Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #252

Slsh252

This issue’s the first in the first post-Levitz era. While they left it to Jim Starlin to screw up Levitz’s epilogue, wrapping up that epilogue falls on new writer Gerry Conway. The credits promise “a new beginning” for Superboy and the Legion, with Conway writing, Joe Staton penciling, and Dave Hunt inking.

They’re off to an inauspicious start.

When we left our heroes, Earth had been destroyed (again), betrayed by Brainiac 5, who the Legion told could be emperor of the universe if he stopped the monster he’d imagined into existence from destroying reality. This issue opens with the Legion consulting Brainiac 5 about Matter-Eater Lad, who sacrificed himself to save the world at the cost of his sanity.

It’s not a great opening. They try hypnosis to cure Matter-Eater Lad, which doesn’t work, then they gotcha Brainiac 5 about him still being a prisoner. They tricked him for his intellect, which can’t figure out they’re tricking him.

Matter-Eater Lad and Brainiac 5 are going to be one of the ongoing subplots, along with the Legion’s moneybags running out of money. They’ve been teasing the latter for ages, even making it part of the previous arc. I just realized there’s no follow-up on how it resolved (off-page).

The main plot is the Legion fighting these aliens who are trying to mine the sun. Unfortunately, their technology produces red sunbeams, which render Superboy powerless. In reverse from the usual Legion approach, the bad guys beat the heroes’ individual powers instead of those powers combining to defeat the enemy.

Obviously, they defeat the enemy, but not with their powers.

Conway’s got some okay sci-fi ideas, but not Superboy and the Legion ideas. His characterizations seem either off or limited; new Legion leaders Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl are standoffish with their teammates and cloying with each other. Former leader Wildfire is now the comic relief. Conway’s not trying very hard.

The art’s in the red even for Staton and Hunt.

I didn’t want to give up on these post-Levitz issues without giving them a chance, but I think I’m only committing to one more try.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #251

Slsh251

According to tops three minutes of Internet research, the Steve Apollo credit for this issue is actually both Jim Starlin and Joe Staton. Starlin had his name taken off the previous issue and this one because he wanted the story to appear in an over-size special release. Apparently, post-Starlin, they rearranged this half—adding a new page from Staton, making it even less what Starlin intended. Unfortunately, though, no rearranging is going to help this issue. Especially not with the art.

I think Starlin’s trying to do Jack Kirby and just failing miserably. The giant cosmic monster walking through space seems like only something Kirby could get away with in a superhero comic. But Starlin, inked by Dave Hunt, isn’t cutting it. The monster’s headed towards Earth on a singular mission—to discover how it was created, which turns out to be a good question. It’s got a lousy answer, but the question was ripe with potential.

The creator in question is Brainiac 5, who has been under a lot of stress lately due to a lack of positive reinforcement. When he lost the election to be Legion leader, he decided he’d create a monster to kill every single living creature in the universe. But he wanted to toy with the Legion first, so he made the monster; now, the monster is going to use the machine Brainiac 5 used to make the monster to destroy the universe. Brainiac 5 could’ve just destroyed the universe, but no, instead, we had to get this stagnant story.

Paul Levitz scripts from Starlin’s story. There’s a lot of exposition, with Levitz introducing every character in narration like… it’s a DC Special Series issue, and there might be fresh eyes on the Legion. But, as a regular issue, it’s too much, especially when there’s never any pay-off to anything. Except Superboy chastising Wildfire for being a Debbie downer, which is an entirely new characterization for both of them.

This issue’s Paul Levitz’s last Legion for a couple years.

Not a good finish.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #250

Slsh250

Oh, I’m sorry, I was expecting them to finish the story this issue. What was I thinking?

I was actually thinking it’s the 250th issue, and they’d do a double-size spectacular, concluding a lengthy story arc involving an evil Legionnaire plotting against the group. The issue’s got a plot and pencils by Jim Starlin (under a pseudonym, Steve Apollo), script by Paul Levitz, finishes by Dave Hunt. The outer space stuff—the literal outer space stuff, planets, star fields—is glorious. Beautiful colors from Gene D’Angelo. The space monster is pretty great. The rest of the art, not so much.

But some of it’s gorgeous.

The story’s good. Even from the start, it’s clear the story will probably be pretty good, and Starlin and Hunt will make some weird art choices. The bizarre art choices are obvious because Chameleon Boy looks very strange. Kind of like a leprechaun but the wrong color. It’s an intentional move, it’s got a lot of personality, good or not, but once the rest of the Legion shows up, the art gets bland.

Chameleon Boy’s going to reveal the traitorous villain to Wildfire, only someone attacks Chameleon Boy. So Wildfire assembles the Legion to update them. Starlin and Hunt do okay on Wildfire because he doesn’t have a face, and his costume has many ridges. When the art’s on a flat, human superhero? Yawn.

Though the action scene with Superboy and Mon-El’s pretty good in long shots. They can’t do the close-ups of the heroes, including a super silly expression one of Mon-El, but the space monster fight’s surprisingly exciting. Especially since the monster’s really goofy. It’s a monster called Omega; it’s a construct, walking through the universe to Earth to destroy the Legion at their headquarters. It really hates the Legion.

Somehow—thanks to the villain reveal—Levitz is able to make all of it palatable. Even compelling. The mystery itself’s compelling, especially since Wildfire’s an excellent straight man, but the space monster with goofy dialogue is the second guest bad guy. An evil hologram in an executioner’s outfit shows up at Legion headquarters to tell the Legionnaires their days are numbered. It’s too absurd and would be more concerning if Levitz didn’t pull things for the mid-issue space action, then the reveals and fallout.

Levitz (and Starlin) do a great job with Wildfire’s arc this issue. It ends up being a strong enough backbone.

I just wish they’d gotten the resolve over with. Levitz’s dragging it out too much.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #249

Slsh249

The back-up, starring Chameleon Boy, is nine pages, only a page shorter than the feature, which resolves last issue’s shit monster story. Sort of resolves. Also, the shit monster looks leafier this issue, presumably thanks to Jack Abel’s inks (it’s like they’re fighting Oscar the Grouches). Even if the feature weren’t so slight, the back-up would stand out because it contains the most surprising thing I’ve seen in Superboy and the Legion. My world is shook.

Joe Staton inking himself is… not bad.

It’s not great. He does have trouble with faces, but at least when he’s inking himself, he understands how they work. And his figures aren’t as… I’m trying to pick between gelatinous, wobbly, flimsy, and wonky. Comparing the art in the feature with Abel inking Staton to Staton inking himself, it’s hard to believe they’re the same penciller. It raises several questions, but mostly why they would have Staton ink himself on the nine-page back-up to greater success than on the ten-page feature. Is it too much to ask for better art to be on the feature?

Gerry Conway scripts the feature; he also wrote last issue, which I didn’t remember. It feels very fill in.

The shit monster is attacking the Legion headquarters, kicking Sun Boy’s butt. Brainiac 5 is able to stop the monster, all while whining about how no one appreciates him for always being the smartest and bestest Legionnaire. There’s a little bit with Mon-El and his comatose girlfriend, Shadow Lass. He’s refusing to help the Legion, even though Brainiac has figured out Shadow Lass will be fine.

Though I don’t think Brainiac actually tells Mon-El his discoveries.

Another team of Legionaries headed to the sewer; the shit monster kidnapped their financier, R.J. Brande, and they figure the sewer’s the place to be. That subplot actually goes unresolved, presumably for follow-up next issue, but the Legionaries seemingly forget they’re looking for Brande in the sewer. Even after they discover the secret behind the shit monster, it’s all about Brainiac 5 feeling unappreciated, not their bankroller being missing.

And bankrupt, but they don’t know he’s bankrupt yet; maybe next issue.

Even if the art weren’t terrible, it’d be a too slight story.

The back-up is a simple mystery for Chameleon Boy. Some disgruntled employee is terrorizing his place of employment—the Science Police station—and Chameleon Boy’s got to figure it out. Throw in a fetching alien lady and a lot of exposition, and it’s somehow nine pages. Paul Kupperberg scripts; I think it’s his best Legion work I’ve seen so far, but he’s got the added benefit of each competent panel from Staton bewildering more than the mystery ever could. It’s a reasonably pat mystery, actually. It’s unclear why the Science Police couldn’t figure very obvious things out themselves.

The art’s far from a total success, but Staton shows previously unrevealed design chops. It’s a Silver Age story with a decidedly Bronze Age feel, which has its charms.

Who knew Staton inking himself would save the issue?

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #248

Slsh248

So while this issue has Mon-El going around declaring Shadow Lass is “his woman” and people better recognize, cultural mores of the late seventies didn’t allow writer Gerry Conway to point out the Legion is fighting a shit monster.

The Legion is helping with post-Earthwar rebuilding, and something strange is going on down in the sewers. So they investigate and, immediately after making fun of regular people for getting scared of nothing, a giant Lovecraftian shit monster emerges and attacks.

Joe Staton and Dave Hunt do the art this issue. There’s bad, and there’s worse. Mon-El yelling at everyone to save Shadow Lass is the worse; the action is the bad. But the initial action sequence itself isn’t too bad. Conway knows how to juggle the multiple perspectives, and he still gets to use thought balloons, and the tentacles of a shit monster are terrifying, no matter who’s drawing them.

Once the first fight’s over, and Shadow Lass needs medical attention, the comic downshifts. There’s building tension with the shit monster working its way through the city’s plumbing as the Legionnaires go about their days. Superboy’s working out to take his mind off things, Brainiac 5’s being a weirder asshole than usual, and Lightning Lad is making Saturn Girl dinner for the first time. Who knows how those scenes would play with better art. It’s not impossible for Staton pencils to have some charm, but not with Hunt inks. Not here, anyway.

There’s a two-pronged cliffhanger. The shit monster can attack multiple places at once, so it’s after the Legion and their financial benefactor, R.J. Brande. Brande’s just discovered he’s bankrupt, which no doubt will kick off a new plot line.

Despite being a bad-looking comic, it’s fine? The lousy art’s limiting the book’s exposure (and potential), but there are definitely worse badly drawn comics. Conway seems less interested in Legionnaires’ bickering than other scenes, which is a problem since Superboy and the Legion is usually about churlish genetically engineered white men bickering.

Also, shit monsters are terrifying. Especially with tentacles. Drip drip.

Superboy and the Legion of Super-Heroes (1977) #247

Slsh247

This issue’s an object lesson in bad art and how it can ruin a story. Not the feature, which has Jack Abel inking Joe Staton, but only because it’s not a good story. Len Wein scripts, finishing last issue’s cliffhanger about the Fatal Five’s latest scheme against the Legion.

Only it’s not a scheme. The Fatal Five tried to help a developing planet along and get them admitted into the Federation, only the investigating Legionnaires realized they’d broken the Prime Directive. So the Fatal Five then attacked the superheroes. Previously, it was unclear it wasn’t an elaborate ruse; this issue clarifies—the supervillains thought they were doing the right thing, and when the Legion rejected them, they went as homicidal as usual.

Superboy can’t find any other Legionnaires to help, so he’s got to figure out a way to save the day himself. With better art, it might’ve been an okay story for him. His problem-solving isn’t bad; it’s just got terrible visuals, as do all the fights on the planet. With better inking, Staton’s layouts can have some charm. Well, within reason. Abel’s not up for the task. Not able, as it were.

Between the art and the patronizing, infantilizing plot—like, if the villains really don’t know taking a planet from the Stone Age to the Space Age in a week is wrong, I’m not sure they can comprehend why being villains is bad either—it’s a disappointing story. Though, obviously, with not terrible art, who knows.

But then the art’s even worse on the backup. Dave Hunt inks Staton. The figures need to be seen to be believed; I thought it was bad with the female Legionnaires (they’re scantily clad enough to showcase the godawful figure drawing), but then fully clothed Brainiac 5 has a massive, triangular chest in a third of his panels.

The story—written by Paul Levitz—is a cute anniversary story for the Legion, set during the election for the next leader. Brainiac 5 and Wildfire are campaigning against each other (and both abject dicks), but then strange, disastrous setbacks keep occurring. The punchline ought to be cute but instead comes off harsh and feckless because it’s affecting many people.

So, with better art, the second story would be improved. Hunt inking Staton, however, just leads to a charmless reading experience, with the goofy punchline no help.

It’s not a terrible comic, but it’s far from good.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979, Robert Wise), the restored director’s edition

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: The Restored Director’s Edition occasionally feels like a fan project. Or at least a temp project. Like the new opening titles, set in gold. They look like they were done using an iPhone app. Then there are shots where they couldn’t find the original materials, so the picture suddenly looks terrible, like a hacky up-convert to 4K. There are plenty of spectacular restored shots, but when they’re bad, they’re really bad. And they’re usually during effects sequences.

The reason for restoring the director’s edition is because it was made for DVD, and they didn’t do the new special effects in high definition. It took the restoration team a while to convince the studio. The end credits break out the first and second teams, and some of the names are the same; they came back twenty years later to do the same work again, just with eight million more pixels.

The result’s… okay?

In addition to the bad titles and the damaged original footage or whatever, there are a few times the changed special effects don’t work in high definition. Only once is it distracting, when William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, and DeForest Kelley all lose the edges of their bodies in front of a starfield because portrait mode choked on their pajama costumes.

Some of the CGI is good, some of it is middling, and a couple shots are lousy. It’s sometimes annoying but usually forgivable; they’re well-intentioned.

Content-wise, the narrative is unchanged from the last director’s edition (as far as I remember it). A space cloud of enormous power invades the galaxy, headed straight toward Earth, and the only starship in intercept range is the Enterprise. Except they’re undergoing a massive retrofit to make the ship movie-ready in 1979, not impressive for TV in 1966; plus, they’ve got a new captain, Stephen Collins, leading the same old crew.

But not Shatner, who’s a desk jockeying admiral now, or Kelley, who’s retired to take up some weird future New Age thing if his gold medallion is any indication, or Nimoy, who’s retired to his home planet Vulcan to give up all emotion and… get a more blinged-out gold medallion as a reward. They really missed the chance for Kelley and Nimoy to compare bling.

When Star Trek: The Motion Picture isn’t meandering through its sci-fi thriller plot, it’s vaguely about Shatner desperately wanting to relive his glory days and using catastrophe to do it, dragging Kelley along because Shatner can’t do it without him. There’s actually maybe the argument Admiral Kirk’s going through some depression and saving the known universe is just the way to get out of that funk. So long as he gets some help from his friends.

Shatner and Kelley act that arc, which is occasionally in the script. Nimoy shows up later and sort of figures in, but not really. Shatner’s arc stops when he and Kelley get to worry about Nimoy instead. But more significant than either of those arcs is Collins’s G-rated romance with Persis Khambatta. They used to know each other when he was stationed on her free love planet. They’ve got a bunch of unresolved feelings—not to mention Shatner assuming command of Collins’s ship and everyone on the crew being thrilled—and it gets more runtime than any of the other arcs. Also, it figures into the A-plot of the alien spaceship out to destroy Earth.

There is lots of good acting from Shatner, but Kelley’s an absolute deadpan riot throughout. Nimoy’s okay once he gets over his “logical means rude” bit. Collins is bland but affable. Wise directs the heck out of Shatner and Khambatta in entirely different ways but to similarly strong effect. Even as the finale plods—before racing too quick to the finish—Khambatta’s mesmerizing.

Sturdy support from the rest of the crew—Walter Koenig gets the most fun, George Takei and Nichelle Nichols get lots of background busywork, James Doohan’s around in the first act, then relegated to occasional “dannae ken if she can take any more” scenes. Unfortunately, Motion Picture’s got a clunky story, something the director’s editions improve but can’t fix.

Still, the special effects are glorious, the Jerry Goldsmith’s music’s peerless, and the movie’s generally great looking. Except for the pajama costumes, of course. Wise and the very large cast do wonders even with those silly, silly costumes. There are lots of people around at all times; even if they don’t get lines, they do have to react to the dire circumstances, all while in onesies.

I do wish they didn’t have that really bad footage in this version, but otherwise, all drive systems are good to go.

The Black Stallion (1979, Carroll Ballard)

The Black Stallion is two separate, subsequent narratives. The filmmakers utilize two different but related styles for them. The first narrative, with 1940s tween Kelly Reno, shipwrecked on a desert island off the coast of North Africa with a wild Arabian stallion. The second is after Reno’s rescue when he and the stallion have to adjust to “real” life back home in the United States. That adjustment will lead to ex-jockey and current unsuccessful farmer Mickey Rooney taking an interest in Reno and the horse, who don’t do well in town.

The first narrative takes just under an hour, starting with Reno and dad Hoyt Aston on the ship, with a bored Reno discovering the horse onboard. There’s not a lot of dialogue, with director Ballard immediately establishing the film’s distinct narrative distance to protagonist Reno. The first part of Stallion’s more visual, the second part’s more audial, but Ballard and his crew maintain techniques throughout, including this deliberate angle on Reno. Ballard focuses on Reno’s experience of events but without showing his reaction to those events. Sometimes the film will catch Reno as he reacts; it just does so while the reaction’s already in progress. The film gives Reno his privacy.

The film’s got almost a half hour without any dialogue. Reno makes some noises at the horse in attempts to ingratiate himself—to limited success—but otherwise, most of the desert island sequence is no diegetic sound, just Carmine Coppola’s score. Coppola’s score is often ethereal, moving between styles, then focusing in for exact dramatic effect. The Black Stallion is a technically precise film. It’s exquisite too, but the precision is on a whole other level. Ballard, cinematographer Caleb Deschanel, editor Robert Dalva, and composer Coppola create these sublime sequences, each distinct but building off one another. The film tracks this relationship between Reno and the horse, their developing friendship and companionship, and gives them space to separately experience their desert island plight. The only word for it is divine.

And it takes Stallion until the film’s third act (and of the second narrative) to get back to that level. The second part is technically superb and quite charming (Rooney’s adorable, Teri Garr’s extremely sympathetic as Reno’s mom, and the period production design is excellent), but it’s not the first part. It’s not about Reno and the horse as pals anymore; it’s about Reno trying to figure out how to have an Arabian stallion somewhere in Rockwellian America. Rooney and the potential of racing glory give Reno some idea, though.

Since the film started on the ship, the film never establishes Reno before his exciting and tragic adventure. He’s always quiet and reflective, even on the boat, so one can assume he’s not less exuberant than before, but once he’s home, it’s still all about the horse. They’ve just lost the context for their friendship, with Rooney becoming—if not a surrogate dad—then at least a male role model for Reno. Rooney can understand some of Reno’s relationship with the horse. Despite the intense dangers the two experienced, Reno still has boyish dreams for him and his horse.

Good thing he lives in a place where male wish-fulfillment is a cornerstone of the culture because he’ll get his chance. Though the film will let Reno verbalize his dreams, the closest is when he breaks down and tells mom Garr about his experiences, which the film showed without sharing his internal experience. It did an excellent job of conveying that experience visually, but it’s not until much later Reno finally gets to talk about them.

The film’s terse with all its actors; Axton gets a great, staring straight in the camera (Reno’s perspective) monologue at the beginning, but he doesn’t talk much otherwise. It takes until the end of the second act for Reno to get his big moment. Garr gets hers in the same scene. Both Rooney and Clarence Muse have already had their big scenes, despite coming in after Garr. And big comes with an asterisk. They’re just longer passages of dialogue, maybe monologues. Ballard’s not interested in listening to people talk, instead showing how they act and interact.

The sound editing’s the thing in the second part. The sound of the horse running, hooves now on grass and pavement. Although there were lengthy horse-riding sequences in the first part, those sequences all had Coppola’s music accompanying them, not the actual sound. Ballard and the sound editors (Todd Boekelheide, Richard Burrow, Diana Pellegrini, and Stephen Stept) very deliberately refine the sound through the second part until the exceptional finale, when the sound becomes the most important technical. Albeit amid the exceptional other technicals. Stallion’s finale is gorgeous filmmaking. The photography, the editing, the directing, all stellar. And then the sound is even more impressive.

It’s transcendent, and when Stallion ties the epical (if stylishly lyrical) second part back to that lyrical, divine first part.

The film has several phenomenal sequences (in addition to the finale). Heck, the end credits are a remarkable flashback sequence. But most of the scenes on the island are fantastic, particularly the underwater dance and riding sequence. Reno chasing the horse through town is also great. But, again, nothing compares to the finale. Well, some of the island stuff, but it literally compares, not figuratively.

The Black Stallion is exquisite and masterful, occasionally divine. It’s a magnificent film.

The Amityville Horror (1979, Stuart Rosenberg)

Despite not watching the horror franchises of the eighties while growing up in the eighties, I was familiar enough with them to know most franchises—so long as they started with an A list cast—had a generally well-received first installment before going to heck. And I knew The Amityville Horror was an exception; no one thought the first one was any good. And I was assuming it’d be bad. But I didn’t realize how low into the great Long Island undiscovered oil reserve this Horror would go.

There is nothing redeeming about Amityville Horror. Certain aspects could be even worse, but nothing is approaching good. Stuart Rosenberg can’t direct a horror or suspense sequence, which is fine because screenwriter Sandor Stern couldn’t script one. Maybe cinematographer Fred J. Koenekamp could shoot one, but only also maybe not because Koenekamp’s only decent photography is the exteriors (sans the silly thunderstorm shots) and none of the horror takes place outside. Even if Koenekamp could, Robert Brown wouldn’t know how to cut them. And then there’s Lalo Schifrin’s sadly silly score. It’s like the entire crew of the film is incapable of making this movie scary. Or interesting.

The actors don’t help things. They’re all in a race for worst performance. Rod Steiger wins if only because he’s energetic and terrible. Margot Kidder’s… better than “lead” James Brolin, but she shouldn’t be so much better. Brolin gets really bad. Like, in the big finale the dog seems embarrassed to be acting opposite him (in addition to being embarrassed with the whole production; the dog’s the hero, but it’s not worth it for the two hours). Sure, the script is terrible and Brolin’s character arc is incompetently executed, but it’s still mostly Brolin’s fault. Because if he’s actually trying instead of just phoning it, it’s worse. Steiger’s already won because he’s obviously trying and failing; Kidder’s resigned; Brolin’s… Brolin.

Supporting cast is all bad too. Worst is either Val Avery as a cigar-chomping stalker detective, Don Stroud as priest Steiger’s protege, or Natasha Ryan as the daughter. Stroud and Avery are bad in a way Amityville seems like a spoof of itself. Ryan’s just a terrible kid actor. Some of the problem is clearly Rosenberg either not being able to direct his cast or just not doing it. Incompetence or negligence seem to be the only two Amityville options, with the obvious caveat its running downstream from on high; i.e., no blaming Kidder for her negligence because what the hell else could you do.

Now, the story involves Native American burial grounds, exiled New England witches, tar pits, guys who kill their families, along with a lot of things to say about Catholicism.

Horror doesn’t have real subplots, but occasionally there are minor exposition dumps, and they’re often very weird. Kidder’s either a divorcée or widow with three kids. Brolin marries her, converting to Catholicism, which is a big enough deal his business partner, Michael Sacks, gives him crap about it. Maybe Sacks is just a piece of shit. Whatever. But Kidder starts the movie wearing around modified Catholic school girl outfits because part of being married to her is Brolin gets like impromptu nookie unless one of the kids needs something or there’s a ghost or whatever. Seems all good to start—including a really pointless, leaden sex scene—but Brolin’s soon very sick of playing papa bear to other cubs.

But it’s like it takes very long. Brolin’s sick of the kids before the end of the first act, so then it’s all about him chopping wood to show his displeasure with Kidder and the life she’s got him locked into thanks to her Catholic school girl outfits. Meanwhile there’s a whole subplot about the Church not supporting Steiger’s clinical psychology based determination it’s a Hell House because he’s got a secular master’s degree and what kind of loser believes in ghosts. Murray Hamilton’s the head Church official, hopefully getting a solid, easy paycheck. He’s really highly billed for three and a half minutes tops. But even if the Church is negligent in protecting Kidder and company, the house is able to mess with Steiger through the whole movie from afar, when Steiger’s in the church, so clearly the Church has no power?

Meanwhile, Ryan starts seeing an imaginary friend—actually a demonic little girl who appears in the form of a warthog—and messing around in the house, kind of old school gaslighting Brolin and her brothers by messing with objects, closing doors, sneaking up. She’s a little psychopath who locks her babysitter in the closet or whatever. The first act of Horror kind of shows the “rational” explanations for the horror events, but stops and goes all in on supernatural because Rosenberg isn’t incapable of doing things like implying. The whole film is seemingly allergic to subtext. Stern’s script rushes into the main story, filling in details as it goes, but never naturally, always in giant expository dumps the actors, director, and Stern’s script can’t successfully realize.

But with Ryan, it’s almost entertaining because the rational explanation for her hijinks are obvious. It’s not entertaining though, because Ryan’s terrible, the directing of those scenes is terrible, and so on and so on. Amityville never (from the AIP logo to be honest) suggests it might be good, but it also never even gets vaguely interesting. It’s always dull. Every shot, every scene, every minute… dull.

The Amityville Horror is The Amityville Horror.

That dog’s a good boy though; shame he didn’t get a credit.

All That Jazz (1979, Bob Fosse)

There are few secrets in All That Jazz; the film immediately forecasts where it’s going, with clear shots of star Roy Scheider in the hospital amid the other quickly cut montage sequences. But these are flash forwards, as opposed to the present action and then we’re seeing flashback. Because we’re actually not even seeing “reality” yet. First we meet Jessica Lange, mysterious, magical, dressed in white, in Scheider’s head maybe. These sequences are—except when director Fosse and editor Alan Heim cut them to be so—disconnected from the main narrative. They’re even disconnected from Scheider’s eventual hospital bed hallucinations. They’re not in his imagination, not in his consciousness… maybe it’s his soul. Doesn’t really matter. Putting a noun to it doesn’t change how it functions, giving Fosse and co-writer Robert Alan Aurthur a way to do some show not tell exposition on Scheider’s history as well as give him an egoless outlet.

The film’s present action begins with Broadway director Scheider casting for his next production. Fosse goes through the introduction to Lange, then the quick cut montage sequence of Scheider gearing up for the day (Visine, Dexedrine, cigarettes, positive affirmations), and then gets to the first big dance number. The sequence—Scheider cutting auditioning dancers, then working with the ones who make it—is breathtaking. Set to a live performance (which adds a whole other layer) of George Benson covering “On Broadway,” it’s not just about Fosse’s composition, which showcases both the individual artistry of the dancers but also the scale of the audition as well as Scheider’s place in it, and he and Heim’s editing, which captures movement peerlessly, but also introducing the main supporting cast. Well, minus Ann Reinking. But we meet ex-wife Leland Palmer and daughter Erzsebet Foldi and then the show guys—producers William LeMassena and Robert Hitt, accountant David Margulies, song writer Anthony Holland—from all their various reactions, we get some grounding for Scheider. The show guys are able to tell his not show-minded interest in one of the dancers (Deborah Geffner), which Foldi and Palmer are able to pick up on as well, though they react differently. But Scheider’s not just doing the show, he’s also cutting together a movie, The Stand-Up, about a comedian (played by Cliff Gorman), and running the editing team ragged. It’s also causing Scheider’s contact guy with the studio—Max Wright—nuts.

It’s at the screening of the day’s cuts we meet Reinking, the girlfriend, which is just before we get to see what kind of womanizer everyone’s dealing with. Since leaving the auditions and editing his movie to exhaustion, Scheider’s also had time to ring up Geffner to make a date.

There’s a lot of humanity to Scheider already. The audition sequence, when he’s cutting people, there’s great care in the film to show his hesitations and sympathies. The scene between Scheider and Geffner is where we get to see how Scheider’s empathy has got a strange formula to it. He’s heartbreakingly rude to Geffner, absolutely piggish, but also aware of how his behavior plays out. The asides with Lange have set up Scheider’s convoluted, sorted sexual history with women—Keith Gordon plays him in the flashbacks to working as a young teen in burlesque theaters, where the dancers tease (and don’t tease)—and then we get to see the repercussions of his devout philandering play out with Reinking. Geffner is, apparently, to Reinking as Reinking was to Palmer. Only Palmer’s Scheider’s creative muse—he’s only doing the show so she can headline it—and Reinking’s clearly a good dancer. Geffner is not, adding further complications and giving us a chance to see how Scheider works with his dancers.

The only person Scheider can’t manage—though with Palmer, it’s more she lets him manage her—is Foldi. There’s this amazing scene where Scheider and Foldi dance, with her trying to talk to him about settling down and him workaholicing his way through it, and even though he’s in charge of choreographing the dance, everything she says takes him a little by surprise. The relationship between Scheider and Foldi—well, Foldi and everyone (Reinking and Palmer) have an amazing relationship. In the chaos Scheider drums up so he can control his creative efforts, Foldi’s the only other one able to weather it. Because, like Scheider, she’s native to it.

Scheider’s just cracked the show when the heart troubles go from giving him pause to requiring hospitalization. It’s approximately halfway through the movie. Then there’s the medical drama parts, which race by—once Scheider’s condition improves, Fosse does a lengthy montage sequence, cutting between various moments during Scheider’s hospital stay and some external factors—Foldi’s experience of her dad being hospitalized, the show guys trying to get another director (John Lithgow). Fosse will drop longer scenes in the montage, kind of taking a break before going back to spinning around, seeing all the various moments. It’s all fairly light. Lighter than anything else has been in the film to this point.

So when Scheider’s inability to control his urges hits again and he takes a turn for the worse, it’s time for the hallucination musical numbers. There are four of them, a showcase for Reinking, Palmer, Foldi, and then women in general. They’re all amazing. But whether or not they’re enough to keep Lange’s symbolic lips of Scheider’s….

The choreography of all the sequences is startling. None of them aren’t great. But then there’s how Fosse shoots them too. How Giuseppe Rotunno lights them. How Heim cuts them. It’s extraordinary work.

Scheider’s performance is great. Then Palmer. Then Foldi. Palmer doesn’t get any expository devices with angelic Jessica Langes to establish her character. She barely gets it in the script. She’s got to do it all with looks. She does it. And Foldi’s excellent. Everyone else is good… Reinking has to play a lot with a stone face and she does it well. The show guys are all good. They’re kind of the comic relief. Even as they cover their asses.

Lithgow’s fun.

The music, the dancing, the direction, the technicals… all of it is exceptional. Heim and Fosse’s editing—which is the subject of the movie in the movie subplot, so the editing is begging attention—is singular.

All That Jazz is a peerless motion picture.