Dana Delany. Casella has hit his breaking point with things falling apart around him, which gives him his biggest episode ever. And he’s terrible at it. The episode keeps trying various genre standards and coming up short. Frank Grillo’s really good, though. He’s speaking nothing words and he’s still good. Ditto Lombardozzi. Stallone looks strangely put out half the time, too.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e03 “Sleep Hypnosis” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Kristen Schaal, Doug Jones. The season rights itself with a done-in-one about the housemates fighting over Guillén’s old living quarters. Proksch discovers you can sleep hypnotize people, leading to hijinks. None of the other season plots come into play, which would be more concerning if the episode weren’t so funny. Nice guest spot from Jones. Also a good Novak showcase.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e04 “The Railroad” [2024] D: Kyle Newacheck. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Anthony Atamanuik, Andy Assaf. The Monster (Assaf) returns, this time figuring into both Berry and Proksch’s storyline again. They’ve got to convince neighbor Atamanuik they work at a railroad. Meanwhile, it’s office politics for Guillén, Demetriou, and Novak. Guillén’s supposed to fire Novak, Demetriou’s sick of being unappreciated. The best “season plotlines” episode of the season so far.

What We Do in the Shadows (2019) s06e05 “Nandor’s Army” [2024] D: Yana Gorskaya. S: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillén, Mark Proksch, Doug Jones. Hilarious homage to APOCALYPSE NOW (because why not) has Novak going full Brando. It only gets better once Proksch realizes what’s going on and gets in on it, too. Lots and lots of deep cuts (not just to war movies, either). Then Berry and Demetriou get to bond and bicker. Guillén’s arc still feels soft, but the episode’s killer.

Alien: Romulus (2024) D: Fede Álvarez. S: Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen Wu, Daniel Betts. Nearly okay ALIEN mid-equel (after ALIEN 1, before ALIENS, but tied into PROMETHEUS) eventually collapses under too much unironic “homage.” If lead Spaeny were better, someone might be able to hold it up. Fearn and Wu are particularly bad, though. Jonsson’s good as the android. Some excellent special effects and an outstanding score from Benjamin Wallfisch.

The Dead Pool (1988) D: Buddy Van Horn. S: Clint Eastwood, Patricia Clarkson, Liam Neeson, Evan C. Kim, Jim Carrey, David Hunt, Michael Currie. Painfully pedestrian final DIRTY HARRY has Eastwood bickering with reporter Clarkson while murders keep happening on horror film director Neeson’s set. Neeson’s terrible (his shifting accent’s something), but otherwise no one’s bad. It’s just a lousy script, particularly for Clarkson. The Lalo Schfrin score disappoints, Van Horn’s direction’s barely competent, and it’s too slight. Like it’s a TV show pilot.

House by the River (1950) D: Fritz Lang. S: Louis Hayward, Jane Wyatt, Lee Bowman, Dorothy Patrick, Ann Shoemaker, Jody Gilbert, Sarah Padden. Excellent Gothic thriller about lech Hayward convincing brother Bowman to help him cover up a crime. Except when the going gets tough, Hayward thinks maybe of selling brother down the RIVER. Wyatt plays Hayward’s suffering wife, who has an unrequited love subplot with Bowman. Hayward’s fantastic as he sheds layer after layer of humanity. Great direction from Lang.

Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part One (2024) D: Jeff Wamester. S: Matt Bomer, Jensen Ackles, Darren Criss, Meg Donnelly, Stana Katic, Jimmi Simpson, Zachary Quinto. Animated adaptation of foundational DC Comics crossover centers on the Flash (played by Bomer). If Bomer weren’t so bland, it’d be a bit better. But the way-too-cheap animation would still do it in. Still: Kevin Riepl’s music is good, and there is some solid logic to the plot structure. It’s all just badly executed.

Making Mr. Right (1987) D: Susan Seidelman. S: John Malkovich, Ann Magnuson, Glenne Headly, Ben Masters, Laurie Metcalf, Polly Bergen, Hart Bochner. After boyfriend (and star client) Masters disappoints, PR wunderkind Magnuson moves on to Malkovich’s space exploration android. Built in Malkovich’s image. The android quickly falls in love with Magnuson. Hijinks ensue, including with Headly as Magnuson’s best friend, and Metcalf as (the human) Malkovich’s “love” “interest.” Malkovich, Magnuson, and Headly are great. Often real funny, but third act misses.

Mute Witness (1995) D: Anthony Waller. S: Marina Zudina, Fay Ripley, Evan Richards, Igor Volkov, Sergei Karlenkov, Alec Guinness, Oleg Yankovskiy. Excellent thriller about gore FX artist Zudina witnessing a murder on set. She’s mute, which leads to some perilous situations (in addition to the general thriller perilous situations). Writer and director Waller’s got a great sense of humor. Zudina is outstanding, as is Yankovskiy–the only cop who believes her. Strong by the second act then keeps rising.

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969) D: Ronald Neame. S: Maggie Smith, Robert Stephens, Pamela Franklin, Celia Johnson, Gordon Jackson, Diane Grayson, Jane Carr. Fascinating, albeit patriarchal examination of early 1930s Edinburgh school teacher Smith. Her uncompromising, narcissism-fueled, self-imposed dedication to her girls threatens to turn her into Dr. Frankenstein. Watching Smith weave the character is always devastating. Neame makes some very good (and very bad) choices. The teen actors try hard but often come up short. Probably more Neame’s fault.