The Stop Button

If the scripter weren’t Paul Levitz, I’d almost wonder if he were making fun of (plotter and editor) Gerry Conway’s take on All-Star to this point. JSA chairman Hawkman comes off like a dipshit; Superman is the only adult on Earth-Two, except maybe Hourman, who spends his guest appearance thinking about how unheroic superheroes have become.

Because they’re acting like Conway’s still writing them.

The issue opens with everyone trying to save Dr. Fate, who’s near death from last issue. They use Star-Spangled Kid’s cosmic rod on him while trying to play his internal monologue for his teammates to hear (or actually see). But all they discover is the Ankh, which reminds Green Lantern Dr. Fate’s big into Egypt and magic and stuff and maybe there’s a better way to save him than cosmic rod life support.

Though at some point, Star-Spangled Kid will pass out off page and stop providing the life-maintaining energy, and presumably, Fate still doesn’t die. But we don’t spend any real time on it because Hawkman’s too busy being a dipshit.

Hawkman sends Green Lantern and Flash to Egypt, tells everyone else to mind Dr. Fate, then heads home to get into bed with his good lady wife and maybe, just maybe, play around with the giant ancient Lemurian sorcerer he’s got encased in amber. Too bad the amber melted and the sorcerer kidnapped the good lady wife (and killed Hawkman’s treacherous assistant curator).

At that point, Hawkman immediately sounds the all-JSA alarm—which did not go off in any of the issues where they were saving the actual planet Earth (two)—and recalls Superman to duty. They all meet up at headquarters, where Wildcat and Power Girl have been bickering, and Hourman has been embarrassed to be in a union suit with such unprofessionals.

Hawkman then whines at the assembled heroes about them not caring enough about his kidnapped wife—one of them has the gall to point out Dr. Fate’s in trouble, too—before everyone just goes along with him. They go to Tokyo, where the sorcerer has Mrs. Hawkman in inter-dimensional suspended animation.

The people of Tokyo are paralyzed and lying prone on the street. When the JSA arrives, Hawkman tells everyone to concentrate on what’s important—his wife—and ignore the civilians. Superman reminds them to do the opposite, actually.

I don’t think Levitz is having a laugh at Conway’s expense. I think they’re still playing it straight. But good grief, they’re all a bunch of twerps except Superman and—so far—Housman.

Interestingly, Levitz doesn’t continue Conway’s characterization of Power Girl as a vocal proponent for women’s lib. She’ll mouth off to the fellows, but Levitz plays it like she’s just a brat. He also makes sure the old men leer at her and talk about it.

Speaking of old men… Golden Age Superman. Wally Wood—over Keith Giffen layouts—draws Superman like he’s got an almost static head shot every time. Still brings life to it, but it looks like he’s following some style guide from 1943. It’s a vibe.

The issue moves well enough thanks to the energy in Giffen’s layouts and Wood’s contributions. It’s not like there’s a particularly high bar to clear for All-Star to make par.